08/11/2005

Relax (That’s What The Doctor Says)

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

So I finally went to see the doctor today. For a while now, I just haven’t been feeling very good. Mostly my stomach has been killing me, to the point that my appetite as been all wiped out. I figured that it was an ulcer but thankfully its not that serious. So what’s the cause? Apparently, its stress.

At first I dismissed it, but then I slowly realized that he was right; this summer has been real hell on me. It’s a combination of things really…. its been a super busy summer, the punishing New York weather this time of the year, the usual lack of sleep, not enough exercise and a poor diet (I’ve been more or less chained to a computer for months now, plus my planned exercise regimen from early in the summer was prematurely squashed as well). But its mostly due to the simple fact that I’ve been spreading myself fairly thin, which I always do, though I guess I’m just getting old.

Plus I’ve been really cranky as of late, with tons of things just getting to me when they shouldn’t. Again, I always get pissed off easily, and hell, friends even get a kick out of it sometimes (like my public tirade against crazy old people when on the way to dinner which MK & Robin seemed to get a kick out of) but perhaps I’m allowing myself to get too excited these days.

But I can’t help it! There just seems to be more and more stupid people on the streets everyday. I was gonna do a list of the types of folks that annoy the hell out of me on a daily basis, but even a semi-comprehensive list would take me forever to compile, and I really have better stuff to do (even though I do think it could be pretty funny). Maybe later.

Anyway, I’m going to take my doctor’s advice by trying to take it easy and relax a bit more. Though unfortunately I have far too many commitments that need to be met, so just blowing them off and walking away simply is not an option. But I think ultimately, I’m just a bit frustrated that I am not able to do some things that I really want to do. And its often brought up by others. The other day while at the main building at SVA, I ran into an old film instructor of mine, and he asked, “So when’s the next movie?” And he’s right, when is the next movie? Even though I hardly tell anybody, I really miss filmmaking. I know it’s probably foolish to chase after nostalgic, college-era feelings, but I do believe I have a certain knack for it. I recently discovered that a friend of mine is going to finally start work on a film based on his script and I have an opportunity to work on it. And as risky as it might be to just drop it all here and run up to Vermont for three months to film “The Lawrence of Arabia of killer dwarf movies” (his description, not mine) I find myself sorely tempted.

Then there’s comics, such as when Chris asks where Johnny & Julia vs. the Sun is, like earlier today. But on that end, I am working towards getting back into the groove, via the anthology of course. That’s yet another thing that I shouldn’t be making myself busy with, but hey, I’m having fun thus far (especially try to choose which artist should do which story, or realizing that someone whom you didn’t have in mind for a particular tale might in fact be perfect, and all that jazz). I found out last night that Farel unfortunately won’t be able to contribute because he’s booked solid over with previous commitments well into next year (and some of which sound damn exciting). Farel felt really bad saying no, though he shouldn’t since I totally understand, but its disappointing nonetheless. But I still haven’t emailed all the people I want to, plus folks like MK and Katie keep reminding of other potential stories (like an awesome one involving tons, and I mean tons of cockroach legs).

Also, I test out the latest build of Spready Bear yesterday and that’s coming along excellently. I hope to have at least one demo level ready for the next IGDA demo night, which no one really knows about actually; things have been super quiet in the New York game dev community all summer. Though on a weird coincidental note, I did run into Wade from Large Animal on the street last night and he said something about mid September.

Otherwise, I’ve been just busy work, work, working, with little time to screw off (so I gotta wrap this up), and there’s not much happening in the world of games, other than word of EA is distributing Katamari 2 in Europe, Princess Crown coming out for the PSP (that’s one less Saturn game I have kick myself in the ass for not getting when I had the chance), and someone creating the ability to run Doom on an iPod, there’s not much gaming news to speak off. I also found a film online of a guy having sexual relations with a pig, but it seems to be genuinely scarring to those I’ve shared it with, so maybe I won’t be passing it along right here (but those who really have to see it… contact me).

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08/09/2005

These Are The Days…

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Ever have one of those days were NOTHING works? On my end, let’s see…

- My internet mysteriously went dead sometime last night, meaning I wasn’t able to send out some rather important emails before heading to work (plus some torrents went unfinished, obviously). And I woke up too late to spend any time troubleshooting to figure out what might have happened.
- Internet at work is acting spotty, which of course only happens when I actually need to do work (hence why I’m wasting time bitching about it).
- I can’t access my fort90 webmail due to the aforementioned spotty internet, plus my site host’s webmail sucks dick.
- And without email, I can’t follow up on a Gama piece which is getting close to the past due date.
- I just realized that I have a meeting with a Nelson to talk about Spready Bear later tonight. I scheduled it early last week and totally forgot about it when plans for a meeting with NYU came up. Please I still have to talk with Katie about her anthology piece(s) later tonight as well! Plus I can’t send her the necessary notes due to, you guessed it, fucked up internet!
- And I can’t do anything else related to the anthology with the other folks because: A) MK has all my notes, and she can’t fax them to me cuz B) my job’s fax machine is borked for some reason.
- Also messed up is my voicemail at work, so I can’t access my messages.
- I can’t hold a single conversation on my cell phone due to really shitty reception or dropped calls left and right.
- My tooth, which I somehow messed up on Sunday night, is still sensitive and I can’t see a dentist till tomorrow.
- I know I’ve bitched about eBay before, but I forgot to mention how the overall eBay experience suddenly becomes 20 times more annoying when video games are involved. I’ve dealt with numerous types of goods, like movies, comics, and toys, both as a buyer and seller, and almost NEVER have problems. But when it comes to video games, those who sell are always extremely lazy when it comes to shipping things on time, and forget about buying anything used because everyone treats their media like total shit, with scratches all over the place and caked on sticky residue that I don’t even want to think about. As for selling, no one wants to pay what they owe and are always filled with transparent excuses. So anyway, I won some Dreamcast controllers (transparent green ones to match the green color shell I already have) over a month ago, but the guy never sent them. So I asked the guy what the situation was and since then we’ve been passing messages back and forth. Before he had the rather “oh gosh, I don’t know how that could have happened” attitude going, but now it’s the oh so pleasant “guess they got lost in the mail, sucks to be you dude” tone. And considering he doesn’t even fucking remember me or have any records, I’m sure that he just fucked up and is covering his tracks. Cuz he’s… you guess it… one of those annoying “eBay power seller” douche bags. You know, if I wanted to deal with an impersonal, insincere, jack-assed salesman like attitude, I would have gone to Best Buy or GameStop directly.
- Also last night I spilled ice tea all over some books I got this weekend. :(
- Lastly. and I don’t know how the fuck this happened, but now there’s cockroaches in my house!

As what else has been going on? Stuff I guess…

- Saw the Island with Marc on Thursday, it wasn’t that bad really. It wasn’t necessarily good, but for a Michael Bay film it was surprisingly decent. Bear in mind that I’ve only really seen one other Bay film, and that was Pearl Harbor (which I only saw because I was dating a total psycho at the time, and would choose to see films that I knew was going to suck, like Crocodile Dundee in LA ,just for the two hours of silence from the girl that the movie would afford me). And why see the Island in the first place? Aside from both the director and the screenwriter’s involvement in the upcoming Transformers movie, I’ve always had a thing for Scarlett Johansen. And the only real reason why the film was even tolerable was because of actors that can actually act, such as Johansen and especially Ewan McGregor.

- On Friday night MK & I bummed around Jersey, mostly just hanging out at the Barnes & Noble near her place. In addition to figuring out which of my friends and other interested parties would be doing what for the anthology, I got Johnny Ryan’s second Angry Youth Comix collection and the first volume of the Battle Royale manga, both of which would become ruined in the aforementioned ice tea spill.

- After a rough Saturday afternoon humoring her parents, MK & I went to the boardwalk on Point Pleasant to play skee-ball the rest of the night. Gotta say, we’re pretty damn good at the game, so we scored tons of tickets, which was cashed in for a slew of gliders, kazoos, and parachute soldiers. No spider rings or super bouncy balls this time though.

- Sunday was a birthday party for Rich of the Beer Drinking Fools. We just mostly sat around and talked, though there was much fun had overhearing his trailer park trash yell and scream at each. Joe is filming a music video for BDF, so he had June’s camera on hand to catch some action, and he even shot the beginning of the vid which I’m a part of (I play some annoying hipster at a party that gets punched in the face). The only shitty part of the evening was a corn chip that I bit down in a wrong way which led me to believe that a filling had fallen out. Now I’m not too sure… there’s a spot that was never “finished” (I had a root canal done back when working for Ubi, but never got the job done cuz when the studio shut down, I lost my dental insurance, so I’ve been walking around with an uncapped tooth ever since) and has always been susceptible to possible damage… but nothing technically fell out and everyone says that there shouldn’t be any bleeding. Guess I’ll find out soon enough.

- And last night I saw March of the Penguins with Dave and Raina. There’s nothing much to say other than, if you really like penguins, and the idea of watching an hour and a half long featuring nothing but penguin sounds good, then the film is right up your alley.

As for gaming news, all I know is…

- World collided the other day, specifically the worlds bullshit driven political agendas and shitty game journalism, when Jack Thompson called for Killer 7 to be reclassified because of what he read in its review on IGN. So funny on so many levels… Hopefully some good will come out of this via generating some interest in the game.

- BTW, here’s some email exchange with Thomson and a 14 year old boy, and not surprisingly, the 14 year old does a better job of stating the facts. My fave quote from Jack? “While you gamers are all autostimulating yourselves with hopefulness that all of this is going nowhere, I’m in the current Reader’s Digest and working with US Senators. You all ought to be concerned.”

Autostimulating?

- Here’s a site that lets you create your own fake Nintendo Revolution controller. Perhaps the best one I’ve seen thus far hails from the GAF:

- So the Penny Arcade guys are getting their very own collectable card game. This is by far the nerdiest news of the whole year, and that’s with all the hoopla that Star Wars, Firefly/Serenity, and the very looking Superman on the horizon has already generated.

- Just found out that Treasure’s new DS game is based upon Bleach. I’m not familiar with the anime, but the game sure does look nice (there’s a definite Last Blade vide going on there).

- Sony has a new puzzler on the way, developed by the folks who did Wild Arms and Sneakers (yeah, that mouse game for the Xbox from a whiles back) and it deals with triangles and all that jazz. Its called Mawaza and you can check out the trailer here.

- I forgot how I came across the following… I believe it was during a discussion for The Movies, Peter Molyneux’s latest game… and someone brought up this somewhat similar title; it’s called Wet: The Sexy Empire, and it sounds like the Movies, but with… you know… porn and stuff. Remember, if you ever say “Someone should make a game where…”, try to remember that at least someone has already tried it.

- Meanwhile on a somewhat related note, and on the IC boards, someone brought up the obscure Super Famicom gem Photograph Boy. Basically you play a photographer that has to take pics of wacky things and people as they pop up. Here’s a page that has some good info but what everyone really should see is the Quicktime of the game’s whole play-through, which I’ll have to ask the person who has it for permission before linking it (I don’t want to rape the guy’s bandwidth).

- Also from IC comes this Craiglist ad for the a rare Nintendo “Super Chair” which is basically a huge controller for the NES.

This reminds me of the special chair/controller that Nintendo designer for paraplegics. There was a chin-strap to control movement like a joystick and a straw for the button inputs; you sucked on it for the A button and blew into it for B button. The cynical types all say that its creation was purely motivated to off-set the bad press Nintendo was recieving at the time, such as the advent of “Nintendo thumb”.

- 1UP just posted a fairly interesting read to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the Sega Saturn. Never has a title for a piece, in this case “The Pleasure and the Pain” been so appropriate. And to this day, I still have to say that I never enjoyed gaming as much as I did when I was playing a fighting game where my guy, which was a racing car, was getting trashed by my opponent, who was playing a large duck with bombs.

- And finally, EA recently added two new players into their upcoming Madden 2006: the President and his brother Jeb, the Governor of Florida. As its been already noted, seems like EA just wants even more reasons to be hated.

I can’t figure what’s worse: having the George Dubya or Jaime Kennedy in your video game?

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08/05/2005

Class Is In Session… Or Is It?

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Well the “Matt Hawkins Anthology” is officially under way. I contacted the first wave of cartoonists earlier this week and there’s already a solid group of folks that I’m pretty psyched to have on board for the project. So as I might have mentioned before, a mini featuring the work of three or so stories will hopefully be available later this year at SPX.

On the video game front, that email from the woman representing clients looking for adult games turned out to be bogus. It was just some bullshit service call, like Jason suggested. We played email/phone tag for a while which culminated in the following conversation:

Woman: “Um… hello?”
Me: “Hello.”
Woman: “Hi… I’m Blah Blah Blah from Blah Blah Blah and we represent clients from a variety of fields, introducing them to potential partners…”
Me: “Yes, you mentioned that you know a party that’s interested in adult oriented web games, right?”
Woman: “Um… yes. I represent many different parties, all with various interests…”
Me: “But you said in your email that you specifically had clients that wanted adult games for the web. Who are these folks?”
Woman: “… I represent many different parties via out network…”
Me: “Is this is a sales call?”
Woman: (silent for about ten seconds) “… Our network can…”
Me: “Listen; first off, I am NOT interested in your service. Second, if I get any further unwanted solicitations by phone, I will know who they’re from and report you to the proper parties.”

Then she just hung up. And since then I haven’t gotten any other sales calls. Though the amount of spam in my inbox has increased exponentially since then, and I really don’t think its any coincidence. So anyway, no JizzMoppa 2 for the time being, sadly.

Oh also, I forgot to mention that the fall session of my History and Exploration of Game Design class is now open for registration. You can get all the necessary info right here. Though to be perfectly honest, I have to wonder if it will even take place…

You see, this past summer session never ran; I didn’t have the necessary amount of students signed up. Does that mean that no one’s interested in learning how to make games? Nope, cuz there were other game design classes that were offered this summer at SVA, two others, and they both ran, with plenty of kids in each. So I guess just my class wasn’t popular. Why? Well the answer might get me it hot water, but basically…

Video games are pretty popular right now, as everyone knows. What used to be looked down upon by virtually all parents is now starting to be held in high regard, at least with those who see their child making a possible career out of them… and I mean a highly successful career, with much money involved. No where is this belief more evident with colleges across the nation which are pushing this rather misguided message pretty heavily. So many schools are now offering courses in video game design, but the problem is, most have no clue what video game design actually is.

One route that many are choosing is by showing students how to modify an existing game, such as Unreal Tournament, since it has a level editor and the such, and calling it a game design course. But the problem is this is not game design. This is game modification, which is completely different. There are elements of design in modification, of course, but that’s like saying you can learn everything you need to know about filmmaking from just editing one film. Its really not the same thing. And is often the case, there is no in-depth look at the theories and philosophies behind game design, let alone any meaningful discussion of the history. Mentioning Pac Man and Mario the first day of class alone just does not cut it.

My class on the other hand addresses all these missing, yet extremely important aspects. Hell, there’s no actual programming involved, its all just analytical thinking and discussion; I simply introduce and layout the basic groundwork of what makes a game “a game” and have them all explore the various elements via exercises. One actually has them go beyond the realm of video games via the creation of board games and other forms of interactive play. My attitude is that if you want to make a game, any game, you need not just a love for the medium but a proper understanding of it, both historically and instinctually.

But at the end of the day, kids don’t want to sit around and learn why a video game “works” or how to make a board game, they just want to blow shit up, hence why the quick and dirty, and easy, game mod classes are so successful. And since the colleges are making so much money, which should they care? Especially when students are so happy to fork over the cash and go away very happy with the experience. Again, and I’m sorry, but there’s only so much one can learn from modifying a preexisting game, let along a first person shooter. My biggest concern is what’s going to happen in the next few years when the job market is cluttered with so called game designers who won’t be able to create even the most rudimentary of games, at least ones that don’t have a first person person perspective or blowing things to pieces. Not to say I’m a jack of all trades, but I prided my ability to design whatever game in whatever genre when I was working as a designer full time.

So is the educational sector in regards to games totally doomed? Na, I just find the current climate extremely frustrating for a person such as myself, especially in the position that I’m in. But I am working on ways to change this, even at SVA; there are now plans for me to teach a game creation workshop next year, one that will be divided into two parts. The first will concentrate purely on design, which I will be overseeing, with the same things covered in my regular class except pared down and more concise. And the second will have the students taking everything they’ve learned and applying it towards the creation of an actual fully-functional game in Flash via another instructor. I’ll details regarding this, and other things, in the future.

Oh, and some quick bits of gaming news:

- A new, and I’m guessing final, version of the American Katamari 2 box art was just unveiled and… its not so hot.

Everyone seems to positively hate it, while I don’t mind it that much, I certainly liked the first placeholder one much better (which I really wish I kept a copy of), even a tiny bit more so than the Japanese original. Though hopefully it won’t deter box art snobs from picking up the game (I’m guilty of being a box snob, though only when it comes to avoiding the Greatest Hits version of any given game).

Luckily the general audience won’t really care, though now that the price tag is $30, ten dollars more than the original, its expected that the sequel won’t do nearly as good. Granted, the insane amount of critical praise certainly helped to make it the sleeper hit that it was much, but it was mostly the cheap price of admission really.

Though personally, I would have absolutely no qualms paying $50 for the game.

- Here’s something that’s been spreading around like wildfire on gaming message boards after it appeared on G4′s Attack of the Show (which means they probably got it from the GAF): an application which emulates the boss intro from Mega Man 2 whenever any other application is launch in OS X. Hey, if you’re a Mac person and big time Mega Man, like myself, you’ll love it… for like five minutes, after you’ve launched all your apps for in that amount of time for no real good reason.

- Hey, I love seeing prototype hardware. Well here’s some pics of Dreamcast protos that some guy on the GAF passed along.

Reminds me, I finally got a replacement DC case for the one MK passed along, which was somewhat beaten-up up from her brother, the original owner. It’s translucent green; I wanted blue, but couldn’t find one anywhere… gee, can you guess why it’s such a popular color? Anyway, I’ll try replacing the case this weekend, but I’m afraid of screwing it up somehow. Its sort of an irrational fear, which I wish I could get over, cuz its the only thing stopping me from adding a mod chip into my PS2 myself, which would alleviate a ton of headaches.

- Meanwhile Insert Credit just recently posted news of a hand-held Neo Geo.

- And someone on the IC forums finally shed some light on the reasons why Super Mario Bros for the arcade is different from the NES version. For those who don’t know, some parts are much different, with far more creative and fun levels in spots (wheras in the home version, certain levels just recycle previous levels). If you don’t believe me, fire up Vs. Super Mario Bros in MAME and see what I mean. Anyway, I always assumed that it was done to make the home version easier, or for perhaps reasons related to cartridge space.

But it was actually pointed out that the home version came first, and the arcade version second, with stuff added in, to make it more difficult and less repetitive! In a sense, the arcade version of SMB is almost like a “director’s cut.” Well mystery solved!

On a side note, I really wish whoever followed the same forumula when creating the Japanese version of Super Mario Bros 2, or Lost Levels here in the states. Besides being extremely repetitive, its waaaay too difficult.

- Jiji pointed this one out, and it’s about time that some porn games for the DS started showing up. There’s even a mini-game on the site that gives you a bit of a taste, though it’s nowhere near as sexy as this (NSFW people, and I mean seriously).

Because its from Tecmo, the first thing one might wonder is if its from Team Ninja, makers of the oh so sexy Dead Or Alive series, which Tecmo publishes, but they’re not, as far as I can tell. Though I think Team Ninja’s head honcho Igataki has been quoted as saying that he wants to do a DS game eventually, something for the kids. I’m guessing DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball for Kids, with gratuitous diaper shots.

- The word is that production on Shenmue Online has just been halted, for anyone that cares. Though what I want to know is what the hell is Yu Suzuki up to these days?

- Finally, an 80 year old woman has her sights on reclaiming her world’s record for the highest score in Q-Bert. And what’s the best part of all this? The man, Billy fucking Mitchell, is in her corner! I feel almost compelled to make a trip to wherever just to see history unfold…

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