03/31/2009

It’s 2009, Maybe Time To Retire The Term “Nerd”?

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Well, GDC 09 is finally done and over with. But instead of diving headfirst into all the highlights (a few remaining reports are still being filed, the small stuff that assorted reporters can finally talk about, with all the major headlines out of the way), along with all the other video game related tidbits that popped up during the past week, how about…

This past Saturday night I attended a midnight show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. It was my first in literally years. Back in the day, myself along with Dave Roman and John Green practically lived at that place. Well, the old location at least, on 22nd Street, and mostly for their wrestling/comedy spectacular, Piledriver. Along with assorted shows starring now legendary troupes (well, at least in the world of UCB) like Respecto Montalban, the Swarm, and Littleman. Yet for whatever reason, after it moved to its current 26th Street digs, my interest in the scene in general began to taper off, not sure why. Oddly enough, when I moved back to Manhattan at that point, I figured that I’d be there practically every night, since heading back to Jersey City or Brooklyn after each late night performance was such a pain in the ass. I suppose the loss in interest was a direct response to my favorite performers being no longer around. Many went on to pursue other projects, mostly television work, which I never bothered to follow-up on. Mostly because I was never an avid VH1 viewer (most are those “who the hell is this guy?” that people foreign to the scene might recognize on shows like I Love The 80s and Best Week Ever), though I did try to catch SNL because of Rob Riggle. Their inability to do anything meaningful with him was the final straw we me for that show. I know that he’s often on Human Giant with fellow Respecto alum Rob Huegel and Paul Scheer, which I always figured was an awesome show, but I’ve never seen it since. Once again, no cable.

And I know I’ll sound like such a douchebag for saying this, but I think I stopped caring because the UCB was becoming such a scene. For a while, I was seriously thinking of taking a few classes and maybe getting up on stage, and several of my friends actively encouraged me to do so, but somewhere along the road, I had to say forget about it. Mostly when I realized that my secret desire to perhaps landing a gig on Late Night with Conan O’Brien was something that EVERYONE who takes classes/performs there also wanted and in a not so subtle way. Not helping was at a certain point, each and every amateur showcase (which featured recent graduates) was flat-out not funny. Like way too many “hot chicks” who felt the key getting laugh was by cursing a lot and making fart noises (basically, Jenny McCarthy wannabes) and that no one had the guts to say “sorry, but you’re just not very funny”, mostly because dudes were afraid of ruining any possibility of banging them. Note: the UCB is not to blame for this, they’re ultimately a business, and simply cashed in on their surge in popularity. If people want to take classes to try and learn the tricks of the trade, who are they to deny them? I guess being exposed to the behind the scenes of the comedy world in general was another turn-off. Though from what I’ve heard, it’s not nearly as bad over in Cali, though people on both coasts still do WAY too much coke. And as for the scenesters, as annoying and creepy as indie comic and video game dorks can be, comedy dorks are almost worst than both combined.

Anyway, what led me back? For Game Bros. LIVE! a show that features “a comedian’s look at video games”

So, how was it? Here’s the deal: I’ve often wanted to go on a tirade and rant about the term “nerd” and how, especially in the year 2009, its become so completely meaningless. Which I know is sure to offend and annoy many out there, even some friends, that love to go and on about how “nerdy” they and their exploits are. And to each their own, but fact: hardly anyone is a nerd anymore. Virtually everyone is internet savy, virtually everyone is into stuff like Battlestar Galactica, Lost, or some similar crap, and virtually everyone plays video games, or grew up playing Nintendo and can hum the theme to Super Mario Bros, to name a few.

To me, being a nerd is like being in Fight Club. You don’t talk about it. Mostly because there’s no need to. For example, this past Friday night was spent at home, along with Katie, playing Halo 3 with Dave Mauro and Joe Salina. Which I guess might be “ultra nerdy” in some people’s opinions, but to us, it was just another Friday night. Perhaps my perspective is skewed, because I spend so much time with like-minded people; whenever I hang out with buds to play games, discuss anime, or to spend the whole night watching the best parts of assorted Ian Holm movies, not once do we all of a sudden scream “OMG WE ARE SUCH NERDS!!!” to each other. Then again, aside from the intense need to feel that they are part of something, to belong, many people also love to overstate the obvious (which I’m more than guilty of as well).

Then again, I guess my beef is also with people who love to proudly proclaim that they’re nerds, but really are not, perhaps in hopes of being considered part of the aforementioned club. Since nerds are still chique as far as I can tell. And to those of us who might be “the real thing”, we often find such behavior condescending and obnoxious, mostly because of what is presented as proof. Oh hey, you like Star Wars and have seen it a zillion times. Congratulations, so does 70 million other people, it’s a major franchise, and is always on TV. The fetishizing of nerds is a whole different world, which I suppose I’m guilty of, at least in the past. Like when I was single and I would often be found saying that I like nerdy chicks. That was until a good friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, pointed out “No, you like girls with glasses. Because REAL nerdy girls are totally disgusting: unkempt, retarded…” The not so kind list goes on. And while I do realize it was intended to be an exaggeration, and a mean-spirited one at that, I also understood his point, that being everything is idealized. Though for the record, I’d much rather take a shy, even goony acting girl that’s into manga than some broad that loves to “club it up” any-day. Though it once again needs to be pointed out that the current fashion trend among hipsters in Willamsburg is to dress so out there and dorky like that they basically end up adopting the same exact fashion sense as actual people with developmental disabilities. And speaking of nerdiness being stylish, I also find it insulting when people wear glasses when they don’t have bad vision. Yes, I know that they can be ultra fashionable, and I myself find them very aesthetically pleasing, as just illustrated, yet I also find them fundamentally wrong. If I was deaf, I’d probably be insulted by people wearing hearing aides despite having perfecting hearing, simply because they’re the in thing.

Though ultimately, it might be just me. I’m guilty of many things, and taking stuff for granted is definitely one of them. Okay, what exactly is the point of all of this nonsense? To set up my other points, so going back to Game Bros. LIVE! Again, how was it? To put it bluntly, not very good. Yet I was definitely in the minority; everyone else appeared to enjoy it immensely. To be honest, it’s my fault for not reading the description in the email blast that I received, which is how I learnt of the show in the first place; I was expecting some big, wacky sketch driven explosion, sorta how wrestling was handled in Piledriver. Meaning a bunch of video game stereotypes, perhaps even characters themselves in wacky outfits, interacting on-stage and maybe even with the audience. Instead, what you got was a basic monologue driven show with some guest interviews. Which can be more than decent if handled well. But not here. I also ignored the warning sign before the show as well; there was this girl near me, talking to her other friends, how when she explained to her co-workers that she was seeing a show about video games, and how they “freaked out” over her level of nerdiness. Yeah, right. I’m pretty sure freaked out is an exaggeration, and then again, maybe not? Other than two bona-fide gamer dorks (two quiet looking, almost surly looking dudes), they were most definitely not my people in attendance. I should have realized that this show would not be for me.

Game Bros. LIVE! was hosted by Kumail Nanjiani and Thomas Middleditch, who at the very least had a decent rapport. I found Nanjiani to be super charismatic and therefore the most enjoyable, while Middleditch was simply okay. He reminded me of my pal Travis Nichols, though the dude is NOWHER near as cool. But neither of the two was at all offensive, thank goodness. Both kicked things off with a rundown of what’s going on in the world of games, or at least that’s what was promised, so I expected something about the GDC, albeit in a format that a non-hardcore gamer audience (which it was more than apparently the case here… at least at Piledriver, you definitely spotted more than a few wrestling nerds) could digest. But nope. Instead, they talked about how the box arts for X-Blade are different between the Xbox 350 and PS3, and then showed a wacky trailer from the new 50 Cent game, Blood on the Sands, courtesy of IGN. Which prompted Middleditch to go into some god-awful Tracey Morgan impression. Sorry, but there’s never nothing worse than seeing some stand-up comic/comedic personality on-stage do someone who is such a close contemporary, for perhaps obvious reasons. There was also a clip of Noby Noby Boy shown, and while II fully realize that some long-winded explanation of the game and its background would bore any audience to tears, the “OMG, THAT’S SO WACKY JAPPY!!!” was rather obnoxious.

Next was a segment on games based on comic books, which brought out the special guests for the evening. It was two dudes who do a similar show that takes place at another improv comedy club; Pete LePage and Alex Zalben from The Comic Book Club. I never seen the show before, but given what I know from hearing of it in passing, particularly their guest list, I have a strong feeling that it services a slightly more serious/hardcore crowd that Game Bros. Anyhow, Nanjiani and Middleditch simply played a bunch of clips from crappy games based on comics, including Superman 64 (of course) and Aquaman and that crappy Catwoman movie starring Halle Berry, which mostly led to our two hosts asking the comic book guys a bunch of comic book questions. Overall, not very entertaining, and I know it’s silly to demand more video game content, and that the two dudes prepare a bit more, since it’s supposed to be improvisational and all, but when you go through the effort of editing a bunch of movie clips together, you’d think that some bullet-points would stick in one’s mind.

Afterwards they had Zalben play some Marble Madness. Apparently, each guest has to play the game; there was a list of every previous score, with the highest going to some guy on SNL I think…

… It was by far the best part of the whole thing. Much like Tetris, its one of those games that works even when you’re not holding the controller, and the crowd was totally into every lucky move and missed opportunity. I forget Zalben’s score, but it was enough to rank him third overall. Not bad! Then Middleditch went for a spin and did really well, which I suppose was to be expected since he bragged about being an expert player with the game. Now, if the show had ended right then and there, I would not have minded. But it went on…

Some additional video clips followed, including the crazy woman auditioning for that the banned Xbox 1 commercial, which I would have to assume everyone and their moms has seen by now (hence why I’m too lazy to even find it myself and add a link). Yet again, maybe I just take for granted that everyone has seen everything like myself. Once more, the show wasn’t for people like me, a hardcore gamers type, but those on the fringes (as well as people who believe they are hardcore), so perhaps I’m being too judgmental. Maybe being a nerd still means something, to someone. Perhaps that girl from before was not joking when she stated that her co-workers were freaking out. I still call bullsh*t to that one, because we live in NYC, which I would like to believe is a tad bit more progressive than that. I realize that things are not the same across the country, and how everyone has different standards (as Katie loves to point out, I view the world with an entirely different “set of rules” as opposed to 99.99% of all other human beings). Then again, much like when people show YouTube clips on cable access, I can’t imagine anything lazier. Seriously, if you let me on stage with a laptop as well, I’m more than certain that I could collect ten or so clips that will have an entire building howling with laughter.

Next was the review segment of the show, which centered on Street Fighter 4. When Nanjiani stated, “This is the part where we make fun of a game for something, but there’s honestly nothing wrong with the game” I had to seriously stop myself from groaning. Note to self: next time I go to a show, any show, don’t sit in the front row where the people on stage can see you at all times, hence any negative reactions will clearly come across, unless you want that to be the case. At least he did segue to a clip showing all the wacky end statements that Ryu makes during the course of the game. That, along with all the quips that were made, were at least pretty funny, maybe the funniest thing the entire show. As for Middleditch, his favorite game of the week was dealing with Error Core 74, and the subsequent phone calls with Microsoft’s absolutely inept tech support over his broken Xbox 360. Now that was funny because it was true!

Finally there was a drawing for a free game, but the winner had to answer a trivia question first. Nanjiani asked the dude if he was familiar at all with Street Fighter, and the person said yes, with part 2 quite confidently. And then he couldn’t figure out any of the new characters’ names that were introduce in Super SF2. Talk about an epic fail. I guess that more than anything summed up the show. I guess you’re interested in what gaming culture is all about and ultimately know nothing about it (which I would have to assume encompasses nobody that regularly reads this site), perhaps the show might hold some educational, in additional to entertainment value. Actually, not even. There’s countless other ways one to compose a show that would appear to both seasoned gamers and total strangers to the world, whereas this one, unfortunately, was perhaps one of the absolute worst shows I have ever seen at the UCB.

One last thing: this past Friday, Dave Roman instant messaged me with “Sorry to hear about Anime Insider.” I was like, huh? I had apparently missed the news earlier that morning, how the plug was just pulled on the magazine. Which some might recall, I JUST started writing for! So I’m my first issue was it’s very last…

… Oh well. That’s how it goes with the world of print these days. So yeah, grab it while you can! I’m kind all over the place in that issue. And because there’s no one to send angry letters and emails to, please pass along all critiques and complaints (as well as praise for including so many awesome games that most, especially in print, tends to ignore) to yours truly directly!

  • http://www.jennydevildoll.com Jenny DevilDoll

    Ha ha, my bassist told me I lost “nerd points” one night because I didn’t know what “rolled a 20″ meant!

    I see your nameless friends point on the difference between real nerds and idealized ones. Like a few months ago when NY Press ran some feature on nerds and everyone they featured was a young attractive person from either Williamsburg or Greenpoint with some sort of cool publishing or tech job–they just all happened to wear glasses. I think what needs to be retired maybe is the idea that glasses=nerd. Show me an obese 40 year old virgin living in Mom’s basement and getting together once a week for a sausage party online game fest and then we’ll talk, NY Press!

  • http://eyeburn.info Chad

    To me, nerd has always just been shorthand for anyone who is prone to fixation and introversion.

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