08/07/2011

Korean Girls In My Pocket

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

It’s late Saturday night… early Sunday morning technically. Been a long week, but a good one, filled with plenty of work and play. Am currently typing this on the A train, on my way home from Stephen‘s pad in Brooklyn, where much beer and professional wrestling (The Very Best of WCW Monday Nitro to exact) was consumed. So aside from killing some time on a subway ride that (not surprisingly) is taking forever, I also want to avoid another update that’s so big that hardly anyone will get through it, hence a (relatively) brief one week later post:

- Finally got my press pass confirmed for PAX Prime on Monday, thank goodness. Not to complain, but they’re making it tougher to gain entry in such a manner, and that’s understandable, given how big the whole thing has become. Still, was seriously worried (and annoyed I’ll admit) over the possibility of not getting a golden ticket Long story short; their list of requirements was something I simply could not comply with. Thankfully the 12 plus list of links from GameSetWatch and Guyism from the prior three days alone I passed along was enough for them to say “Okay, this guy’s sorta legit.”

I also finally nabbed my plane tickets for back home as well; will be spending the last half of August in Washington State. Aside from PAX, which will essentially be the capper to the trip (and what a party it will be; seems like EVERYONE will be in Seattle this year), I’ll be helping my father enter the 21st Century. Basically, will try to get internet hooked up at my dad’s apartment, help him pick out a computer, as well as show him how to use it, along with an iPhone, plus set-up Netflix as well (might get him a Roku box as well). All because both the local Hollywood Video and Blockbuster are out of business, so he can no longer watch Jean-Claude Van Damme flicks like he used to.

Back to PAX; as excited as I am to hang with pals, especially Adam, Cory, Mare, Lamar, and the rest of the Fangamer crew (btw, for those who’ve been wondering what the heck is up with Attract Mode, all I can say is keep your eyes peeled), what I’m most hyped for is to be in Seattle to help celebrate the 20th anniversary of Nevermind/Ten/Badmotorfinger! Haven’t heard of any festivities or the like, but… there has to be one, right?

- I also managed to get my panel submissions in for the New York Comic Con/New York Anime Festival just in the nick of time! I’m basically aiming to repeat myself yet again; hey, folks want to hear about why the Japanese game industry is in shambles and how to get a job in games as well.

Am hoping they give The Best And Worst Games Of All Time (That You’ve Never Heard Of) another shot, due to the technical issues from last time. Hey, being able to retain 70% of the crowd once I admitted that there was a video problem, and having everyone just sit up front while I held up my tiny ass laptop screen has to account for something, right?

- Despite being knee deep in my daily duties, managed to do a decent chunk of work on the zine, the most since being sidetracked by personal drama. Am pretty happy about that! And as also noted, the delay has been nothing but good, since it just keeps getting bigger and better in all sorts of manner! Which will be become evident in due time.

Even found the time to do some research for that collectable card game I’m working on, which has also been going well. For the longest time I was trying to find someone local who played the Pokemon card game, to study from. Till it became clear that it’s not as approachable and easy to play as I had assumed. My bad for figuring that would be the case, since it’s aimed at kids (should have known from my days of reviewing Yu-Gi-Oh games for GMR back in the day).

- Guess what showed up in the mail? My brand new wallet, featuring Hellen Jo!

Been in the market for one for a while now; as nice as the magic wallet might be, which Rob first introduced to me as my Secret Santa gift about two years ago, they don’t last very long. So instead of nabbing a fourth, figured I might as well try something traditional once again… but sorta not. Was a tough call, choosing between bird people and Korean girls, but in the end…

BTW, for those who are aware of “lol white people who think every Asian girl is the hottest thing ever, they’re okay I guess” stance, it has become relaxed thanks to various utra hot Korean actresses I’ve seen in assorted NYAFF flicks. On a related note, finally found a copy of Dasepo Naughty Girls! But also, when you get down to it, Korean girls are the most caucasian looking to a certain extent. Hey, as a Korean born and raised in America, I’ve been programmed by my mom since five to dig the white girls. Anyway, here’s what it looks like when there’s stuff inside EDIT: Big thanks to Hilary for pointing out how retarded it was for me to explose my ID card number to whole world like I had…

Overall, it’s a very attractive looking wallet (obvi). But functionality-wise, I’m worried if it’ll last all that long. It utilizes a fairly high-quality plastic (or so I get the sense/would like to believe), but who knows if it’ll stand daily use over weeks and months. Though if anything else, if it breaks, I can always just go ahead and get Lisa Hanawalt’s next! For those interested, you can nab yours here.

- As noted already, been super productive, but also fairly social. Saw Cowboys & Aliens with dmauro recently; to be honest, I liked it! Mostly due to the acting; that Jon XXX really knows how to get performances from his cast (though any Iron Man fan knows this already). I guess I can understand it not being everyone’s cup of tea, though I also don’t get all the complaints about it being played too straight. Guess with a name like that, folks were expecting something far wackier (as if a more serious-sounding title would have worked at all).

Still haven’t seen Captain America yet, but have plans with pals next week, though no one I know seems all that interested in the new Planet Of The Apes. This ain’t just the James Franco fanboy in me talking: always looked interesting, and nice to hear it getting good reviews (though we know ultimately, that doesn’t mean jack). What say you (if you’re reading this) Travis? Whom I only discovered during dinner this week is just as much a Dune diehard as myself.

- When having drinks with Anthony and Derrick, I absolutely loved how, when asked “What are you playing these days?” it was quickly revealed that we’re hopelessly transfixed to Groove Coaster. It honestly is the best thing going on right now for iOS, and the first game in years to truly innovate the now stagnant music game genre since Rock Band. Seriously.

It’s also game #372 to tap into Rez better than its actual sequel; the lameness that is Child of Eden was also touched upon, which I’ll actually be going into greater detail next time! Anyway, this does a far better job clarifying Groove Coaster better than I ever could. And for the bargain basement price of just $1, there is absolutely NO reason why everyone shouldn’t have it on their iPhone/iPad/iPod Touch.

BTW, following quote was also posted shortly after that evening, via Google+…

Derrick: “Oh man, I’m Yakuza 2 drunk right now.”
me: “That’s nothing, I’m Grand Theft Auto 4 drunk right now.”

I also passed by Gray’s Papaya on the way home, the one on 8th Street and 6th Ave. Had no idea that they’re serving pizza now! Have they dropped hot dogs from the menu? Didn’t get the chance to check.

- Though speaking of, and as for last night, it was barbecued hot dogs, chocolate chip and zucchini cookies (trust me, they were delicious), plus Summer School on DVD (yes, the old Mark Hamon flick from 1986) with Dave and Raina! Fun times. Especially how Dave and I almost burned his place down thanks to the fireball we created thanks to our unfamiliarity with operating a non gas-powered grill.

BTW, for those aren’t familiar with local NYC game culture history, yesterday was also the one year anniversary of my FORT90 X BABYCASTLES show! My God, how much has happened in just twelve months. Anyhow, to mark the occasion, I put up all the pics from the event, from the currently defunct Attract Mode blog, over onto my Photo Dump Tumblr (though there’s a good chance by the time everyone checks this out, it might be pushed down by the Hellen Jo wallet pics, so just scroll down). And here’s something else I just stumbled across: a YouTube clip from that night, mostly featuring Phil Fish talking, but I’m in it a tiny bit as well (the less the better to be honest).

Oh, and back to Tumblr, over at my Repository of Random, you’ll see some selected cuts from Hilary’s Regular Show fanzine that she created for Otakon last weekend! It’s SO good. And hopefully by tomorrow/later tonight, I’ll finally have my cable access Tumblr updated at long last as well.

… BTW, as I’m writing all of this, I’m listening to…
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Review: BIAS

Those of you who remember my Blip Fest 2011 report for GSW might recall the claim that minusbaby stole evening number one, and looking back, it still sticks out as the highlight of that entire weekend. So thank God for his latest release, which distills a bit of the flavor combination that he brought front and center, and which I’m guessing some are still trying to recover from.

As much I love chiptunes, I don’t keep up with the scene and am therefore clueless as to whatever’s hot at any given moment. I’ll only know about something if a pal either recommends it or if I stumble across it by accident. So thusly, I have no idea how the rest of the chip community feels about it; perhaps they think it’s a work of genius, or maybe something utterly confounding. My gut tells me the latter is a distinct possibility, unfortunately. Minusbaby’s brand new album is not easy to get into. It’s dense, complicated, and at times, flat-out intimidating. But the man has once again demonstrated how he’s the quintessential chiptuner’s chiptuner, so it’s hardly a shocker. So I expect in the end, those who know the deal will also hail BIAS as one of the best things to happen in 2011 (if they haven’t already).

Those looking for something along the lines of Anamanaguchi or George & Jonathan might be disappointed. Whereas those are dance parties (that’s not a knock, mind you), it’s all serious business here (again, your head with shake, just… differently). Whereas those guys are still pushing the envelope, BIAS is proof positive of someone that has complete mastery of his tools and is now unabashedly enjoying himself. The only other artist I can compare him with his Nullsleep, because much like Jeremiah Johnson, Richard Alexander Caraballo has created music that can be classified as chiptunes, but has shattered the barriers that similar artists have either struggled to break away from, or willingly impose themselves with.

Basically, minusbaby is the only other 8bit musician, aside from Nullsleep, that I can play for a pal who hates chiptunes and know hell actually dig it.

BIAS is essentially much of what was put on the table via his 2010 release, Derecha, but taken to the next level. There’s a LOT going on, much of it head to head. I cannot emphasize how complex the arrangement are, with all manner of sounds fighting for dominance, but in the end, completely complimenting each other. Everything is all at once harsh, yet… and it pains me when white folks use this word, but I’ll do so anyway… also funky. The first part of the album, Algo Sucedi Cuando Nacistes and the songs that five follow, are basically what he performed at Blip with that band of his. Yet Caraballo somehow managed to channel the sounds of the live instruments he had one stage into chip audio, which I’m still blown away by. Makes me wonder which iteration comes first, but that’s a total chicken or the egg question.

Though the rest of the songs are just as exemplarily, with the amazing production quality truly shining in Courtship Manifesto. That’s another thing: it’s the first time EVER in which chiptunes has actually sounded just as good in mp3 format as it does live, where is generally the preferred method of absorbing chiptunes. Hence why I shudder to think how much brain will implode when I hear the rest of BIAS live. Till then, I will not be able to stop listening to the album, nor can I help give it the highest possible recommendation. Check it out for yourself via the Bandcamp page.
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All right, I’ve actually been home for the past hour. Time to play one last bit of Child of Eden before going to bed. Later!

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08/01/2011

No More Bad Memories (part three of three)

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Guess what? Part three of the very best of you know what. Oh, and parts one and two for those that somehow missed them…

COLD BEER BEAUTIFUL GIRLS

FUCK NASA

Hey, remember when I used to post both awesome random pics AND awesome random vids? BTW, RIP fort9forums version 2.0. But anyway, those who do know the drill already:

- First things first: check out my summer jam.

- Semi-related: eighties Japanese girl rockers are the best rockers.

- Though ultimately all music from back then was the best.

- God bless The Bob & Tom Show.

- This btw is what I see whenever I close my eyes, no lie.

- FUCK YOU. NO THANK YOU. I DON”T TO BE UPGRADED.

- I’M ULTIMATE, I’M CHAMPION, I’M MEGA, NO WAY

- I WANT THAT MEATBALL

- I’M A KITTY! MEOW!

- You know what I love? People overflowing with civic pride.

- 66 seconds of screaming
(which took five months of practice).

- Jesus Christ, Ghetto Star.

- The Shining, as a sitcom.

- The Honeymoon Rap (bonus YouTube comment: “I wish there was a clear history button for my brain. Ugh.”)

- Proof positive that advertising types have zero sense of humor.

- Speaking of David O’Reilly…

- Frozen Time, an early 80′s experiment in bullet time from Japan.

- I agree Dilbert: you should just kill yourself.

- This alternate take on Scooby Doo is also pretty damn awesome as well.

- Reason #87,529 whey I love the hell out of professional wrestling.

- And don’t forget reason #87,530.

- Though let’s not forget how truly wonderful anime can be as well!

- Better yet: the perfect merging of the two.

- Another brilliant combination: the mood theme from Ducktales NES and a corgi.

- Back to anime; it was Hilary who turned me onto to Dennō Coil via this pencil test

- A wacky, Power Ranger-esque porno from Japan, but minus all the sex.

- Speaking of Power Rangers, here’s the trailer to the latest movie, which features EVERY SINGLE TEAM FROM THE PAST 35 YEARS. Apparently the movie rocked and made like a fortune in the theaters!

- An oldie at this point, though most certainly a goodie as well: the Baby Bullet informercial, all crazy and stuff.

- Time for a legit YouTube hit: the Space Camp song.

- God is doing a new thang.

- Note to self: pick up a copy of Future Heat.

- I also need to find out more about this “peace tape”.

- And this Games video feels pretty appropriate right now, doesn’t it?

- Sometimes a video hits like four million views and you wonder wtf. And sometimes it’s totally understandable.

- Something about some animu girl, frosting cakes with her ass, or something like that.

- LOL sports fans.

- As if you needed yet another reason to hate CGI.

- Who would have thought that the music from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure could make phat beats even phatter?

- Remember when MTV played videos like this? Actually, they never did; I saw it originally on Night Flight.

- Related: this is what VH-1 used to be like.

- http://pizza.net/

- Again, messed up pixels and pizza. I’m being redundant, I realize.

- I so badly want to see this documentary on diehard Tiffany fans.

- In Japan, this is how people break up AND how they sell shoes.

- There is little doubt: Christopher Walken was an amazing Bond villain.

- There is also zero question: KFC blew it big time by not going with this ad campaign.

- This dude really hates NASA, and for rather sound reasons!

- You’ll tell yourself: Soundwave has never been so SUPA KAWAII DESUA!!!

- Lidsville is pretty insane, even by Sid & Marty Krofft standards.

- Am supremely depressed that I will never be as cool as this guy.

- Never before has the title of a video been so amazingly spot on.

- Once again, thank you dmauro for introducing this into my life.

- And I have fellow Denim Club member Peter to thank for introducing another, yet equally mind-blowing clip.

- It’s a lawnmower, soaring high in the air, accompanied by the music from The Snowman. Sure!

- Let me introduce you to Robbie M, before his eventual domination of the music world.

- Speaking of, meet my new e-buddy: Orange Drink.

- A fairly kick-ass music video, but one that’s also NSFW. But I’m sure your boss won’t mind you watching something with topless chicks and machine guns, right?

- And finally, much how I last wrapped my previous rundown of awesome, random vids: something by my zinester bro, Ryan.

… Actually, I have one last clip, which I uploaded myself onto Tumblr, mostly because YouTube wouldn’t let me! It features a familiar ditty from Super Mario 64, naked dudes wrestling each other, a super soaker filled with some unidentifiable gooey substance, and rumble packs used to cover private parts. Does that sound NSFW to you? Surprise: it kinda is.

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Who’s ready for round two of Repository of Random highlights? Here’s part one for anyone that missed it. But before all that…

So I Pissed A Stripper Off

Previously, I passed along my favorite recent posts from GameSetWatch, and again must reminder everyone that there’s TWO sites that I contributed towards full-time (hence why this blog gets barely any attention these days).

Though also once more, most of what I post is there is for a mainstream audience… but that doesn’t necessarily mean I post mainstream stuff. Guess it falls within that range, generally speaking. Then there’s times in which… well… here’s my faves from that end:

- Witness not just one, but two girls dressed like Laura Croft pole dancing! And then scroll down to the comments section, where I get yelled at by one of them.

- While everyone was off, enjoying fireworks and hot dogs for the 4th of July, what was I up to? Busting my hump and doing my job, that’s what. Mostly cuz I enjoyed the 4th on the 3rd (that’s when John‘s BBQ in LI was this year).

- Okay, clips of folks going up to fast food drive through and grabbing ice cream at the top? Whatever. But dressed as Ash from Pokemon? Now that’s funny.

- Naturally I had to post about the nude Sylvia Christel viewer in the Japanese version of No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise somewhere. BTW, here’s a far better, and more detailed look at the goods.

- Her name is Keisha Fabo and she is every Sims’ nightmare.

- The game Audiosurf is ultimately only as exciting as your music folder. Well, do you have any mp3 files from porn inside?

- Okay, pretty much everyone and their moms know already that Freddy Krueger is coming to Mortal Kombat. But don’t care, reposting anyway; it’s all I could talk about at last weekend’s Anamanaguchi show.

- Her name is Lara and she likes to play video game music on her violin, often dressed as a character from the same game.

- And finally, the first of several reports from all the press events that’s been happening in NYC as of late, kicking off with Namco Bandai. Am only rebroadcasting it here simply because even I can’t believe what an Ace Combat fanboy I’ve all of a sudden become.

Oh, and a few extra GSW links, new ones since last time:

- Only three hours left to go to fund Robots Love Ice Cream. Cuz anyone who has the box of U.N. Squadron for the SNES on his desk while making games surely deserves the support!

- For fans of Jet Set Radio and Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure (which everyone said was really good, but Marc Ecko telling everyone at GDC how they’re assholes and how amazing he is after just one game under his belt left a bad taste in my mouth), here comes another that deals heavily with graffiti culture (why there aren’t more, I still don’t get either).

- Even though Mega Man Legends 3 fans aren’t making the games themselves (even though Capcom said it was totally cool… more or less), they’re still trying to get the project officially restarted, and thus far things are going great I guess?

- And using an old Chris Crawford game to understand the nuclear meltdown that happened in Japan after the earthquake and tsunamis.

Okay Am I Being Cursed By God 4 Fingers A Girl’s Butt?

Anyway, enough with the plugs (hey, the only way I’m going to keep my jobs is if folks know about and check out my work, so please, click those links), cuz it’s time for…

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