08/06/2007

“If a bear fucks his clone in the woods…”

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Yo… another somewhat late update. Once again, been a crazy week. Trust me… the craziest. Anyhow, this one covers the three basics: comic books, movies, and parties!

- As promised, here’s some pics from the San Diego Comic Con, courtesy of MK, for those of you who weren’t able to make it to the show (like myself). She took quite a few shots of the show, as well as the beautiful flora that one can find in the parks of San Diego. But I know what my readers want, and its certainly not pictures of trees and flowers. You guys want cosplay or tits or GTFO. So anyhow…

The Comic Con is usually the place where the hype train for next year’s summer blockbuster begins to roll, especially if it’s based on a comic book. This year it was MK and she explained how Iron Man banners where plastered all over the city, and even had photographic evidence to prove this fact. Here’s one in a somewhat blurry shot from the convention floor, and below is a Stark Industries crate which contained one of the suits which I guess you could check out if you came up close…

… But yeah, as a long-time fan of ol’ shell-head, that pictures simply makes me so damn happy. The Iron Man movie is FINALLY fucking happening, and it might actually kick ass!

The con also has plenty of folks in costumes, but it’s less animu and more traditional, American comic book and movie-based characters. Here we have a father and son team, assuming the roles of Batman and Robin, a la the campy 60′s television program. As you can see, the attention to detail, primarily to the bat suit, is pretty insane, and virtually indiscernible to Adam West’s original threads…

… MK noted that it was a father and son team, and it was pretty clear that the son was hella awkward and uncomfortable. Perhaps this has been their “thing” for a while now, and the kid is just getting too damn old for this shit, sorry dad.

Here’s a spot on Dr. Girlfriend from the Venture Brothers!

… MK also discovered that the girl’s voice was very high-pitched, almost squeaky, which was a major bummer to all who approached her.

You also have plenty of toys and sculptures on-display. Here’s a Ripley action figure, in her power suit, from Aliens…

And here’s some Transformers busts…

And here’s some dudes dressed up as Transformers! If they were melting or something…

Voltron shoes…

R2 and C3PO made out of Legos…

The soon to be released King of Kong, which as most already know, I’ve done extensive coverage on, had a presence…

Oh, so remember the mention of a girl dressed up as Aeon Flux who had “balls”? Well here she is…

… and at first, I simply went “Hey, that’s not bad… she’s got the hair and everything”. Till I saw the behind shot…

But as crazy as that is, she’s easily trumped by the girl that was hired to help promote Grindhouse. They actually went out and got a girl with a missing leg…

… Holy fucking shit. And she was a huge hit; dudes’ jaws were dropped and had huge boners apparently. And you know what? I bet that girl loved every minute of it too.

- MK also came from Cali bearing gifts, including a copy of I’m a Cyborg But That’s Okay on DVD, from Thailand, as well as an issue of what is easily this summer’s hottest comic, The Incredible Change-Bots by Jeffery Brown…

… I am not bullshitting, every single fan of the Transformers or stupid robot toys from the 80s NEEDS to get their hands on this book. Here’s just at taste…

On a similar note, Dave got me this…

… Looks like the instructions to a Transformer from back in the day right? Actually that’s what I first thought (to Skids, which I had as a kid), but it’s actually a mini comic!

And Vitamin Steve was kind enough to pass along these primo SCTV trading cards…

- Okay, let’s go back in time, back to… this past summer’s MoCCA Art Fest. MK clued me onto this picture of us at the show, which I had seen before, but I wasn’t aware of Melanie Lewis‘ account of our encounter at the show!

Also, recently found out that the Indie Spinner Rack recently finished up their MoCCA wrap-up, and the now infamous Pat Lewis “dickshot” was mentioned, twice! The two hosts, Charlito & Mister Phil, touch upon it briefly in part one, as does Pat in his interview segment in part four, who was also nice enough to plug my site. Thanks Pat! I knew drinking a shot that his pecker was in was well worth it.

- Time to go the other way… to the future. Just wanted to pass along the cover to the third UNLUCKY preview mini!

It will make its debut at the Toronto Comic Arts Festival, which takes place the 18th and 19th of this month. And immediately afterwards, it’ll be for sale in the store, though for all you Canadians out there, this is your chance to get the latest mini before everyone else in America, as well as pick up the first two editions. Remember, I don’t mind shipping to the Great White North, but its kind of a pain! So please stop on by MK’s table!

- Saw two movies this past weekend. The first was Live Free And Die Hard, which was pretty god damn amazing. As a relatively new fan of the Die Hard series (yeah, I know), the film didn’t disappoint; it’s perhaps the best, and without a doubt the most over the top, action flick I’ve seen in years. But aside from the awesome stunts and special effects, Bruce Willis as a total bad-ass yet again, plus Maggie Q, the best part of the film for myself was the totally insane plot. Which can be best summed by this Penny Arcade strip.

The second flick was the Simpsons Movie, which… surprise!…. didn’t totally suck! It was actually decent! Mind you, it’s no where near as brilliant as it once was, but I’m fairly certain no was expecting it to be. Many long-time diehard Simpsons fans, such as myself, was expecting it to bite, since the glory days have long since been gone (its actually gotten better in the past two seasons, but I think everyone has becomes so jaded that its been hard to notice), but the story was enjoyable, despite copying the plot from an episode or three, and the gags were actually funny! The animation was overall excellent, and pretty much every single bit-character got his or her moment in the sun. There was a very excellent, and subtle, reference to a favorite episode of mine from season one, plus a character dies, one that deserved to be put to rest. Everyone else was expecting at least one death… right?

- Also went to two different parties as well. Last night’s was a BBQ in Bay Ridge that was hosted by Mike O’Connor‘s buddies Fritz and Martha. After a rather long, hard week, I welcomed the chance to get nice and buzzed, which I did. Among the many scintillating topics covered: gay pie eating contests, dead chick authors, how upset Mike’s wife Liz was with the Real Doll documentary I linked to in the forums, how being a 25 year old male virgin is not something to be proud of, and, for the first time ever, I finally revealed my bizarro sexual fantasies, which involves aliens, cloning, and mucus. I guess it came up when Mike asked “why?” regarding the Mucus Girl pics (again, you have to check out the forum’s secret section to know what the hell I’m talking about).

EDIT: And Mike also put it best with: “everyone but me beats off to really complicated shit with its own backstory and everything.” Plus, I forgot to mention how Colin lost his car.

And today was Ric Meyers‘ birthday/housewarming shin-dig in Connecticut. As expected, there was plenty of kung-fu action (as well as lots of chicken and some excellent potato salad), though not in the form of a dozen Shaolin monks jumping all around Ric’s front yard as kinda expected (and hoped). Instead I simply watched some of Wheels on Meals, an old Jackie Chan/Sammo Hung kung fu, comedy classic, and chatted with Ric’s long-time friend Stephen Watson, whom Ric considers one of the most dangerous men to walk this earth was in attendance. He’s a martial arts expert and I got to pick his brain about all sorts of kung fu stuff, though the highlight of the day was when we decided to take a stroll through the nearby graveyard and Stephen decided to lob tennis balls at one of the tombs.

- As for tomorrow (or later today, depending on when you’re reading this), there’s yet another one! The official Girls’ Guide To Guys’ Stuff release party that is. If you’re in the city, stop on by the MoCCA Gallery (for directions, here you go) to get a copy of the anthology that’s chock full of awesome female talents from the world of comics. Plus, along with MK, who again was the edtior, a bunch of contributors will be present, such as Raina, Katie, Liz, Miss, Alisa Harris, and Abby Denson. So be there and have them do cute drawings for you! And if you can’t… you can always get a copy at the Friends of Lulu site, or better yet, bug your local comic shop for a copy or ten.

EDIT: The party was a SUCCESS! The turn out was pretty decent, all things considered (it was a Monday night, and there was fear of rain, which thankfully never materialized). The highlight of the evening, at least for me, has to be the creation of a brand new band which I’m the bassist, or the back-up singer, or something: The Anime Pussy Hounds.

  • http://www.lizbaillie.com Liz

    Die Hard 4 was so awesome! I saw it twice. The second time my friend and I just made fun of it the whole time but it was still awesome. The whole fake internet speak was definitely the best part. We lost it every time someone said something like “Continue the download!” or whenever that lady would roll out her own keyboard even though there was already a keyboard there. Gotta love the Die Hard! And I’m a new fan of the franchise myself, so don’t feel too bad. You know there is gonna be a Die Hard puppet show sometime at the end of August. I forget the details but I’ll let you know if we end up getting tickets.

    Also I’m not gonna be at the party tonight, I’ve been feeling pukey since yesterday so I’m gonna lay low today.

  • http://www.gamersquarter.com Shapermc

    I love Aeon Flux… but like… those are your worst photos from the set. You can’t really see the costume.

  • http://www.vitaminsteve.com Steve Flack

    So you know Ric Meyers! I sat next to him on my flight to San Diego for the last two years in a row. He’s a real nice guy, and I’ve felt bad that I haven’t had a chance to get to him “Kung Fu Extravaganza” panel at SDCC.

    -Steve!

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Liz: Yeah, every time someone uttered some internet-babble in some ultra-serious tone, MK looked at me to catch my expression. And needless to say, I had no idea Die Hard 4 would be a comedy.

    And yeah, I feel kinda stupid that it took so long to Die Hard 1 (which was this past Xmas at MK’s… it really is a Christmas movie!) and I’m looking forward to seeing the other two, even though I heard Die Harder is kinda stupid. Only saw bits and pieces of Die Hard 3 a whiles back and it looked good… guess I should catch them before seeing it adapted by puppets?

    ShaperMC: Well don’t blame me, or MK, blame her kinda poopy camera, which at least is far better in her hands. When I try to use it, 95% of the pictures turn out blurry.

    Vitamin Steve: Yeah, Ric is a cool guy, and has like the awesomest collection of martial arts movie memorabilia on the face of the earth. Then again, its not too surprising, given that he is good friends with Jackie Chan!

  • Sheep_Herder

    That pic of the Grindhouse girl is just insane.

    And is that Reebok that’s doing the Voltron shoes?

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