05/18/2006

“It’s as essential as the air we breathe”

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Last night’s movie night was almost a return to “the good old days” because the night began with a bunch of clips, which was very much appreciated. The night began with major action sequences from The Mark of Zorro, starring Douglas Farbanks and hails from 1920, which I think might make it the first Zorro flick ever. Then some tap dancing courtesy of the Nicolas Brothers, along with some Abbot & Costello at a pet shop, and a couple of songs from A Funny Thing Happen On The Way To The Forum. Next played into the theme of the evening which was “before Buffy”; Jeff played a clip from Millennium that features James Masters, a.k.a. Spike from Buffy. Then was excerpts from the serial killing at the set of a serial killing movie based on the show episode where Frank Black watches and analyzes slasher flicks, which made me realize that I should get season three after-all (in many diehard fan’s minds, the show ended with season two). Afterwards was the long-awaited Selfosophy episode of Millennium, which is easily the most biting commentary on Scientology seen anywhere, well before it became popular (though they also got shit for it, perhaps in the first real instance ever for network television). Anyone who’s a writer, a literary nerd, or a X-Files fanboy, has to see it, period. As for the main feature, it was Woody Allen’s Radio Days, which is a favorite of mine, and actually the very first Woody Allen flick I ever saw. Plus it starred a very young Seth Green, which played into the theme. Afterwards we all caught the crazy pet owner episode of Penn & Teller’s Bullshit, which I really need to get a tape of to show my roommate…

Oh, and the word on the street is that the next X-Men film sucks. Apparently Fox has recently cancelled all press screenings, which is always bad news.

Also, Joe passed this along: more “test footage” from the Transformers flick. Maybe this has been going around the internet all day long, I wouldn’t know since I haven’t had the chance to really surf around, but it looks pretty decent, though probably flake. Guess my caution stems from thinking this was real. EDIT: Actually, it is fake, which was proved by just clicking the “return to Transformers CGI test feature” page… which makes even less sense that Optimus is white. And I love how everyone at this points seems that when they transform into robot mode has to lumber backwards a step or two. They were graceful in the cartoon!!!

Speaking of, I’m still playing catch-up, so I haven’t had much of a chance to read up on post-E3 news. I’m familiar with all the headlines, so now is the time to dig for the really good stuff, like totally insane and awesome (or insanely stupid) stuff that fell below everyone’s radar. This morning I came across some footage for that Jaws game, which I guess is still happening.

Though in the meantime, for those who haven’t seen it (I linked to it in an earlier comment’s post, though I’m sure most missed it), or just want to understand how absurdly stupid and boring Sony’s E3 conference really was, here it is, in just one minute. Then there’s also this, which clocks in at just a minute and five seconds, featuring that guy who can’t even control his own damn game, thanks to Sony’s brilliant “new” control mechanism.

And for those who might be confused by both, some quick points: the “Riiiiiiiidge Raaaacerrr !!!!” is basically the President and CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment trying to express mass excitement over playing an old PSone game on the PSP. Then you have other guys in button up shirts trying their best to present same old, same old as something “new, fresh, and exciting!” and failing horribly; it’s like hearing an entire PowerPoint presentation being read out loud, and every slowly. For those who enjoy such things, there’s the Kaz Hirai soundboard as pointed out at insert credit. That last comment about levaraging innovation and identity or whatever the fuck sums it up all best, though unfortunately it’s missing Kaz’s “It’s as essential as the air we breathe” line. Yeah, WTF, right?

Why am I still bitching about the PS3? Well cuz people keep bringing it up with me, or course. And its beginning to seem that Sony’s obvious blunder may not be so obvious to everyone after-all. I had discussions with three colleague of mine this past week who are all excited over the system, with two who have already taken the HD plunge, and the other getting ready to. And of course, each had with all these stats and numbers about the adoption rate for HD television sets and how “everyone is dying for the HD era to begin.” And then I had to go into my I’m sorry, but most people just don’t care and aren’t will to spend $2000 on a TV spiel, which gets the patented “But HD sets are going down in prices! There’s a really good one that’s just over $1000!” response, and to that I have to remind them that’s still too much. Next I bring up how confusing it all is, and one person mentioned “But it’s not! Almost all HD sets will be able to display 1080p…” which is the point where I cut them off and tell them that they’re already speaking martian, and remind them that most people not only don’t have the money for such technology, but the patience to learn all this technical mumbo-jumob. Let alone listen to why all their DVDs, which is supposed to be cutting edge, all of a sudden looks like crap. Two things to consider is that these folks, at least the ones I know personally, all live in New York City, where everyone is up on their shit, but such information is both confusing and not entirely readily available elsewhere. Though I do take it back since most Best Buys and Circuit Cities rarely have their high-end sets tuned properly (plus we all know how dumb their employees are, as exemplified by this recent example). And the other thing is, once again, the coverage by the press is not at all complete and accurate. So when I explain the whole Trojan horse strategy behind Blue-Ray, most (sensible) folks so “Oh… well that’s just plain dumb then.” Though least one guy I know, who’s a real techno-fetisht that’s been waiting for Blue-Ray since forever (and already has one of those $800 HD-DVD players at home, I shit you not) still believes in Sony’s plan despite the fact that A) the Blue-Ray’s consortium decision to use the PS3 as the tech that will lead to the format’s mass acceptance based on how the PS2 got DVDs into most of American’s homes is bullshit since that point, DVD had been around for two years and just needed a cheap way in (and the PS3 is far from cheap), plus B) there’s still this format war going on, and even though Blue-Ray is technically better than HD-DVD, Beta was better than VHS, so there.

Okay, I promise to no longer dwell on the PS3 hardware and Sony’s idiotic mentality… it’s gotten old, I know. So I’ll just talk about game from this point on… song long as there are any to talk about. Though I should take back an earlier statement: there is more than just one game that makes me even remotely interested in the PS3, which wass Metal Gear Solid 4, and it’s Virtua Fighter 5. But that’s pretty much it.Besides, I’ve got better things to do than endlessly bitch about the PS3, like passing along Ultraman scat videos. That and Boredoms music vids (here’s one, and another, and another… thanks dhex).

  • http://www.johngreenart.com John Green

    That’s funny, I know one of the cameramen on that Best Buy thing.

  • http://www.vitaminsteve.com Steve!

    I

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    ?

  • http://lj.slonie.com Slonie

    Oh man, the Jaws game looks like the most great/terrible thing ever. Fatality on Shamu!

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