FORT90

So yeah, ICON 28. It’s been a full week since I headed off to Long Island with the crew, and I guess a full rundown of all the hijinks that ensued is finally in order. But first, here’s what Katie had to say over at the forums, which bears repeating…

Just returned from ICON. A few (of many) highlights:

I am so exhausted and I have seen so much retardation that I feel I may never see things the same way again. I may or may not have post-traumatic stress disorder. Holy shit.

… Mostly because, honestly, there’s really not too much else to state. For a while, I was debating if I should even file a report at all and simply try to forget the whole thing even happened. Yes, ICON 28 was just that bad.

Though I should first and foremost thank all the people that came out to see me last weekend and lend their support, which was sincerely appreciated. Most especially to Katie and Hilary, whom I’ve already expressed my gratitude quite profusely, but seriously, without them I would have totally flipped out and probably strangled a few individuals. I also want to thank all my fellow guest speakers, each one of whom really stepped up to the plate and provided the right balance of education and entertainment when it came to video games related dialogue, especially given the circumstances. Speaking thanks should be given to this year’s track leader Sandra Dumas, who was literally thrown into the role at the last possible minute, yet did a phenomenal job, again considering how heavily the deck was stacked against us.

Now going in, I knew the show would be a trainwreck. But holy fucking shit (I know I have a tendency too curse to much, and in recent months, I’ve been making a concerted effort to lessen the foul language around here, but for this particular entry, I hope everyone won’t mind giving me a pass), I could have never anticipated how much of a truly epic fail ICON 28 would turn out to be.

As expected, the change in location proved to be a complete nightmare. The entire affair was spread across three separate locations, one college campus and two different hotels, each about twenty minutes from one another at best. To accommodate this situation, a bus service hired by the convention, and man did they ever screw up big time; they were super slow, super inconsistent, and flat out horrible throughout the entire weekend. Much of Katie’s, Hilary’s, and my time at the show was spent either waiting for or being on a bus, as it took it’s sweet time going from one location to the next, whatever that might be (one really had no clue). There was a schedule, but in the end, it hardly mattered. I would later learn that the bus drivers basically did whatever the hell they wanted; because they were supposedly “bored” of their designated path, the drivers opted to create their own route, something more “scenic”. Which, naturally, screwed everything else up like the schedule. Furthermore, there were also reports of them charging passengers to go outside their route per request. Also, one crucial stop, that being Dave & Busters, who was a major sponsor of the show, was never heeded. Yet one really can’t blame the convention’s organizers for this particular issue. They had no idea such nonsense would go down, and I would like to believe that they tried their best they could to get that situation under control (which still sadly did little good in the end).

But outside of the buses, pretty much every other issue was the direct result of the ICON committee’s poor planning and execution from top to the bottom. Back to the new venues: despite the show spreading apart physically, there was actually far less available space. Meaning, far less programming in general, and one of the definite highlights of ICONs past has always been aimlessly floating, from either one panel to the next, or one screening room to the next, to discover some batshit insane thing after another. Instead, what was offered appeared to be really out there compared to shows past, almost like a “best of” assortment, which actually made quite a bit of sense. And that there was pretty much the only sensible part of the whole show. For starters, the utilization of said limited space was beyond abysmal; I’m guessing the idea was to offer a little bit of everything across three locations, but instead, it would have made far more sense to designate certain locations as the primary hub for this and that. Take my Gamer’s Court session for example. For whatever stupid reason, it along with only one other e-gaming related panel took place at one of the two hotels while everything else went down at the campus. Now, I was later explained that none of the classrooms would accommodate the large number of people that my presentations traditionally bring out (a number which I knew would be severely diminished by the change in venue, and this was before shitty buses were part of the equation). Fine. But in the end, I was assigned a space that was actually far smaller than said classrooms. In fact, all the programming that evening in that exact location had the same issue, that being totally cast aside in lieu of some wedding that had taken up the large rooms.

Like I said, the thing to do at ICON is simply hop from one crappy panel to the next, mostly because there’s like 300 of them going all on at once, so it’s hard to grow bored. Yet when you’re stuck in a location that only has 3 going at once, and all of them fill up super quick, you end up having absolutely nothing to do but get drunk at the hotel bar.

Oh, and of course, there ended up being a lecture hall on campus that would have totally worked, but which most of us knew nothing about; a few panels took place there, though none of them seemed to warrant the extra room. Making matters worse was how there was usually something else going on at the same exact time that was forced to make do with ultra tight quarters elsewhere, which basically translated to certain programming directors being greedy and not sharing information or resources with everyone else. lol

There’s plenty to elaborate on when it comes to the quality of the programming itslef, but now might be a good time to mention the absolutely absurd cost of admission. A weekend pass went for $67… that’s even more expensive that the already pricey weekend pass at the New York Comic Con. You know, a real convention. Which only made the total lack of organization and logic behind the entire proceedings all the more frustrating, since it was literally ripping people off. The lowest point was perhaps the evening of day two, in which everything was falling apart at the seems, with stuff canceling left and right, and confused attendees asking those who should be in the know not just getting shrugged shoulders, but in the most rudest and annoying manner possible (I remember back in the day when all the teenage volunteers, aside from being super helpful, would all so friendly, but I guess that other rumbling, that kids these days simply sign up to get a free pass and then vanish, is apparently more than true), which made that hour and half wait for the bus all the more bitter. Then you had the completely underwhelming line-up of guests. I know it’s foolish to expect a Star Trek captain each year, and even though I think the guy is pretty decent, seriously, Sean Astin and that’s it? Okay, also a dude from Mythbuster. Wow. To be honest, I can’t say much about each individual track’s offerings, but I did hear that there was hardly any on the author side of things. Plus I also noticed a total lack of Peter David at the comics end of the show. Which is another wow, because that dude is at ICON literally every single year.

Once again, hardly any of these issues were at all a surprise; without going into too many details, I’ve actually been privy to the behind the scenes action for some time now and was expecting a massive clusterfuck of epic proportions. Still sucked to be get caught in the middle of it. And while I have no reason to choose my words wisely, due to fear of repercussions, since I am SO done with ICON and the people that run it, I also don’t want to totally embarrass certain people needlessly (everything I’ve mentioned could have been observed by an attendee, or simply checking out the ICON website/message board), though I will state that whenever certain people have tried to defend the show by explaining how all cons are this mind-meltingly disorganized, I have to scream bullshit. Because I know a few folks who happen to run shows and conventions, and while they are hectic, it’s never as bad as what went down. One response was been to mention how no one running the show is getting paid for what they do, and that it’s a labor of love, and blah, blah, blah. Whatever. It only validates what they say, how you get what you paid for. Have I mentioned yet the totally laughable website? I recall Angelfire and Geocities sites circa 1998 that were better put together. But before going any further, maybe it’s time for that rundown…

- Day one started pretty ominously. After Katie, Hilary, and myself checked into our hotel, Sandra drove us to the Suffolk County Community College, and with the thick fog in the air, it totally felt like Silent Hill country. Once we got our badges via the tent (all ticket purchases and pick-ups took place in tents set up outside, which meant a very long line of kids in the cold, windy rain, which apparently moved at a snail’s pace), we hung out inside and waited for the dealer’s room, which took forever to open up. Soon it was time for me to talk, and I had my first two panels of the weekend: one was on sequels that people want/don’t want and the other was on the Wii and why it rocks/blows. Both went as well as could be expected. Because none of the programming on campus later that evening seemed particularly compelling, the three of us decided to move onto the Marriott, so we waited for the bus. And waited. And waited. For almost an hour. When it finally arrived, the trip itself almost took another hour.

This is also when Hilary made her first friend, some gooney dude dressed in a Japanese schoolgirl outfit. He was apparently cosplaying as some character in some obscure anime. Which is fine and all. Anyhow, the dude had just purchased a box set of Full Metal Alchemist, which was the initial basis of the conversation. Then a funny thing happened: the conversation stopped, and then Hilary decided to sit behind me, I’m guessing to avoid any further dialogue with said dork. I must admit, one endlessly entertaining thing the entire weekend was witnessing both Hilary and Katie interact with assorted weirdoes that you’ll only find at ICON, mostly how they’ll try their best to be friendly at first, but then they have this look on their face where it’s clear that they’ve mentally thrown in the towel. Anyhow, back to the scenario: for whatever reason, Katie next decided to sit where Hilary was at originally, and then the dork decided to resume the conversation, and went on and on and on, assuming Katie was Hilary. Yet at the same time, he kept looking right at Hilary. But still thought Katie was Hilary. Katie was not able to follow along, hence the “I don’t know the animu” but it didn’t stop him from continuing to rattle on. The bottom-line is that many folks who go to the show are socially awkward (obviously) and the show provides many of them the sole opportunity to interact with others with similar interests. Though unfortunately, many are not so much interested in engaging in dialogue, they just want the chance to get on their soapbox and rattle on.

- After finally making it to the Marriott, both girls went to AMV (that’s anime music videos for you noobs out there) competition, while I decided to check out some of the other panels going on. Spent a grand total of three seconds at one simply entitled Human Experimentation. It was just…. too much for me. Instead I checked out Superhero S&M, hosted by this soft-spoken Southern gentleman (who reminded me of Richard Christy, legendary metal drummer and personality for the Howard Stern Show) that was also a tad bit on the creepy side. I know. The dude tried to explain the connection between costumed heroes and assorted sexual fetishes from over the years. Most of it was pretty obvious to your average super hero fan, though I did learn a few interesting tidbits, like how Professor X once gave a member of the New Mutants a spontaneous orgasm (granted he was supposedly evil at the time, but I still need to see that for myself). The best part was when these two girls dressed up as the original Silk Spectre came into the room, and all of a sudden the speaker became very excited, who then explained: “Welcome ladies, I was just about to talk about your daughters and how kinky she is.” They stuck around for a grand total of two minutes, which broke the heart of our pervy southern host: “But I really needed a picture of those two… oh well.” At about the time the dude pulled out his own box of costume paraphernalia, to help illustrate what you can do at home to live out your super sexual hero fantasizes, I finally had to bolt. I then rejoined Katie and Hilary in the AMV room, catching the final part of the final vid, which combined Dragonball Z and the Curly Shuffle. Apparently they were all just as wretched. But we figured that the night would soon redeem itself, because it was time for what was certain to be a rocking good time, the panel entitled Tentacles Don’t Know When No Means No.

Now, one of the main selling points of the show to Hilary and Katie has always been the wacky panels, hence why this year’s offering seemed especially promising (again, it definitely felt especially insane, which is a good thing). But most importantly, how in the hell does one fuck up a panel on tentacle rape? I asked that once before, and yet again, that’s precisely what happened. Whereas two years ago it was due to poor planning, this particular session succumbed to a common problem at ICON: they get some nerd up there, who might know a lot about something, enough to run a panel, but instead of offering insight or dialogue pertaining to the topic on hand, he or she develops a swelled head due to all the attention finally being centered on them. And make no mistake, ICON is mostly an ego trip for certain individuals, myself included, but at least I try to keep things somewhat professional. First off, it took almost forever to get the A/V set-up (that was another minor issue throughout the weekend, but in this instance, people including the host were taking their sweet fucking time and for no reason… actually, I believe I just explained why, and there’s a pretty clear distinction between building up anticipation and just being a retard). Next a clip was shown of some wacky hentai from the 80s called Wounded Man, by the same writer and artist duo that gave the world Crying Freeman; aside from the hilariously bad mistranslation (from Hong Kong I believe), it featured a naked dude that just goes around tackling women as if he was playing football, and then rapes them. That alone was enough to forgive the total lack of tentacles, but when you have something so utterly captivating, why the hell not just let the damn thing play and speak for itself? Because everything thinks they Joel fucking Hodgson and that they’re the host of Mystery Science Theater. Though the bigger issue is how when people think they’re funny, 99% of the time they most certainly am not. Also, the “LOL Japan!” sentiment works in a number of contexts, but at a goofy convention filled to the gill with animu dorks, you’re just proving to everyone that you have absolutely nothing to bring to the table. About five minutes into the bullshit, Katie declared, ““I need a drink.” as did the rest of us, hence our prompt exit.

- The remainder of night was spent at the Marriott lobby, waiting for the next bus, which he had no real idea was going to arrive (all around, everyone kept talking about how the schedule was not be heeded). Here’s another stupid thing that blew my mind: you’d think at of all places, some ritzy hotel bar would know how to mix booze. Not here. Hilary’s assumption is that they simply severely watered down everything, which I believe. The most enjoyable part here was when we all spotted this large gaggle of kids dressed up as assorted Smash Bros characters, and I simply had to get a pic of the two girls dressed up as the Ice Climbers (among other things, their hammers were really friggin’ nice). But when I approached them about taking a pic, I realized that they in the midst of a heating argument amongst one another, aka Katie’s highlight #6 from above.

Once the bus finally showed up, we all witnessed yet another massive screw-up on the part of the ICON committee. So all the kids on the bus (the Smash Bros crew mostly, save for ONE guy, who I’ll get to in just a minute) were expecting to get back on campus since that’s where their cars were parked. But then the driver informed us that it was not possible, the campus was closed at this point of the evening (it was fairly late), and that all the kids were effectively stranded. I believe the driver pointed out that they should have known about the closing of the campus, but none of that was mentioned anywhere on the con’s schedules and the like. When one of the kids asked if the driver could simply let them off anywhere near the campus, like the 7-11, which truth be told was not even that close to the school, the driver said no, it’s on his route and that would be breaking some sort of agreement (obviously, this guy wasn’t one of the others who would go sightseeing later in the weekend). The only option was for them to call campus security to arrange something, but thankfully, an ICON representative made the arrangements for the gate to be open. Now here’s what upsets me, and this also pertains to the weekend as a whole: I haven’t even scratched the surface as to why the entire show was such a dismal failure, but rest assured, it will be just as bad next year. Why? For whatever reason, everyone who goes to ICON are just way too laid back and take everything in stride. I personally would have lost my shit on the bus if I were told that I wad denied access to my vehicle, but everyone was so calm and relaxed about it. Which is normally the right thing to do, but I just wished more people would take and stand and let the powers that be know how totally fucked up everything was. Anyhow, the entire scene was just so sad, as well as ridiculously frustrating; at least the three of us were able to find solace via the YouTube application on my iPhone, mostly by reciting the lyrics from this video over and over again (nerd rap and rock gives me douche chills, but that shit is the real deal motherfuckers).

Back to that non-Smash Bros cosplaying kid, otherwise known as #4 on Katie’s list; for whatever reason, she decided to make chit-chat with this person, who was playing Pok?mon Platinum. Which went okay at first, but much like Hilary earlier that same evening, there was a point where Katie realized that she had gone too far, hence the decision to withdraw from the conversation. And the kid simply continued on by speaking with himself. Again, once you get some shy, withdrawn people started, it’s instant diarrhea of the mouth. Now, I can’t remember how he jumped onto the topic, but next thing you know, Pok?fan began to expound on the virtues of the Palisades Center with such passion (the fact that we all live in the city, nor Hilary’s blanket statement of “I just hate malls” would not deter the guy). Too bad the three of us were so annoyed and exhausted, otherwise we would have found the kid entertaining. Once we finally rolled into the Holiday Inn, our home base, the three of us totally passed on the Open Filk and simply made a beeline for our room to crash. Though not before Katie called some kid a virgin for getting in her face and proclaiming himself “the Game Masta”. See: #3.

- I totally missed out on breakfast the following morning, along with Katie and Hilary’s trek into the console gaming room afterward, where both girls where given the evil eye by one of the chicks manning the room. Like I said, the volunteers they got this year were just a bunch of fucking assholes. Anyway, it was time to get back on that bus; with us was Rorschach, drinking coffee…

Also along for the ride was that annoying Pok?mon/Palisades Center superfan who literally tried poking me to get his attention. There was also this car in the Holiday Inn parking lot next to us, which both Katie and Hilary found pretty entertaining, though it’s interesting what becomes old hat if you’ve been to ICON enough times…

Soon we were back on campus for day two. And at last, a good amount of cosplayers were finally floating around, like Naked Snake here…

… And hey, it’s Duke Nukem…

… Both girls were both amazed and horrified that the dude was utilizing real shot gun shells. Anyhow, it was off to the dealer’s room, to kill some time before my next panel. So how was it this year? Pretty lame. I mean, it’s been mostly useless for a couple of years now, thanks to the advent of the internet, but it was especially bad this year. Many of the sellers that one have come to expect were noticeably absent, like the sword sellers (in their case, Suffolk County Community College didn’t want any selling of weapons, even fake ones, on their grounds). I have no idea why Zenbock, my fave Vulcan that hosts of a sci-fi cable access show/plays in rhythm and blues cover bands across Long Island/usually has a table selling crappy Egyptian art was also nowhere to be seen (yet another spectacle I promised Hilary and Katie that did not come through).

Still, a few interesting finds were to be had, like this stack of Dazzler #1s for just a buck…

Man, does Gainax love milking the Evangelion franchise or what…

… Too bad my pic of the Eva girls as traffic cops didn’t turn out so hot, but more on the franchise’s supposed bastardization a bit later. Anyway, here we have some kid playing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fighting game on a multicolored Super Famiclone…

… Sucks that the Genesis version is much better, imho. Though the thing to get at ICON is forgotten sci-fi books…

… There’s literally stacks and stacks of this stuff. One can also find plenty of cosplaying accouterments, like cat ears, which Katie actually tried on! And pictures were taken, but since she insists that I not share any that she feels might be “stupid” I will instead only pass this one of Nurse Florido…

This trio from Resident Evil 4 sure did impress…

And here we have our quarreling Ice Climbers from the night before. I’m guessing their costumes were too good to allow a rift to get in the way…

… Man, those hammers they created was simply awesome. Oh, and here’s a girl dressed as one of the evil Decepticon jets…

… The fact that I can’t remember his name either proves that I’m really getting old or how I truly do not give a shit about Transformers anymore. Anyhow, here’s two dudes as pirates that I found especially entertaining…

… As an aside, my birthday is coming up, and for those of you wanting to know what to get me, all I can say is that I have all the video games and creepy little figures of half naked girls from Japan that I really want already, so a new camera that would prevent pictures like above would be awesome. One that could also be used to film my impending cable access show would be great as well.

Moving on, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this guy/taken his pic before, but who cares, NiGHTS just flat out rules…

Creepy dudes and girls with FREE HUGS signs are dime a dozen at such shows, but at least this dude was a tad bit more original and entertaining…

- My first panel of the day was The Best Games You’ve Never Head Of, which as hoped, provided both the audience as well as the panelists a long list of games that no one knew existed. Which naturally provided me with the chance to talk about Love Love 2, which Dave Gilbert actually first brought up, because he’s actually played it (I brought it into class one day), and who loves to tell everyone that I’ve played pretty much every single game that’s under the sun (not quite, but close to it). Afterwards was Careers In The E-Gaming Industry, which went fairly well, though hardly anyone was interested in a career in video game journalism. I wonder why! Also, when I explained that video game schools in generally were somewhat unnecessary, I ruined at least one kid’s hopes and dreams, whose accompanying parent then gave the “see, I told you they’re a stupid idea” dirty look.

Due to my schedule, I had to miss a bunch of other panels that I really wanted to catch parts of, like Yo Mama Anime Fight and Man Bits Insect. And instead of further boring me, Katie and Hilary decided to check out the Explanation of Evangelion topic, which I they would explain to me afterwards was a mind-blowing affair. I’ve actually been meaning to ask Hilary to file a mini-report on the show, mostly from an anime fan’s point of view, but mostly to expound upon that hour, since she is after-all my animu correspondent for this blog, but simply haven’t had the chance, so I’ll just repeat the basic gist as I understand it: some dork dressed as V from V from Vendetta trying to provide a lecture on Neon Genesis Evangelion, and having a complete mental breakdown in the process. Mostly because he had this whole gigantic PowerPoint presentation set-up, but the projector wasn’t working, so he had to freestyle it. Which meant him “explaining” the entire show and its accompanying movies, mostly to people who know a whole lot more about than him, and getting loads of stuff wrong, as well as insulting everyone’s intelligence. Hilary noted that he’s analysis of it’s use of symbolism was particularly douchey, as well as how he went into the extremely trite and tirade path of how such an such American distributor of such and such Japanese product (in this case, ADV) doesn’t fully understand and appreciate what they’re peddling, which is such utter bullshit to anyone who knows anything. Oh, and apparently, this guy tried to touch Hilary’s hand at one point, but was scared away by Katie’s “whatthefuckdoyouthinkyouaredoing” look.

Anyhow, this guy was doing his presentation all over again, this time with all the A/V elements in place, and Hilary and Katie insisted that I check it out. Which is what I did. And granted, seeing someone totally have a meltdown in front of an audience and while in costume is nothing new to me (I still have fond memories of the vampire pirate Lockane many years ago, who aside from yelling at his computer for going to sleep, and spoke of a perfect universe in which women that while fucking you can hack your bank account with their minds plus shoot you with tits that have guns at the end, tried to convince use that he had the ability to fly and shoot fireballs, but could no due to everyone in the room being “non-believers”), it’s still endlessly fascinating. So V had two laptops set-up, one to record himself (dear God, I need to see this ASAP) and the other with the PowerPoint itself, manned by some fat goth girl who didn’t know how to use PowerPoint, so she kept screwing up his spiel, and that the three of us would determine after the fact was not a friend like you’d think but just some random stranger roped into it. The entire thing was given while wearing his goofy mask, which made it very heard for him to speak, plus he was hyperventilating anyway, so at points he had to take a break by downing some water. But because he couldn’t take the mask off, he had to use a straw, which was fine until he put the bottle down on a table, not realizing that it was also resting on his cape, so when we went to move, the bottle began to tumble and V had to make a comical save. In the end, he caught it, but the straw went inside, and we all could read his “oh great, what the hell do I do know” expression, despite the goofy garb getting in the way. I guess you just have to see this all to understand how much of a spectacle it all was.

So this fucker spoke for a solid hour plus about Evangelion, which was supposed to serve as a primer to those unfamiliar with the series, but around the 40% mark just started going on all these tangents and tirades, like how his mom strongly disapproved of his liking of the show, by providing this super long and practically implausible quote, mostly because when my dad didn’t like the shit I was into, he simply kept it nice and short: “I think that shit is gay.” The best part is how he disclosed how he became a fan of the show after being first exposed to it on Cartoon Network (yeah, I know, lulz) which was like in 2005, and how after the fact he disclosed to us he was 23. So you’re telling me that his mom had such a problem with him watching Eva at the age of 20, 21?!?! I can think of a few other reasons for her to be pissed at him at such an age. Though the best parts was his assumptions of various things, like his completely nonsensical conclusion that the latest Eva movies, which are remakes and reboots of the original television series, actually takes place afterwards. Oh boy…

… Then there was the so-called raping of the franchise, the condemning of people of buying all the Eva related fan service-ish stuff, who clearly do not appreciate the source material. Never-mind that all that stuff is also produced by Gainax themselves! I could go on. And so did this guy; I especially loved how he began talking about the still in the works live action movie, and how Emma Watson would have been perfect in the movie as Asuka, which is quite true…

… At least talk about a live action Eva movie made sense. Past the hour mark he began fantasy film casting for a bunch of other anime to live action translations, which was also when some dude who was with the panel afterward barged in and wondered what the fuck was taking so long. So V rushed through his remaining 20 left over slides and then it was finally over. No time for question and answer, which really pissed me off. I still can’t believe Katie and Hilary sat through two hours of this idiot’s ramblings. Afterwards, he had to talk to this guy, and found ourselves sharing the elevator down. The guy was steadfast about not revealing any personal info, but as soon as Katie asked for his age, he immediately supplied it. I then asked him a general question, to ease into the kill, but we immediately became bored and all of a sudden ditched the guy.

- Back to the dealer’s room: here’s some Gurren Lagann guy that Hilary found particularly hilarious…

I have zero clue what this dude is about…

This guy, as Old Snake, was easily one of the best damn things about the weekend…

On our way to the Marriott, we spotted this totally sweet ride in the SCCC parking lot…

Once there, we immediately ran into Master Chief! Or at least his kid sister…

… I forgot to mention how there was a Master Chief helmet in the dealer’s room that Katie spotted on Friday night, and for a really good price I’d like to think, which unfortunately got snatched up immediately, which led to quiet heartbreak. Oh well. Well here she is with an amusing drawing of a cat…

Hilary absolutely loves old books, and not surprisingly she had a ball going the large assortment of stuff that was simply there to be given away. My fave cover there had to be…

… I myself ended up getting an old Alf comic from the late 80s, as well as an old Street Fighter comic from the early 90s, published by Malibu. Scans will be forthcoming. Anyhow, we still had some time to kill, which meant even more drinks, plus more fun with the iPhone, this time rocking out to assorted donk remixes…

Soon it was finally showtime. I had a lot of anxiety going in, since the Game’s Court concept heavily depended on audience participation, and I figured that no one would be around. In that sense, the painfully small room helped make things seem bigger than what it really was, especially when it became crowded near the end. Yet not helping was the total lack of air conditioning and the funk from the panel before; Hilary went in to investigate beforehand, and came back to whisper in my ear, “It smells like snatch in there.” But once things got started, all was fine, though it didn’t quite turnout how I had envisioned. How it worked, or was supposed to work, was like this: someone from the audience has a viewpoint, or a beef mainly, related to video games, and they would come up to state their case. Then hopefully, someone else who feels differently would then also come up, the two would debate, and at the end, I would ask the audience, aka the jury, their thoughts on who was the winner. Maybe again it was due to the lack of potential participants (another notable absence that entire weekend was my groupies, who I was really banking on being present that particular hour), but I was really hoping for people to come up to air grievances along the lines of “FINAL FANTASY SUX!!” Instead, a lot of it was pretty technical, which along with the shot of whiskey immediate beforehand, was a bad combination, because I totally began to space halfway through a debate regarding real-time strategy games. Hence why the final two arguments I mistakenly award the wrong person the winner. But at least I was able to make my jokes, plus the games I gave away were a real big hit, including Retro Game Master, Avalon Code, and Sonic and the Black Knight… Thanks XSEED and Sega!

- Afterwards was a bunch of panels that I figured would provide the most laughs of the entire weekend, and therefore justify the entire trip for Katie and Hilary. First up was the NC-17 Fanficition Panel, which is where Gamer’s Court took place, or the room that smelled like snatch. It was by far the most annoying and insulting hour the three of us spent that entire weekend, which is saying a lot. It was basically hosted by these two “hot chicks” going over the do’s and do not’s of erotic fanfiction. Which was retarded because it was more or less entirely based upon their personal tastes, and I’m sorry, but when you’re writing stories featuring intellectual properties that you have no ownership (already I see somewhat of an issue, but I’ve already said my peace about such things plenty of times) sticking objects up their asses, the last thing you need to heed are some completely arbitrary and ridiculous rules. If some people get off on one creatures with three legs getting it on, as opposed to those with four legs, who the fuck are these idiots to pass judgment. But it was mostly a chance for said nitwits to “demonstrate” all these sexual positions for the entire audience. So you two have an active sex life, we fucking get it, and even those of us who get some on a regular basis still finds such showboating insulting. Best part was how this crazy person from another fanfaction panel from years ago, who if I’m not mistaken wrote some 100 chapter fanfic based on Final Fantasy X that she refuses to allow anyone to read, had to chime in to get a piece of the spotlight. What annoying narcissists.

Next was how to Pick Up Chicks. But instead of it being two wiccans explaining to 100+ virgin males that soap is a good thing in a completely serious, non-ironic tone, and all of them scribble said info down furiously, also quite seriously, it was just some married couple giving advice in a very Burns and Allen-type fashion to those that, from my vantage point, had no trouble with the opposite sex, or outwardly shouldn’t. And while I had no problems hearing why this particular couple talk about how they came to be (they weren’t nearly as annoying as the , it just wasn’t the trainwreck that I was anticipating (nor promised). Though the biggest problem here was how this same couple was also going to host Gamer Sex 101 and 201, which I was also banking on being comedy gold (you know, the “parody panel” for dorks who like to pretend that they have sexoholic girlfriends that won’t leave their cocks alone long enough to finish their D&D game), so the three of us once again had to hit the bar, mostly because NOTHING else was going on. Jesus Christ. There was one final beacon of hope, a panel on furries and tattoos. Which naturally, didn’t happen. I tried gathering information, and no one who should know why did, nor could they be bothered. Just splendid. At least we got to witness some girl, who vaguely looked like the chicken lady from The Kids In The Hall, crying into her cellphone to mom, about how her friends had abandoned her. Oh, then there was this other dude, one of the A/V guys, who showed us his own furry art.

I also at least got to run into the twin Silk Spectres. They were SO cute and easily one of the biggest hits at the show…

- By the time we got back to the Holiday, Katie had enough. It was her first show of this kind, and it was giving her a massive headache. That left just Hilary and myself to hit the masquerade. Which, like years past, was a chance for everyone, regardless of who they were, or whoever the hell they were supposed to be, to shut up and dance. Or at least try to. The biggest hit here being Old Snake once again…

… The music was what you would expect from a Long Island DJ’s iPod who traditionally does guideo weddings, but this weekend, has to make Jedis and InuYashas bust a move. Including the Cotton Eye Joe song, which everyone knew the moves to. Well, you know, Long Island.

Another superstar of the dance floor was “Tuxedo Matt” as Hilary and Katie dubbed him. Apparently there was some dude on the show floor dressed like Tuxedo Mask, who vaguely looked like me. So of course I had to dance with the guy…

Oh my God, it’s the Undertaker!!! I naturally wished him well in his big Wrestlemania 25 match the very next day…

The night ended up with a fire alarm that woke everyone up around 4 in the morning. It was, needless to say, annoying as hell. Mostly because it took us forever to fall asleep in the first place. I’ve never had problems with beds at the Holiday Inn near ICON, but that weekend had quite a few firsts. After trudging out into the cold for no real reason (but hey, better safe than sorry I guess), Katie and I struggled to fall back asleep by zoning out on a combination of Animal Planet and assorted infomercials. It was basically the night that wouldn’t end.

- The morning of day three, Katie wasn’t feeling so hot, so she decided to head home early, as did Hilary. A wise move indeed. The final day of ICON is always somewhat quiet and depressing, the “party’s over” atmosphere is pervasive throughout, but more so this time. I tried my best to find something interesting, anything, in the dealer’s room and all I could really dig up were these commemorative Star Trek and Star Wars plates…

… I at least found my favorite dealer, who specializes in assorted little plastic figures from Japan of mostly nude girls, but new this year were various scenes of people being scared to death of ghosts (I purchased a bunch, but don’t have pictures handy, maybe next time). I actually spent much of that day asking various people what they thought of the show as a whole, the dealers in particular. The average dip in sales across the board was at least 50%, though I heard as low as 70% from some, enough to put doubt on whether they’d come back. The reasons were fairly obviously and everything I’ve already mentioned: the high-ticket prices, the fact that most of the programming is nowhere nearby (the dealer’s room was always a great chance for those wanting to kill time between panels, and do a little impulse shopping). Yeah, it was a real ghost town, though there was still some cosplayers to found, like Lil’ Master Chief!

… Who for whatever reason was hanging out with the Silk Spectres! And here’s a duo from Eva…

… That jackass from behind, or at least his ilk, were actually all over the place. It was practically come point and laugh day at ICON. This is when I began to grow especially depressed; I’ve always had a soft spot for the show, warts and all, but it was practically seeing your once favorite uncle make a complete ass of himself at a holiday function. Or perhaps a more appropriate analogy, though less people will probably grasp, was seeing your once big-time professional wrestler in some shit down, trying to relive the glory days that have clearly passed.

It was noted in one of the panels I spoke at that afternoon, by Steven Glicker, how ICON was always this little thing that not too many knew about, but always got the same people coming out for, year after year. Which is true, the thing has its diehards, who have been there since day one, twenty-eight years ago, and who will perhaps continue to return for another twenty eight. But then all of a sudden, just a few years ago, it became really popular and all these people began flooding in. But now, perhaps due to the change in venue, the dropping of the ball from various people behind the scenes…. as well as other circumstances, such as the shit economy… perhaps ICONs heyday has finally come to its end. I forget if I mentioned it before, but the main reason why I got involved in the behind the scenes last year in the first place was because of the rumor how, due to the impending loss of their Stony Brook home, it was going to possibly move to the Jacob Javits Center to New York City. Perhaps it for the best that such a bold move was not taken, but then again, I can’t help wonder what could have been. Maybe it was ICON’s one big grand opportunity to make it big, forever lost?

Time for one last pic, of one of the numerous aforementioned ICON diehards: it’s Filthy Pierre…

… Hey Mike, FYI, the dude’s a Libertarian.

- My final three topics are all a blur. mostly conjecture of what is yet to come in the world of video games (in-between was one on sandbox games, which I knew nothing about, but kicking things off with “Grand Theft Auto is the worst thing to happen to vide games, ever” did the job of getting people worked up, and then talking for the next hour). Myself and Dave Gilbert had to jet halfway through my final topic in order to make the last train out of Brentwood, unless we wanted to stay another three hours in town waiting for the next one. Again, it was fun while it lasted, but all good things, yada yada. And I know everyone keeps pointing out how I basically said the same thing last year, but I really meant it. I swear!

It’s also been stated numerous times by assorted people from behind the scenes, how video games is really the red-headed step child of the show, and it especially evident at ICON 28. And because I have decided to completely walk away from the organization, I’m curious to see what will become of electronic gaming at the northeast’s largest fantasy, science fiction, and science fact spectacular. At this point, I could honestly care less. Perhaps now is the time to finally do something that folks like Jason and Joe Simko have been clamoring for… fort90con anyone?

One last ICON related note: for additional pics, please refer to this set from my personal furry photographer, “EarlMadness” (apologizes if me constantly pointing that out annoys you… and thanks for the recommendations regarding which furry panels to check out; unfortunately, due to the shitty buses, we missed all of them). The best of the rest of my pics should be on Flickr sometime soon, maybe with the aforementioned Katie wearing cat ears pic!

I suppose it also bears mentioning that shortly after exposing her to so much soul cancer, Katie has been trying to learn the Haruhi Dance. Perhaps the legacy of ICON shall live on more so than anticipated?
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Not too much to speak off regarding the week that followed. So draining was ICON, along with all the other things I had been working on the weeks leading up to it, that I’ve basically been “on vacation” mode. Though one thing of note: my follow-up interview with Rodney Greenblat was just published at Gamasutra, regarding his return to video games. Check it out! Next time I’ll be back with plenty of video game talk, and maybe even a review of The Fast & The Furious 4.

And don’t forget, there’s now only a week till the deadline of the Persona 4 fan art contest. Time to start drawing if you’ve been meaning to, but just haven’t had the time!

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Alright! ICON 28 is almost here, and soon I’ll be off to Long Island to spend another solid three days talking about games, taking pictures of folks in wacky attire, and gawking at tentacle rape. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no idea about the finer details. Among other things, the show is taking place in a completely new venue. There’s actually three locations this time to be exact, with programming spread all across, and the main issue here is how and why some things are where they are.

Basically, most of the e-gaming programming (which I am a part of) will be in one place, that being Suffolk County Community College in Brentwood, while just one or two will be at some other location, a hotel. Including my big one hour spiel, aka Gamer’s Court. So I’m expecting a poor turnout, which will totally bite since more so than anything I’ve ever done, audience participation will make or break it. I also was not able to find a judge’s robe or gavel to go along with the shtick, but at least I’ll have plenty of games on-hand to give out to participants! There’s also a bunch of other things I could bitch about, but that wouldn’t be very professional, plus at this point, I just want to forget about any nonsense and simply have a good time. Too bad Jason had to duck out at the last minute due to personal matters, so it’ll be just myself, Katie, and Hilary. The trifecta! Hopefully a good time will be had by all. And despite all the uncertainties ahead (I wonder if my groupies will be present), I’d like to hope that oh so unique ICON flavor and vibe will still be present, especially since it will be both ladies’ first taste!

And as for myself, it will more than likely be my final one. I know I’ve that last time, but this time I really mean it. Anyhow, for those of you who can come out, please do so! As for everyone else…. here’s my latest assortment of video game related info and nonsense, more than enough to keep anyone busy throughout the weekend!
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- First off, I guess I should perhaps touch upon the just passed GDC, right? Which might be a bit tough since I wasn’t actually there, as well as a tad bit pointless since it’s old news already, plus once again, I’m no Kotaku or IGN, so there’s no real need to go every little thing. But for those who missed everything and would like the whole story, Gamasutra’s got you covered of course. Plus, here’s the ultra condensed, to the point version.

BTW, anyone who doesn’t care about my two cents about the affair and just want to get to the goods (plenty of pretty pictures of WACKY JAPPY, with some possible loli), just skip the following big chunk of text.

Anyhow, from my perspective, it was a pretty decent affair. Not the mind-blowing, gamergasm that some hoped it would be, which to be honest, is a good thing. It’s a place for serious business and not stupid PR antics. Basically, Bob’s Game failed to make any sort of blip whatsoever. Though a demo was finally released on the homepage, I guess on day one of the event, which I believe was also “Day 100″ in Robert Pelloni’s mind.

So how is it? It’s pretty mediocre to be honest. Many were hoping for some epic train-wreck to add fuel to the lulz, but it’s not even that interesting. Other than how it tries way too hard to be cute and self-referential, Bob’s Game is remarkably unremarkable. As noted in forums, I can totally see some ultra two bit publisher buying the game from Robert, for dirt cheap naturally, then re-skin the entire thing with some crappy Saturday morning cartoon license. Which would then sit there on Target or Wal-Mart shelves, collecting dust, with it’s only chance of being picked up during one of their buy 2/get one 1 free sales. Possibly.

- Back to the actual show: the first few days were mostly centered on the iPhone, which at this point is pretty much being heralded by some as the greatest gaming platform. Mostly folks like Neil Young (not the musician but some other dude that runs a company that used to work at EA and makes iPhone games), who was quoted as saying, “We’re at the center of the new everything… The iPhone has revolutionized everything.”

Speaking as a person that is currently designing iPhone games, all I can say is that many of his points are valid, but some only for the moment. It’s now a golden age for iPhone app development, mostly because many can get away with releasing total bullsh*t, and without any real consequence. But it would also appear that change is in the air.

Furthermore, developing for the iPhone is just a pain in the ass. I’m sorry, but that’s the God’s honest truth. Because that touchscreen, and ESPECIALLY that accelerometer, ain’t what they’re cracked up to be. That’s not to say that truly compelling gameplay experiences are not possible… that’s also far from the truth. It’s just really, really hard to do so. Most developers are simply driven by the success stories, like of such and such’s goofy little app that was made completely on the side, which then goes on to pay off said person’s mansion and yacht. Then again, many have been complaining about problems with the system for some time now; basically there’s way too many stuff coming out, so virtually everything gets lost in the shuffle, forcing some to go through ridiculous lengths to gain even a little bit of attention (like paying for positive reviews via the App Store and the such). Everything will stabilize eventually, it’s just a matter of time when that will be, and if it’ll kill the entire thing in the process. Many feel that offering refunds is enough to destroy most small outfits. Time will only tell.

Though I do think it’s hilarious how last year, it was Nokia front and center, with their N-Gage 2.0 service, ready to take the mobile gaming world by storm. My how things have changed in just one year!

- Moving on, and as noted, the start of the conference was all about the little guy, where folks who had managed to find success tried to offer words of wisdom to those that are still trying to figure things out. Such as Ron Carmel, the one of the co-creators of World of Goo, who basically gave some rather obvious, yet still very sound advice.

Though the highlight of the indie set would have to be the grand unveiling of the second Fez trailer, by my good pal Phil Fish! Many jaws were dropped with that one.

I also love how Fish caused a bit of a stir on day two and basically stated what many do not want to hear: the word indie… much like the word nerd (see previous entry)… has lost all its meaning.

- But eventually, the “big boys” took the stage. First there was Nintendo; while the main man in charge, Satoru Iwata, gave his keynote, everyone back at home received a system update for their Wii’s, which addressed the biggest problem that the hardcore set has been bitching about (okay, one of them), that being the paltry amount of storage available for the system (and not it’s lack of HD-quality video outputting). I immediately downloaded the update and a whole new world was immediately opened up; like so many others, I too had grown frustrated with the constant need to move stuff back and forth to the SD card, and this issue also prevented flippant purchases from the Wii Shop Channel. But now, with the ability to launch games, and even send purchased gamed directly to an SD card, Nintendo has finally removed the one huge hurdle that’s been preventing both the Virtual Console and WiiWare from fully being realized. Simply amazing.

Granted, I do feel somewhat silly for praising Nintendo for such a move, because much like the upcoming cut and paste feature for the iPhone 3.0 firmware, both should have been implemented a LONG time ago. But it’s here and it’s awesome, that’s the most important stuff. And now my spending habits on the Wii Shop Channel might have a chance to catching up to Xbox Marketplace! Provided they finally start releasing the really good stuff for the VC. Where the hell is Starfox? Jesus.

Speaking of, classic arcade games have also been added to the Virtual Console. Yay? I personally feel it?s almost silly given how, as just noted, there are still so many awesome games yet to be release on the NES/SNES/Genesis front. Then again, if it finally means a home release for the arcade version of Super Mario Bros 1, which is far and away the most superiorthe GDC 09 trailer actually has me pumped! I guess it’s the music; I’m just a sucker for any old NES tune, redone all modern-like. Plus some rock-climbing game for the Wii Fit balance board was announced, and hat’s cool I guess. Then there was the accidental confirmation that us Americans are finally getting another Layton game. Yes! And what else? Oh yeah, the new Zelda for the DS, Spirit Tracks. Not surprisingly, people over at NeoGAF either loved it or hated it, with the quote highlighting this post being my absolute favorite. Along with this exchange:

“This sounds ridiculous. No thanks, Nintendo. Do. Not. Want.”

“Which parts of the Zelda universe DON’T sound ridiculous again?”

… And this wacky Photshop. I personally think it looks kinda neat. I still love the Wind Waker esthetic, and found Phantom Hourglass to be quite enjoyable, so yes, more please.

- Naturally the DSi was also a major focal point, which leads me to one of my absolute favorite stories, mostly because it related to one of my absolute favorite things about the GDC in general. And that’s hearing about stuff as they were coming down the pipeline. Last year we discovered that the Wii Fit board was originally supposed to use components from left-over N64 controllers that were just lying around, doing nothing. And this year it was revealed how the DSi at one point supported two game cards at once….

… Along with a few other products that never made it out to market. I have no idea how Kotaku managed to come away with pictures, Nintendo and most everyone at the con when talking about such things is generally SUPER secretive and protective. But this is Mike McWhertor we’re talking about!

- Meanwhile, Sony also provided a number of highlights. Keita Takahashi was on-hand to talk about his latest creation, Noby Noby Boy, including how it was originally developed for the Xbox 360 but shifted to the PS3, mostly because the sticks on the controllers aren’t right next to each other on MS’s machine, along with a mention of an iPhone version that’s in the works. Be sure to check out Mike McWhertor’s selection of pulled quotes of course.

Then you had the guy behind Shadow of the Colossus, the guy behind No More Heroes, and one of the guys behind Fallout 3 all getting together. Gee, any guesses as to which of the three I could not have cared less about? At least he provided some unintentional comedy. And did we learn anything about what Team ICO has been brewing up for the PS3? Nope!

- The biggest star from Sony’s camp was easily Hideo Kojima. What he said can be found here and pics for those who might be interested can be found here. It’s really interesting! Though I guess the most noteworthy aspect of the presentation was how it very sowed the seeds of a gag, which I’ll touch upon later.

But yeah, even though I think his Meta Gear games are somewhat overrated, there’s a certain charm in all his work that’s hard to deny, and despite its rough edges, MGS4 still remains as the current sole reason to nab a PS3 for me. I guess I mostly like Kojima, since he appears to have a sense of humor about everything.

- What else? Oh, the Game Developers Choice Awards. You know, I recall being somewhat annoyed by the nominees and winners last year, and same goes for this year. Yes, LittleBigPlanet’s user generated content is awesome, I know, but the game itself totally blows! Also, I hear that Fallout 3 is great, but not that great.

At least there’s the far more interesting and satisfying Independent Games Festival Awards, though I am sad to say that I’ve been so busy that I just haven’t had a chance to check out any of the nominees and winners.

- Here’s two write-ups that I actually haven’t had a chance to go over myself, but I’m assuming they’re neat, and am posting them here as a reminder. Like this roundtable involving Peter Molyneux, Lorne Lanning, and Will Wright and this interview with Masaya Matsuura. Speaking of which, and not to get ahead, but Major Minor just came out! Anyone get it?

… Image courtesy of NeoGAF. Naturally. BTW, my interview with the other man behind it and PaRappa and UmJammer, Rodney Greenblat, should be going live on Gama any day now!

- The absolute best part of GDC last year was the Experimental Gameplay Session, and this year’s featured games sound particularly awesome. Especially Achron…

?Imagine an RTS where you can send your units back in time to destroy your opponent’s units before he?s even built them,? opened Chris Hazard, thoroughly confusing everyone in the audience, a confusion that never quite seemed to lift.

The game features multiple aspects of time travel — such as paradoxes and the requirement to send units either backwards or forwards in time to maintain causality; with characters even able to fight along side multiple future or past versions of itself — under the knowledge that any damage their past versions receive they also do.?

… As much of a sucker I am for old Nintendo tunes, times that by twelve for time travel shtick. BTW, going back to last year’s showing, which is where I learned about cursor*10, everyone’s played the sequel, right?

A close second in the “Oh dear God, I REALLY wish I could have gone” department was Game Design Challenge. Meanwhile, last year’s show ending rant session did nothing but make my eyes roll, and this year’s sounded just as obnoxious. Perhaps I shouldn’t say anything, since I’m pals with at least one of the people that participated, hence why I will not go into any details, but as much as I can’t help but groan whenever I hear a game developer bitch about his job, which at the end of the day could be FAR worse, I feel tens times as strong for game journalists. Cue my now overused example of some guy working his third shift in a row at McDonald’s that’s at least happy he’s not at some boring Square Enix press conference.

- Alright, enough about the GDC, though one last thing: many were predicting that Sony was going to lower the price of the PS3 at the show. And… nothing happened. Then a few days ago came word of a major announcement, and anticipation was once again raised. In the end, there was a price cut accounted! For the PS2. LOL. Why? Because apparently, Sony has lost all faith in fighting the Wii with their PS3, so here comes the PS2 to the rescue. Wow, just wow.

One final Sony/GDC related tidbit: during the show, Sony unveiled an alternative reality game for PlayStation Home. I actually find ARGs pretty neat, at least in theory (I actually tried to play Majestic a bunch of years ago… wasn’t all that fun), but one has to wonder if Sony even knows that the term “alternative reality game” means. Yeesh.

- At least Gomibako still looks hella awesome (I forget if I’ve mentioned it before, it’s that game that’s basically Tetris, but with trash)…

- Hey, Yuusha no Kuse Ni Namaikida (neat little PSP game, which is like a combination of Deception and Dig Dug) is coming to America apparently! As… Holy Invasion Of Privacy, Badman! Huh?

- Time to check out a bunch of game trailers. First, here’s The Munchables, a new upcoming title from Bandai Namco, that’s very much like Katamari Damacy, with a dash of Da Blob. Looks cute!

- Next up, anyone familiar with the world of vinyl toys is sure to recognize the name Scarygirl. Well, she’s getting a game!

- It’s kinda like Mega Man, except instead of shooting bad bots, he just explodes? It’s Explodemon!

- Remember me mentioning (and showing pics of) a very pretty Wii game called Muramasa: The Demon Blade? Time to see that beauty in action.

- And most have probably already seen/heard about this by now, but just in case, Katamari Tribute, the recently announced PS3 remake of the groundbreaking original. In addition to the re-done soundtrack by various big names (can’t wait for the YMCK track), the visuals are getting a re-touch, not just with an increase in resolution, but assorted graphic filters, as some might have noticed in the clip…

… I’m pretty surprised that there’s no 8-bit one. Also, and I know all diehard Katamari fans will want to punch me in the face for saying this, but I think it would be really neat if there was a photo-realistic level as well, though that would take more than just a simple graphic overlay. Again, the game is out of the creator’s hands, so why not go totally off the wall?

- Check this insane mod out: it’s a Famicom crammed into a NES cart…

… And on a related note, here’s a Genesis crammed into a Genesis cart…

- This particular entry’s “Oh God, if I only lived in Japan, then I could get my grubby mitts on this game!” would have to be Kimi to Boku to Rittai/You And Me Together, which just came out for WiiWare…

… Here’s one totally enticing clip and here’s yet another. Aside from looking stylish yet totally inviting as all hell (trust me, not an easy combination), it’s yet another game by Kenji Eno! My God, that guy’s on some roll! His iPhone games have simply been the best.

- Meanwhile, over on the PS3, has anyone else heard of Mainichi Issyo? Its pretty hard to describe. One source its part social network game, part Animal Crossing/Tamagotchi simulator, and part news reader?

Apparently, there’s all these “episodes” which I believe are commercials for games, and then you get some item to adorn your room. BTW, here’s a video of the thing in action. I have no idea what’s going on. Anyhow, anyone in America that’s interested in checking this out actually can. Details behind the means, as well as general info behind Mainichi Issyo in general, can be found here.

- Long story short, there’s this game I’m working on, which I really can’t talk about, other than how it utilizes procedurally generated visuals. And while doing some research for some examples, I came across this, which I thought was pretty neat.

- Hey, there’s now a new site dedicated to King of Fighters XII! Plus, a mess load of awesome new shots…

… Wicked. MUCH better looking than SF4 imho. And call me crazy, but after watching this behind the scenes, I now have some confidence in the upcoming live-action KOF movie. Don’t ask me why. Well, the director did helm Fist of Legend, arguably Jet Li’s best film ever.

- Guess what series I’m quietly ga-ga for? Gyakuten Saiban aka the Ace Attorney series! And I’m praying that the latest installment, Gyakuten Kenji, which features Miles Edgeworth as the lead, will come here as well (no reason it should I suppose).

Anyhow, some might have heard that in its motherland, there’s a musical based on the game, which is indeed true…

… You can read about it here, along with information regarding a bunch of other stage renditions of video games, including one of Dance Dance Revolution that ran here in NYC last year? Why the hell didn’t anyone tell me? I totally feel my credibility is totally blown.

Hey, guess this is as good a time as any for the following…

- Sticking with fusion of games and song, a few might recall the supremely awesome Street Fighter ditty a whiles ago. The artist is some dude named Hyadain and it’s basically his thing you could say. I’m fairly certain that I’ve featured one of his Mega Man arrangements before (everyone will have to excuse my poor memory, but given how I link to about 7,000 different YouTube vids a month on average, one tends to lose track after a while), but I believe this one is nice and fresh, plus it has English subtitles! That and it features the Bubble Man theme from MM2, arguably one of the most beloved Mega Man tunes of them all.

- Get this: apparently a few years ago, only in Japan of course, was a GameCube game called Ohenro-San, which… actually, how about I simply quote IGN’s description of the game: “Walk the ancient world as a Buddhist monk of the 8th and 9th century in this adventure/travel sim game for GameCube. Put the miles of trekking on your feet and experience the travels for real with the use of an optional walking pad controller.”

… Gee, remind anyone of anything?

- The Minus World has actually been on a roll as of late, and their latest piece might be my favorite: the top nine game related OCD activities that we’re all guilty off. I’m DEFINITELY guilty of numbers 5, 4, and 1. Though number 3 is sorta like how certain people, when they hear the name Katamari, instantly starting singing the theme song, meaning they both send douche chills down my spin. Sorry, but true.

- Time to head on over to NeoGAF! Many question all the time I spend there, and my only response to that is how there is some genuinely awesome stuff to be found, which simply requires a certain degree of digging, which I do for you all because I love my readers. Anyhow, recently highlights include…

… Many of our favorite games have evolved over the years visually, and here’s a nice little thread with plenty of examples.

… Then there’s this one for a Donkey Kong 2, and it’s playable at Funspot?

Hey Jason, we’re going back this summer, right?

… On a related note, here we have an oldie, but still very much a goodie, and which I’ve been meaning to passing along for some time now: a rundown of various killer sound (and looking) rom hacks.

Nothing to crazy is included to be honest, mostly Mario, Sonic, and Zelda stuff, but almost all of it looks really awesome, ESPECIALLY the Sonic stuff. Like the totally homebrew Sonic CD title? Yikes!

… Though my current favorite topic would have to be the sexy hardware thread. And I totally believe that there’s nothing hotter than the original Genesis design. Nothing. Anyway, here’s my contribution, which was a bit of a minor hit.

- And finally, just the other day was April 1st, which traditionally in the world of video games meant an avalanche of fake video game items, some meant to be obvious jokes, other meant to be the real thing. And almost none of them this year was particularly entertaining. Though from Kotaku’s own round-up, I don’t seem to see any fake announcement of a Shenmue 3, thank goodness.

The Companion Cube in God of War PSP was pretty neat, if only because people actually had to go through the trouble of piecing something together and not just rely on a wacky Photoshop job like virtually everyone else. I also really dug this one courtesy of Stephen Totilo (which I just realized I was supposed to go drinking with earlier tonight…. oops) centered on Mother 3.

Yet the winner for this year has to go to Hideo Kojima. Mostly for capitalizing on all the buzz that he may or may not have created via his presentation at the GDC, all stemming from one very tiny little detail, as pictured previously. Which led to this. Note: only hardcore Kojima/MGS nerds need click that previous link. Though those same people will probably also be reminded of this.

And for a while now, all those who were excited over the possibility of a real-deal Metal Gear Raiden game was expecting something along the lines of this.

… Alright, that’s it for me! I’ll be back after the big show with my report. Have a good one!

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