03/06/2006

At Least I’ll Always Have Popeye…

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

The weekend?

- Didn’t get a chance to meet up with Mike (O’Connor, a.k.a. dhex) on Friday night for drinks, which was a bummer. He was held over at work, but I always have shit to do, so I got to take care of some of that, which was good in the end. Mostly worked on the book, though I also got caught up on game-related odds and ends over the past few weeks (hey, its all “research” in the end).

- Also, I wasn’t feeling so hot due to earlier in the afternoon. One of my thesis students is concentrating on level design, and is using the Unreal engine. So I played through her project and immediately became nauseous. I think I’ve already mentioned my inability to play first person shooters due to the motion sickness that results, hence why I won’t give any more than five minutes, tops. But since it was a student project, one of my own, I stuck it out and played as much as I could stomach before I felt like I was going to throw up, which wasn’t much longer than five actually, and spent the rest of the day feeling super sick and dizzy. Its hard to explain why this happens, but I believe it has something to do with the brain not being able to put together the visual sensation of moving while the body stays stationary (I hear its an Asian thing, hence why FPSs are not that popular in Japan for example). But yeah… it really sucks. Its like a chef who’s allergic to certain foods.

I believe the illness is also related to moving in one direction, yet looking another, often wildly about. Hence why Metroid Prime never seems to get me dizzy due to its very controlled means of looking, while Ratchet & Clank, a third person platformer ends up making me want to throw up after a while due to camera going all over the place (which the players controls himself, so I guess that’s my fault them, but you have to move it like every 15 second to see where the hell you are).

- On Saturday, MK & I went over to Rocketship where I picked up Bryan Lee O’Malley’s Lost at Sea, which I’ve been meaning to since forever. I was also delighted to discover that Marvel is reprinting the old Marvel Universe series under its economical Essential imprint. For those who don’t know, or have forgotten, Marvel Universe was Marvel’s attempt at an encyclopedia of its universe, featuring profiles over ever single character, no matter how mundane or insignificant. There’s just something that’s fascinating about having the height, weight, marriage status, and life history of some lame-ass lame-ass villain that only appeared in issues #16 and #37 of Avengers West Coast whom I never knew existed at the tip of your fingertips.

- We also watched Survive Style 5+ on DVD, which I gave to MK for her birthday last week. It’s hard to describe (though I already tried to once before), but you’ll just have to take my word for it that its pretty amazing. And we stayed up till 3 for the classic SNL that definitely paid of thanks to both a Wayne’s World and a Sprockets sketch. Plus there was even an anal retentive carpenter sketch, and MK was less than surprised to hear that the character was a hero of mine growing up.

- The next day began in disappointment as I got outbid on eBay for a long out of print copy of the Iron Man Armor Wars trade-paperback. Once again, why in the fuck has Marvel, which has preprinted pretty much their entire back catalogue up till this point, not touched this one thing?! Is there a real reason for this? Does Marvel hate the folks behind the book, or do they just hate Iron Man? Lord knows, its the truly last good Iron Man epic, before the ultra boring Armor Wars 2, or how he turned all evil and was later replaced by his teenage self in an alternate dimension (which was up there with the Spider Clone saga in terms of pure stupidity).

And then when I decided to finally get a Tron hooded sweatshirt that I’ve been eyeing one of a while now (since I hadn’t purchased the Iron Man trade, I had some “money to spare”… awesome logic, huh?), I discovered that it was only available in small. Double bummer…

… Of course, if anyone knows where else I can find it, I’d be very much appreciative.

Afterwards, MK & I went for food, and in an attempt to do something different, we stumbled across the Union Smith Cafe, which is right at the corner of, funny enough, Union and Smith, not too far from Rocketship actually. I swear to God, best fucking BLT ever. And the apple crisp was insanely delicious. Then we drove into the city for Joe’s, but when MK realized that she had forgotten her sketchbook at my place (she was heading home later in the evening), I got dropped off near the Giant Robot store while she went back to my place. And I ended up buying assorted designer toys and spending money that I really shouldn’t (but then again, I did have money to spare, remember?) including another member of the Knock Man family and a Bastardino, which is little dog in a cactus suit (pictured in the middle here).

Once done shopping, I was just in time for…

- The Oscar’s was last night, which meant another Oscar party at Joe’s. Its basically “our” super bowl, and when you consider how mind-blowingly boring and lame it usually is, the only way to stomach the entire 3 hour+ affair is to have some beer, snacks, and like minded folks to help yell at the television, which included myself and Joe, June, Mike Moosehead (from the BDF, Blackout Shopper, Ebola Borealis, and about seven other NY punk bands) plus MK. Unfortunately “Brokeback” Jay decided to sit this one out…

The big thing going into last night’s show was seeing how badly Jon Stewart would bomb, and bomb he did indeed. Was it his fault? Of course not, and anyone could have predicted a lackluster performance given the Oscar’s uptight and ultra conservative attitude. Its pretty obvious that they hired Stewart because he’s “hip with the kids” and figured that the association would help them drop their stuffy, old white guy stigma, but without actually checking what he does of course. And once they finally realized that his main shtick is giving President Bush grief and pointing out how asinine the war in Iraq is, how do you think they reacted? By putting him on a leash, as was evident all last night. There were points where he clearly regretted his decision to get involved. It also doesn’t help that practically everyone in that room was full of themselves and are seemingly unable to take a joke at their expense (some folks literally looked as if they had sticks up their asses). Stewart’s brand of biting, self-abrasive New York humor just does not fly in Hollywood (just as it didn’t with Chris Rock last year and David Letterman ten years before him). Though another big reason to watch Robert Altman recieve his honorary Oscar, and to see if Popeye would be mentioned at all. And lo and behold, among all the Nashville, MASH, and Gosford Park scenes was one very quick clip of Robin Williams as sailor with a speech impediment, fucked up eye, and gigantism, which got a huge cheer from us all.

Otherwise, I’d have to say that last night’s was perhaps the most boring Oscars ever. An overabundance of montages that highlight “magical movie moments” to help Hollywood further suck its own dick is nothing new, but everything seemed even more hollow that usual. As for the nominees and winners, I actually hardly saw any of the films nominated in the major categories, though I did catch Walk the Line, and while Reese Witherspoon was good, she wasn’t that good. The one which I missed, but really wish I hadn’t was Constant Gardner, but that’s because I love the director’s previous work, City of God (which, I’m sorry, should have gotten best pictures back in 2003, not Lord of the Rings… I liked Return of the Kings and all, but come on now). As for the best picture, Crash, its definitely one of those films that I have absolutely no desire to see, since it seems to be one of those heavy-handed, preachy “eye-opening” flick that uncovers America’s problem with racism, which I guess is pretty eye-opening if you’ve lived under a rock for the past how many years now?

But since we know it’s going to be stupid as hell, then why watch it year after year? Because film geeks, like all other types of geeks out there, are just like catty girls, who like to point and laugh and tear people apart for shits and giggles. Period.

- Anyway, March is finally here, and its going to be hella busy month. In a little over two weeks is ICON, and as most people know by now, that both MK and myself are slated to appear (there’s finally a page for MK). Around that time is the Game Developers Conference, and quite a few folks have been asking me if I’m attending. And unfortunately, while it certain seemed like it for a while, those plans have changed. And on a related note….

I also will be apart of this year’s 24 hour game design jam at Parson’s, which is now called the Mobile Game Mosh. Once again, I will be on-hand the entire 24 hours to report the action on the behalf of Gamasutra, as well as perhaps lend a hand to the various groups by offering a few pointers when it comes to the design side of things.

Some might recall me helping out the team from SVA and being their captain of sorts (and also winning the prize for best visual design). Well this year, I will not be representing SVA because there will not a team from the School of Visual Arts.

Also, once I have fulfilled my duties as senior thesis advisor to the pair of students that are working on game related project, the end of this school semester will effectively end my teaching career at SVA. I’m not sure what my next move will be, if I will pursue teaching or not, and where, but I will say that’s it been fun while it lasted.

1 comment

03/02/2006

“I just want it to be over.”

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

… That was one person’s sentiment at the Gaming Age Forums regarding the latest development in the MGS 3 Subsistence Pre-Order cluster-fuck (which was previously outlined last week).

Now its been reported that some GameStops and EBs have already received the 4th “bonus” disc ahead of time, and its available for pick-up, plus has been shipped to online pre-orders. Once again, this disc contains a behind the scenes documentary, starring Hideo Kojima himself (which I hear is quite good), plus a bunch of MGS trailers, including the upcoming part 4. I called the EB in which I ordered from to see if its in, and was told no (plus the person seemed somewhat annoyed by the inquiry… not a good sign). But reports due state that it has shown up in NYC stores…

So the basic fear is that folks who went through all the fucking trouble to order the damn thing, especially once the Limited Edition package was quietly discontinued, which set MGS fan scrambling for a viable source, such as myself once again, will may not get the complete package because a part of it is now out there before the rest, and as we know, communication between Konami and the retailers have been piss poor, plus we already know how bad it already is between the stores and the consumers. When you go to a brick & mortar GameStop or EB, most folks who work there don’t know what the hell you are talking about anyway on any given day, and this new development just makes thing even more needlessly complicated (the fact that info on the 3rd and 4th disc have been mistakenly swapped on at least one of their sites certainly does not help).

Once again: what a fucking mess. I can’t believe how Konami can fuck things up even further, yet they have, and all signs point towards things getting much, much worse. And I just don’t have the time and energy to check message boards every five minutes and call EB every ten minutes to see what the situation is. I’m already facing the cold hard (and excessively stupid) truth that on the 15th, when the game is due, I’m going to have to drop whatever I’m doing once I know its actually at the store and literally run to get it. Yeah, reserving in advance (remember, I paid in full for on package, and put down money towards a second), is supposed to guarantee me everything, but anyone who’s gone through this song and dance before with any major game retailer knows its all bullshit.

In the end, I’m most pissed at myself for getting so damn worked up in the first place. At least I don’t live in Canada… they’re not getting anything, period.

6 comments

03/01/2006

That’s Entertainment

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Oh, something else that’s also really old, yet people won’t stop talking about is last Friday’s Penny Arcade strip. It managed to piss off and confuse a lot of folks. Here’s it is, and for those who need it explanation (specifically for those who don’t know their Mega Man history), here it is:

In 1993 Capcom released Mega Man X, the first SNES installment of the ultra popular Mega Man series. The last one to come out was Mega Man 6 for the NES, where the franchise was born, just a few months prior to the release of X, in late 93 (in Japan at least, whereas in America, 6 came out after X in 94). Mega Man X, though somewhat connected with the original series, was a fresh new start of sorts, incorporating new play mechanics, different characters and backstory, etc. So while some believed that X meant the Roman numeral ten, its wasn’t the case here (Mega Man was actually called “X” in this new series).

Meanwhile, the original series did continue a bit further, with part 7 appearing on the SNES, plus 8 on the PSOne, and Saturn. The final “old school” Mega Man game was Mega Man & Bass, which appeared on the Super Famicom, and later on the GBA. Some thought this might be Mega Man 9, but it was more of a side story and sort of a half-remake of part 8. But for the longest time, and still today, people are hoping for a proper part 9, to bridge the two series. Hell, I’ve even thought of doing a comic that would do just that… me and about a few thousand other Mega Man nerds. Hence why some still think Mega Man X as Mega Man 10, either jokingly or mistakenly. Which is what the strip plays off of.

But it would seem that most people did not get it. Many actually believed that Gabe & Tycho, the guys behind the strip, actually believe that Mega Man X is part 10, and have gone and on and one about how stupid they are, via countless message board rants and angry emails to the PA guys. Most of this is coming from uptight Mega Man dorks of course. Am I am too, hence why I’m even brining it up in the first place.

All this also washes away any interest in doing any sort of Mega Man 9 comic. The last thing I need is the masses of MegaManHQ.net breathing down my neck and burning me in effigy online. I get that already from furries.

Also, in something more current, here’s the trailer for the newest Studio Ghibli film, Tale from the Earth Sea, directed by Miyazaki’s son.

It looks okay. Pretty standard Miyazaki-fare, really. But…. and here’s where everyone starts throwing rocks at my head once again…. as much as I am a fan of the Miyazaki’s flicks, the formula has been getting a tiny bit stale ever since Spirited Away: young naive girl, in the thick of things, such as a war, there’s some shadowy figures, and maybe a cute boy, perhaps a steed, with magic involved. Is that such a bad thing? Not necessarily. I’m still eager to check it out, plus I’m almost certain that it’ll be the best animated film of this year. Just throwing in my two cents.

I also wanted to pass along a fucking awesome vid that MK sent me a few days back in which Adam West, as Batman, but also wearing a tracksuit, appeared on an old Memphis wrestling show to confront Jerry “the King” Lawler, for stealing his pal’s gimmick (whom he referred to as “Supes”), and who then showed up as “SuperKing”, but that vid seems to have been taken down from YouTube for some reason.

I’m also shocked and dismayed that the BBC furry documentary that I linked to not that long ago is also missing in action. But I at least have a copy of that on my hard drive and will attempt to re-upload it myself (because the world needs to see that video). But there’s still plenty of other stuff to enjoy, such these fine selections of various kooky crap, mostly from Japan, and all of which were dug up at insert credit (and which everyone should check out as soon as possible, since you never know how long they’ll be there), including…

- a De La Soul video featuring PaRappa the Rapper.
- the long lost trailer to the live action American Sailor Moon show that never happened
- some truly superb Japanese wrestling, featuring the Hustles Ranger vs the Monster Army! Its a long clip, but trust me, it’s SO worth it.
- along with a music video starring the man himself, Hard Gay!
- girls from some J-Pop group called Morning Musume on a Japanese variety show, seriously freaking out over a clip from the Ring; its a GoogleVideo clip, not YouTube, but who cares, right?
- an entire fan-subbed episode of the Japanese Spider-Man show from the 70′s.
- another Japanese music video, this time from the always awesome Ken Ishii (this one brilliantly uses Space Invaders for ant-war message… another must see).
- some more Ken Ishii, which is an oldie, but goodie.
- yet another classic vid, and another De La clip (back when I was still heavily into rap).
- a third classic song, but a different vid from Dschingis Khan.
- the intro from some cheesy kung-fu show starring some monkey guy.
- … and finally, some really old school (and experimental) anime from the creator of AstroBoy.

… I just realized that tonight is another game night at gameLab, but since its Wednesday, it conflicts with movie night (which also conflicts with Katie’s radio show… I hate how everything happens on a Wednesday). As much as I love free pizza and beer and playing board games, I just feel like watching a movie tonight (plus some more high definition Monty Python). Plus, I just don’t feel like explaining to folks once again why I’m not going to this years Game Developers Conference. Simply answer: its too Goddamn expensive. Seriously, why exactly is that much?

3 comments