I was originally going to pass along my report of Friday night’s chiptunes cruise, either later tonight or sometime tomorrow. But before that…
Last night, my roommate threw a party for her boyfriend’s best friend, and I hung out with some old friends of mine, and for whatever reason, told them about my MakeOutClub days, which they found interesting, as does most people who hear about it. Which is why I decided to write it up for the forums, and because I believe it to be… “good advice” to some, I figured it’s worth sharing here. And here we go:
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I’ve already passed this along to friends, but I figured the rest of you folks would get a kick out of it: Sorry, file not found! To protect the innocent, at least to a certain degree, I’m keeping a link to the file that has the pictures of all the girls I chatted with (there’s like seriously close to 300 of them) safe and sound in the “hidden” section, i.e. Hermione’s Chamber of Secrets. So those who are dying to check it out… you know the drill! Gotta sign up for the forums. I will say though, that about 80% have glasses, which I guess is no surprise to most who know me personally. But anyhow…
Back in 2001-03, when I was mostly unemployed (I was totally jobless between 01-02 due to “you know what”), I spent a LOT of time online, primarily to look for work, but mostly to flirt with girls. That was when makeoutclub first hit, which gets no credit for leading the path that since Friendster, MySpace, and Facebook has forged in terms of giving cute, college girls a means to hook up with random dudes on the internet, and not just those found in their dorms, who may or may not have the same “tastes” as them. The site was originally conceived as a means for those who liked the same music as a means to network, so if they?re in some foreign city to catch some faggy emo band, then they could maybe find a place to sleep. The name itself was derived from a lyric by some emo band, which naturally lent itself to another meaning, which believe it nor, was totally lost on some of its users.
My days broke down like this: spent an hour or so surfing job sites, maybe another checking out various other websites (mind you, this was before the days of YouTube and link-logs, so things were a bit more wilder and less organized, plus I had dial up and didn?t know about message boards, so I spent less time just goofing around in general), spent a couple hours playing games (mostly Rez, which I was super into at that point), maybe a few more to watch TV (I had digital cable, and had Noggin, which was playing Pete & Pete at the time, plus G4 had just started and it wasn?t completely wretched at the very beginning). The rest of my time was spent chatting with girls. For hours on end, way into the night.
Everyday, I would check for latest additions in the New York, New Jersey area, and see who was hot or not. I would save their user pics, and add their MOC name, plus AOL handle, and some info, like their interests or whatever else that I could use to spark a conversation, all onto this one text file. I would then add their AOL name to my buddy list and then wait?
I had about, on average, about 200 names on my buddy list at any given time. There were three sections: just plain ?girls? were just the ones that I hadn?t had a chance to talk to, or perhaps only briefly, and hadn?t had a chance to start any real dialogue. If there was a girl that I had managed to strike a good conversation with and had a decent rapport, she went to the ?hot? list. These were girls I had a decent shot at actually meeting and perhaps getting romantic with (or just plain fucking).
Then there were girls who I chatted with that came off as disinterested, or just plain bitches, but were so hot in their pics, or perhaps seemed loose, and therefore still bangable, or perhaps just plain interesting (including mental trainwrecks), and they were put in the ?cold? list, ones still worth working on.
I sometimes had about 16 conversations going on, all at once, which was pretty tough. Hence the text pad came in handy; I used it to make notes? what was said during their last conversation, what their real names were, etc. And keeping things consistent and accurate was not an easy task, but a total necessity. I will admit that I developed quite the gift for gab with the ladies online, which I was able to transport to the real world to some effect. I also developed certain patented lines that worked to charm them 9 out of 10 times.
One of them involved them confessing, on their own, that they were hungry. Here?s how that would go:
“I?m hungry.”
“Me too, I?m actually about to make a pb&j sandwich, want one?”
“LOL, sure.”
“Alright, what I need you to do is open up your window and I?ll throw one out to you… Ready?”
“Hehehe. Okay!”
“Here I go…
Damn, it hit the ground!”
“LOL”
“Fuck, lemme try again…
Dammnit, that one didn?t go that far either. And the neighbor dog is eating it! That fat fuck!”
“:)”
“Hey, how far is Syracuse again?”
Hey, laugh at you want, but it was a panty peeler to a certain extent. Yes, I did get laid via this method, and via MOC in general. Even got a real, deal girlfriend from it, who was actually very much normal. Next time, I might share along some specific stories, though sifting through all the pics might take some time.
Oh, about the folders, I think they?re pretty self-explanatory. One set, called “MOC an AOL”, has all the pics divided by years (most of my “activity” took place during 2002 and 2003). There?s a third folder labeled “Too Young” which was where I placed the pictures of girls that I would only discover through the course of talking were underage, and not worth getting in trouble over.
The second set, “The Best Of” is where I put the very best pics I encountered, as the name implies. These were girls that I found unbelievably cute or just had plain awesome pictures, sometimes regardless of the girl themselves (occasionally you couldn?t even see them, or they?re not my type, but the picture is just so well taken or composed). A few of these weren?t even local; I would often just get random profiles when doing searches for similar interests. I actually sent these to a friend of mine who had/have similar tastes, for his amusement. But I had to stop when he became worries about his work catching on, as well as his girlfriend.
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EDIT: BTW, for you folks that live around NYC, see if you recognize any of these girls! Maybe you’re one of them! I already know that there’s a good chance that Liz might be in the batch (before we really knew each other, of course), though I haven’t had a chance to check it out myself.
