08/26/2008

You Promised Me A Banana! Next Time, Bring It!*

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

*Actual quote from Street Fighter 4! It’s what Blanka says after he’s won a match. More on that in a bit!

Another week of playing games, watching movies, chillin’ with buds, getting dronk, getting stuck on trains when you’re dangerously close to shitting your pants, designing Facebook applications… so, another update!

What The Makers Of Rock Band DON’T Want You To Know!

Rock Band 2 comes out real soon, like in two weeks or something, though for the Xbox 360. PS3, PS2, and Wii owners will have to wait a bit longer. Anyhow, to mark the occasion, there was yet another press event in the city last week…

The day began with an early morning call (well, 10:30 in the morning, which is early for me, since these days I generally stay up till 5 working and get up around or a little past noon) from my editor stating that she had received a frantic voicemail from one of the dudes at Harmonix the night prior. Apparently his iPhone went missing during a demo with a guy supposedly on our end. And considering that I’m the only game writer at Nick Mag, she wanted to make sure that said dude wasn’t me; the real concern wasn’t that I was possibly some theft but a stranger was going around posing as a Nick Mag representative (hey, I remember being at something, and watching some dude trying to get in, and claiming to be from Kotaku, when he clearly was not). Though in end, it turned out to be some guy at Nick.com that neither my editor or myself knew, and things just got stuff mixed up, which is quite easy considering there’s like half a million Viacom employees, all working for sorta similar sounding departments. Though my editor’s joke about how she didn’t know whom that other person was, but how she does know someone around the office that sells iPhones for dirt-cheap didn’t get nearly as big a laugh as it should have.

Point being… there’s not too much to say about the game. I more or less covered everything previously, and given my familiarity with the product already, it was simply a chance to check out stuff that was only talked about before, such as the drum trainer. Also got to see more of the battles of the bands part of the game; basically you and your crew perform a song, which gets uploaded for others to challenge… anyone playing the same song also downloads your performance, for note by note comparisons. I guess the one thing I wanted to know more of was the importing of Rock Band 1′s content into 2. As you might recall, the plan was to simply rip tracks from the first game to be used in the second, and I asked, if a person was unscrupulous enough, could they simply rent the first disc as and not actually own the game to utilize this feature. Even my editor could hear the imaginary record scratching that brought the whole party down. And answer is…. yes. When part 2 comes out, there will be a software update for part 1 to bring forth this feature. Once the option is chosen, a special code that comes with part 2, to verify the purchase of that copy must be submitted. Players must also pay an additional five dollars to utilize the feature, with the reason being a licensing fee. And that’s more or less it… you really don’t need to own the first game, so I guess you can borrow it from a friend or rent it. I know they didn’t like talking about it, but I did have to point out that folks are gonna wonder about this.

Oh, so I’m supposed to get the new set when it becomes available, though I might ask for just the guitars, since I already have a drum set for the Wii, and I think Katie will kill me if I clutter the apartment with another one. Speaking of, I might also have to ask for just one guitar since I already have from RB1 along with one GH1 axe, and another for GH2. Plus, given how its been made official that all the instruments will be cross-compatible, I might want to have one RB2 guitar and one GH4 guitar, just because. There’s also another event, this one a party, on Wednesday, and I’m bring Dave Mauro and a few other peeps. Perhaps there might be some footage afterwards of us all playing as a band naturally, with me singing, since I apparently did such a good job with the Beastie Boy’s Sabotage last time I played with Katie, Joe Simko. and June (it helps I can scream nice and long and loud).

New Yorkers Clearly Do Not Like Gadgets And Video Games

I guess the big news around these parts is that DigitalLife, the big consumer electronics show that Ziff Davis has been throwing the past couple of years, had its plugged pulled last week. At least the 2008 edition. Reason cited? “Poor economic conditions.” Though pretty much everyone has also pointed out that there might be other factors, such as how fucking lame last year’s edition was. Though that’s to say that the one before it was actually decent, and they weren’t. Yet I’ve heard more than a few folks state that they had a good time previously, and even the last one was decently attended. It all goes to show how desperate New Yorkers are for some kind of consumer electronics show.

Hey, remember when DigitalLife was originally going to be the New York Cityequivalent of Electronic Entertainment Expo? It was called GameOn or something like that. But when things clearly weren’t coming together, the focus was shifted towards general consumer electronics. And the funny thing is, version 2008 was supposed to have some sort of renewed focus on gaming. Oh well!

Actually, part of the show this year would have been the New York Games Conference, so once DigitalLife was cancelled, it was believed to be dead as well. But shortly afterwards came word that things were being moved to the Museum of Jewish Heritage, which is an interesting choice to say the least. And it’ll be interesting to see how the event goes… perhaps its a smart choice to shift gears, and instead of trying to do some kind of enthusiasts event (since the audience here, as noted many times previously, is sadly not here) to a business affair. Yet, like all first editions, there’s sure to be some rough edges. Anyhow, I’ll be in attendance of course, plus I’m trying to see if they might be interested in having me speak. So if anything develops, this place will be the first to know.

BTW, last time I mentioned how I almost helmed a Shaolin Soccer video game, so this time I’ll mention how… I once almost helmed an entire games convention! Long story short, a group from the south that normally promotes country rocks shows wanted to get in on the “hey, let’s do an E3 in NYC!” action. They somehow found me via the miracle of the internet (primarily my review… and criticism… of DigitalLife early on) and figured I would be a good person to helm the project, since I seemed to be a person who maybe knew how to do it right. Numerous phone meetings resulted, with me giving my two cents as to what a gaming show should be and not be. I championed the idea of mixing large, well known companies with more smaller, independent studios and their games, since the latter was not getting as much recognition at E3 at the time, and certainly not at DigitalLife, which was crazy given where it was taking place. Plus the audience would certainly find it enlightening since many folks around here are dying to get into the industry yet have no idea of what their options are (most still feel that you have to move to the west coast to work in video games). I was also adamant about there being zero booth babes and stupid shit like that. And shortly afterwards, they decided to shelf the project! Guess I did not job a little too well?

A Cross Between Paul Newman and Pat Sajak?

On Friday night, Hilary came over with a big bottle of Duvel (which she doesn’t like, but I totally love) and a movie to watch… Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion. Those who might recall my extensive New York Asian Film Festival coverage that I saw and throughly enjoyed the remake Sasori. Well the original completely blows away the redux on every level. Its not nearly as bloody, but its still hella violent, plus even more artsy, and hundreds times more sexy!

Things are quite different this time around. It still stars a woman named Nami, but instead of being thrown into prison due to her cop boyfriend’s enemies framing her, this time she’s made a patsy by her man (the flashback sequences are all presented like some crazy play btw). Nami goes nuts and tries to kill her boyfriend, which lands her in jail (where everyone wears ultra stylish jail outfits, also btw). There’s a botched attempt at escape, which makes her the focus of abuse by the demented prison warden and his sadistic goons. She manages to become the target of the bad girls that run the joint (the head bitch has like the awesome hair ever), which leads to an all out war. There’s lots of fighting, as well as making out, basically all the staples of a fine chick prison flick. Though like I said, it’s also pretty arty; there’s a scene where she shoves one bad girls heads through a plate of glass… when she uncovers her face, not only do we see blood but a painted face, a la Kabuki theater. If there’s one word to describe this flick, its intensity…. whether it be rape scene shot from the below up, via a glass floor, to Nami’s punishment by her captors which is being buried alive by her fellow inmates, but foes and friends. There’s also a scene near the end where the lady prisoners have had enough and hold various guards hostage and then rape them! So its still a male fantasy at heart, like all movies of its kind. Anyhow, Hilary got all three movies for a steal at Otakon, so I guess we’ll be seeing parts two and three (it’s a trilogy) hopefully sooner than later.

Since it was Friday, I of course had to introduce her to the wonders of Manhattan cable access, and its always fun introducing a friend to this most wonderful of wonders (I actually did the same earlier in the week for Joe Salina). Flaccid Ego, that psychic with the red turban that’s barely seen on camera and who is always so damn surly was on, and because Hilary asked if I ever called the guy, I of course had to. And this time I got on! It’s always tough since everyone loves calling in and giving the guy grief (though 99% of the time, they never get a word in because the guy always cuts them off… since he is psychic after-all). We had another pleasant conversation, which culminating with him telling me that, because of my pleasant voice, I should get my own show! I also lightly made fun of Spinning Lights, which lead to plenty of Spinning Lights jokes/shout outs on the part of the psychic (which is this long running cable access program that Farel and I used to prank call back in the day).

After I had said my piece, I gave the phone to Hilary, who asked for her future. She was told that she has a secret admirer(!) and that she would meet him in the coming weeks, plus he’s supposed to be a mixture of Paul Newman and Pat Sajack. Okay.

Rumbo in Dumbo XI

Saturday Katie and I went to Brooklyn for another installment of the World of Unusual Wrestling’s Rumbo in Dumbo! But before that, we went to my former stomping grounds, Park Slope to indulge in some authentic British fish and chips, a place called Chipshop. It has it all: fine British food, as well as fine British beverages, plus a great ambiance…. that was completely ruined by an angry reminder why I’m so fucking glad I no longer live in that piece of shit neighborhood.

Anyone who?s familiar with Brooklyn can tell you why Park Slope has become hell on earth. The place has become the place where affluent and rich hipsters have decided to raise families. On any given morning during the weekend you’ll find power moms going down the street with double extra wide baby strollers, cussing at everyone to get the fuck out of the way, with their completely castrated husbands following about ten feet behind, with their heads buried in their Blackberries. For more information, simply click here.Anyhow, on this particular day, the atmosphere, mostly the great Brit music, was completely inaudible thanks to the family that was right next to us, with their kids playing music loudly on their cell phones. Were the parents doing anything about? Of course not! Why? Because their children are precious little snowflakes, and wouldn’t dare say a negative thing to their angels that are only expressing themselves, otherwise they might bruise their frail little karmas. The father I hae to point out had both a goatee and a mohawk. God I just wanted to punch the fucker in the face.

At least the food was, as always amazing. And then afterwards we took the train out to Dumbo to Gleason’s Gym for the big show! And how was it this time, compared to last month’s stellar effort? Ummm…. It was pretty weird. There were some stellar matches, in fact some of the best, pure wrestling bouts I’ve seen yet from the WUW. Yet, there were also a number of very strange, rather awkward moments that dragged the whole thing down.

Things got off to a decent, albeit a very late start… about thirty minutes late to be exact. But in addition to the loud, fat Italian guy, the old, quiet Jewish guy, and the lazy eyed, superfan Hispanic girl, that always sit together, and annoy the fuck out of the wrestlers and anyone sitting near them, there was some loud drunk dude that caused quite the scene. Unfortunately, he was clearly annoying the kids sitting behind us, who always spout the best zingers, so I really didn’t appreciate the guy ruining their shtick (too bad they were all too nice to tell the dude to get lost). Right off the back there were numerous additions and some changes to the formula; a curtain with the logo was set-up for the wrestlers to make their entrances, which was nice, or at least much better than just having them come out of the locker room (it should be noted that the men’s bathroom is also in the locker, and I’m always nervous about going inside, not because I’m afraid of seeing some wrestler naked, though there’s that too, but I just don’t want to come out in the middle of some big angle and get hit in the face by a chair). One of the first matches featured a wrestler with a priest gimmick, calling himself Pastor George…

Plus the Unknown Masks were back! Mooney (who joined us right around the first match) were just as surprised as I was that they had returned, considering how awful they were. Instead of dressing like Peruvian ninjas, they both had lucha masks on, but the best part was how they weren’t wearing capes but actual rugs….

… Too bad they were both still pretty awful, and did some stuff that almost seriously jeopardized the safety of their opponents (one of which just got back from an injury two or three shows ago)…

… Sadly, the hot as fuck secretary was absent. Though Katie is seriously interested in asking them if they need a new one! Also sorely missed was Brooklyn Jeff. I’m assuming he had to work an extra shift that night at the force, probably at some stakeout.

One of the earliest matches of the evening was easily the best of the night, again one of the best I’ve seen from the promotion period. It was a championship match between belt holder Pete Simmons (who normally is a heel, but played the face that night) against Tristan Spade, the big pimp from before. And this time he had another gaggle of women of the night, along with some rapping buddies…

Like I said, the match was pretty intense, which culminated with the ref (“I’ve never seen an Irish guy with a dew rag before.” noted Mooney regarding the guy) getting distracted by the ho’s, and Tristan getting a cheap shot for the win… now, one staple item in the world of professional wrestling is the big silver garbage pail that grapplers like to hit each over the head with. It?s nice and big and shiny and makes a great noise when you clobber someone over the head with it. Well, I guess they either couldn’t fit one under the ring (once again, the ceiling is extremely close, leaving little room for high flying moves) or they forgot it, because Tristan hit Pete with… a tiny plastic bucket covered in tin foil I’m afraid only wrestling fans will appreciate the absolute batshit level of insanity of that one.

Here we have an extra pic of Tristan, wearing his newly acquired belt, and yelling at some kids in the front row…

Our favorite, the Musketeer! He was in a tag match with this GIGANTIC Puerto Rican guy going by the moniker of Gorilla Dozu versus Reggadones (Mooney’s high school buddy) and Mark Viola, the WUW commissioner and heavyweight champ. I guess I should also mention another vitally important part of Rumbo in Dumbo that was missing; the match calling. During matches, the announcer would call the action, like you hear on television, but this time it was missing because he was instead doing it for tape exclusively. Now, they’re always filming matches, but I’ve never seen it anywhere, so I’m hoping this is at least some sign that something is finally being done to put the thing on television. Anyway, Reggadones had been the color guy from what I could tell up till that point.

Anyhow, things started off great (the Musketeer even told Mooney to shup up, which elicited a “Hey, I”m cheering for you, you jerk!!!” until Reggadones dove head first, between the ropes, into a concrete pillar next to the ring. Everything ground to a halt, and everyone became very quiet, almost grim. From our vantage point, it was clear that he had hit the wall hard, and was on the ground, not moving. Mooney was especially worried since the guy’s his friend in real life. Eventually he was taken to the back and action continued, but the energy was not there, audience-wise. Though the Musketeer, thanks mostly to Gorilla, was able to add some levity to the situation….

Eventually, Viola was not only double teamed, but triple teamed thanks to the crooked ref, but Viola got ahold of the weapon they were going to use against him, and then went crazy, taking everyone down with it. The Musketeer then started bleeding…. eventually Reggadones came out to witness what was going on, and to yell at his partner to calm down as everyone else was trying to subdue him. Mind, this was a good guy who had gone nuts and taken three bad guys out with an illegal object. It was just so… strange.

The three of us would later discover that the injury was indeed planned (say what you will about pro wrestling, but when you see it live, it seems a LOT more realistic). So with that in mind… what was the point? The WUW has always had an air of lightheartedness, and having a fake injury angle made little sense. (especially when there really was an injury a few shows ago, as previously mentioned, which was not funny stuff in the least)… as did the bloody rampage later on.

The night went on, but again, much of the energy and enthusiasm was not there. The wrestlers tried their best to get the audience back into things, though were not entirely successful, Still, there was still plenty of awesome action, which included the return of the clown!

He had a match with Steven Person (his slogan of “I’m Steven Person…. IN PERSON!” despite being so God damn corny, eventually won Katie over) who was his tag team partner last time, but turned on him.

The girls from before made multiple appearances. Here they are even sluttier than before, as the escorts of Mac Daddy Flexxx….

And here they are as the escorts of Joe So Delicious….

… The thing is, they played the part of girls speaking some indiscernible foreign language, hence why they were unsuccessful with warning Joe about the sneak attack from his opponent, Minion, who used to be this vaguely bad guy with silver face paint on, that would always flake off, but played the part of the good guy sans make-up. He’s also probably the best pure wrestler on the entire roster. Too bad I don’t have any pictures of the guy (sorry but my camera, as you can tell, is not up to snuff for action taken in the poor lighting).

Another not so great thing was how, near the end, one of the matches was officiated by a female ref, who flat out sucked. Aside from trying too hard to be sexy, she was just not good at it. Plus there was a point where a bad guy grabbed her by the hair out of anger and that was again pretty uncomfortable. It also made zero sense why she didn’t automatically disqualify him.

Here’s a pic of the aforementioned curtain with some bear-ish looking leather dude that was often seen with a large, captain’s pipe. Katie and I were dying to see him wrestle, but alas, nothing. Guess he’s some behind the scenes guy or something… God I need to find out more about this dude.

Things ran long, really long, thanks to the very late start and calamity of the Reggadones situation. Which might be why the last match ended super abruptly. But by this point, most of the audience had gone. Coupled with the fact that many of the wrestlers were also not there (again, where art though Brooklyn Jeff?), perhaps due to it being the summer, what you had was a rather subpar Rumbo In Dumbo. Though I would later find out that Kaiju was in town once again, and without even seeing it, I’m still pretty damn certain that I was at the superior wrestling event. Sorry, but Big Battle Kaiju is SO 1999 that it isn’t even funny. Long story short: it was cool when it was a bunch of drunk Boston kids stumbling around in big dumb outfits, but now that they have trained wrestler doing way too slick moves…. Plus, their arrogance scared off their core fans during their initial attempts at going mainstream, which they’ve never fully recovered from. Oh, that and how its a magnet for obnoxious hipsters and scenesters.

Oh, and I finally got a WUW shirt!

The printing is of such poor quality that I’m pretty sure all the letters are going to fall apart in the wash. Anyhow, afterward was a long belated return to Kenka (though both Mooney and Katie had been there the night before). God how I had missed that chicken and egg and ketchup on rice.

What Have I Played Lately…

I guess this is the part of my update in which I mention what I’ve been playing. Lots of stuff, as usual. Mostly XBLA titles, such as Bionic Commando Rearmed (was never that great with the original, but I am getting the hang of the revamp), Geometry Wars 2 (which I didn’t think offered that much new at first, but boy am I ever wrong), and Galaga Legions (which I loved the first time around, and am definitely digging now at the comfort of home, though I’m beginning to rethink my “it might actually be better than Pan Man Championship Edition!” stance).

Still going full steam ahead with Wii Fit. It’s going okay I suppose, though many of my beefs from before are still very much present. My biggest issues like with the inconsistency of the strength exercises. Some I’m able to achieve high scores on despite the fact that I know that my form sucks. I know it can’t do everything, but still… it would nice if it gave more insight or clearer instructions on how to achieve perfect forms, especially when it comes to the rowing squat thrusts, which no matter what I do, I can’t seem to do correctly. In fact, for my movements to be properly registered, I basically have to do it wrong, which is beside the point. Some exercises tell me after the fact that I have poor balance, which I’m well aware of, mostly when it comes to standing on one leg. Yet no real advice is given towards how to fix things, and just doing the balance mini-games is simply not enough. I also find the Wii Fit Age, which tells you what your physical age is and compares it to your actual age, somewhat broken. You have to do two random exercises out of whatever, so if you’re good at, say, balance, then it’ll be good, otherwise not. Meaning its fluctuates way too much; first I was 47, then all of a sudden 31 the next day, then 42, and today I’m 35. Granted, as Jason argues, if I’m in prime shape, I should be able to tackle anything and get a high score, but once again…. please refer to my earlier points about its inability to help pinpoint problems.

Also been messing around with my PSP a bit more than usual. I only recently discovered that the Dracula X port has Symphony of the Night as an unlockable… though I find the redux such an eye sore (like I do for many remakes for the PSP, including Mega Man Powered Up, Maverick Hunter X, and Ultimate Ghouls ‘N Ghosts) that I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. Also began playing this fan translated high school dating sim where you’re a vampire teen in a regular people high school for the PSone called Bloody Bride. Only started playing it late Sunday night, when I found myself both bored and extremely annoyed by the closing Olympics ceremony (was actually gonna write about it, but I think the forum thread more or less covers everything).

Plus yesterday, I finally checked out…

… Street Fighter 4, That’s What!

Joe Salina gave me the head’s up on Sunday regarding the machine’s presence in New York City (which was much sooner than expected… I was lead to believe that Tekken 6 would make it here before SF4, which in hindsight, was pretty silly) and asked if I wanted to check it out. But I had assumed that the crowd at Chinatown Fair would be a bit too much to handle, at least for a Sunday, and not long after, Joe discovered that the wait to play was indeed insane, involving putting one’s name down on a list and waiting for half an hour.

So after another lunchtime meeting with Jason, I decided to swing down to Chinatown to finally check it out. And, despite it being in the middle of the afternoon on a Monday, I still had to wait about half an hour to play. Foolish me to think that arcade rats have day jobs or something (in their defense, school is still out, though not for long).

There was a list that you had to put your name on, and its funny how half the names were not real names. Stuff like Hunter D, MUTANT, and other wacky stuff. There was about a crowd of twelve or so, and after a person would play, they would immediately put their name back on the list… So yeah, it’s basically the same people who have been playing the game, I’m assuming, non-stop, since they got the unit in this past weekend, as myself and Dave had guessed. And their expertise was immediately apparently as I watched them play; everyone appeared to know what they were doing, and I knew that I wouldn’t. I bet in addition to playing the game non-stop, they analyzed all the YouTube videos from Japan up and down, plus checked out the official move list online. I already knew that my time at the controls would not be a long one… I could only guess how badly I would perform.

I feel the need to point out the units themselves: they look kinda…. odd. Not like real dedicated arcade cabs. Basically (very nice) high end Samsung screen affixed to arcade dashboards. There are two screens, each with its own monitor, similar to how they have VF5 in Japan. Oh, and it was a dollar a play. Only bills were accepted. And while a dollar a game is pretty standard practice for most arcade games in their native land, its still a pretty big pill to swallow around here, at least anything that’s not a deluxe racing game.

Anyway, I almost left because the wait was far longer than I expected, plus the smell was getting to me. Half the crowd seemed like nice people, the other half reminded me why I avoid Chinatown Fair like the plague. Didn’t really try chit-chatting though. Not those kinds of folks. That or they might have found my attempts at conversation not up their alley. So I just watched the various games before me…

Visually speaking, the game is… very interesting to look at. I’m not gonna say that I totally LOVE the aesthetic, but I appreciate the attempt at being different. If anything, it kinda feels closer to what the original series looked like (SF2 proper) than all the anime-ish stuff that’s come after. I just think a slightly different, perhaps more muted tones might make the game look less… gaudy? Though the graphic quality of the models are quite nice and put to good use; when someone gets punched in the face, it twists and contorts in real-time, which is quite nice. And painterly effects are very nice handled, and most importantly, not over done.

Just as I was about to bolt (I heard it was going to rain soon and was totally without by umbrella, plus the clouds were beginning to darken), my name was called. There had been one dude who had been kicking everyone’s ass with Blanka, but I guess after a certain number of wins, you get booted off. I guess to insure that fresh faces (and bills) keep rolling in. That’s kind of a neat idea. So I faced off against some kid that was also fresh. Nice guy, very friendly!

We both ended up picking the lucha wrestler. Perhaps I should have chosen a character that I was a bit more familiar with, to compare how he or she plays to a previous iteration, but I was simply sick and tired of seeing Ken and Ryu. Also, I kinda had Mexican wrestling on the mind; in addition to the action at Rumbo in Dumbo earlier in the weekend, Jason and I during lunch discussed how awesome a porno starring luchadores would be. Plus, I knew I was gonna suck, so I figured I at least had a better excuse with a character I had never used before. He ended up controlling a lot like Skullomania from the Street Fighter EX series, if anyone’s ever played that. Lots of jumping around, quick jabs, and the like. The perfect button masher/newbie character.

Both of us did lots of jumping around and trying to hit each other, simply trying to feel the controls out. Thank God that we were both at the same basic skill-level; after all that waiting, I didn’t want to be annihilated in three seconds. I forget what I or the other guy did, but people in the crowd began grumbling. One or two kept saying “don’t be cheesy.” Again, I don’t know if it was him or me. It’s not like I was turtling, or using the same unblockable move over and over again. BTW, I’ve always found people who object to certain moves in games being used, by saying its “cheesy” or “unfair” kinda ridiculous. I mean, if its in the game, is it not a valid choice? I kinda understanding have some hidden code of honor in the real world, but a video game?

Anyhow, maybe I was the cheesy guy, because I ended up winning (though it was close). My opponent thanks me for a good match, even gave me respect knuckles. Next up was another young guy, but no smiles. All business. Totally surly. I knew what was next, especially when he chose Ryu. And I was beaten in three seconds. Afterwards I looked at the kid in the face again, and he had that look in his eyes that he had “taught me a lesson” or something. Oh well. All I can do is take solace that, despite not being a champion Street Fighter champ, never will, I at least…. have kissed a girl. And that counts for something, right?

So I honestly can’t tell if it is indeed the mix between SF2 and SF3 that everyone says it is, but I had fun with it, though the wait plus the steep price is a bit of a turn-off, as well as the place, which I’ve decided is not for me. Basically, can’t wait for the console versions!

Odds & Ends

- For those who might be interested, by very lovely and super talented was recently interviewed over at Sequart, who everyone should definitely check it out!

- I also finally introduced one of my most dearly beloved movies of all time, Death Race 2000, to Katie last night. It brought joy to my heart to hear Katie mutter to herself “This is the greatest movie of all time.” every five minutes. The need to show her the movie was naturally prompted by her interested in seeing the remake, which I think no longer exists, or at least strongly.

Just realized to mention another awesome flick I recently Netflixed; its by the guy who did The Shadow Spirits, that weird noir murder mystery/science fiction/assemble buddy flick that I went ga-gag for at the NYAFF. Anyway, its about a gangsta on the run and how he hooks up with a taxi driver that, despite being Japanese, is quite the stranger in a strange land (played by the always brilliant Koji Yakusho). Instead of me, once again, going on and on and on about how awesome said Japanese flick is, how about I simply pass along this excellent movie review courtesy of Midnight Eye?

- Been meaning to pass along another post with selected best of from the forum for a while now (just haven’t had the time). Till then, folks can simply mess around with the excellent, imho, YouTube videos I’ve highlight in the past by… combining them!

- While doing some research for a freelance project earlier this weekend, I had to remind myself that the official website for the awesome Korean romantic comedy, I’m A Cyborg But That’s Okay, has pretty much the awesomest website ever, at least one tied into a movie. Too bad its only viewable in Internet Explorer.

- And while fucking around the internet in general last night, I stumbled across new that Night Flight, one of my favorite shows of all time growing up, might be coming back!!!

- Finally, another blog to pass along, this time from a dude I used to work with, over at SVA. His name is Chad, and his sight is called EYEBURN and it’s pretty neat!

2 comments

08/19/2008

Blah, Blah, Blah

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Hey, another week (plus a couple of days), another update. Since it’s been rather all over the place, I guess this entry should follow suit, so I’ll simply be dotting stuff down as they come to me…

Beware Of Chinese Burritos

So yeah, I’ve been kinda out of it since last week. It all started with this bad chicken burrito from last Tuesday night. I guess all that really needs to be said is the conversation afterwards with Jason:

“So I think I got food poisoning.”

“What did you have?”

“A burrito.”

“Was it a Chinese burrito?”

“Yup.”

“Well there ya go.”

For those who don’t live in NYC, most of the fast food Tex Mex places are run by the Chinese. Also the best sushi chefs are often Mexican, Albanians usually makes the pizzas, and who usually goes the most ga-ga for Chinese food around here? You got it, the Jews. Point being, its all mixed up around here. As for Katie’s guacamole salad, she said it was okay.

Anyhow, I started feeling bad almost immediately afterwards and went to bed early…. around nine that night. Had a bunch of crazy dreams, culminating in my dad as he was about to whip me with some television antennas (bunny-ears). That got me up at three in the morning, and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Was actually able to wake Katie this time around (she always gets up early for work, whereas these days I just sleep till noon since I’m normally up till four working, but that doesn’t stop her from waking me up and asking silly questions, along with other forms of comical mischief) and make pancakes (or at least try to; not too long ago I gave it my first shot and was super successful, but it’s been downhill ever since… I can’t get the right consistency to the batter, nor cook them properly). Tried returning to bed after she left, since I had an event to cover later that evening and knew rest would be needed for it, but because I was somewhat wired, didn’t manage to fall asleep till three. Had a two hour long power nap, which got me up just in time to realize that I would miss my thing, but thankfully, everyone was sorta late due to the trains running like shit. The event in question was the IGDA NY & NJ’s Demo Night, which I’ll touch upon in just a moment…

Since then, I’ve been struggling to get my sleep schedule back to normal, and was almost there till yesterday. As silly as it sounds, my first time with the Wii Fit (which yes, I finally got, and without having to beg to Nintendo for one) flat-out spent me, requiring a nap yesterday in the later afternoon. So speaking off…

Step Aerobics With Hitler

The arrival of the Wii Fit could not come at a better time, as I attempt to whip my sorry ass in shape. And thus far, I’m pretty impressed by the package. While hardly perfect, most of the activities do their job, of making one sweat, especially the yoga exercises, which I’m surprisingly decent at. The strength exercises are, not surprisingly, my weakest area; earlier today I almost felt like I was going to pass out from one of the activities, but hey, no pain no gain, right? I’m also pretty decent when it comes to the aerobics mini-games (hula hoop is lots of fun, though I do have more fun watching Katie do them… sorry honey!), whereas I flat out suck when it comes to the balance mini-games (hardly a surprise, I have shit balance, hence why I can’t ride a bike, among other things).

The immediate goal is to loose just a couple of pounds, which the program will helping me out with by monitoring my progress. My body mass index, is not surprisingly not good; I’m considered obese, though just barely according from Wii Fit’s charts and graphs. I also had my Wii Fit Age taken, and it’s 31, which is my real age, so I guess I’m not that bad of shape. I guess my only real issue is the relative lack of space in which I’m doing my work-out, plus how my TV is low to the ground, so its hard sometimes to follow along with the virtual instructor. Also, Wii Fit is by no means going to completely replace my normal regimen; I’m still jogging, though I’m giving up doing push-ups and sit-ups on my own, since all that hard stuff will be lot easier to endure with an ultra catchy Nintendo soundtrack in the background.

As for what else I’ve been “playing”… Finally went out and got Grand Theft Auto 4. Been expecting a copy from Rockstar for the longest time, but when it was quite clear that I had been forgotten about, I bit the bullet and actually bought one (I guess I’m no longer on their list of bloggers that they care about… oh well). And what else can I say? Much of what I liked from before has lost its luster, and I’m even more confused by ever by the unanimous praise that it has received. All I can say is that, for a game that places such emphasis on vehicles, the behind the wheels controls is absolutely pathetic. For reals. Though controls in general totally bites; combat is a joke, and that whole sequence where I had to climb ladders and jump rooftops to chase somebody was far from smooth and exciting as it should have been. I also love how instead of being any help, the options menu manages to confuse one even more; there’s a diagram showing what each of the 38 buttons on the controller does, but because the information gives changes every three seconds, its just another minor, stupid nuisance. Plus, hooray for games that use every single button on the controller! Jesus Christ.

It really says something when I was completely bored in the first 30 minutes, as well as at a total loss of what to do next, requiring me to actually go online to find out what I was supposed to do to advance things. I figured I could kill time, till the next mission triggered or something, by hijacking a cab and collecting fares, like in the other GTA games, but was shocked and pissed to discover that you can’t do that here (at least not yet, or so I’ve heard). Great. Worse was the all the trouble I went through chasing down and hijacking a Mister Softee truck for, again, totally nothing. And riding around Brooklyn and Queens just gets fucking old… I want Manhattan, and I want it now. Oh, and speaking of boring, I’m already bored stiff by the “edgy” script. I just wish the game didn’t try so hard to be cool and IN MY FACE, YO! It’s the little things, the understated stuff, like the awesome radio content, or just watching TV that’s still the best (though it?s pretty sad when the best thing to do in the virtual world is to sit around and watch television). And I guess its not all totally bad; the lead character is actually extremely like-able, and not some Scarface wannabe as one might expect. Plus the drunk effects that one has to deal with after some drinks is extremely impressive (as well as accurate). I just don’t see myself playing this game for that much longer. I at least wanted to hang in there till I got to Manhattan, but at this point, each play session is just a combination of boredom and frustration. I guess I could simply use a cheat code like everyone else, but that alone already speaks volumes about how broken GTA 4 truly is. So don’t expect a review anytime soon, if ever.

Though one can expect one for another game that I hated a short while back, because the time spent with this particular title has actually been quite enjoyable! I’m talking about Burnout Paradise; EA recently passed along a copy, I guess for me to give it a second look at since someone on their end perhaps remember me causing a big stink that one time I checked it late last year. Well, after getting the chance to sit down and really dig into things, it’s not half bad… at least when I accepted the fact that it’s no Burnout 3. It tries to do something else, and while it’s kinda rough around the edges, as well as being somewhat overwhelming at first, eventually things begin to come together, making it one of the best casual arcade racers to date. At the very least, its still one of the absolutely jaw-droppingly beautiful games you’ll find anywhere (hence why I kept going back to the demo, despite not knowing what the fuck is going on and getting pissed by all the confusion). More to come!

Another game that’ll be reviewing very soon is Soul Calibur 4, which I’m more or less done with. Right off the back: I guess its nice that they made unlocking characters much easier this time around, but perhaps too much so? Hence why I haven’t played it nearly as much as the other three (okay four) in the series. Otherwise, this aficionado of virtual tits in armor does approve, especially in the looks department. I just wish there wasn’t any Star Wars to gay shit up, and interface is an unfortunate mess (even worse than three). I can’t believe its from the same company that brought us the user interface sex that is Ridge Racer. Oh, and then there’s Braid, which I fucking love to death, even if it tells me that I’m pretty dumb. Though I did take Dave Mauro’s advice to skip the challenges in world four, and am doing much better in world five. Whereas I can’t figure out how to solve puzzles in which the world goes forward when you do, and vice versa, all the stuff involving your shadow seems to just click for me.

Oh, I also recently started up my GameFly account, to play all those PS2 and Xbox 1 games that I missed the first time around. Currently messing around with Dino Crisis 3, though not for long. I knew that it sucked, but I guess I had to see for myself. After all, mutant dino stalking in space is too good to pass up, no matter what the critics says. Though in this instance, they were totally correct; the camera is total ass, enough to completely cripple the experience (for one: you hardly ever see the dinos you’re blasting, i.e. the main reason why you’re playing it in the first place).

Remembering The White Wolf Party

Let’s go back a bit, back to Wednesday night. That’s when the eighth Demo Night went down, an event in which local game creators show off and discuss their latest creations to their peers, and… I think I’ve mentioned this before, or at least hinted towards the sentiment, but I gotta say it once again and for all, nice and clear: as awesome it is that more and more stuff is happening here in NYC as it relates to game dev, a lot of it is also becoming increasingly boring. It’s the main reason why I guess I’ve kinda lost touch with the local scene (that and I’ve just been busy as hell). Demo Night 8 had pretty much everyone would has come to expect: a FPS mod featuring a WW2 setting (zzzz), a casual game that, despite having some very nice production values, is ultimately just another one of those extremely boring hidden object games (double zzzz), a serious game that teaches kids the ills of drunk driving (well, at least its not as retarded as “educating” people on how working at Kino’s is actually a shitty job).

Not surprisingly, the highlight once again was Dave Gilbert talking about his latest Blackwell game. I’m not just saying this cuz I “discovered” the guy, but he’s one of the few folks around here that truly embodies the indie game dev sprit that everyone is so found of talking about here in NYC. Dave actually sticks his neck out there and puts it all the chips on the table, doing stuff that’s genuinely independent, as well as actually fun to play, whereas many others in the scene seem too determined to try and run with the big dogs or are too preoccupied with flirting with academia. Which I guess is why, instead of writing about all of Demo Night, I’ll just be focusing on Dave for Gamasutra… I’m interviewing him tomorrow on the stuff he touched upon that night (and right after yet another Rock Band 2 appointment, I guess one last chance to test drive the game before it comes out real soon).

That’s not to say that Demo Night was a total bust; there was Discarded Online, a fusion between Streets of Rage and Pokemon that looks interesting, and another game that was aimed at folks who are severely handicapped by utilizing full body movement via motion tracking controller was pretty neat. Plus, it afforded me the chance to catch up with some familiar faces, most of whom I hadn’t seen since my trip to San Francisco; Brandon Van Slyke and I got to recount the madness that was the White Wolf party (plus you can too). And was able to catch up with Nick Fortugno and talk to him about live action RPGs (which he used to run, and that I’ve always said I’d give a shot when the opportunity came up, at least one helmed by Nick).

Though I didn’t stick around for the after-party. Instead I met up with Katie, Mooney, and Joe Salina at some obnoxious bar near St. Marks. Basically, every five minutes the bartender, followed by everyone else, would shush everybody. Basically, it used to be run by monks, but when the effect is completely undercut when you’ve got some douchebag hipster bartender in that role. Also, the main body of folks playing along, yet another gaggle of hipster pricks, also happened to be loudest, yet also the most eager to give me the evil eye for having a loud person. Oh, and one of them was some short dyke who had a huge backpack that simply got in everyone’s way. Cocktail Lounge this place most certainly was not. Neat paintings on the wall though. I recall seeing a dragon raping some poor townsfolk.

Whatever Happened To…. Spready Bear?

I guess this is as good as time as any to mention…. Not too long ago, someone asked me “Hey, so what’s the deal with Spready Bear?” Good question. I have no idea. The last time I did anything game design related was my short-lived gig at Black Hammer (lulz), and I can’t remember how long before that I last touched Spready Bear. I guess if I have a reason to NOT like Dave Gilbert is that he stole my main artist behind the game away from me (John Green)! Though the truth of the matter is, the main programmer had to take a sabbatical and I never heard from him ever again….

Since that time, I’ve been offered the chance to collaborate with Jason once again on something different, plus I’m might have a consultation gig very soon (more on that when it happens, if it happens), but Spready Bear is simply not in the cards at this point. Which is a shame I guess, but perhaps its time might eventually come.

But hey, look what I just stumbled across!

… That there is just two bits of concept art that accompanied my concept document for a game based on Shaolin Soccer, the Stephen Chow movie that came out a few years back. I was hired by Miramax to explore the possibility of a game, but alas, they decided to pass. It would have been cool though; assorted soccer teams across the globe, with each one employing a fighting style native to its nation of origin (karate for the Japanese team, Taekwondo for the Korean team, Muay Thai for the Thai team, Capoeira for the Brazilian team, and so on). Basically, your average sports sim, mixed with elements of fighting, and vague RPG elements, along with plenty of comedy to keep everything nice and light.

And before anyone asks, no I haven’t found my Charles In Charge RPG design document yet. Sorry.

The Truth Behind Mystery Science Theater 3000

The next day Rob Catlin stopped swung by my neck of the woods since he had some teacher’s workshops in Harlem. Talked about lots of different things, including…. Mystery Science Theater 3000. Him and his wife Michele went to the San Diego Comic Con a few weeks back and decided to attend the MST3K reunion panel, which turned out to be quite the event. For the time ever, the entire original crew were on stage together… these days, there’s two camps, former head writer and second host Mike Nelson’s Riff Trax crew, which is mostly just him and dude who did the voice of Tom Servo, and MST3K’s brainchild Joel Hodgson and his just established Cinematic Titanic, which includes more or less everyone else from the original show (including the voice of Crow/Dr. Forester, Frank, plus more).

For those who don’t know, Riff Trax are downloadable mp3s that you play along with movies, which allows Nelson to basically add commentary to any movie under the sun, without dealing with legal headaches. And along with classic, B movies, numerous contemporary flicks are made fun of. Though Rob also agrees that part of the MST3K charm is that the movies are supposed to be so bad you’ve never heard of them. Meanwhile Cinematic Titanic is just like the original show, except instead of being from outer space, they’re all on some seafaring ship, and instead of silhouettes at the bottom (like sitting behind a row at a movie theater), they’re to the sides, as if they’re standing on platforms on the ship’s masts. Their target seems to be, as before, completely wretched and obscure movies, and sounds like fun (in fact, as I type this, I’m downloading the initial offering from their website, so I’ll pass along my two cents next time).

Anyhow, Rob noted that, while everyone shared the same stage, and both camps answered the same sets of questions, you could tell that each side was not all that fond of the other. Joel never addressed nor even looked at Mike, or Jim Mallon, the co-creator of the show. In fact, the tension between the two was the most evident, and rather monumental revelation was disclosed: the real reason Joel left the show. The official explanation was that Joel wanted to move onto other projects, but the truth is, him and Jim had a huge falling out, to the point that one of them simply had to go, and for whatever reason, Joel decided to pack his bags. In the process he handpicked Mike as his replacement, which might make the animosity a bit puzzling, but then again, perhaps Joel was simply not happy with the direction of the show under him. And as a former diehard MST3K fan, I was never a fan of Mike at the helm, and all that followed (which may or may not be his fault, like all the nonsense that went down with Sci Fi… then again, Mike could be responsible in the sense that he let shit happen). Hence why Joel was not at all happy about leaving and missed spoofing movies dearly (though I’m not certain if he regretted leaving), which eventually led to Cinematic Titanic.

Oh, and I also showed Karate Ruler to Rob, whom I had thought had seen it already (everyone else in the Dave Roman crew has at this point, at least I believe). I’ve seen that movie at least 200 times by now (no exaggeration), but its always a fun watch, especially when it’s with someone’s first time.

The World’s First And Only Pro Christian, Junkie Turned Killer Turkey Flick

Sticking with shitty movies, the following evening was Horror Night 2.5 at Joe Simko’s. In attendance were Jay and Richie from the Beer Drinking Fools. The theme of the night was head trauma films (meaning trauma caused by heads) and first up was Head of the Family. Now when you see something like this…

… You can’t lose, right? Wrong. Instead of him being some diabolical killer head confined to a wheelchair and killing people in mass, presumably to build himself a body, you get a lame, campy-horror comedy. The plot goes something like this: there’s a redneck town in which the owner of some diner is having an affair with the girlfriend of the resident tough guy/extortionist. There’s also a gaggle of freaks (including a strong man, skinny dude, and a porn star looking chick) that diner dude witnesses do some dirty work (he sees them carrying away a dead body), so eventually he breaks into their compound and comes face to face with the head of the family, literally speaking, who controls the rest, like phantom limbs. Indeed he is kidnapping hapless townsfolk to conduct conduct experiments on, to eventually build a new body, and is about to add the diner guy to the body-pile, till he says that we saw some bad things and demands them to do his bidding (getting rid of his girl’s guy) or he’ll call the cops. So what ensues is some ultra boring extortionist plot, devoid of buckets of blood and gore. Instead of being unintentionally funny, it actually goes for laughs. Whatever. To be honest, I forget what happens because we were so bored that the four of us ended up talking throughout most of it, mostly about girls, since the evening also doubled as “dude’s night.” With the highlight having to be Richie’s views on feminism, as well as lipstick lesbians (including the time we was simply trying to enjoy a dish of spagetti that he ordered at A BAR and two girls started making out in front of him, and because he didn’t give two shits, they became annoyed), Suicide Girls (“Why would I find a girl hot that wants to kill herself?!”) and girls that cover themselves with tattoos (he finds them ultra lame, and I’m TOTALLY on that train of thought).

The second flick on our double bill was Blood Freak, which is about a stoner whose head turns into a turkey and gobbles up the blood of other junkies and dealers. Again, sounds like a total winner, right? Not really… the premise is obviously sound, and the execution is bad, extremely bad, the kind of bad we love, meaning horrible acting, indecipherable plot, crappy special effects, horrible camerawork, among other things, but you know what they say about too much of a good (in this case bad…. or vice versa) thing? Making this film extra special is how it was funding by a bunch of Bible thumpers, who instead of wanting to make an anti-drug film like everyone else in the 60s decided to go for the gory route. You have the somewhat Walt Disney-esque narrator, the mad scientists played by actual doctors (who can’t act), the horrendous looking blue turkey head get-up with blood red eyes, the overlaid gobble-gobbles, blood squirting from the victim’s arteries and the turkey-man cupping the blood up to his beak, as well as him asking his lady friend to pray for his soul. Though the highlight would have to be him chasing some dude down, then cutting of his leg with a saw, because the effect was so damn good, thanks to the fact that the actor was actually missing a leg! Now that I think of it, that movie was kinda awesome.

It was also during Horror Night that I had my first root beer in, God, at least ten years. And man was it heaven. Anyway, Horror Night 3 will be taking place during September, where I’ll be showing Chopping Mall, where a bunch of kids having a sex party at the mattress place in the mall are taken down by the malfunctioning security robots (Katie turned me onto this one, and man is it ever amazing) and retard Blair Witch Project. Can’t wait!

6.2 YOKOHAMA, JAPAN

Joe also had a gift for me this past weekend: the official Magma 2007 DVD was recently release in Japan and I got a copy. It basically chronicles the entire second show of the Magma Fest that took place in Yokohama (for those that need a refresher, simply click here), including all the performers on the main and second stage. Naturally, all the Japanese acts (which, aside from being far more interesting overall, were all totally cool and not at all the jackasses the the majority of the American acts turned out to be) only had a song each, while the bulk of DVD was dedicated towards to headliners from USA.

It was awesome seeing Red Bacteria Vacuum (that totally hot Japanese punk rock girl duo, along with the Abe Lincoln looking drummer) and the Stackers (the dudes that helped to put the show together and were seriously the nicest guys in all of Japan, which is saying a lot, as well perhaps my fave act of the entire line-up) in action once again, and was just as annoyed and pissed off by Bouncing Souls, H20, and Sick Of It All (who, once again, all acted like total prima-donna, spoiled, rich-boy brats) like the first time around. As previously noted, the only American bands that weren’t total assholes and were actually pleasant were Murphy’s Law and Harley’s War (though truth be told, I mostly mention Harley because I don’t my ass kicked by the guy… then again, I am the dude that helped to fix his video camera in Okinawa, so I hope I’m still okay in his book).

Cat Update

I guess now might be a good time to provide an update on the cat. Obviously, I’m still alive. In fact, I’m more or less suffering from zero ill effects from the cat! Guess it was true what I was told: a proper diet does reduce the allergens that affect those with allergies. That and I’ve been super religious about cleaning after her. Anyhow, the one-month trial period is almost over, and Katie is about to submit the paperwork and the check to finalize the adoption. Which means we’re definitely keeping Josie!

And she’s an awesome kitty… though, Jesus Christ is she ever stupid. I mean, cats aren’t exactly rocket scientists, nor are they even bright as dogs, but its so wacky (yet cute) how she’ll cuddle up with us for a good while, and then all of sudden forgets who we are and become totally petrified of us. Though her best attribute has to be the dumb/blank stare that she always has, coupled with the black patch of the bottom part of her mouth, which totally make her look like a dufus. She is kind of life a dog in one respect: Josie sometimes chases her tail. The only real concern is her diet; initially Josie was a fat cat, because her original constantly kept her bowl filled with dry food. The adoption agency managed to slim her down by feeding her a can of food of day, but when we first got her, she was ultra shy, so to make her feel relaxed, we allowed her to have about two cans a day. Bad mistake, cuz from that point on, it appeared that she had gained some weight and also began the nasty habit of begging for more food, constantly. Since then we’ve gone back to one can a day, but man, is she ever one hungry kitty.

Truth be told, the most fun Katie and I have had thus far has been lightly torturing her. Not to say that we grab her by the tail and throw her around (though I have been fighting the urge to grab her by the hind legs and lift her up, like Mr Lopez in my old place of residence used to let me), but Katie & I like to chase her around, make her dance, and place stuff on her. That kind of stuff.

Odds & Ends

AKA the “what stupid crap is on my radar update”; just found out that the second wave of the Shooting Game Historica is finally out…

… Which can all be picked up over at National Console Support. Though before getting any of those, I should perhaps round out my collection of Mecha Musumes first.

And earlier this weekend, I came across this… a pretty God damn decent blog penned by some dude that apparently lives near me! Also, the dude has some fantastic taste in video games (any fan of U.N. Squadron is a friend of mine, plus I also agree that Psychonauts is more than a little overrated) and YouTube videos (that’s where I first caught this fantastic homage to John Carpenter’s The Thing done with G.I. Joes).

Also this past Friday was one of my best friends from back home, Suzanne’s wedding day (plus this past Sunday was also her birthday). Suzy has always been like a sister to me, so it really pained me that I had to miss the blessed occasion. But at least I’ll be seeing her later this year, at her brother’s wedding in October. At least I hope to…. Aside from the fact that it conflicts with my first, and perhaps only chance ever to see one of my most favorite bands, Killing Joke, in the flesh (they’re on a world tour where, at each city, there’ll be two shows; the first will cover mostly early stuff and the second will have them doing all of Pandemonium, which I must have listened in high school about three hundred times over, front to back, and who knows how many more times since, along with some other cuts), I may not being able to make it due to an already packed schedule. Not helping is how I will have already done some heavy traveling the weekend prior, which is SPX weekend, but I’m sorta scheduled to wrap up a major project that I’ve been toiling away on for the past couple of weeks, and for the next couple down the road. Oh, and because of SPX, I believe Katie’s vacation time will be all spent by then, or at least not before dipping into the block reserved for the trip to Japan for Magma 2009. Time will tell…

Hey, speaking of SPX, even though Spready Bear is somewhat dead in the water, I’ve got brand new installments of UNLUCKY in the oven and set to make their debut at the show! At least, that’s the plan. Right now I have a bunch of uber talented pals, such as Travis Nichols and Allan Norico and Dave Savage, plus maybe even Zack G. and Hilary. I’m hoping for not just one brand new preview mini, but two! Maybe even three if Todd Webb manages to actually get his story done! BTW, if you’re out there Todd, let me what’s up, k?

Oh, and like I’m always saying I will, I hope to have a few extra neat things on hand, mostly other comics, though Joel recently planted a seed in my head which might lead to something else at the show. According to the guy, he totally thinks I should try to produce a video game zine. I guess something like Life Meter, but with words. And I had toyed around in the past with the idea of printing up my favorite blog entries, but doing something entirely original could be cool… plus as Joel pointed out, I do know a ton of folks who could contribute. Something to think about I guess.

Anyhow, I’ll be sharing a table with Katie, of course, where among other things, you’ll find the latest installment of her space nurse odyssey/fantasy, Nurse Nurse, which she’s been toiling away on. Here’s a sneak peak at issue #3…

Finally, astute readers might have noticed… I’ve got no i am 8-bit pics. For a while it appeared as if Slonie was going to make the trip on my behalf and snap some shots, but he simply couldn’t fit it into his schedule. And unfortunately my call for photographers didn’t net anyone, at least for this particular event; one guy I became acquainted with at ICON did mention that while he couldn’t do Hollywood, he’ll be going to various furry conventions in the near future and will be able to produce some pictures of what he encounters. And everyone knows how much I just LOVE furries! Anyway, for those that might be interested, my buddy Mike over at Kotaku managed to take some pics of the i am 8-bit 08 opening, which can be found here. There’s plenty of pretty yet (yet completely tired at this point) tributes to Mario and friends to be found, but there appears to be some new territory being blazed, with the kinda NSFW Bionic Commando piece being my current fave.

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08/08/2008

The Decision To Decide

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Was going to file the following yesterday, but that was before a consultation gig, along with various other, slightly more pressing projects (i.e. stuff that helps to pay the rent) took center stage. That and I just have a TON of games on my plate, including Soul Calibur 4, Braid, The World Ends With You, Reset Generation, and Burnout Paradise (EA decided to send me a copy, since there’s a major update that just came out, plus I just think they want me to re-consider my stance on the title).

Also, I wanted to make sure I definitely had a post on 8/8/8, and here we are…

So I got up super early Wednesday morning for my appointment with Nintendo; they were in town to show off their E3 line-up to us East Cost folks, and I ended up spending most of my time on Wii Music. For those who missed out on the initial wave of hoopla a few weeks ago, it works something like this: instead of relying on specialized controllers to deliver the same experience provided by games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band, you use only the Wiimote and nunchuck. And not only can you play the guitar and drums, but also a piano, flute, violin, even bagpipes… sixty instruments in all! Which is certainly appreciated; as much as I’m totally excited over Rock Band 2, and how I want to get it for the Xbox 360 since all those downloadable songs are simply too much to resist (sorry Wii version, but you know, no hard drive equals to not as much fun), I already have the entire Wii set-up, including 2 guitars, drums, plus mic, along with two Guitar Hero axes for the PS2 (truth be told, I waiting to see which version’s instruments, Rock Band 2 or Guitar Hero 4, will allow the other game to work on it).

Anyhow, it’s Wii Music’s philosophy, that being the act of “making” music in a game should be less about hitting keys at the right time, and more about improvised button pressing and motions to “get into the groove” that I, like so many, was not entirely sold on. Well gameplay-wise, it works far better than one could ever expect. Each song that’s presented is separated into various parts, such as harmony and rhythm, and you play whatever part with an instrument that corresponds with it. How you hold the controller(s) is dependent on the instrument, naturally. For a guitar (or banjo, or sitar, or the like) you extend the nunchuck like it?s the neck, and move the Wiimote like you’re using it to strum. Percussion instruments has the Wiimote and nunchuck becoming drumsticks as one would expect, and for stuff that’s keyboard based, both controllers once again become extensions of the human hands. The most interesting control scheme was for wind instruments; to play a saxophone for example, you hold the Wiimore up to your mouth, with the infrared part actually facing you, and you manipulate the buttons at the bottom to change notes, along with tilt it up and down, kinda like in real life! Obviously, everything is dumped down, but there’s far more improvisation involved than in Guitar Hero, where if you hit the “wrong” key, nothing happens.

And I was pleasantly surprised how, as you simply mess around with whatever instrument during a song, you eventually find a groove and are able to play along correctly (but there’s still the chance to indulge in some freestyle action). So everything works well enough, but the thing about games like Guitar Hero is that the fun comes mostly from trying to keep up with the music accurately, to test one’s self if they can pull of the right combination of chords to perform whatever song. Without that difficulty to keep one motivated, I really can’t see Wii Music being much of a “game” per say…. but then again, it’s not supposed to be, much like Wii Fit. Yet even that has clearly defined goals to achieve. It was neat alright, but hardly a successor or threat to Guitar Hero or Rock Band. This is about as “casual” as Nintendo has come for the Wii.

Anyway, also got the chance to check out the new Animal Crossing game, and as a fan of the series, I approve. As noted, it looks exactly like the GameCube version, but with the background scrolling of the DS version. The emphasis is on online interaction, with going to friend’s towns seemingly a LOT easier than the method that was used in the GameCube (which I could never wrap my head around), yet there is still no persistent online lobby, with a bunch of people hanging out, a la Habbo Hotel, which sucks. Nintendo was pretty tight lipped with the details, so I wasn’t able to find out if you can play old NES games in the game’s world like before (I would imagine that this time you could play SNES or whatever other VC titles that you already have… though it would certainly be neat if there’s some hidden, unlockable ones), hence why there’s not much more to say!

Then later in the evening was some bloggers party thrown by Bandai Namco. Decided to bring Dave and Joe along for the fun, and while they didn’t have Galaga Legions as I had hoped, there was at least We Cheer on-hand, a cheerleading simulation for the Wii that I checked out a while ago and promptly went ga-ga for (perhaps more so than I should have). But instead of passing along screenshots…

Here we have both Joe and Dave giving it their first spin…. And here’s Joe and I…. Finally, here’s Dave going at it solo with dual Wiimotes. In the end, they too kinda dug it as well!

Both dudes also gave Afro Samurai, based on the anime starring Sam Jackson, a spin. And it actually remind me of Wii Music to a certain extent, at least when Dave asked if the structure is similar to games like Ninja Gaiden, Devil May Cry, and God of War; there’s no HUD to keep track of stuff like kills and points, and given that most action games are embraced by the hardcore (like Dave) because they like to keep an eye on progress and improve upon combos, it just seems rather odd and unfortunate. There’s also no additional weapons aside from the default katana that you start with, but at least you can unlock new techniques as the game progresses. Plus it does look awesome, with a pencil sketch motif, and extremely gruesome. Not as bloody as Mad World, but rather gory; as you slice people in half, you can see the insides, like a side of beef that’s been cut by the butcher. Though the lack of a HUD, to give it a more “cinematic” feel, but as I’ve noted many times in the past, I’m pretty sick of games wanting to suck up to movies and almost be ashamed to have video game iconery on the screen.

Oh, and they both gave some Naruto fighting game for the PS3 a whirl, which I couldn’t be bothered with since I’m not exactly a fan of the source material, but they both said it was surprisingly fun. Dave also checked out some game that’s basically Nintendogs but with pandas that I will most certainly have to pick up for Katie when it comes out! Plus there was some Sony party that same day, but I wasn’t invited to it, cuz as one fellow game writer noted, I’m just not cool enough! lulz

Back to Naruto and animu in general…. Otakon is this weekend, and I will alas not be there yet again. I was actually trying to find a business related excuse to go there, which would also help to justify the cost of the trip, but alas, either no was interested in sending me or already have folks covering the show. Bummer. Though at the last minute, Hilary did mention that there was a nice spot on the floor of the hotel room that she and 17 other people are sharing that could be all mine, but I again have so much on my plate that I had to pass.

Instead, Joe and June are coming over tonight to get a taste of Rock Band, plus we might indulge in some Friday night cable access action, and tomorrow I might I might be heading over to Jason’s to watch a UFC PPV. Plus, there’s much work to be done and games to be played!
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Since I have a little bit of time to kill, how about I pass along some recent video games-related news and links that (I think) everyone should check out?

- So the latest issue of EGM is all about Japan, featuring interviews with various creative types, including one with ex-Team Nijna head Tomonobu Itagaki in which one finds out that he’s into model trains! But the centerpiece is easily the one with my favorite old school maverick Japanese game designer, Kenji Eno, and the entire interview, plus stuff too hot for print, can be read here!

- Apparently, the notion of a Wii version of Jet Set Radio is now one step closer to reality!

- It’s just been revealed that Fatal Frame 4 for the Wii will feature various Nintendo themed costumes, such as a Lugi…

… and Zero Suit Samus…

… I all of a sudden became very interested in this game! BTW, those images are from Ruliweb, the biggest online resource for games in Korea, and while “borrowing” those pics, I came across some wacky website for an online game, or something. See! Japanese people aren’t the only crazy ones on that side of the ocean. Us Koreans can be just as insane.

- BTW, I also just learned that Fatal Frame 4 is being developed by Grasshopper, and one of their earliest games, Flower, Sun, and Rain is coming out in Europe, and hopefully America not too long afterwards.

Oh, and here’s the Japanese trailer for those who missed it the first time around. Hey, isn’t it funny how I’m such a Grasshopper/Suda 51 fanboys, yet I still HATE Killer 7?

- So there’s another version of Echochrome on the way, and it’s going to be in 2D?

- For those who on an Xbox 360, but REALLY wish they could use a Dual Shock

- Haven’t had a chance to pass this along till now: Ultimate Shooting Collection is coming out for the Wii soon courtesy of UFO Interactive, featuring a trio of Milestone shmups, including Karous, which includes some “Wii” specific control enhancements (and that I was gonna import, so this is certainly welcome news). As for the other two games, you have Radilgy (which was supposed to come out for the GameCube but was cancelled) and Chaos Field (which should have been cancelled, but wasn’t).

- We all know that Japanese box art is almost better than American ones. But why? And are there any exceptions to the rule? Here’s a pretty terrific piece on GamesRadar that cues up some familiar examples, as well as some surprising ones.

- And as everyone also knows, aside from virtual tits in armor (btw, expect my Soul Calibur 4 review soon, though initial impressions can be found here), what else do I love? Cute girls, cloned, of course! Hence why news about a possible fourth Resident Evil movie warms my heart so. While I’d much rather have a clone army of Emma Watsons or Ellen Pages, beggars can’t be choosers (and I don’t mind Mila so much either).

- I’m not the biggest fan of Halo, nor Fable, but this is just too awesome…

- Real quickly, back to Soul Calibur 4, Kotaku also recently passed along a translated version of the manga that Bandai Namco produced that explains all the new additions and changes to the formula…

… the whole thing can be viewed here and here.

- Another game I’m positively in love with at the moment is Braid, and here’s a great behind the scenes look at the wonderful art.

- Sticking with Gamasutra for just a sec, a quick Mega Man 9 update: it’s going to feature slow-down, just like the good old days! Though it can be turned off.

- Time to head on over to Insert Credit for some highlights, mostly some primo YouTube vids, including…

… Wanna see someone beat Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance for the GBA in less than 24 seconds? And yeah, I have no idea what’s going on here.

… As a Gunstar Heroes diehard, for whatever reason, I never bothered to check out the Game Gear version. Well, after seeing this linked video, I now need to track down a cart and a Game Gear!

… I once recall being excited over a game called Dee Dee Planet for the Dreamcast, but it never came out. Well, at last we finally have footage of the game in motion. For more info on the game, simply check out this news-post.

- BTW, the i am 8-bit 08 show opens next week…

That Jim Mahfood piece is, not surprisingly, hawt. I think like lots of folks, I’ve kinda grown tired of the show, simply because its the same folks doing the same thing. But I believe the organizers know this, and from what I’ve seen thus far, there appears to be some new artists doing some new things. Could be really something.

Unfortunately I don’t a photographer on deck to capture the scene, but at this point, its become so big that you can bet that Kotaku and IGN or someone similar will be there to provide coverage. Though if you’re going, are handy with the camera, and feel like sharing what you snap, drop me a line! You will be paid, of course.

Anyhow, since I’m already combing the internet for stuff, may as well head back on over to my neck of the woods for a brief stop…

- Via the Tatsunoko vs. Capcom thread comes word that we might not get the game here for legal reasons, but it could be used as the basis of Marvel vs Capcom 3? And according to Dave in the Street Fighter 4 thread, Chinatown Fair getting Tekken 6 before SF4, which is pretty fucking lame to say the least.

- Meanwhile, over at the MGS4 thread, just like Joe sez…

“Someone is going to masturbate to those.”

- Seriously, why do people keep saying that the PC is dead?

- Time to re-visit the video game clothing thread for some Space Invaders threads…

- And the agony and the ecstasy that is Sega discussion keeps on trucking, now filled with various YouTube vids of Virtua Racing and Daytona USA, plus a chiptunes remix of a Sega Touring Car music track. And I’ve literally said it a hundred times by now, but I still don’t understand why no one hasn’t ripped off Panzer Dragoon RPG’s brilliant battle system?

- Speaking of video game related vids…

… Here’s the trailer for Thunder Force 6 for the PS2. It actually looks really good!

… So is the Robo song from Chrono Trigger inspired by…. Rick Astleyy?!

… For those who missed it, here’s the second trailer for Captain Rainbow. God please let this game come out here. Though I have a feeling this will be just another Doshin the Giant and Giftpia.

… Know what else is going on this weekend? EVO2k, that yearly event in which a bunch of sweaty street fighter dorks gather in Las Vegas to yell and scream and even feel like real athletes! Here’s the trailer for EVO 2008, along with the greatest EVO moment ever from 2004. Still sends chills down my spine.

… I actually got this one from the IC forums: the last level in Omega Boost, which I only checked out because someone said it was very “Rez-like.” Though the real winner is the AWESOME hair metal music.

… And courtesy of Dave, via the shumps forum, a review of Gunbird 2. I absolutely have to meet the guy behind it.

… Finally, I actually posted this one already at the Soul Cancer thread, but since its (relatively) SFW and game related, I may as well pass it along here. Once again, hooray for Japan!

- Moving away from games… the Everything Else portion of the message board is chock-full of depressing news and talk, centered on fucked up cops doing fucked up things, the plague that is Wal-Mart, how Bono’s efforts to raise money for AIDS is, along with being annoying, is just not working, and an energy drink that’s in poor taste even by my standards. But at least the cat thread keeps getting more pics of cats! With more to come on my end.

- I normally find subversive children’s books to be done to death, but I must admit, these are pretty damn funny.

- Why super fans are generally stupid as hell and often get what they deserve.

- Slonie passed this one along: it’s 1975 and this man is about to show you the future

- So, are hipsters truly the end of western civilization?

- Via the flat out shitty web comics thread comes words of wisdom from…. Yahtzee? And the food thread, with an awesome drunken chicken recipe, how the KFC in Iraq sounds more like Korean food than American, and a hot dog to rule them all.

- Once again, I’m quite proud of the awesome random pictures portion of my message board…

- Also popular is the random videos thread, of course…

I love how animu dorks/furries manage to take the most simplest of things and make it something uncomfortable.

Tourettes camp.

NICE PEACE!!! Again: “This makes me wanna go to war.”

… Praise the Lord… the dirt bikes!

A true story of success.

… Seriously, the ten best minutes of your life.

… And unfortunately, the best video I had seen in years, featuring a bunch of guidoes from the Jersey Shore in their natural element, keeps getting pulled. :(

- Moving onto the NYC portion of the board… a lot of people was upset by that one cop that shoved the cyclist. Not me though.

- Hey, did anyone ever figure out what that dead monster that was discovered in Long Island was all about? Unfortunately around that same time, that really fat cat, Princess/Prince Chunky, was soaking up all the media attention, leaving the monster in the dust.

- Johnny’s Pizza and Papa John’s Pizza… FIGHT!!!

- Via the thread“man there are some great shows in 2008″ thread… shit, I TOTALLY forgot that the follow-up to 77BoaDrum, 88BoaDrum is going on right now! Fuck. Oh well, at least there’s still the documentary for last year’s event, courtesy of Vice.

Though I sure as fuck am NOT missing out on Killing Joke in October! I should probably get my tickets tomorrow.

- And via the subway characters thread, comes Mike with…

holy shit.

this morning.

f train.

a large woman.

just plain out farting.

the whole damn ride.

seven stops.

of farting.

- Finally, via the Secret Chamber… Hello Miss Thai Ladyboy 2006!

- More headlines that make you smile, and now headlines that make you go “what”?

- And the Soul Cancer thread just got a LOT crazier…

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