07/07/2004

Yes, It’s Moby Dick… Every Word Of It

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Here’s a few more odds and ends, this time not video game related:

- Yesterday was the premiere of Crossballs, a satirical take on debate shows (the title’s a combination of Crossfire and Hardball in case you couldn’t guess it) which pits people with oppsoing views, with the catch being that one side is really a comic actor and the other is not in on the joke. As one would expect, the comic’s views are often irrational, and other “experts” will come on, who are supposed to be non-partial, but end up defending the comic’s side with even more ridiculous facts and opinions.

The show was simply “okay”. The only reason I even made an effort to catch the premiere in the first place was to see the return of Matt Besser to television, whom I’m a big fan of from his days as a member of the Upright Citizens Brigade. Besser (of course) was fun to watch since the guy has a true talent for getting under people’s skin, which oddly enough made his outlandish character somewhat believable, whereas everyone else is simply not as gifted a performers, and therefore are not only unconvincing, but just not as funny.

Then again, it was only one episode, and it didn’t even feature Jerry Minor, who’s pretty decent. Hopefully, they’ll keep Besser as a focal point. Perhaps the show will grow on my like Tough Crowd.

- I keep seeing ads for the Butterfly Affect on DVD. As far as I can tell, it’s about some guy who figures out who to go back in time using just his mind to prevent the death of his girlfriend, but something goes wrong (she ends up a whore or something), so he tries again, but things get further fucked up, so he tries again, and again, and etc. To be honest, I find the concept rather interesting because it’s all done through his mind (hey, as I’ve said countless times, I’m a sucker for time travel stories, no matter how far fetched the method). It seems to have a bit of a Donnie Darko vibe going on.

But the reason why I never saw it ther first time around, and why I never will, is due to it’s lead, Ashton Kutcher. I was never found the guy that annoying on That 70′s Show (course, I was far too busy staring at his delectable redheaded costar to really take notice of they guy anyway), but once he starting getting popular due to his MTV vehicle Pranked and began popping all over the place (wasn’t he Puff Daddy’s best white friend for a while or something?), I too began to hate him like the rest of world.

Though when the movie was set to come out, I seriously considered checking my contempt at the door and seeing it anyways. I thought just maybe Kutcher might be a decent actor afterall, and this film would prove it. After seeing Mark Wahlberg rise from the ashes in Boogie Nights, I’m always willing to give anyone a second chance, no matter how fucking annoying I think someone might be (and MTV has a real knack of making anyone detestable). But then I heard his performance pretty much single handley ruined the film and that more or less ended any interest in gambling two hours of my liffe. Real shame too, since I still dig the concept…

- I know I’m getting old when my initial reaction to the news of a brand new talk show starring Alf was not of total euphoria but of contempt. What’s next, a Night Court anime?

Hold on… that would actually rock now that I think of it!

- At work today, I came across a guy who’s just might be my new hero:

What’s that contraption he’s wearing? Why it’s only the greatest invention on this green earth since the air conditioner (and ketchup), the Argus 54/120 Power Harness. And you can yours on eBay right here.

Besides inventing a wondrous tool to help us all become more productive, he also seeks to enrich our minds as well, as evidenced by the inclusion of the entire screenplay of Batman Forever in this auction, and the all of Moby Dick for this one.

Plus he’s an artist too; check out this melted time keeper, which not only serves as a stirring tribute to Salvador Dali, but sorta looks like a vagina as well.

- Found out that a Millennium DVD box set is finally on it way! The show aired in the mid to late 90′s and starred Lance Henriksen as a man who could see inside the minds of deviants and used this power for (and later against) a clandestine organization that had affiliations to the Nazis and the Free Masons, among others. It was created by Chris Carter of X-Files fame and was easily one of my favorite shows at the time, hence why this is such awesome news. Trying to find info on the show was one of my first obsessions when embracing the internet in late ’99, which was nearly impossible due to the whole Y2K thing at the time.

Hopefully it will do well enough to warrant the release of season two; that season’s last episode is still one of the best hours of television I have ever seen. Plus, I might even pick up season three (the show only lasted three years) if it comes, since I think the Jose Chung episode (a cult character from X-Files) was from that year. Maybe they’ll even throw in that episode of X-Files that wrapped up Frank Black’s story, even if it was a lame story about zombies.

- Finally, and also at work today, the department head announced he was going on vacation starting next week. You know what that means, right? Time for a PIRATE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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07/07/2004

The Past Lives On…

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Real quick, here’s a few other video gaming related odd and ends:

- The latest line of Famicom Minis were just announced in Japan (which are old Famicom games released for the GBA, better known on these shores as the NES Classic Series) and it includes Palthena’s Mirror, a.k.a., Kid Icarus (YES!). Also of note is the original Castlevania, which increases the chances of seeing Gradius later down the road (and Life Force if there really is a God). I certainly hope Capcom decides to jump on the Origin Of Our TV Games bandwagon with releases of Mega Man 1, 2, and 3 (hey, they’ll release any game any ridiculous amount of times if they think it’ll make money).

There’s also Super Mario Bros. 2, though that’s more than likely the Japanese version (see here in Super Mario All Stars as Lost Levels) and not the one we got in America, which was originally Doki Doki Panic (and later re-released in Japan as Super Mario USA). Though I certainly hope Nintendo doesn’t forget what helped get the GBA on the map: releasing old Super Nintendo Mario games. I’m still waiting for my All Star edition of SMB1 dammit.

Plus there’s the original Metroid, which I technically already have via Metroid Zero Mission, but I may pick it up just for the awesome box alone. Yes, I am a sucker…

- Speaking of Metroid, someone has made a patch that gives Metroid 2 for the original Game Boy a full color face lift, bringing it up to the visual level of Super Mario Bros. DX and Legend of Zelda DX (surpassing it in my opnion).

This is awesome news cuz I had Metroid 2 and simply could not get anywhere due to the monochrome game’s very similar looking, and therefore very confusing, levels. Unfortunately, one needs a PC to apply the patch (I’m on a Mac) to turn the regular Metroid 2 ROM into “Metroid 2 DX”, but I’m sure I can figure something out. Found this news via Insert Credit.

- And via Game Critics comes a look into the minds of the booth babes of E3. Best response regarding how it feels to pose for so many sweaty (and horny) fan boys was easily:

“It’s weird when they put their arms around me,” she replies…”but then I feel them shaking and I’m like, whatever, if it’s so important to you . . . it’s funny when guys come up to me and tell me that it’s their first time touching a girl.”.

For the most part, the women find the guys, who for the most part are very much not used to girls, “cute” which is nice to hear I guess, that these women don’t mind objectifying themselves to make a lonely geek’s day. Though does it still excuse the objectification of women. Of course not. So on that note, here’s a pic of my favorite booth babe, some girl playing the role of Resident Evil, Jill Valentine.

NOTE: Okay, for the record, anyone who really knows me is well aware of my genuine disdain for the very existence of booth babes and such, but c’mon….. look at her! She’s soooo cute! Not like the wannabe porn stars that normally make up the lot.

And for those who really knows me is well aware of how ga-ga I get over girls who engage in Resident Evil cosplay, especially every year at Icon, at least ever since that ultra cute Claire Redfield started showing up. But I digress….

- Apparently Sega is going to start selling their USB Saturn pads, which are for PCs and Macs (in Japan, of course). Before, it was only available as a pre-order bonus if you got Puyo Pop Fever for OS X (in Japan, of course). I came pretty close to forking over around $58 to Nation Console Support for the game just for the controller, so this is great news.

Even better is how the new pad is all white (the original USB pad had the same color scheme of the original Japanese Saturn, which was grey with blue buttons) so it should match my eMac quite nicely. Plus now I won’t have to go through the trouble of actually making my own.

- Apparently, a novel based upon the PlayStation 2 game Ico just came out in Japan, and I hear it’s doing rather well (it’s in the top ten bestsellers list I believe). Sadly, there’s still no word if a sequel is indeed in the production, despite all signs showing that the team was working on a game called “Nico”. Plus I’m still trying to get a copy of the PowerPoint presentation from this past year’s game Developers Conference in which the creator spoke and used production assets from the PSone version.

- Also found from Insert Credit that a Dreamcast emulation magazine might be on its way, and that there would even be a demo disk included! It’s amazing how thriving the DC emu scene is. Turn out that having Windows CE in the machine was not such a bad move afterall, the disappointing port of Sega Rally 2 not withstanding.

- Staying on the Dreamcast racing tip, here’s a site that has pics, and even movies, from a demo of Scud Race/Super GT running off Dreamcast hardware! It’s actually running off an early build of the developmental kit, which was about 40% of the capabilities of the final DC system.

Considering that the demo was created in a matter of weeks, and on hardware which was already inferior to the arcade architecture in which the original came from, and which would later become more powerful, just imagine if AM2 actually went ahead with the game? All these pics simply makes me wonder even more so why Sega never bothered to port more of their Model 3 arcade games to the home system, like Daytona 2, Emergency Call Ambulance, and Star Wars Trilogy. Guess AM2 themselves were too busy with Shenmue, hence the decision to give Virtua Fighter 3 to Genki, which was a bad move (VF3 should have been a priority for AM2). Hell, what about Jambo! Safari, Planet Harriers, Star Wars Arcade Racer, or Virtual On Force?

These shots (which I’ve posted below since the site is extremely slow and often down) and are almost liking seeing those very early pics of Daytona 1 running on Saturn way back in the days. Weren’t they at 40% as well? The game I mean, not the hardware, which at that point was finalized I believe. But the difference here is that the home version of Scud Race was extremely close to it’s arcade counterpart, whereas Saturn Daytona simply could not compare to the majestic arcade iteration. Of course, at least Saturn Daytona had an excuse; it’s a Model 2 game. Can’t say the same for Saturn Virtua Racing, which was a Model 1 game….

Special thanks to GigaDrive from the Gaming Age Forum for the info!

- And finally, starting tomorrow, and until Thursday, the Computer Art Department at SVA will play host to Nintendo. One of my lab assistants is a member of the Nintendo Street Crew and they need to “borrow” our facilities for some unspecified reason. Even though I love Nintendo, and have always have nothing but great dealing with them professionally, I still have a bad feeling about this…

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07/06/2004

Dead Mario Walking

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Here’s an article which talks about a specially hacked version of Super Mario Bros. that was created for a Canadian art exhibit a few months ago. The game features no enemies, power ups, pits, or stuff to climb over, and there’s just one level that simply loops. But Mario can still do everything he normally can, expect with no obstacles or objectives to deal with, all the player can really do is simply keeping running till the clock runs out.

The article examines how game players reacted in such an environment. Some kept running till they died, some simply walked, some just stood there, and others moved about in ways to keep themselves occupied until it was all over. Basically, the game gave these people a very specific amount of time to live, and how they chose to spend it reflected their personalities. Also interesting was how there was one single treasure block presented in the level early on, but in the ground, and totally inaccessible, and how some reacted to that as well.

In addition to discussing how people found ways to entertain themselves in the face of certain death, the article touched upon players who enjoy games without any set goals or criteria, which then led to a mention of people will often exploit bugs and glitches to go where they couldn’t or shouldn’t.

This of course led me to recallr all those rooms in Super Mario 64 that are nothing but empty, black space, specifically the thrill of finally reaching one, and the genuine sense of eeriness of exploring the negative space, until you could go no further and the game simply crashed.

Plus there’s all those “extra” rooms in the original Metroid which one can access by jumping through the top of doors.

The article also led me to remember another artsy video game event, the Tekken Torture Tournament, which was held in New York City last fall. Two people face off against each other in Tekken 3 while hooked up to electrodes. Whenever a hit is delivered, the recipient also gets an electric shock. It was pretty wild to watch, especially near the end, when the electricity level were pretty high. I really wanted to participate, but there was just too many people ahead of me. Plus you had to sign a waver, and I do have sort of a iffy heart, so perhaps it was for the best I didn’t participate.

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