06/10/2005

“I can?t wait for Q-bert to show up with a script.”

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

- So I didn’t go to the chip tunes show on Wednesday night, and I had to miss last night’s synesthesia thing at Eyebeams (which is a real shame since I so wanted to hear someone fax philosophical about Rez that actually had credentials… hopefully George was able to make and can fill in on the details).

But hey, at least my Threadless order finally came in yesterday! They just had a huge sale where every shirt was ten bucks, so I got one for Dave as a birthday gift, one for MK, and a few for myself, including the brilliant Darth Loves Gardening t-shirt.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: for a guy who hates Brooklyn so much, what’s the deal with me now dressing like one? What can I say… a cool shirt is a cool shirt, and if emo hipster-fags dig them too, there’s not much I can do about that. They pride in taking over and ruining whatever’s cool and interesting by “making it” into their own, and I’m not going to squelch my affinity for wacky shirts that’s been around since I was five.

And at least I’m wearing some shirt that cost $5 back in ’85 but cost some retard in DUMBO $45 at some trendy vintage clothing shop. That and playing in a kickball league. Plus, I’ve known about Threadless way before Wired covered them, due to my YayHooray connection, so that’s that.

BTW, Dave and Raina share the same birthday, and this is what I ended up getting her.

- On the subject of Studio Ghibli, I forgot to mention a whiles back that there’s a Miyazaki and Takahata retrospective going on at MOMA.

I missed the premiere of Howl’s Moving Castle on Monday night, and I might have to pass on everything else due to all the stuff going on this month. Plus the eight or so movies that I already have tickets for in the Subway Cinema film fest (and counting).

- There’s a ton of movie news flying about as of late; I know that Goonies 2 was rejected by Warner Bros, which I think is good news since I, like most people with brains and taste, are sick of Hollywood pissing on the legacy of classics by creating shitty sequels driven by easy nostalgia-tinted money.

- I also know that the Watchmen movie got its plugged pull by Paramount, which I also think is not such a bad thing. I generally don’t mind translations from comics to film or television and any changes that might come about, but the reason why Watchmen is so utterly brilliant, and is still to this day in mind the ultimate comic book (though note that I didn’t say it was the best ever), is because it tells a story and themes revolves around a subject matter thats is inherent to its medium by utilizing almost every facet of its form to its advantage, to the point that the same story could not be told any other way, both dramatically or even sensibly so.

Basically a movie, no matter how big the budget or how long would not be able to recapture the essence, and Watchmen is truly not some ordinary super hero comic. Plus I also hear that the script was pretty bad, with many characters not being true to form. Then again, that’s hardly surprising since I doubt any studio will green light a movie where one of the main characters is a guy who’s totally blue and naked for most of the story. Perhaps a girl, but definitely not a guy.

On a side note, you wouldn’t believe how disgusted I was to find out that the majority of my cartooning class at SVA hadn’t read Watchmen (and this was like final year too). I mean seriously, what the hell?!

- Then there’s the Simpsons movie which is finally happening. Great. Sorry but no Conan O’Brien or Brad Bird means no sale for me.

- This is sorta old news, but I totally missed it the first time around, but thanks to (coworker) Steve, here’s a rundown of all live action Transformers film thus far. And Jesus Christ does it sound like a mess.

I guess it’s turning into one huge clusterfuck thanks to the movie studio, the script writer, and Hasbro the toy company not being able to agree on anything. I know I just said that I don’t generally mind changes during translations, and even though I was pissed with the idea of Soundwave not being a boombox, I could still somewhat begrudgingly understand. But a fucking helicopter?

- Last night I was talking to Rob, and he seems to be the only other person on earth, besides MK, who has even heard of Mike Judge’s new movie, which is about a guy who wakes up in the year 3001 to discover that he’s the smartest person on earth, but only by default since everyone has gotten so stupid at that point. I didn’t know till this Rob mentioned it, but Luke Wilson is going to be in it, which totally kicks ass.

- And its seems as if Robert Rodriguez’s new movie The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl might be being facing a lawsuit by the real Shark Boy himself.

He’s a indie pro-wrestler who’s been going by the name Shark Boy for sometime now and is trying to stop the film from hitting theaters (a bit late I’m afraid) and owe up to copyright infringement. Considering how the makers of Monster cables went around suing everyone for using the word monster, including Disney for Monster Inc, and actually won, I think Shark Boy might just have a chance. And as retarded as frivolous lawsuits are, I’m actually a fan of Shark Boy and sorta want to see him win something.

- So Microsoft is still having trouble selling the rights for the Halo movie, mainly because Microsoft seems to be annoying the fuck out of everyone.

On Monday they sent a guy dressed like Master Chief, the game’s main character, to each movie studio with a script in hand (which was written by the guy who wrote 28 Days Later for one million dollars) and had the studio’s executives read the whole thing while the guy dressed in the space marine outfit waited in the lobby. Afterwards they were told of MS’s demand, which are pretty crazy even by the standards of Hollywood execs.

My favorite quote from one of the less than impressed studio staffer: “I can?t wait for Q-bert to show up with a script.”

- Speaking of games and movies, here’s some of the latest released for the PSP:

Hey, that’s cool and all, but the ratio between games and movies for the PSP is starting to get embarrassing. Though I have to admit, its nice to see some genuinely good stuff get on the platform (especially this one), and not just stupid Michael Bay action crapfests (even though the PSP owners who are in it for just the movies is the ideal audience sadly).

- Meanwhile, on the DS, a system which is seriously looking better and better every day, here’s a new movie for New Super Mario Bros. The game looks totally hot; I’ve been wanting a 2D Mario game with 3D graphics since forever.

- While still on the topic of Nintendo, here’s a totally awesome looking GBA game from the makers of Pokemon called Screw Breaker.

- Something else I forgot to mention before, but was reminded of since word just came out that its being pushed back to August, a shooter/RPG by the name Sigma Star Saga.

First a shooter/fighter, now a shooter/RPG. Where’s the shooter/dancing game? And I’m serious.

- And while still on the topic of Namco, for those who haven’t seen it, here’s the cover to We Love Katamari Damacy:

I love hearing how in this new game, the King of Cosmos will not only berate you for messing up but he’ll shoot lasers out his eyes. Plus you can even dance around to avoid them!

- This in from insert credit: Sega has a new cell phone game out that’s actually from Segagaga, the simulation game in which you ran Sega that came out for the Dreamcast in Japan (and I title that I’ve obsessed with for some time now). The Sega Saturn is actually an end boss. Oh man…

- Finally, it seems that absolutely no one knows about or has heard of LVHRD, that ultra-?ber hipster secret society. Either that or no one’s talking…

Anyway, that event on Monday night that I mentioned which I though about crashing but didn’t, simply because I had much better things to do, was an undies only video game competition, and here are the pics. So they had it at Barcade, the arcade/bar in Willamsburg, a place which I have done my best to avoid. Now you see why I find these folks so insufferably annoying?!?!

And for those of you who think its immature to make fun of people online, or giving them attention in the first place, all I can say is that I’ve had a super stressful week and right now I feel like goofing on dipshit hipsters in their underwear. Nuff said.

Anyway, catch you at Joe’s art opening/the Meathaus party/MoCCA/the BBQ this weekend!

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There’s like a billion things going on and I’m officially overwhelmed. And with so many things to attend to, why not waste some precious time with another (hopefully brief) entry?

- As a freelancer, I’ve done jobs and have gotten paid by a wide variety of clients. Everyone from SpongeBob SqurePants (Nick Mag) to some creepy Sopranos-esque ex-Mafioso type from New Jersey (for a flash based dated sim for young girls… its a long story). Now I can add Larry Flint to the list.

Yup, I received a check from the man behind Hustler, Barely Legal, and Oreintiails (God I fucking love that name) late last week. Why? Not many people know this, but in addition to the hundreds of porno publications Flint puts out, there’s also one solitary video game magazine. That magazine? Tips & Tricks, which recently asked for permission to reprint one of the photos of the AVS I took a few weeks ago. So look for it in their Retro Corner section (my fave part of the mag BTW) in the July issue next month.

- So all of sudden interest, I have quite a few friends taking an interest in my art. In addition to folks like MK wanting me to get back into comics, there’s Joe who recently suggested that I gather some of my cartooning buddies and have them illustrate some of my stories, which personally would be totally awesome. Then there’s my roommate Stephy who just saw my more fine arty stuff from SVA for the first time and now she wants me to get back into that again. It was suggested that I paint all of the walls in one of the bathrooms with my stuff, which sounds like fun…

- Speaking of comics, the MoCCA art fest is finally taking this upcoming weekend. Like every year, I’ll be there the whole show, and this time I’ll be lending a hand to MK at her table. It’ll probably be the hot ticket in town yet again, which means an abundance of awesome books. Though unfortunately it also translates to a poorly ventilated building packed to the gills with people, and everyone’s sure to be getting all sweaty and stuff, especially since it’s finally hot and sunny out (and though thank God, I was getting pretty sick of the constant rain, and I’m a guy who grew up in Washington state). At least the weather will be perfect for the BBQ MK and I have planned for on Saturday night for the friends that’ll be town.

- Unfortunately, Todd Webb more than likely won’t be attending due to a recent car accident, though hopefully the Adventures of Pete & Pete DVD that MK & sent as a get well gift will keep him in some good spirits. But at least Farel will be back in town, which is always a cause for celebration. Hell, I’ll probably even stop by the Meathaus pre-MoCCA bash on Friday night despite my rather…. tenuous relations with the outfit. And hey, Mu Wen should also be there to help tear shit up.

- But before all that, and just around the corner (which is also where PixelJump HQ resides), I’ll be attending the opening reception party for Live Fast, a rock and roll clothing shop which commissioned Joe to do artwork for, both outside and all inside the store. It’s been Joe’s main project for the past weeks, hence why I haven’t heard from the guy in a while, so it’ll be nice to have a chance to plan our Coney Island visits face to face.

- But that’s not all for this week! On Wednesday is another chiptunes event at the Knitting Factory. You can find all the necessary info right here. This I’m gonna try my best to catch this one since I really haven’t heard any of the performers, aside from Bit Shifter. On Dan Deacon’s site there’s a hot dog with cowboy boots on and a cane, so consider me a fan already.

… Oh real quick, props to Brian at click-stick for passing along some YMCK mp3s this weekend!…

- Plus on Thursday is a panel discussion on synesthesia at Eyebeams. I’m always interested in hearing about the subject, but I’m most interesting in finding out what Dr. Eugenie Shinkle, a “game theorist of Sega?s Rez/K-Project Lecturer in Photographic Theory and Criticism, University of Westminster ” has to say.

- Back to MoCCA, I really should be saving my money for the show since I know I’m going to be spilling a good $150+ on books, minis, and maybe a few shirts. But its been struggle holding onto my cash with the big Play-Asia summer sale going on. The worst is battling the need to pick up obscure PSone imports which I’ve been told are shitty but are still enticing due to concept alone. I mean, when’s the next time I’ll get a chance to purchase a sky diving simulation?

Though its not just comics and video games that I have to worry about sucking all my cash…

- Its that time of year again. My most favorite time of year actually. No, not MoCCA, but the Subway Cinema’s Asian Film Festival is finally here.

I’m a pretty big film enthusiast, but I’ve barely gone to the theaters this year. At this point last year, I went to the theater about 30-40 times (no joke), but for 2005 its been less than half a dozen. Well that all changes this month; I’ve gone through the schedule and have more or less decided upon the films that I have to see, and with so much good stuff this time around (each year the fest gets bigger and better), I’m looking to spend about $100 on tickets for myself alone.

On that list of stuff to see…

“a handicapped version of Taxi Driver”

the real deal Godzilla beat the shit out of that fake-ass US phoney

some 9 year old girl being haunted by a 60 foot tall doppelganger

some down and out boxer who lets people punch him in the face for a full minute or two for just $10

that mix of FLCL and Who Framed Roger Rabbit that I mentioned before (actually more Waking Life than Roger Rabbit now that I think about it)

some med student who’s homework assignment is to cut up a cadaver, which happens to be his dead girlfriend

the Filipino equivalent of Spider-Man….

and a movie where “love means never having to kill your wife more than five or six times”

- And speaking of movies, I just found out that K.I.T.T. in the upcoming wasn’t going to originally talk. Seriously, WTF?!?! I hate to jump on the bandwagon, but God bless David Hasselhoff…

… By the way, want to know the reason why I’m screwing around not doing real work? Well I’m at SVA, and my office is normally an icebox due to the super strong AC, which has made me wear a sweatshirt at all times, even when it was a nice comfortable 70 degrees outside. And all of a sudden doesn’t work, and on the day that we really need it. So it’s like 90 in here and I’m too tired and sticky to do any real work. Good times…

- One final thing… ever heard of LVHRD? Forget MySpace, screw Willamsburg, fuck those annoying kickball teams that are popping up all over Brooklyn; there’s something even worse. Much worse.

Doing a Google search will only reveal small bits and pieces of this ultra secretive, coolest of the cool, trendiest of the trendy sect of art-farty hipsters in NYC which have been described as “part private club, part flashmob, part creative salon, part social experiment”. Basically, its pretty much the ultimate embodiment of everything that I hate about people in my generation/in my field of interest/in my geographical area/in general.

So anyway, I won’t reveal the specifics, but I’m in possession of the fine details regarding their upcoming event, which is a strictly invite affair, and takes place tonight. And I’m seriously entertaining the notion of maybe crashing the party. What do I have to risk? Looking like an asshole? HA!

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06/01/2005

Celebrating The Past

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

I did a little of everything this past Memorial Day weekend: I barbecued a bit. Slept in a bit. Downloaded some music, read some comics. MK & I watched a movie (Shaun of the Dead on DVD), and an episode of Trailer Park Boys. Went to Chinatown since MK needed a replacement cell phone strap, to replace her KISSING TIME one which she got in one of the trinket shops a few months back (MK ended up getting a Tetsujin strap). Also went to Jersey City to have dinner at Jason’s, where him and MK finally got to sit and talk (they met at my birthday party, but with so people and things going on, they didn’t have much time to chat), plus Jason’s wife Christina got to meet MK as well. I also had lunch with MK’s dad and dinner at a diner with Robin.

In fact, I even drew a bit this weekend as well. Sometimes I forget that I have a degree in cartooning, and for years now Dave has been imploring me to do comics. Now it would seem that MK has taken up the case. As I’ve said before, I used be shy about drawing because I was unsure of my skills, and even though that still somewhat exists, now I genuinely don’t have much time for it, though the interest is still certainly there (dating a cartoonist I guess will do that). Even though it is true, that I have a shit load of material, all based on the crazy women I’ve dated, brushes with deaths, and other various stupid situations that I’ve found myself in (or created myself), all perfect fodder for a bio comic, I’m still hesitant. Why? Maybe cuz I think there’s just too many bio comics out there already, most of them rather whiney and emo-ish. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some good books out there, and even the stuff that I don’t like is often drawn very nicely (much better than mine will ever be). But still, I’ve pretty much had my fill of stories of disaffected childhoods and everyday isolation. Yeah, people/girls/guys/being poor/life sucks, no shit sherlock.

Anyway, the reason why I’ve stayed away from doing my own is the fear of contributing to ever-growing mountain of mediocrity. But I have to admit, when I was asked me to draw some of the weirdos I went to high school with, it was hella fun, plus MK & Robin really dug them as well. So I guess I’ll have to venture forth into the land of bio comics afterall. At the very least it won’t be the same mopy, depressing shit that you see everywhere these days; there ain’t gonna be any poignant insight or social commentary from my comics, maybe a few examples on why not to act like a retard. As for my drawings, Robin mentions that MK might scan and post them up, which would be neat.

Also…

- MK & I also did some holiday shopping, mostly at Jim Hanley’s, which had a 30% off sale. We spent $100 collectively at the Jim Hanley’s sale, $50 each, which is lower than I expected (MK could easily blow thrice as much if she could). Got Project Superior, along with the collected Same Differences, which should be a good read since its apparently about a Korean going back to his roots, and I’ve recently been bitten by that bug. Plus I finally got the Dark Knight Returns and Superman: Red Sun, which is about what happened if he crashed landed in Russia instead of the US. I was shocked, and quite pleased, that MK read the whole thing in one night and thoroughly enjoyed it. Meanwhile I read her copy of Hicksville, which was really good.

- Also did some DVD shopping and I’m pissed that I didn’t get some X-Files when I had the chance; each season went on sale for $50 each at Best Buy (down from the normal $100) a few weeks ago, but I didn’t get any since I saw somewhat low on funds and didn’t want to put myself in a tight spot. But I ended up getting paid early and by the time I went to the store, season 2 & 3 (easily the best ones) were all sold out. I’m also pissed at eBay since I have about six or so other DVD sets all in limbo even though they’ve been good and paid for.

God I miss the golden days of eBay, when it used to be regular people selling stuff and positive feedback was evenly distributed. That and how most of the stuff being sold was actually intersting, and often genuinely weird (none of that made up shit, like time machines or grilled cheese sandwitches with dead people on them). And I’m very proud to have been part of it all, having made a small fortune selling Mr T Chia Heads, chocolate frogs, and Pokemon cards from Burger King kids meals (Dave supplied for me the good which he got through Nick Mag, and we split the profits evenly). Plus there’s all the cool stuff I got, like the Celine Dion toilet brush.

Now its all these stupid eBay stores where its impossible to get an answer cuz you don’t know who the hell you’re talking too, plus there’s a million steps involved (well to do anything really, especially selling which is now a total pain in the ass). And these stores, since they’re apparently always busy handling tons of sales, never bother to leave any feedback when you pay on time, yet they’re more than happy to beg for it on their end.

- But what I’m most pissed off about is BitTorrent. For those who don’t know, it’s the latest thing in downloading illegal stuff. Unlike previous methods where you got something from one central source, BT relies on everyone downloading the same file simultaneously, by grabbing small bits from the source, than sharing them with each other until you get the whole thing. Those who end up with the whole file is supposed to then allow others to continue leeching off them so they can form their own complete copies. It’s sorta like communism in the sense that it’s a great idea which doesn’t fucking work.

I was recently invited to be a part of Oink, a super exclusive music torrent site (torrents are the files that handling all the downloading and the such). I used it off and on for the past week or so getting various albums and the such. And now I’ve been banned. Why? Because my ratio for downloading and uploading was uneven by their standards. There’s a thing… call it a thief’s code I suppose… where one should always keep their torrents “open” for others, for the reasons described earlier, which I did, but it just so happened that no one was leeching off of me. I guess the stuff I downloaded wasn’t of much interest to others, which is really strange considering that I got everything from popular stuff (Weezer, Beck) to less popular stuff (De La Soul).

I suppose I shouldn’t complain since I got stuff for free, but I just find it funny how elitist such communities can be. I mean, you’re basically distributing illigal shit, so how holier than though can you really act? Besides, wasn’t I cool enough to be a member since I was able to get an invite in the first place? Oh well, at least I did get some good stuff. Speaking of…

- Not is the soundtrack to the Life Aquatic one of the best most picture soundtracks I’ve heard ever, and easily some of the finest work from Mark Mothersbaugh, but its the perfect album to listen when weaving in and out of gridlock traffic in the middle of Manhattan.
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- Once again, not much to report video game-wise. Things are so dead that people are still bitching about how boring E3 was. Though there is plenty of fall out to keep track off, such as how folks from Microsoft have had to publicly call bullshit on Bill Gates claim that halo 3 would be ready on the day PS3 launches (hell, even folks from Bungie have been vocally pissed). And now its been 100% confirmed that those PS3 demos everyone saw at E3 were not real, though it hardly comes as shocking.

But the real interesting news is how all those old NES, SNES, and N64 games for the Revolution might be free to download. If this is true, that would be fucking fantastic. But until I hear it officially from Nintendo, I’m not getting my hopes up. And no offense to them, but I have no idea who this Gamesradar folks are, and how reliable their info is.

- And one last bit of GDC backlash: remember all those HD TVs that MS gave away to attendees to help “sell” their vision of the “HD Era”? Well it seems that no one got theirs, leading to many to bitch that it was all some PR stunt.

But then today, Joel showed off his brand new set that just arrived.

- Here’s some more BS about the power of the upcoming consoles as reported by the mainstream press: the Xbox 360 will be powerful that the Chinese will buy them to control their nukes, according to the BBC. So with the PS2 it was Iraq, now with the 360 its China. Nice.

- Sticking to the subject of 360, here’s an interview with Tomonobu Itagaki, head of Team Ninja and creator of the Dead or Alive, which ends on a sorta funny note (him getting pissed off).

- And speaking of Dead or Alive, I’ve been playing DOA3 and Ultimate fairly regularly, and while enjoying it, I’m having a tricky time getting into, all because of the controller. I don’t know why

- But the real big news that everyone’s been talking about today is that porn on the PSP is finally here

- Found this on YayHooray of all places: here’s a tree illustrating the evolution of the video game controller. It’s pretty interesting visual representation of how things have changed and where certain facets have taken their cues from. There’s a few missing here and there (where’s the Japanese Saturn pad?), but otherall its solid.

Oh, and for the record, the Genesis 6 button pad will always be tops for me. Most comfortable controller ever.

Also, check out the author’s own idea of the Revolution pad…

… I found it to be a bit underwhelming at first, but after looking at it carefully, I really like it and wish it was real.

- I hope no one minds me pimping Gamasutra, but here’s a super interesting piece about video game patents from the perspective of lawyers. It’s actually quite scary.

- Finally, time for another YTMND, this one for Super Mario RPG. God I love that tune.
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What’s happening in the rest of the world? Damned if I know. Other than Deep Throat’s secret identity being revealed, I only know about the possible Breakfast Club reunion for the upcoming MTV movie awards. I have to admit, I’m interesting in seeing this.

As for the award show itself, I used to love it as a teenager, since it was the perfect mix of two things I loved, movies and MTV, plus there was plenty of SNL stars to be found (back when the show was still consistently good). But gradually became bored and even annoyed with it, like the rest of the network. I often wondered if the show (as well as the rest of the network) got lamer, or I just grew up. Though the more I think about it, the channel really did go through some change back in 96 in which its now just this thing that tries hard to be cool instead of being the center of i, which it was a good solid fifteen years.

Real quick, speaking of lame and movies, here’s a totally awesome Episode 3 review. Ever word is pure, unadulterated fact.

And I recently found yet another reason why I have to go to Japan: the Studio Ghibli Museum. Before I die, I have to see this in person…

EDIT: For some reason, even though I uploaded today’s entry earlier this afternoon, it didn’t show up till a minute ago. Anyway, may as well add one more thing that I forgot from before: this weekend I finally showed MK my infamous Apple Head comic strip from college. And as someone asked before, yes, I do write for a children’s magazine.

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