03/28/2014

Am Waiting For The Criminally Overdue Sword & Sworcery + Ranma 1/2 Mash-Up

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Without boring everyone with a long story (and it’s not like I can really share the details anyway) it’s been kind of a sh*tty week. So at this point, all I feel like doing is easing into the weekend by vegging out on some silly, random video game vids. And perhaps some of you out there are in the same boat?

- Ever wondered what it’s like for Cloud, of Final Fantasy 7 fame, to go grocery shopping? Probably not, but Let Animation Domination High-Def show you anyway, and shouts to both Heather Anne Campbell who wrote the following, plus Mariel Cartwright, who was the storyboard director:

- As neat as Surgeon Simulator might be, I’m far more interested in playing this buggy version that the game’s developers are putting through the paces here:

- Speaking of iOS, the one game I’m currently addicted to (though it’s actually played in a browser) was the best thing to come out of the Flappy Jam that took place a while back, aka Ridiculous Glitching (which you can play right here):

- On a somewhat similar note: Princess Punt is an RPG with Angry Birds-esque gameplay. So you’re basically a princess, as the title implies, who kicks soldiers at enemies, again like the name of the game indicates. Though the Japanese version (the game’s on iOS, btw) allows you to kick members of the Survey Corps at Titans, from Attack On Titan:

- Back to Flappy Bird: back in the day, when I used to regularly write for MTV and Guyism, I used to post wacky Grand Theft Auto 4 mods all the time. And I had either of those gigs, I would have passed along the following:

- You’re probably familiar with Team Rocket, but what about Team Rogket? BTW, this Destructoid link should answer any questions. Maybe:

- Here we have the Many-World hypothesis illustrated in the form of a video that details 134 separate attempts to completing a level from some Super Mario World hack, one that’s been around for ages (Discover Magazine has the 411 in this instance):

- And finally, an extremely DIY rap song that utilizes my favorite track in Sonic 1. Kotaku just posted this one, which means it’ll probably have a million views by the time anyone sees it here, but given that he’s from my old stopping grounds, Sea-Tac, I kinda have to pass it along. I wonder if he’s friends with Sir-Mix-A-Lot?

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03/21/2014

What Blanka Would Look Like If He Was Korean

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

It’s been an interesting week to say the least…

This was going to be the first official post from my new home. The Great White North, aka Toronto, Canada to be exact. Instead I’m still here in New York City. Was actually in Toronto earlier this week, for all of six hours. Due to “complications at the border”, I was forced to head back to the US of A.

The exact reasons are rather, well, complicated; even though no one has advised me to do so, I’m going to keep the details offline, at least until my immigrations woes have been cleared. So, until then… how about another installment of totally random, video game-related theater?

- First, want to what know my biggest beef with opening ceremonies at the Sochi Winter Games was? No Russian dolls, no Yakov Smirnoff, and especially no Tetris! Thankfully the closing ceremonies for the Sochi Paralympic Winter Games fixed the latter omission:

- Kotaku recently posted an article about how the Famicom Disk System works (they suggest it could be what helps the ailing Wii U). Anyhow, one of the accompanying vids is a clip of the Disk Writing software in action, and in typical Nintendo fashion, it’s mighty cute:

- On a similar note, Kotaku also recently posted a bunch of Japanese commercials for all their consoles over the years. Many are awesome, but this one for the Arcadia 2001 is perhaps my favorite, if not for the two super cute (and minds ‘a blown) kids:

- Here’s a music video I posted on the Attract Mode blog, which I spotted on Twitter, but didn’t realize that said person originally saw it on Tiny Cart, hence why the post deleted after only going live for five minutes (so only maybe 2 people noticed; be sure to check out Tiny Cart’s link for the proper way to watch the vid, btw):

- So I’m a Mac guy; though I have Windows install on my MBP whenever I feel the need to play some games (though I end up spending half the time installing the latest update). Note to self; next time I boot into Win7 to play Shoot the Bullet, should also install this Shenmue screensaver:

- I don’t know what’s sillier; someone recreating Seinfeld’s apartment for the Oculus Rift, or the fact that the following vid doesn’t have music from the show:

- Time for an oldie but goodie, though mostly cuz I’ve had the Korean live-action Street Fighter 2 theme stuck in my head for the past week, please God make it stop:

- And finally, a question: have you ever modded your console? If no, is it because you find the technical side of things a bit intimidating? Well, the key to that is to start small and work your way up. And his most certainly is the tiniest of first steps:

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02/21/2014

Bletting the Medlars

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Well tonight was a total let down.

With less than two weeks to go before I abandon New York City for Toronto, Canada (as first noted in my most recent edition of totally random, video game-related theater) I’m trying to do as much as possible, and that includes tying up loose ends.

And that includes completing my quest to finally see what appears to be the most bat-sh*t insane movie ever. As well as the most underground, which is no small feat these days.

So you wouldn’t believe how delighted I was when another email from ”Lucien” arrived in my inbox, completely out of the blue. The last I heard from the guy was almost four years ago. I’m assuming my most recent Canzo Empyrean mention is what got me back on his radar, or so I believe.

Anyhow, was given specific coordinates and an exact time to be at. And so I went, at the right and the right place. Here’s the view when I first got there…

Here I am, at the Railroad Te, otherwise known as the Riverdale Metro North train station. That’s where I waited. And waited. And waited some more. At a certain point I began looking around, for clues.

Like the New Circassian symbol, used viles of Citrus Blue, slivers of Lavandinum, Nart bones, or an errand copy of Philosophy of Hot Tub by Shammi Morrone. But nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Once the sun had set and the cold started seeping in, I decided to make my exit. Perhaps I should have stayed all night long. To be honest, if I wasn’t under such a time crunch, I easily would have. But like I said, I have places to go, people to see.

Though as I slowly made my way back, I kept my eye on this bridge, where I did most of my waiting, for any sign of “Dr. Canzo”…

So Lucien/Dr. Canzo, Canzo Harry, Mr. Useless, Tony The Dancer, & whomever else:

Once again, I must state how disappointed I am. A build up with no conclusion or pay off, that’s always the worst. Am not sure if any recent actions on my part were out of line… Actually, I perhaps did something that could be considered reckless.

But given how precious a commodity my time is these days, and especially how unwavering my faith has been since my day one of my Canzo, some five years ago, I do believe being pro-active is perhaps warranted, maybe justified?

I am determined to see Zartan’s fall, for the glory of Bruxsa Commander. Please tell me the next step.

- Matt Hawkins

UPDATE: Finally got a response from Lucien/Dr. Canzo:

“YOU failed”

Have I? Because my canzo is far from over me thinks. In fact, I’ve only just begun.

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