As promised, I’m very proud to present my very good friend Dave Mauro, easily the best damn Brawl player out there period, and his long-awaited review. If there’s one guy who knows this game, inside and out, it’s definitely dmauro. So without further adieu…

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REVIEW: Super Smash Bros. Brawl

by Dave Mauro

The Super Smash Bros. Formula

The Super Smash Bros. series is a fighting game series for the layman. Unlike so many of its ilk, there isn?t a long list of character specific moves performed by describing thumb numbing shapes on the directional pad combined with one of several different power levels of kick or punch. Instead there are only two attack buttons: standard and special, which both vary in attack depending on which direction the analog stick is tilted. This simplicity makes for a series of games that are quick and easy for anyone to pick up.

Smash Bros. not only simplifies the traditional fighting game mechanics, it changes them up rather drastically. Rather than beating on an opponent until his health bar is empty, each attack will knock him around more and more until he is sent careening off the screen with a well timed smash attack. This mechanic allows for surprise comebacks from the brink of KO, as well as early KOs by cleverly guarding the edge, which tends to make the game much more exciting than the usual fight ?till you drop mechanic.

Super Smash Bros. further turns tradition on its head by allowing four players to battle at a time. Team up with friends against the computer, or have a chaotic free for all match. Throw in the option of randomly appearing items which can do anything from stun opponents to make players twice their normal size and now you?ve got something that?s more than just a fighting game.

But don?t let this simplicity fool you. The fact that the previous game in the series was one of the most popular tournament games on the Major League Gaming roster is testament to the fact that while these games make for great chaotic, ruled by chance party-games, there is a deep fighting system tucked within.


The cute veneer hides a surprisingly impressive fighting game

Some Essential Changes

A common misconception about Brawl is that it is the same as Melee but with additional characters. Well, certainly much from Melee has been retained: it has the same two-to-four player fighting game with most of the same mechanics; more than half of the roster is composed of characters from Melee; the auxiliary game modes are back with Home Run Contest, Multi-Man Challenge, Classic Mode, and others; and the collectible trophies have even returned. However, each of these aspects have been significantly changed and improved upon since Melee.


Classic battles are some of the most fun to set up and play with friends

The core mechanics have changed in several ways (warning: this paragraph is full of technical details). Most notably the mid-air dodge no longer dodges in a certain direction and instead simply dodges in place. This eliminates the popular advanced technique in Melee called wave dashing. The air dodge has increased defensive air options as it can now be used multiple times and can be followed by an attack. The next most notable change is that gravity has been reduced. There is still the option to fast fall by tapping down on the analog stick, but right away the game will feel very floaty and a little bit slower. The lower gravity also makes it more difficult to perform combos. The sweet-spot for grabbing edges has been increased in size so recovery is much easier in Brawl, and tether recoveries are now easier as well (although they will not work if someone is already hogging the edge). An input buffer has been added so that moves can be executed much more quickly without the need to time them to the precise frame at which they can be activated (most other fighting games use this). And of course there is tripping: every time a player dashes, they have an approximately 1% chance of tripping and leaving himself open for attack (the effect is the same as slipping on a banana peel). These are the most major changes to the core mechanics although there are plenty of more minor changes most players will never even recognize.

These are all changes that the people who have been playing Melee steadily and competitively for the last eight years either love or hate, with the exception of tripping, which is universally despised because it is a foolish blow to the competitive scene. It was a wise decision to remove some of the most popular advanced techniques of Melee though. This allows time for newcomers to familiarize themselves with the game before new Brawl specific advanced techniques are discovered and widen the gap between experienced and casual players. For the casual players these changes will seem insignificant when compared to what has been added to the game.

Essential Additions

While Melee had an impressive 26 playable characters, Brawl has a whopping 35. There are about 12 characters that play in entirely new ways (while Ike, Lucas, Wolf, and Toon Link are new and interesting, they are mostly based on existing characters), and many of the returning characters have been tweaked (some for better, Luigi; some for worse, Jigglypuff; and some unnecessarily, Samus). Characters such as Olimar and Snake add an unparalleled level of depth to the game simply by virtue of how differently they play. Many people argue for quality over quantity and that bigger is not better, but when all of the roster additions are fairly balanced and bring new and interesting mechanics to the game, it?s hard to argue that Brawl?s expanded roster is not the greatest aspect of the game.


King Dedede combines the power of a heavyweight fighter with the recovery of a lightweight fighter

Of course they couldn?t make a new Super Smash Bros. game without new stages. The new stages are not as much of an upgrade as the new roster is, but some of them in particular stand out. There is a WarioWare, Inc. stage that forces the players to occasionally stop fighting to play a mini-game and have a chance at winning a starman, super mushroom, or a health boost; the Mario Bros. stage changes the fight to a mad dash to collect upturned turtles and crabs (they are extremely powerful projectiles); and there is a stage in which Pok?mon invert and flip the camera essentially causing everyone?s controls to reverse. Some of the stages drastically change how the game is played and others are simple variations of previous stages.

Final Destination and Battlefield remain intact, but not without drastically needed superficial renovations. Battlefield no longer looks like a cheesy VR battle room, and instead has been given a classical ruins theme to match the game?s new operatic opening score. Final Destination is no longer stuck out in space, but instead soars through the galaxy and above an ocean while a sunset provides a dramatic flair to accompany the music. Considering that these will be the two most often played levels, these updates were a fantastic idea.

Ten additional Melee levels return as well. These stages seem to be about three quarters of their previous size due to the fact that the Brawl character models are larger than their Melee counterparts. While I miss Pok? Floats, the broken but fun Hyrule Temple is back and much better now that it is slightly smaller.


Keeping the custom stages simple but interesting is the best approach

The included stages are enough to satisfy any player, but Brawl introduces a stage editor which allows players to make anything from a ridiculous multi-tiered all ice and spikes stage to a simple variation of Battlefield in which the platforms have been inverted. It?s a little generic with only three themes to choose from, but since there is an option to choose any song from those collected, a lack of more themes will have to be forgiven.

I will quickly mention that new items have been added to the game as well. There is the eponymous Smash ball which is so rare and devastating that when one appears, the fight shifts focus as everyone tries to get their hands on it. There are also the Pok?ball inspired assist trophies which summon various Nintendo characters. Kirby?s Dragoon is a one-hit-kill weapon which must be assembled by collecting three pieces that usually end up being juggled from player to player until someone collects all three. There are also several more minor item additions, but these are the three that can significantly change the game when turned on. Including all three is a recipe for a chaotic match.


The new assist trophies help to rack up damage and KO opponents

Another great addition that Brawl brings to the series is online play. After players have honed their skills by practicing against the much improved level 9 CPU, they can play against friends and strangers online. There are a few different ways to play online: play against friends with your own settings (the game uses the standard friend code system unfortunately); play against strangers with only the option to play two minute item-on matches as teams or free for all; or spectate and bet coins on other players? matches.

While this all sounds great, there are many problems in practice. First off, I have never been able to find and play a match with strangers (possibly because of router issues). Secondly, it?s a fighting game: any bit of lag, and there will be at least some lag, is going to make the game less fun. I?ve had decent latency between friends nearby such that I was able to have some seemingly lagless matches, but any time I try to play someone that isn?t in the greater metropolitan area, I have to stick to four player items-on matches in which the lag is a little less noticeable amidst all the chaos. Taunt based text messaging is nice to have, but it is a poor substitute for voice chat. The entire online experience is a little disappointing, and is certainly not suitable for competitively play.

But when a friend calls me up and asks if I want to play some Brawl, I?m really happy to have the ability to play across town. This is a huge plus for the game, lag or not.


Settle old rivalries with friends online

All the Little Things

One of the appeals of Super Smash Bros. is all the fun junk that gets crammed into it. As I mentioned above, the game types from Melee are intact; Events, Home Run Contest, Training, Multi-Man, all with cooperative two player mode added. In addition to these there is now an adventure mode called the Subspace Emissary (SSE).

The SSE is a little difficult to describe, but it?s something of a cross between a platformer, a brawler, and Super Smash Bros. This mode pits players against little weenies and gigantic bosses in side-scrolling levels with the focus on action, but exploration encouraged. SSE can be played with a friend, and I highly recommend it because otherwise it gets a little boring. There isn?t a plot proper, but rather the story plays out as a patchwork of cutscenes with only the vaguest of connections to one another. Even the introduction of the final boss is completely free of any narrative constraints. As silly as each cutscene is, I found that I was playing to see each of them more so than for any sense of satisfaction that I was getting by killing koopas and goombas with Metaknight and Diddy Kong. There is something both hilarious and heart-warming about seeing Pikachu running alongside Samus for reasons unknown.


The boss battles help keep the Subspace Emissary interesting

Adding a layer of fake depth to the SSE are stickers which can be collected in nearly every mode of play. The stickers can be attached to the base of each character?s trophy and will buff that character?s stats. Since the SSE is not terribly difficult even on the harder settings, there is no reason to bother with this except for those that love stat managing. The real reason the stickers are around is to complement the pastiche theme of the game. And stickers aren?t all; we?ve also got the trophies again. And rather than a slot machine to unlock these extras, there is a more fun shoot ?em up styled arcade slot machine which uses the coins that are collected throughout the game. The sticker and trophy experience is entirely superfluous but fun.

There is also a wall of challenges devoted to taunting players with stages, music, trophies and stickers which can only be unlocked by meeting certain requirements. Some are easy and will be unlocked through normal play, some are difficult and will require a lot of determination to unlock, and some simply take a long time to unlock. The more difficult challenges unlock stickers and trophies so they can be ignored by players looking only to quickly unlock all the stages and music. The more compulsive players are free to bravely attempt clearing all of the challenges.

The most exciting new bonus feature of Brawl is the CD item. This is a random and very rare item drop that disappears very quickly. Each time one is collected, one of the hidden songs for one of the stages is unlocked. The frequency of how often the song plays on that stage can even be fine tuned in the My Music options menu. Considering how quickly I got sick of most of the Melee soundtrack, this is one of my favorite extras.

Brawl also introduces the option to change control schemes. It seems like such a simple addition, but it really helps the game realize its full potential. Several control configurations are available: GCN controller, classic controller, Wii remote (sideways), or Wii remote with Nunchuck. Not only that, the button arrangement for each control scheme can be configured independently. Controller configurations are tied to player profiles so every player can setup their own. I?ve made some very helpful changes to my classic controller layout and I?ll never be able to go back to default controls on the GCN controller.

The Vault section of the game contains other features I haven?t discussed for the sake of brevity, but I will briefly mention that Brawl allows players to save screenshots and match replays, look at a chronicle of every Nintendo video game released for every system, and even play demos of the classics whose protagonists are featured in the game. But for someone only interested in Brawl the fighting game, these extra features, SSE, stickers, control options, match replays, all can be easily ignored without missing a beat. The hidden characters will be unlocked simply by playing versus matches.


Arranging screenshots of trophies is a fun distraction

The Brawl Experience

Brawl has quickly become my favorite fighting game, and one of my favorite video games. Its combination of accessibility and depth of technique as well as its versatility in varying from a strict fighting game to an all-out party game makes it fun whether I?m playing against a single competitive opponent or three of my friends. The diversity of the characters ensures that while I have a favorite character (Olimar in case anyone is wondering), I have just as much fun playing any of the other characters, and because I don?t have to keep learning ridiculous input sequences for each character?s move-set, I am free to experiment with characters I am less familiar with.

The lower gravity, larger edge sweet-spot, and new characters come together to put the focus of the battle into the air. Chasing opponents off the edge to land an aerial hit before grabbing onto the ledge to prevent them from recovering with their up b technique is a thrilling experience even newcomers can appreciate and is no longer a rare, high-level play occurrence. Although Brawl feels a bit slower than Melee due to the change in gravity, it ends up being more exciting for it.

The near perfection of Brawl means its faults stand out all the more. Tripping does not have an on/off option (without a doubt the biggest fault), some characters have been unnecessarily weakened, the online component is weak, there is no option to use the directional pad instead of the analog stick (except when using the Wii remote sideways), and replays of matches longer than three minutes cannot be saved. Considering how complex the fighting system is and how much optional content has been stuffed into the game, it does well to make out with so few and so unobtrusive faults. When all is considered, the game is overwhelmingly positive.

Brawl is an amazing fighting game, it is a satisfying single or co-op brawler, it is an exceptional party game, and it is a silly and fun tour of the Nintendo universe. It excels at each of these facets individually and combines them seamlessly into a single experience that stands out even among the history of amazing Nintendo games featured within the game.


Epic battles are commonplace this time around

3 comments

05/20/2008

Pray For God To Bless Me With This Amount Of Money: $_____

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

The past couple of days have been pretty busy ones.

“You damned fools… dis’ is not a bodega!”

Everyone knows that I’m obsessed with and am completely on love with New York City cable access, right? First off, some might recall me mentioning how I was supposed to be on some chess-related call-in show, called Chess Live, hosted by a dude that’s somewhat known in various NYC indie comics and ska circles. Unfortunately, I totally forgot about it; my scheduled appearance actually fell on the day I did my test run of the podcast. So if you’re reading this, sorry Phil! Maybe next time? Though I know the show airs once every two weeks on a Thursday, and I was hoping to do another recording this upcoming one…

… Speaking of, a select few have managed to get their hands on the recording. Actually, just one: Katie. According to her, I apparently mention my taste in girls like eight or nine times throughout the hour, regardless of the topic at hand. Though what she found most “interesting” was when I went down my list of likes. Which is, not so much sexy but cute, nerdy-looking (so clich?d, I know), Caucasian (pale actually)… and scared looking. Yeah, you folks figure that one out. Or, simply wait for the my mega-epic, sci-fi sexual fantasy spectacular, in comic book form, coming soon I hope, which will be chock full of terrified girls, all naked and covered in goo….

But anyhow, this past Friday night I finally made it on the air of Flaccid Ego, another live call-in show, this one hosted by an ornery television psychic who gives readings to callers (or doles out insults to ones that give him shit, which is like 98% of the time). For those unfamiliar with this crown jewel of the NYC cable access world, and yet another reason why staying home on a Friday night in Manhattan is not such a bad idea, you basically call in, give him your first name, and then he takes care of the rest. But step out of line in the slightest, and watch out. I myself, thrilled to actually get through and finally talk to the dude, treated him with the utmost of respect, which he really appreciated. Enough to be told that I would be getting a raise at my job! Thing is, I am self-employed… though I just did a letter from the IRS stating that I would be getting the $600 for my stimulus check, so I guess maybe that counts? Now if I had been rude, I would have been told to expect a venereal disease or something. Katie then got on and gave him the class “FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU!!!” I then tried calling back, to scream “MAD DOG SUCKS, MAD CAT RULES! SUCK IT, SUCK IT, SUCK IT” but by that point, the phones were really jammed.

Anyway, those not living in Manhattan can stick check him out on YouTube; there’s numerous videos to be found, though this one sums it all up the best, me thinks.

These next 24 important hours are crucial to you.

Saturday was especially packed. Aside from having lunch with Hilary, then going clothes shopping with Katie, Joe Salina, and Mooney… got something pretty wacky in the mail. A question to all you New Yorkers out there, though I guess it goes out to everyone: did anyone else get a letter from Saint Matthew’s Churches this past Saturday?

Churches sending out junk mail, claiming to do miracles and offering free junk is nothing new, but the stuff I got from Saint Matthew’s is positively mind-blowing. I should really get scans since no description will do it any justice; the centerpiece of the package is the Faith Church Prayer Rug, which one is supposed to pray to God while kneeling on it. And pray for what? Well, along with the rug were a bunch of testimonies from various folks, mostly old women, touting the miracle-making powers of this blessed cloth. And in all their cases, it was for more money, which they all got! Though best of all was the accompanying letter, which not only explained who they were (it was constantly mentioned how they were an old, established church… one that is 57 years old), but gave extremely detailed instructions on how to properly use the cloth…

“When you use this Faith Church Prayer Rug, go into a room where you can be alone (just God and you). Turn off the television and radio and try to be by yourself when you kneel on this Holy Ghost, Bible Prayer Rug, or spread it over your knees. [How convenient!] We want this Church Ministry, Prayer Rug [I love how they constant change the descriptive terms for the thing] to be touching both of your knees as you pray for the needs you are facing right now. It is going to be like you are kneeling before God All Mighty at the altar inside a great church of blessings. If you need more joy, peace, health, money, a new car, a new house, healing in family communication, or whatever, we, as a very old (57 years) church, want to know about it. Check your prayer needs on page two of this letter. [I'll get to that in just a moment]…

These next 24 important hours are crucial to you. Timing is important to God. After you kneel on this Church Prayer Rug, or place it over your knees, place it in a Bible, on Philippians 4:19. (If you don’t have a Bible, its okay – just slide it under your side of your bed, for tonight, you can. If you can’t do this, it is okay.) Leave It There No Longer Than Tonight Only! God sees. Then, in the morning it is a must that you get this unusual blessing Church Prayer Rug out of this house and back to us, here at the church’s chapel, prayer room, in faith. [God I love the overuse of bolds] We must also have this letter back, with whatever you need prayer for, printed on page two. You must get this Bible Prayer Rug back to the church so we can rush it onto another family that’s in need of a blessing. Do this without fail. Please, do not break this flow of power between us….

And on the back, you can check off all the stuff that you want the church to pray for. Including…

- my soul
- a closer walk with Jesus
- my health
- my children
- confusion in my home
- to stop a bad habit
- a better job
- a home to call my own
- a new car
- a money blessing
- I want to be saved
- pray for God to bless me with this amount of money: $_____

… Christ. Pretty ballsy to have people not only ask God for money, but to specify the amount?

As for the rug itself, the face of Jesus is on it, with his eyes closed. Further instructions are on the rug itself; you’re supposed to stare at it till his eyes open. Then go to a quiet room, yada, yada, yada. Oh, did I mention that this rug is actually a piece of paper? That once again, after its use, you’re supposed to return ASAP. There was even a stamped addressed envelope enclosed! I love how it says “The church will pay this postage. Drop in any mailbox” with also the words “THIS IS THE NEXT MORNING” for whatever reason blazed across.

In the late afternoon, Katie began developing a fierce headache, so she applied the rug, not on her knees as instructed, but on her face, to get even more feeling power from it. But no dice. Thanks for nothing Jesus, lol. Anyhow, due to headache, she wasn’t able to make it out to…

How To Buy Drugs In Morningside Park

That Saturday night was the long-awaited wedding party of June and Joe Simko. Both got hitched late last year, but were so busy with renovating their new home that having a party at the time was simply not an option. There was a ceremony for their families at the time, but that was down south, so now it was finally time for the New York peeps to celebrate!

BTW, Joe popped the big question to June while on the beautiful beaches of Okinawa a little less than a year ago, where I was also present. Speaking of, a bunch of folks were at the party, including Keith and Anney, which marked the very first time the five of us have been together since our epic Japanese adventure. Which reminds me, I’ve recently resumed the arduous task of adding titles to all the photots from that trip over at Flickr; I know I already posted like 800 pictures from my initial report last year… well, here’s the rest of them, 1,750 to be exact!

Oh, so aside from catching up, and posing for assorted wacky pics, like this one…

… As well as watching June do some routine to Seven Brides For Seven Brothers, I got to learn a how drug dealers operate these days. So basically, where Joe and June now live is in Morningside Heights. They actually live right next to Morningside Park, which is pretty nice during the day, but at night… it gets mad sketchy. I noticed during the party that there was a dude sitting on one of the benches with seven or so dogs, also just sitting there, in the dead of night, and wondered what the deal was. Apparently, underneath each dog’s collar is some drugs; folks go up to a dog to act as if they’re petting them, but in reality, they just reach for what’s underneath the collar. Kinda fucked up. And of course, everyone in the neighborhood knows what the deal is, except for the cops.

30 Frames Per Second Is Still Okay In My Book

Anyway, I guess the really big news is that I am finally the owner of an Xbox 360. About damn time, I know. Those of you who go to the forums have probably already seen what my initial feeling have been, but for those who haven’t been keeping track…

- I guess it goes without saying that I was elated that the damn thing worked when I first powered it up. I was honestly expecting a red ring of death, right of the gate (like Joe Salina experienced when he first got his… actually, five systems in a row, before finally getting one that simply worked). I actually borrowed a debug unit once, and got the insta-red rings there, and naturally, panicked immediately ensued.

- Speaking of, when I finally got the thing up and running (the debug unit), I was shocked to discover how loud it was, and simply assumed the retail unit would be quieter. I was wrong.

- The best part has been downloading demos for all the games I’ve been curious about. Actually, its a complete Godsend, and has already saved me a ton of time and energy (oh, and money too). The best part is how… and I hate to admit this, but… at this point, I simply do not play more than just a level or two of most of the games I own, so just having a level or two is almost good enough.

- Still, I’m not completely sold on Xbox Live Gold. I just can’t justify paying $50 a year for online functionality when I know damn well that most of the games I will be regularly playing with will not feature online modes. I’m also not completely sold on online gaming in general, which is playing with complete strangers. I guess that’s why I don’t mind how Brawl on the Wii is set-up; I’d rather just play with Dave anyway. Though I will be spending some time with GTA IV online soon (I am currently on a free month long trial subscription), so perhaps my mind will be changed.

- Also, I had always heard that the Marketplace was a wasteland, but only now can I say with certainly that it is absolute fact. And I am even now even angrier that DoDonPachi Dai Ou Jou Black Label X and Ketsui were rejected for Live Arcade, while complete piles of horse-shit like Cloning Clyde and Heavy Weapon got the okay. Oh well. At least Fez and Braid are on the way. And like so many other Treasure fanboys, here’s hoping the rumors of Radiant Silvergun are true (and that Dai Ou Jou & Ketsui get released on a disc, as rumored… also then again, Ketsui was also supposed to come out for the DS, and that never happened either). So until till then, PSN > XBLA, especially after what I saw last night. But more on that in a moment.

… But yeah, thanks to the ability to sample games, I’ve gotten a chance to play a LOT of 360 games. Albeit in tiny bite-sized morsels. But enough to at least form tiny bite-sized opinions. So with that in mind, here are my very tiny two cents on assorted games….

Ridge Rager 6 – The game is nice and shiny, though I find the colors to be rather muted and as a result, everything looks kinda bland. At the very least, it has none of the vibrancy of R4. Also, it being a Ridge Racer game, I can’t fucking deal with the controls. Again, something I was able to cope with in part 4, for whatever reason. Maybe because it was indeed the perfect Ridge Racer game?

Beautiful Katamari – Everything I think of this game, I remember folks going “it’s so soulless”. LOL. But seriously, its the same game as before, but much sharper, and a much faster frame-rate. But I certainly don’t mind a sequel, especially since that just means more of that awesome Katamari music. Plus it’s actually playable this time around, whereas the PSP version was not, though I will say that not having both control sticks right next to each other is a little weird. Also, the faster frame-rate makes the game feel a lot faster, which again is strange, and also adding to the disorientation is how it slows somewhat erratic as well. Plus, it seems a tad bit more difficult (otherwise, my Katamari rolling skills are pretty dusty). Though in the end, as I’ve said before, I’d rather they copycat a good game instead of a shit one, hence why this game is not making want to rage against the machine.

Dead Rising – Man, folks weren’t kidding about how unreadable the text is on a standard definition set. I’ve been told the game is a waste of time, since the deck is so stacked against the player, but I already know that it?s a game where I’m just going to want to play for just two to three minutes at a time, just killing zombies with whatever I can find, till I get bored.

Senko No Ronde – One of the very first games to make me seriously interested in getting an Xbox 360. It’s pretty awesome, but again, I kinda wished it had appeared on the Dreamcast, where I believe it truly belongs. Also suffers from hard to read text. Damnit.

Earth Defense Force 2017 – As a pretty big fan of the PS2 original, I eagerly awaited the chance to play the next-gen iteration. And… other than some shinier graphics, it?s more or less the same exact game. Oh well. Still not bad by any means.

Burnout Paradise – I have no idea why I gave this game another shot, given how much I hated it the first time I played it. Cuz I’m just a hopeless Burnout fanboy at heart? Anyway, it still fucking sucks. I just hate how you just can’t fucking race with the simple touch of a button, but you have to drive around to find one… God, talk about making things unnecessarily complicated. And the DJ keeps getting worse, and worse, and worse. But holy shit is the game pretty.

Dynasty Warriors: Gundam – Mixing DW gameplay with giant robots and animu? How could I resist. Though I downloaded it mostly for Katie, who was a MAJOR Gundam Wing fan, back in the day. I found the game to be… just like what I played, oh so many years ago. Still, it?s very pretty.

Need For Speed: Carbon – I guess the only reason why I wanted to try this one out was because I’m in such a Tokyo Drift state of mind. And its certainly fun, but again, not sure if I would ever invest that much time into the full version.

Iron Man – As a diehard fan of Ol’ Shell Head, all I can say… what a piece of shit.

Pac Man: Championship Edition – I was actually somewhat blown away by this one; Namco has managed to do the impossible, or at least something they’ve been trying to do, what, almost 30 years now? And that’s to add life to the classic game.

Ikaruga – Hey, I’m just glad it got released in the first place, though once again, I would MUCH rather have Radiant SIlvergun.

Trigger Heart Exelica – I actually really dug this game before, so I’m glad its getting a proper release on these shores. Hopefully more stuff, like Border Down. Under Defeat, and hell, maybe even Karous will make it over.

Space Giraffe – I gotta say; I fucking LOVE this game. I think most of the hate stems from the fact that people were expecting, and wanting, another Tempest, and this game most certainly is not (despite it even saying “THIS IS NOT TEMPEST!” right up front). Not to say I’m any good at it… I’m actually quite bad, and am seriously stuck on stage 10. But then again, its as hardcore as they come, and its supposed to overwhelm and confuse the senses, as Jonathan Blow already explained at the GDC. Definitely one I’ll be playing for a while.

Sonic Redux – I don’t know why I gave this one another shot. The Sonic level that was presented was not horrible per say, but I already know the rest of the game sucks, primarily the Silver levels. I also can’t help but think back and laugh at the time myself and the rest of the Nick Mag crew checked it out originally, and was told of the super secret story-line revolving around this new character, and how we guessed it in like two seconds, and the look we all got immediately afterwards. Good stuff.

Sonic 1 – The Genesis original. And almost 20 years later, and how many more bits later, no one can still emulate the Genny’s sound chip.

TMNT Arcade – It’s nice to play the original…. man, I can’t tell you how many hours and coins were wasted, back in the day…. but not only is that border surrounding the game annoying, but seeing maybe 3% of it, because its not properly fitted for a standard definition set is even worse. Thanks Ubi Soft.

Project Gotham Racing 3 & 4 – I’m counting both since both game are pretty identical. In the sense that each offers an awesome arcade racing experience, with spot on controls, and AMAZING visuals. It also helped to dispel any linger thoughts in my mind, planted by Ridge Racer 6, that high-def graphics will naturally look dark and muted on my television. I want to get one, but can’t decide. It all comes down which one does NYC better; part 4 has the slightly superior graphics, which makes sense, but from what I’ve seen, part 3 has more of a blue, blue skies vibe, if you catch my drift.

Dirt – OMG, the front-end is MIND-BLOWING. Seriously, best interface ever for a racing game, and one of the best for any game created. I could seriously masturbate to this. And the actual game is not that bad either.

Sega Rally Revo – It’s a dramatic improvement over the PS2′s 2006 edition. The graphics are nice, as is the controls… pretty lose, almost sloppy compared to Dirt, but that’s how Sega Rally has always been. Yet, it retains none of the personality of the first two games. Pass.

Grid – The latest game from the creators of Dirt looks to be all that, and more, except instead of rally racing, its pounding the pavement (I would imagine that the death of Colin McRae had something to do with the change in focus). Can’t wait!

Rez HD – Well, what else needs to be said? Everyone knows how I gay am for this, and it is indeed the definite version. I guess the most important thing that needs to be stated is how, yes, it still looks good on my SD set (and better than the PS2 version… though everything is a little bit smaller, since its letter-boxed and all).

… There were also a number of Arcade titles, mostly junk from PopCap and the like, all of which are not even worth mentioning, though I do know that Omega Five is awesome, I just haven’t had a chance to give it a shot. Though I did download N+, and honestly don’t see what the fuss is about, but am going to give it another shot later on. I’ve also downloaded a bunch more demos, like Devil May Cry, and that RPG where you play Chopin, plus practically just fired up Blue Dragon, so more to come.

Though I do want to say one more thing, about all the racing titles I just mentioned. Even though I am an video game racing fanatic, though of the arcade variety, perhaps its sacrilegious for me to say this… but then again, perhaps it has to do with my tastes. I personally don’t mind those games being 30 frames per second, whereas some won’t touch anything that’s less than 60. Every one of the titles offered ultra silky smooth visuals, which is what counts the most, and I’m sorry, but you have to be a fucking ace driver to really need 60 frames instead of 30. I will agree that perhaps for a diehard simulation its necessary, though everything I’ve listed are for the most part arcade racers (though Grid seemed rather realistic). Then again, Virtua Racing’s 30 fps was good enough for me, so I guess I’m used to such “lower standards.”

REVIEW: We Ski

Despite the Xbox 360 getting some heavy use in its first weekend, the Wii has seen some action as well. Last week Bandai Namco was in town to show off… various games that I’m not supposed to write about, due to an embargo I signed (though I have seen several folks break it, here and there… not going say who and rat anyone out… or I could be completely in the wrong, so I guess I’d better check and see if its okay to go on ahead). Though there was one title that I was given the green-light, because it actually came out in store that day. That being We Ski.

I had seen We Ski at the GDC as the one lone third party game to utilize the Wii Fit board. Needless to say, I was shocked to hear that the game had come out before its peripheral, till I discovered that it can be played without one. Anyhow, I’ve been playing it all weekend with Katie, and…

It’s a lot of fun! Seriously. Okay, let’s get the negatives out of the way, the stuff that most of the reviewers, not surprisingly, have gotten on its case about, or used as the basis of dismissal. First off, it ain’t the prettiest game in the word, and I didn’t need an entire weekend’s worth of drop-dead gorgeous Xbox 360 games to tell me this. Its not horrible per say, and actually has a quite of bit of charm. Nor is it the longest. There are nine courses in the game, all of which are connected and instantly accessible. So you can literally see all the major sights in the first 20 minutes. But that’s not the point really. It’s to offer a fun, relaxing ski simulator, which We Ski does hands down. This is achieved via the following…

First the controls. It’s super simple and super accessible, but that’s not to say that it’s flat-out easy; there is some technique, and while anyone can instantly hit the slopes, to properly maser all the terrain, you have to practice. There is “Ski School” in the game to help grasp all things one can do, and several challenges to flex those skills. All throughout the slope are folks who ask you to participate in challenges, or just folks who just want to say hello. I personally have never been skiing, but Katie has, who played We Ski alongside with me every step of the way, and she noted how somewhat realistic the game is to a certain degree. Aside from the handling being fairly true to life, another is how there are constantly other folks on the slope, who sometimes smack into you at the most inopportune of times. Those wondering how it controls, basically, the Wii-more and nunchuck handle steering and speed. Balance is done automatically, unless you have the Wii Fit board, and thrown into the mix, the game is all the more fun (and challenging).

The graphics, while nothing spectacular, not only dues the job, but has a real charm to it. You can use your Mii naturally, and half the fun is not only dressing up yourself in various snow attire (as you play and do well, you opening up more outfits and skis), but taking pictures of yourselves, either speeding down the slopes, or just posing for fun (again, locales and the such are also unlocked). Again, its all rather whimsical and totally charming, with excellent sound effects and pleasant music to help complete the package; all throughout, the resort blasts assorted Namco tunes, such as stuff from Katamari, Ridge Racer, and even Pac Man, plus others I probably don’t recognize (like Taiko Drum Master I would have to assume).

I know Wii Fit has its own skiing mini-game (and no, I don’t have mine yet), so I can’t say if it’s inferior or superior to the game at hand, which I would assume has a little more meat onto it. All I can say for certain is that it’s by far one of the most enjoyable casual games for the system, bar none. Once again, this is by no means a hardcore skiing simulator; sitting down to dominate the game is just not the right mindset. It’s just a nice, casual, relaxing affair, perhaps best taken a little bit at a time. Nor is it exactly a party game, in the sense that Wii Sports or Wario Ware is, meaning it’s all going at some crazy break-neck pace (though I bet it is extra fun to play while drunk). As I said, Katie has been skiing for real, plus she’s also put in some time with the game solo, and has this to say: “I just realized something… I’ve skied for over ten years, and I’ve had far more fun than this game. Real skiing often times sucks!” So yeah, be sure to give this game a shot.

… I just wish I could pass along the pics of Katie and I, in-game, but there seems to be no real way to export shots taken, with the exception of simply passing them along to friends via the Wii message board. Unlike in Brawl, where on can save shots to an SD card. And speaking of, Dave’s long awaited Brawl review is coming up very soon!

The World Is Yours

And last night I got a chance to spend some hands-on time with LittleBigPlanet, the very eagerly awaited puzzle-platformer for the PS3.

Like I said, I got a Xbox 360 instead of a PS3. Why? Well, it all came down to the games; I composed a list of all the games I wanted for the 360, and one for the PS3, to figure out what I wanted, and while I had close to a dozen or so for Microsoft’s machine, I had, what, maybe three or four for Sony’s? And pretty much everything was either already available as a PSP downloadable, or simply has not come out yet (nor even announced, at least in the case of whatever Team ICO is working on). I had heard about LittleBigPlanet, but didn’t know too much going in, such as why I should be excited. But afterwards, I can certainly understand why some folks are.

I only played a small section of the game, what you see above. Much of LBP is still a mystery; Sony wouldn’t explain to me what the general plot was, plus there were other sections available, but they wouldn’t show me (nor anyone else). I can only speak about what I know firsthand: you control these little dolls, which are ultra customizable. Not only can you choose its color, and various accessories, but you can even slap a picture of yourself or whatever via the PS3 camera. You can even choose its mood; you can make it happy, sad, angry, or scared looking, and to varying degrees. They run back and forth, and also jump around, plus hanging on to stuff. The first thing one will notice, aside from the absolutely beautiful graphics, is the amazing physics engine. Everything just moves, flies and falls very nicely.

The core gameplay is that it?s a platformer meshed with a puzzle elements strewn all about, with a heavy slant towards multiplayer action. Players must both compete and work together, to not only get to the goal, but also collect as much stuff along the way. Again, much of the action is based upon all the stuff that happens with the physics engine, and half the fun is grabbing a buddy to either help or screw them. It’s too hard to explain how things are set-up, plus I naturally have yet to see everything, but from what I’ve witnessed, there is an excellent balance of being able to be greedy, but having consequence to pay, and conversely, not getting too screwed in the end.

The other major selling point, aside from the physics, is the creation aspect. When I was first told that it creates a new genre called creative gameplay, I simply had to roll my eyes, since games have allowed players to make their own stuff for years now. But never to this degree. With the game is a very robust level creation editor, the same one the developers are using themselves. After some platforming action, I got to engage in a simple, yet fun, jump rope mini-game, which was completely designed via said editor. In addition to creating the look and feel of the environment (for example, one can lay down solid blocks, or ice blocks, or fire blocks, and they even interact with other… put fire next to ice, and steam is created…. though the ice block does not melt away, so its not that through), but the physics as well. This is about as far removed from Super Smash Bros Brawl’s rather simplistic, even without comparison, level editor as you can get, and is practically a game upon itself. The possibilities, simply put, defy comprehension. And the best part is, folks will be able to share their creations online with each other… this will be BIG.

Though it’s not perfect. I can’t criticize too much since its still in development (plus if I’m too harsh, Sony will get pissed at me… again), but I found the controls of the characters to be lacking. I know they want to emphasize the wacky physics, which means things should move fast and slippery, but the constant falling off the edge all over the place got pretty old, and would be pretty frustrating in heated, head-to-head play I would imagine. As for the level editor, as awesome it promises to be, it’s also not for the faint of heart. There is a tremendous learning curve, which even the folks from Sony admitted there to being. For example, to sculpt the level is to place a block, and then to place a part of the cursor inside of it, which actually cuts away at the block, like in Illustrator. Not knocking it, just stating that, once more, Brawl it ain’t.

Oh, and afterwards, I got to check out the PixelJunk Eden, which looked, in a word, astounding. Again, I’ll gladly take the very stylistic, envelope pushing titles found on the PSN over the mostly shovelware-grade PC crap that’s found littered throughout Xbox Live Arcade any day. Though perhaps the most interesting thing I heard was something that made me even less interested in getting a PS3; apparently, Everyday Shooter is coming to the PSP! When I asked if this was major news, I was given a curious response of “Kinda…” Whatever that means. But yeah, finally!

Takeru Kobayashi: The Game

And also finally, earlier today I checked out Major League Eating: The Game. Some might recall me getting very excited about a game starring that God amongst men, Takeru Kobayashi, in a video game. Well the folks behind the game decided to promote it at the Nintendo World Store earlier today, by having a real life showdown between two pro-eater, Tim ?Eater X? Janus and Crazy Legs Conti. The food they decided to wage battle over with? Watermelon.

Unfortunately, I totally forgot my camera, but managed to get some shots with my Nokia N81, though I think the videos I nabbed were more interesting, so I might load this up later. But since I want to wrap up my originally scheduled Monday night, weekend wrap up post before it officially hits Wednesday night, I will mention that Tim ?Eater X? Janus sported face paint, making him look like the Ultimate Warriors cousin, the one who doesn’t wrestle, isn’t roided out, and probably works at a Target. He’s apparently the newly crowned Sushi eating champion of the world. Crazy Legs Conti. Conti on the other hand is known as the ?Evil Knievel of the Alimentary Canal.? Anyhow, it was fun to watch, since both dudes reminded me of wrestling, with all the theatrics and all. Oh, there was another pro-eater, some big fat black dude whose name I don’t recall. He did a little rapping for the crowd before the big showdown.

But since it wasn’t watermelon, the chance for some big disgusting scene was not that high. Not unlike, say, hot dogs; if one person had lost it over dogs, it would have been a real scene, but watermelon? I guess just a big pile of red goo, which I guess is gross nonetheless. In the end, Conti won out by literally just a bit. Afterwards, they both went head to head as their virtual selves in the game. Speaking of, it looks… okay I guess. Definitely a downloadable title. You use the Wii-mote to emulate whatever food you’re eating. You also have to be mindful that you don’t eat too much, otherwise you’ll puke for an instant lose, which is what happened to Conti, who tripped up at the very last second. Oh, and you can do farts to overpower the other player, and sometime initiate a game of hot potato, which is what one would imagine it being… with literally a hot, explosive potato.

Though the big surprise of the day was getting a chance to check out Moon, an FPS adventure game that Mastiff, the publisher of MLE, is also developing. It was super early in development, but what I saw was extremely impressive. But again, I had better wrap things up…. a reminder, next time, Dave’s Brawl review! And after that, I finally review Perrsona 3 FES and Arcana Heart! Yes, it’s review week! I guess.

3 comments

05/13/2008

Grumpy Old Men: The Video Game

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve done a long-ass post about mostly video games, right?

Not Enough Pixels

So the very first batch of WiiWare games finally went on sale yesterday. And… gotta say, after all this waiting, they’re a bit of a let down. Mind you, I say this as someone who has yet to actually play any of them. I was going to nab LostWinds, the best looking of the batch (as well as the one that most people have downloaded… and from what I’ve heard, it’s pretty decent), but the problem is… and I might get flack from some people when I say this, those other might totally be in the same boat… I just don’t have enough room on my system for the 200+ blocks its supposed to take up, And yes, I can simply erase the VC games that are taking up all that space, and just re-download them later. But… I just don’t feel like going through all that busy work. I could also simply move them to a SD card, but anyone who has already tried doing that will tell you, that shit is SLOW.

As for the other games available, I’m kinda interested in Pop, though the asking price is a bit high. I guess that’s why I’m also interested in Defend Your Castle, simply because its the cheapest of the WiiWare titles. As stated already in the forums, the really random price structure is yet another confusing aspect to the whole thing… I still have no idea what WiiWare is supposed to be all about, what the real focus or expectations are. But the all over the place pricing might be an indication of Nintendo letting the game creators calling the shots, which is a good thing. Let them succeed, as well as fail, on their own accord.

And as also already stated, I was really hoping that one of the titles would try to go for something retro and look all NES-like, since it’s clear that people still love the look and sounds of yesterdays, and are willing to try something new, or at least something they missed out on originally. Perhaps something that’s actually new and original? But then again, it probably ain’t gonna happen for several reasons. Which totally bites of course. Plus, instead of getting a “new” SNES game, I’d much rather having Starfox, thank you very much.

Back to the current crop of games, you also have that Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles, and I just find it hilarious that I still have no fucking clue what that game is supposed to be. A RPG? An action RPG? A strategy game? A puzzler? Though in any case, I’ll just wait for Ousama Monogatari/King Story, which not only has a stellar developmental staff, including folks who worked on Harvest Moon, Final Fantasy 12, and Super Mario RPG, the first one for the SNES, but sorta feels like Pikmin.

When Is Enough, Enough?

Though at the moment, I’m just too busy with the games I already have on my plate, like Persona 3 FES. I’m digging it for the most part… as stated previously, I totally love the high school simulator part, which involves juggling study time, hanging with friends, flirting with girls, going to sports practice, and staying involved with student council. As for the combat, I generally enjoy that part as well; it’s nice and simple, plus creating Personas, which are these entities that reside inside your body that your force out to do battle demons by putting what looks like a gun to your head, though isn’t, and pull the trigger to “evoke” them (when Katie first saw my character blow his brains out, but not, she simply replied with “God this game is SO Japan” and she’s right) is actually lots of fun. But I’m getting to the part where all the grinding is getting to me, so unless there’s a major plot development sometime soon, I might have to give it up. Even though I did promise Atlus a review, and I try to keep my word…

Yet some might say that I’ve played enough to write one up. I beg to differ; as foolish as it is, I still believe one must play a game all the way through to review it. Something that many modern game reviewers state is all but impossible, given how long most games are, and the tight deadlines everyone has to deal with. I?m not saying that reviewing games is the hardest job in the world (and when reviewers act like it, I can?t help but roll my eyes and say something), but it is rather tricky.

Back when I was reviewing games for GMR, I made it a point to complete every single game I was presented, and I’m happy to say that I did, all except one, which was a Romance Of The Three Kingdoms title for the PS2. But those games, aside from being about 300 hours long anyway, are also totally not my cup of tea, and it took me forever to get where I got, whereas someone who knew what they were doing could have probably gotten there in one fifth the amount of time. Though for the other games I did manage to finish, they also happened to be primarily action based games, which aside from being my thing, can be completed in just a few sittings.

Though some are being to feel that reviewers maybe don’t need to finish their games. But I will say this: if I was certain a game was brilliant or crap in the first five minutes, enough to believe that no further play was necessary (especially in the case of something crap), I was afraid something might happen at the end that would drastically change my opinion, and I just didn?t want to look like a fool. Thing is, this NEVER happened.

But if I do end doing a review for Persona 3 FES, and don’t finish it beforehand, you can be sure that I will state that fact quite clearly. And that doesn’t mean that I’m going to do an official review of GTA IV, at least based on just the few hours I spent with it last weekend (Dave asked if I was going to do one). Though speaking of reviews and Dave Mauro, his long awaited Super Smash Bros Brawl review is almost done! So expect that later this week, or early next.

Oh, and speaking of Persona 3, for those who are interested, here’s the opening movie for part 4. Hopefully it’ll make it over here. Though I have to wonder what the PS2 market will be next year. Everyone knows that the PS3 has not been the stellar success that many (well, Sony) predicted it would be right out of the gate, but it is building steam (despite the fact that it’s difficult to make games for it, hence why the PS3 gets the sub-par version of any game that also comes out for the Xbox 360… cough*cough*cough*GTA IV*cough). Speaking of…

To PS3, Or To Xbox 360? Again, Those Are The Questions.

I’ve stated this in the past, though I’ve tried not to make a big deal out if it, since it’s pretty damn embarrassing, and it’s only getting worse: I am still without a 360 or PS3. Yeah, and I call myself a video game reporter, right. Believe it or not, but I have to thank GTA IV for finally opening my eyes to the fact that I can no longer comfortably game in this day and age with just the PS2, Wii, DS, and PSP alone. That and hearing Dave point out that I have a ton of 360 games, just collecting dust. So the question is, naturally, which one?

The simple answer would appear to be the Xbox 360. Why? Because it has the most games at the moment, though not all of its exclusives are stuff I necessarily dig. Halo 3 is awesome and all, or so I’ve heard… again, not my thing. Hey, but there’s also Live Arcade, right? Well, as much as I joked about how I would get the system the day Rez HD come out, the truth it, without a HD set, I’m pretty much fine with both my PS2 and Dreamcast editions. And aside from that, plus Ikaruga and Trigger Heart Exelica, both of which I already have for the DC, and Geometry Wars, which I also already have for the Wii, there isn’t much I really care for in that area. Plus, I’m not much of an online gamer to being with (though the idea of playing GTA online is pretty salivating… till I remember how I can’t control the fucking thing, probably never will), I still hate the idea that you have to pay to do so, and am also still annoyed that WiFi isn’t built into the machine. Oh, and there’s also still that whole 30% hardware failure thing too. And here comes the real issue: as some might have already heard, a brand new version of hardware is supposed to be released later this year. It might come out in August, though maybe as late as November. For the hard info, simply click here, but basically, this new iteration of the hardware will have smaller chips and a better cooling system, which should translate to no red rings of death. So I’m not too keen on the idea of buying a system that could be busted, especially with something better just down the road. But November is a long time away…

Meanwhile, there’s the PS3. And as much I fucking hate Sony and the PS3, and its inferior versions of games, as well as its gimped controller (which will be rectified in just a few weeks once the Dual Shock 3 comes over here, I know), the system does manage to do a few things right. Like how it has cooler downloadable games on its PlayStation Network, though I’m also well aware of how Everyday Shooter is now available on the PC via Steam, so I no longer have to fight the urge to blow $500 on a $10 game. So that just means I really have to get a PC now!

Then there’s… wait for it… Metal Gear Solid 4, the real reason why I all of a sudden desperately want a PS3 like right NOW. Well that and Jason recently got one, not for the game really but to be a media center; aside from playing Blu-ray movies, which I could care less about, Jason is also able to view all the stuff that he downloads from the net, and that’s something that does get me all hot and bothered (for a while I tried watching all that stuff on the go, and thought about getting an iPod Touch, but that was before my renewed “FUCK APPLE” stance, and using my PSP ain’t much better… sorry folks, but watching movies and junk on a tiny screen fucking bites, there’s no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it).

But yeah, MGS 4… I don’t know why I give a shit, I just do. I loved the first one to death; aside from being ground breaking, it was simply damn fun to play, whereas part 2 I found to be a chore, and literally got stuck halfway through because I didn’t have enough rations at the point of no return. As much as I want to check out the batshit insane, breaking the fourth wall storytelling, I just didn’t feel like starting over. Then you have part 3, which everyone also loves and adores, and for good reason: the game was simply what worked from before, just bigger and better, and all the nonsense of part 2 set to the side. Yet for whatever reason, I just couldn’t get into it. Actually I do; it was too difficult. Yeah, I know. I guess I’m also still pissed that the camera system was modified, to accommodate all those whiners who can’t deal with the traditional MGS camera, and want fucking Splinter Cell. Weak sauce fucks.

And despite the fact that part 4 looks to be the most complicated installment yet, and how the just revealed opening trailer hasn’t instilled me with that sense of “HOLY SHIT” that the trailers for parts 1, 2, and 3, as well as the first ones for 4 have done. But the word is, via the first real review from the UK, probably Edge, that it’s pretty amazing, with the stand-out comment being that it completely answers every single lingering question and mystery from the entire series. And I totally love stuff that wraps everything up, stuff you didn’t even question or knew about, as well as just revisiting the past with a modern eye. Hence why this flashback trailer has gotten me frothing with anticipation.

EDIT: Okay, here’s a not too bad recent MGS 4 trailer that I somehow missed the first time around, one that’s not so Hollywood, which is my main beef with the most recent one. Though the interesting part here is how there’s elements from the past, but as you can see here, stuff has been quietly updated…

At the very least, every MGS game brings with it a whole slew of cool shit, such as a line of shirts at Uniqlo

I guess I should maybe mention the big controversy that’s going on between Kotaku and MGS creator Kojima, which is the latest “OMG, Kotaku is teh suck!” topic over at NeoGAF. I’ll let everyone make their own minds on this particular issue, though I’m only mentioning it to point out because it is yet another example of how stuff gets lost in translation/the problems that arise when a game maker becomes a game spokesperson/basically cultural differences between America and Japan, i.e. “they” tend to be more humble and playful, and “we” then to be more in your face and take things way too seriously. Otherwise, and am by no means hopping on the hate train… seriously!

And once again, at the risk of losing indie cred, I will openly admit to liking Kotaku… or at least certain parts of it. Okay, I only really go there for the wacky links to stuff, like this Japanese blog featuring the gamer set-ups of wacky Xbox 360 lovin’ Otakus

… Mostly whatever Michael McWhertor stumbles across and posts, like this totally awesome Street Fighter 2 music video, as well as the head’s up on a totally amazing looking fan-made Metroid game that’s in the works. Sup Mike.

Though back to the PS3 and MGS 4, in the end, it won’t be MGS 4 that forces me to get it, just as Everyday Shooter hasn’t really been, but whatever new game from Team Ico. That shit will be fucking insane, no doubt.

Is This The House Of Tingle?

That’s not to say that I’m totally ignoring my Wii… Far from it! Though I will admit, I’m playing less and less of Smash Bros, if only because playing online with Dave is too much of a struggle since he’s just too God damn good! I have returned back to Super Mario Galaxy, and am currently trying to get all 120 stars. Also recently fired up Super Paper Mario, which if fun and all, but Jesus, is the pace ever slow as molasses. Didn’t pick up Mario Kart Wii, since I’ve never been that huge a fan of the series, which is weird considering how gay I am for Mario and racers. And I guess it was a good movie, since everyone seems to really hate the game. Too bad… Also, count me in as yet another Nintendo faithful who can’t wait for the headlines that Wii Fit has become the top selling game in the country, and the screams of all the diehard gamers, in unison and in total agony.

Another game that I passed up on…. well, if you can call it that…. is Link’s Crossbow Training, if only because of Miyamoto’s recent comments that reveal how he wanted at one point to make it all Terminator-style time travel wacky (that and how he thinks Zelda should be a FPS).

I Also Still Love My DS, The Wacky Jappy, Insert Credit, Mega Man 2, and Michael Jackson.

I’m also still totally into portable gaming, even though I don’t have to commute to Jersey everyday, meaning I have to make time around the apartment to catch up on DS and PSP softs. I’ve actually been keeping a closer eye on the import scene, such as English of the Dead, which one can actually demo online

Then there’s the recently unveiled cover for Doki Doki Majo Sinpan Duo, which is the sequel to that game in which one has to “inspect” the bodies of junior high girls, to see if they’re a witch, by poking and prodding them with the stylus…

… As you can see, there’s some x-ray action going on, and the lack of nipples makes this game even more WACKY JAPPY than before! Good job Japan! And btw, I finally picked up a copy of the first game via eBay (I just made some quick cash by selling my iPod Nano… again, I’m in total SCREW APPLE mode these days, more on this next time… so I guess wait for a review coming soon).

Next there’s Yajoukeiji Toukyou Doujitahatsu Tero Chinatsu, or Wild Detective: Tokyo Repeated Simultaneous Terrorism Suppression, according to Insert Credit, which is where I first saw mention of the game. You can check out hard hitting, crime fighting with big hair action via the video found here.

Also via the IC, for those who don’t frequent there as much as they should…

- On the DS homebrew front, not only is there a DS adaptation of a comic book, but one of Snatcher!

- If you’re into shumps, you might be interested to know that there’s a new video for Otomedius, though most people (well, Dave) finds the whole thing absolutely boring (whereas I’ll simply play anything with -dius at the end, sorry). And yes… there is yet ANOTHER Dreamcast game coming out, this one by the same folks who made Last Hope (I know), called DUX. And sorry, this one doesn’t look very hot either I’m afraid.

- Haven’t had the chance to screw around with it, but a Phoenix Wright story creator/editor was recently linked to, and which I’m sure folks will want to check out as well.

- Remember that Mega Man music/YouTube meme from a while back, the one revolving around the Dr. Wily stage 1 song from Mega Man 2? Well here’s another one, this time involving Air Man from the same game. There are countless variants, naturally, thought this particular vid has perhaps the most sight gags, pound per pound (I especially dig the Super Paper Mario parody).

The funny thing is how these kinds of things tend to morph, like this one about some guy not being able to finish hentai games, with English subtitles included!

… Meanwhile, I didn’t find this via the IC, but simply stumbled across it; some might recall those super wacky Flash cartoons that has the King of Pop vs. the entire Famicom universe, with some folks from Street Fighter mixed in. Well, I might have linked to this previously, but if so, who cares… the trilogy is now complete!

Also, be sure to check out the rest of RSF’s work, including the still amazing Sega Fantasies.

“I’M PRESSING CHARGES! I’M PRESSING CHARGES! I’M PRESSING CHARGES! I’M PRESSING CHARGES! I’M PRESSING CHARGES!”

Meanwhile, here’s just a few of the highlights from my own neck of the woods, starting with video games. Even though I’ve hit all the major ones, like WiiWare, there’s still a few topics to touch upon, such as…

- When bullshitting on one’s resume goes a little too far.

- Hey, check me out bitching about some video game girl’s tattoo, one that you never even see on screen!

- Note to self: I still need to come up with something wacky to fill those word balloons.

- And speaking of Sonic… Sonic 2 HD anyone? Anyone?

- I guess I care about Spore a little bit more now.

- According to the movie thread, Iron Man is Steve Jobs, Donnie Darko 2 is on the way, and Goku, of Dragon Ball Z fame, is a guido?

- If you’ve got some weed, and a human skull handy… why the hell not?

- The childhood rape thread is all sorts of good stuff, including numerous folks arguing whether childhood really sucks, all stemming from Ace Ventura 3.

- It’s hardly a surprise to see Scrooge McDuck on the list, but once again, Jed Clampett and Gomez Adams?

- The font game proved to be pretty popular.

- Let us not forget the perils of clubbing it up.

- His name is Bill Truong, and he is not 50 Cent, and he is destroying Flickr.

- The awesome random pictures thread has been particularly awesome as of late…

- And the random video thread has also had a number of true gems as of late, such as this ultra, insanely creepy Dutch TV host, an old clip of Bill O’Reilly losing his shit, classic music videos starring Kano and Jan Terri, plus the most awesomest crazy, gangsta girl on a train, bothering poor passengers video EVER.

- If you live in Queens, do you want the squirrels to live…. or DIE?!

- And yes, cell phones are turning us into huge babies.

- Henry Miller on New York City.

- Oh people from Brooklyn…

- And, oh NYU…

- Plus, I know this is so wrong to throw hate on, but I’m pretty sick of the city’s anti-smoking ads with the woman with all the missing fingers.

- Meanwhile, over in the Secret Chanmber, we have not only one, but two Soul Cancer threads! For better or worse.

- Hey look, Man Babies

- And over there, people who are into insect sex.

- Via the random blogs thread comes… human breast milk?

- Dear Charlie Manson…

- In case I haven’t made it clear, Iron Man was AWESOME, and most people agree… well, almost.

- Finally… hey, that’s a big pickle you got there kid!

… Meanwhile, as for what else is going on… not much really. I’m currently dealing with a very nasty cough, which is why there’s both no boxing nor podcasting this week. Hopefully my doctor’s visit tomorrow will uncover something. Perhaps if I miraculously get better by tomorrow afternoon, I can then choose between either spending tomorrow night watching Dr. Strangelove in glorious HD at movie night, or getting my first real taste of D&D with Stephen Glicker. Otherwise, I can finally hit that large stack of Iron Man books I got yesterday.

Oh, and Namco is in town tomorrow, so I might get a chance to check out Soul Calibur 4!

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