05/06/2007

“the fundamentalist or obsessively charmed by the sun”

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Man, its been another good week for the internet…

Video Game Link-A-Rama

So over at SelectButton, when folks realized that there was a bunch of threads on the same subject matter, April was declared official Super Mario Bros rom hack month, though its spilled over to May, and continues to go on. Some highlights include…

- SMB’s Minus World, which is different in the Famicom Disk version (I forget if I linked to this before, since I know I’ve already covered Mario hacks in the past, like the super insanely crazy one from not too long ago, which seemed to be what kicked off interested across the board), including this detailed explanation behind how and why they work.

- Both a Super Mario Bros 3 and Super Mario World level editor, which helped to produce Super Demo World.

- Super Mario Bros 1 with random garbage added to the rom.

- The Deconstructulator, which I previously mentioned around here.

- A video for Super Fagot Brothers.

- An interview with the brains behind what is considered one of the best hacks of all-time, Mario Adventure, as well as a look at an early one called Mario Seasons.

- A wacky combination of Super Mario and Metroid called Wart’s Invasion.

- Here’s a screenshot from Star Remix, which has you playing the role of the star, in more ways than one, in a very puzzle-oriented hack. Its super hard (it took me forever to figure out how to get past the first room, I’m talking like twenty minutes), but its good.

I’m also currently looking for Balloon Marion, Mario Had Died, and Speedway Mario. The final one I absolutely have to get my hands on, ASAP, due to the description provided by one of the biggest reservoirs of classic gaming I’ve ever encountered online at IC/SB/TGQ (and at one time really hated my guts!) dessgeega:

“… it exults in the chaos of objects and enemies rebounding madly across the screen. everything’s had its speed cranked up: mario’s running jump is higher, koopas fly across the screen when stomped, mallets stream from the hands of hammer brothers, and you’re under a constant barraged of super-fast bullet bills. things behave unexpectedly: as you go to jump a goomba, the goomba jumps and kills you instead. power-up mushrooms fly into the brickwork and get lost. it is madcap, and pretty hard. you have an infinite stock of lives, though, like in super mario forever. and it’s an amazing thing in motion.”

There was also another hack that was mentioned, where Mario fought the slimes from Dragon Quest, but it’s been lost due to SB’s falling Axe.

- Oh, remember Garbage Day? Even if you don’t…

- Though the meatiest of all the SelectButton threads is this one, which began as a quest to find a copy of the aforementioned insanely hard hack. It’s really all over the place… aside from including a link to Cory Arcangel/Paper Rad’s Super Mario Movie… as well as download links to tons of other Mario hacks… its just filled to the brim with confusing back and forth as to where the hack is from, and from when, and by whom. I believe at one point, this video gets linked, which isn’t from the same game, but its still worth checking out.

Also, the words “Jinsei Owata” are mentioned, and I really don’t know what the hell it is, other then possibly being that shitty Transformers game for the Famicom.

In the end, someone managed to find more footage from the game, as well as find out the name: Super Mario Forever. I actually put them over at my YouTube page for SB, and they can be checked out here. Expect a brand new post from SB that tries to put all the pieces together soon.

- Meanwhile, over in Japan, crazy kids are taking the first Wily’s castle track from Mega Man 2 and adding lyrics and making it a rock song. Here’s a whole page that has YouTube links to a bunch of them, though this one might be my favorite due to the vaguely death metal-ish growl during the chorus. Actually, don’t bother with that first link: here’s that same song again, along with footage from Idolmaster, which pretty much sums up why I absolutely cannot wait till the end of this month.

Oh, and this semi-techno-ish iteration with girls is kinda hot. Plus here’s one featuring a Pink Power Ranger for some reason.

- If you like blasting zombies, this is the game for you.

- But if arty-farty nonsense is more up your alley, then this one’s for you. As someone at SB put it best, “it’s tough to enjoy this shit when you’ve been through art school.”

- Want to know what the most pre-ordered game in Japan over at Amamzon.co.jp is? It?s called Dokimajo, and you basically touch girls’ breasts to find out if they’re witches or something. Here’s the box art, which kinda illustrates the mechanic:

- Apparently Thunder Force 6 was recently release as a doujin shmup, as Broken Thunder (the game’s subtitle since day one really), and it apparently sucks! Apparently someone at 2chan called it “the Japanese Daikatana”. Ouch.

Here’s a vid of it in action, and… yeah, it kinda looks lame.

- Meanwhile, something far better is on the horizon

- And here’s another shmup, one that’s coming out for the DS! Looks FAR better than Nanostray.

- Those who enjoy fighters might be interested in the following doujin fighters: first off, Big Bang Beat apparently stars a bunch of characters from a hentai game (I just think its awesome that one of characters has a rotary phone for a belt), next is Monster, which stars a bunch of half people, half animals (yes, LOL FURRIES indeed), and finally, Akatsuki Blitzkampf, which features Nazis in a world where they won WWII.

- Gamasutra recently posted an interview with Masaya Matsuura, the man behind NanaOn-Sha, which was behind games like PaRappa, and one of my favorite PSone games of all time, Vib Ribbon. Apparently, he wants to do a version that uses mp3′s!

Also, I would totally love for him to collaborate with Tetsuya Mizuguchi…

- Slonie made this vid during his visit to an arcade in Las Vegas; it’s the attract mode for Dynamite Deka/DIe Hard Arcade 2.

- Time to check out what’s been posted over at GSW. First off, been meaning to mention it ever since I got the press release, but instead I’ll link to Simon’s write up: EA & Rosie, oh boy!

- Next is a very cute looking, and sounding, sheepherding game!

- Then there’s a shmup that combines memory play, ballerinas, and flowers? The YouTube vid kinda explains it better… sorta.

-Relatively speaking, this Tempest-like DS homebrew title looks quite tame, but pretty cool nonethess.

- Finally, and rather unfortunately, there’s the announcement that Retro Core is drawing to a close.

- Insert Credit, as usual has some pretty dandy things. First a look at Korean version of game systems (note: might only be of interest to those who are both Korean and Sega fans… which I am of both).

- Next is word regarding an upcoming game based on Powerpuff Girls Z (the anime based on the American show), including several vids, with one featuring their transformations. I’m actually in shock they don’t get naked. And I will admit that I kind of dig Buttercup’s vaguely Daft Punk backbeat.

- Here’s a pretty neat Shenmue misc vid featuring a very catchy song.

- I actually first saw this on television back when I was in Washington and had my yearly two week fix of G4TV; it’s a look at Power Shovel, from Cinematech Nocturnal Emissions, which is like the only good video game related show on that whole channel.

- And check out the entries for the crappy games competition for the GP32X. The dish washing simulator, Washing Up Extreme, seems pretty novel, as does Run Hitler, Run. But What’s On The Menu, CrapMan has to be the greatest name for anything, ever.

- Hey, here?s a random pic, from a Japanese arcade, featuring a girl playing a game where you walk the dog. I believe you might clean up its poop (or that could be another game, I can?t tell).

- Courtesy of Mugen, Homer Simpson vs Peter Griffin. I guess I would find the video more enjoyable if I liked Family Guy.

- On a related noted, here’s the countdown to a possible new Simpsons game from EA. Possibly Hit and Run 2?

- I can’t say I’ve had much of a chance to play And Yet It Moves that much since downloading it about a week ago, so the jury is still on the gameplay, but God damn do I love how it looks.

- Actually, instead, I’ve been playing Cubeoban.

- I had no idea that there was an Amiga version of Street Fighter 2!

- Mad Panic Coaster kinda seems like Love Love 2, though not as insane, if that can believed. And yes, I’m going to review it… I’m just SUPER busy these days.

- Hey, anyone out there played this yet?

I think its called Furu Furu Park, and its a mini-game collection from Taito, which explains why there’s Bubble Bobble, Pocky and Rocky, and SONIC BLASTMAN!!!!!

- Finally, here’s a story which might have been big news, I’m not sure since I’ve (clearly) been out of the loop, but if it wasn’t, then I’m kinda shocked since it kinda deserves attention: apparently, when officials discovered that some high school senior had created a game mod based on his high school, they freaked out due to the assumption and fear that it was proof that he was going to go nuts and go on a killing spree. So not only was he detained and removed from the school, but his home was also searched, where they found a weapon… that being an ordinary hammer.

I guess nothing really has to be said here, other than… what a country!

And a Few Random Non Game Related Links…

- I’m pretty embarrassed to admit that I only found out yesterday that pics of the new Iron Man suit (both Mark 1 and Mark 3) have been all over the net for the past week.

The funny this is how the news was broken to me by Fred Van Lente, the scribe behind the special Free Comic Book Day edition of Marvel Adventures (featuring Ion Man!) at Rocketship yesterday, who was on-hand as the special guest!

- A fairly awesome music vid that Simon pointed out.

- Here’s another… don’t know who the band is, but the song is decent, and the animation reminds me of Sesame Street for some reason.

- Yet another Mario vid…. maybe you’ve seen it already, but hey, I’ve pretty much linked everyone that I’ve come across this week thus far, so why not.

- I have no idea what this is about. All I know is that someone from work sent it to me.

- This one is just for Mike: drunk squirrel.

- Here’s a map that does a pretty good job of explaining the internet.

- Speaking of the internet: oh Wikipedia…

- If you like seeing Japanese school girls fight each other, than this vid’s for you!

- So one of my newest “things” is watching swing dancing vids. It?s been a while since I’ve checked out ghost riding videos after-all.

- Finally, for those of you unfamiliar with the latest internet superstar, may I introduce you to the man that will obliterate the soul cancer problem from Japan, once and for all. Seriously, I need to meet this guy.

And of course, here’s the remix.

2 comments

05/05/2007

“I just want it to be over.” II

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

NOTE: For those who don’t remember the first “I just want it to be over”, it can be found here.

So I really haven’t properly explained how my attempts at getting a passport for Japan later this month has been nothing but at fucking ridiculously complicated, needlessly drawn out, and downright hellish experience. Well, maybe now’s the time, since I’m beyond furious at this point.

I seriously thought the most absurd moment was this past Tuesday, while waiting in line to get my application approved; I had finally accumulated the necessary amount of “supplemental identification” to initiate the process. Lord know it took eleven, again ELEVEN, prior trips to various post offices to find out, time and time again, that I didn’t have the right this or enough that. I’ll get into what exactly constitutes supplemental identification in a second… but yeah, I really thought the absolute apex of retardedness was when I found myself in line behind two other person getting passports as well, both of whom were literally screaming. Why? The most important question is how old they were. One was maybe 1, probably less, and the other couldn’t have been older than 2. So apparently, even infants pose a possible security risk, hence why they need fucking papers too.

But I was wrong. Want to know what the very moment of it all has been? When I received and email yesterday stating that my application was on-hold due to another missing piece of identification… my baptism record. And no, I’m not even joking.

On Tuesday I sent out literally 23 different forms of “supplemental identification” and it STILL wasn’t enough. Mind you, it was never 23… originally it was far less, like 5. But each step of the way, with every visit to the post office and every person I spoke to, either in person or on the phone, that number continued to grow and grow and grow. In the end, I apparently needed 24, and making things even worse is how I have no record of baptism, which meant yet another day.. all day yesterday, and even some of last night… spent on the phone with various parties, or exchanging emails, which has been the case for weeks now. BTW, if you’re reading this and I owe you an article or story or an email, and you want to know what the fuck is the hold-up, I sincerely apologize, but THIS is the hold-up. And yeah, me bitching and moaning is wasting time and energy that could be spent towards said backlog of stuff that needs to be done, but I think I’m entitled to bitch here.

Anyway, what are some of the other 23 forms of “supplemental identification” that I supplied along previously? Well, copies of…

- my state ID card
- employee ID card
- my teaching card from SVA
- my old student card from SVA
- my business card
- my social security card
- a bank statement
- a paycheck stub
- a W-2
- my bank card
- my credit card
- a bill
- my high school transcript
- my college diploma
- my high school year book photo
- my college year book photo
- a print out of my interview from MTV
- my publicity info from the ICON website
- a spread from the ICON handbook

… along with a few other things that escape might right now, but it’s late and I’m pretty exhausted, YET I’M STILL ANGRY. So, why the fuck do I need all this shit? That’s the best part; because I don’t have a valid driver’s license. Apparently, if you can drive in this stupid country, you don’t have to fucking show or prove anything else. And not to go on some political rant, but I guess it shouldn’t be surprised in this day and age, with the administration that’s running the country, who are the ones who keep adding stupid rule after stupid rule, that one’s worthiness as an American is based upon the ability to burn fossil fuels. The baptism part makes the least amount of sense since, seriously, why is it theirs or anyone else’s fucking business, but again, if you think about it, it does fit into the overall picture. I also had other options for supplemental I.D. like insurance card, but since I’m freelance (well was till I got my new job, but medical doesn’t kick in for a bit), I don’t have one. Again, if you don’t have proof of wealth and security, I guess you’re just not good enough.

In the end, I basically said “Seriously, what fucking business is it of yours?” and instead had to fill out even more paperwork, which meant submitting info on practically everyone I’ve worked for, and lived with, and all that shit. It doesn’t help that folks who don’t like me, and maybe kinda hates me. once more has my future in their hands. Earlier this evening, when explaining to MK my predicament, she exclaimed “Its so hard to be you!!!” which actually kinda made me feel better, cuz it is kinda funny.

Also in the end, my passport is going to cost me close to $600. And that’s because I went with a passport expeditor and they have all these crazy fees, who have guaranteed me that I will get it in time, though I’m still pretty nervous about them actually pulling through. Many have asked why I just didn’t get it out of way back when I first knew about the trip. Well, to that, all I can say is I was going earlier this year, but, I lost my job and tons of other shit went down. And even then, I had heard that if I just paid extra, I could get it rushed. Course, I would later discover that instead of two weeks, the waiting period had ballooned to four, due to all the crazy new laws, and despite having time on my side to even allow for that, it all got pissed away from the idiotic paper trail I was on.

Ultimately, I’m still pissed that I, or anyone else for that matter, has to pay for the right to leave the country in the first place. What utter horseshit.

AND… less than a week into owning it, my iPod Nano is already fucked up. This morning had started just stellar; I woke up early so I could leave and get to work early to prep for a meeting and tackle the copious amount of work waiting for me, but I ended up leaving late due to… you guessed it… filling out paperwork for the passport agency to be faxed later. So while rushing to the subway station, I figured that at least I could blow off some steam by listening to some Ministry, but the iPod froze while cycling through playlists and there was nothing I could do. It was totally jammed, not even resetting worked. So I had to endure a hellish commute extra pissed this morning; you wouldn’t believe how hard I had to fight the urge to just snap the Nano like a fucking twig. But yeah… good work Apple! Though ultimately, I’m the idiot for giving them even more money in the first place.

At least the rest of today was much better. Swell even! The new job is going great btw. Though I had to pass on interviewing Steve Weibe since I had so much on my plate, but I’ll probably get another chance once King of Kong goes nationwide later this summer. Was going to see Spider Man 3 this weekend with Dave, but we’re both so busy (I had to take of some IGDA business earlier tonight), it’ll just have to wait till Monday. But at least I got to catch this terrific vid of David Hasselhoff drunk.

6 comments

05/02/2007

“That kid looks like Pippi Longstockings… the man.”

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

One of my more brilliant quips, from last Friday, while MK & I were people watching at the Palisades Mall. Well, less watching and more making fun of. I’m still pretty proud of myself on that one. Anyway, assorted other stuff from the past few days…

- We went to the mall to catch Hot Fuzz, since it was cheaper than catching a movie in the city, plus believe it or not, there’s actually less chance of mallrats getting on my nerves during a flick than a bunch of NYU snots. Anyhow, the movie? Loved it. It’s to cop flicks what Shaun of the Dead was to zombie flicks. Everything was pretty damn awesome, the actors, the action, but especially the cinematography and editing.

- Later that night, in Brooklyn, the power plant from across my house caught on fire. It was kinda freaky; the flames were all green one minute, then purple, then pure white, then green again. We’d find out the next day that it was an ozone fire. MK & I couldn’t get our eyes off it; we were waiting for the inevitable explosion, since that would of course lead to super-powers. That and it was very pretty. But it didn’t happen; the firemen simply pulled the plug, and in end, instead of the gift of flight or telekinesis, just more sperm got zapped (at least more than usual, when you live across from a power plant).

- At least I received a bunch of mini comics that MK picked up for me while at APE. I asked for Fart Party mini’s, and she delivered, along with others, as well as the books she got for herself for me to check out. Which, I’ve been so busy, I haven’t been able to touch since; I still haven’t even started the stack of Runaways that I was lent before her trip. I hear its awesome… plus it has Darkhawk! Though I did read MK’s latest book, Cross Country, and it might be her best one yet! Then again, I’m always a sucker for good road stories.

Oh, and MK even got me some Brandon Bird shwag, including a poster of Harrison Ford with a Sega Master System and the Law and Order coloring book.

- I also got the soundtrack to Funky Forest. For the longest time I planned on getting it while in Japan, but I kinda just couldn’t wait. And I got it mostly for this one song.

- Finally replaced my iPod as well. With the new job coming up (more on that in a bit), I knew that I would be in transit much more, so I absolutely needed something to keep me occupied and entertained (well, aside from my Game Boy Micro, two DSs, and the PSP). I chose… another iPod (sorry Mike). The iPod Nano, 4 gigs, in silver. Was going to go for the 2 gig model, but that was too small…. 8 would have been nice, but at $250, I may as well gotten a regular video iPod, and as for why I didn’t get that model, only one real reason: no Firewire support. Actually the second is that my Mac doesn’t have USB 2, so I knew managing 30 gigs of music on such a slow connection would be hell.

But the funny thing is, when I first got my iPod, all my other non-iPod friends asked “Does one REALLY need to have their entire music collection in the palm of their hands?” My response was at the time a very enthusiastic, “YES!” But really, you don’t, and even when I had one that was fully loaded, I only really listened to the same twenty of songs over and over again. Though the real selling point is watching movies and televisions shows; like most sensible folks, I already know that buying such content from the iTunes store is a totally insane waste of money (watching something that you can see on television, for free, as well as download, for free, on a tiny, tiny screen, for like $2 or worse?), so there’s always Tubesock, but I watch enough YouTube as it is.

- The next thing on my shopping list? Since I’m going to Japan (I hope to God I still am… otherwise, I will fucking kill every postal worker on this God’s green earth… more on that next time), it?s about time I got myself a digital camera. Most folks thinks it’s nuts that I don’t have one already. But since I had SVA’s equipment at my disposal for so long, there was never any real need. Anyway, if anyone can make any recommendations, it would be very much appreciated!

- Back to the weekend, MK & I watched all of Venture Brothers volume 2. All of disc one late Saturday night, all of disc two the next afternoon. BTW, its absolutely AMAZING. It?s even possibly better than season 1! The Scooby Doo episode lived up to the hype, and any show that makes a Residents joke in this day and age has my everlasting love and admiration.

- Gotta also say, this past SNL (which was a repeat, I know) was pretty decent! Though they seriously just need to give Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph the entire hour and half to let them just go crazy.

- Not sure how long its been on newsstands, but I finally caught the June issue of Inside Kung Fu Magazine, which features my interview with Hong Kong director, Yimou Zhang, on this latest film, Curse of the Golden Flower. So if you’re into that kind of stuff, check it out!

- Sorry to interupt, but I need to pass along a very important message:

Dear Brooklyn-ites,

Learn how to fucking park. Seriously. Thank you.

Matt

- And yes… I’ve heard about Sony’s God of War 2 promotional stunt involving a freshly slaughtered goat. Speaking as someone who is not the biggest fan of Sony these days (and it would seem more and more are sharing that same sentiment), this is hardly surprising, simply because, its the UK folks! Home to lamebrain “shocking!!!” video game adverts for years now. Remember the bleeding bus stop? Or one companies idea to advertise on tombstones? Seriously, what the hell is up with advertising agencies in England? I just can’t wait for the upcoming Pokemon campaign targeting methadone and abortion clinics.

- Yesterday I got asked by Dave to do the forward to the next Life Meter collection! I’m actually getting a sneak-preview later this week. I both hoping to see and not see a story on Dynamite Headdy and Rocket Knight Adventure, since it would be cool to see them, but I also still want to be the first person to touch both characters!

- But the real big news from yesterday is that I started my new job! And what exactly is that? Well… pretty much what I?m doing right now! Just on the subject of cell phones, for the mobile portal Zedge.

So what’s the deal exactly? To be completely honest, I really haven’t figured that out just yet. The basic plan, at least for the time being, is to do what I’ve been doing over here at fort90.com, just with a focus on the mobile lifestyle. Naturally, I’m going to concentrate on cell phone gaming… big surprise, I know… though anything else that floats my boat, so long as it has to do with cell phones, of course. And with less cursing. I would have announced this last night, but there was a delay in setting me up, so I was only able to start posting this morning. I’m going by the pseudonym, ZedgeNova…. hey, its a branding thing, don’t ask. But yeah, I know that there’s lots of cell phone blogs out there, but I don’t know about you, but most of them kinda bore me to death. So I figured if I just talk about the same wacky shit, or at least in the same wacky tone that I use around here, but for the mobile space… who knows. So please, check it out, and check often! One key difference is that instead of super long posts once every couple of days, I’ll be writing throughout the day over there (it is my day job after-all). And please pass it along to all interested parties! To be totally honest, the more hits I get, the more my new bosses are happy, and since I really like my new job, I want to be there for a while!

- I’m still doing this site, btw, so don’t expect any changes on this front. Though I will have to reallocate some of my time it to a certain extent… pretty much the only downside to the job is, aside from the fact that its in Newark, NJ, which means my commute from Park Slope is kinda hellish.

Hey, may as well do this now…

Dear MTA,

A sincere FUCK YOU for, among many other things, still not having the Cortland Street station open. Jesus Christ, how long has it been closed for repairs, three years now?!?! Re-opening it would make my life, and many others I would have to assume, about a million times easier. Does any of your dumbshit union goons do anything down there, aside from littering the site with Blimpie’s wrappers?

Matt

… Anyway, as I was saying, the only real downside is that, for whatever reason, my new company has banned my forums! WTF.

Hey, speaking of, I just added another movie review from Ric, of Spider Man 3!

5 comments