Before I get started…
Subway Story #472
So I was waiting for a train on the downtown R platform in Chinatown. It was Friday evening after work; I was tired, hungry, and pissed. Pissed for a lot of reasons, but I’ll just state the one that matters the most at that moment: the subways have been fucking hell all god damn week, way worse than usual. I had been late, and I mean late, pretty much every single instance if subway travel was any way connected. So each time I went underground, I knew what to expect, and everyday it has just been worse. Anyway, I’m on the platform, near the turnstile, since that’s close to the stairs going up, because I can get reception there, and I’m talking on the phone (yeah, I’m that kind of New Yorker, so blow me) when this old Italian woman comes up to me and asks “Do these trains go uptown?” And to that I respond, no, this is downtown, points to the sign, and I then tell her to go to the other side. And of course, she has this sour fucking puss on her face and goes “Oh” and walking away. And I fucking hate that shit because I just gave her potentially valuable info and no god damn thanks, so as she walks away, I yell out “YOU’RE WELCOME” and then she looks at me like I just called her a cunt, and god damn it, I fucking should have.
And then I notice that she’s with her kids, I think. Mind you, this woman’s in her 50′s/60′s, and the kids looked to be in their 20′s/30′s. A fat guido and his sister to be more precise. Anyway, she decides to head towards the stairs, but then she stops and asks “Are you sure?” which makes me really angry because, dear God, what a fucking stupid question. So I yell back, with “No, I’m fucking lying” and she just snorts and moves on. I then immediately take a closer look at the guy, and I just realize that this big fuck could easily beat the shit out of me, and maybe should since I’ve been dissecting his mother. But he has this look of semi-embarrasment mixed with a “I’m sorry my mom’s such a dumb bitch” expression, which I can certainly related because, dude, I’VE BEEN THERE.
Then my train arrived and it actually didn’t take me two hours to get home! Its funny how my new job is like half the distance from home when compared to my last job, and the first couple of days have been an ultra speedy commute, but this entire weeks, it?s literally four times as long. Oh I’m sorry… its the cold. Whatever.
Not sure if that story was that enjoyable, but anyway….
The World Goes On, But I Stay In Touch, Thanks To The Team
Well what’s been going on? Why the lack of updates? Well, I’ve been damn busy at my new job. A lots been going on, but I’m not at liberty to get into specifics, due to NDA’s and the such. So the only thing that I can really state that’s safe for public consumption is how, at my new desk, there’s all these boxes of junk piled all over the place, from who knows who or where, and decided to finally open one. What was inside? A bunch of old MASK toys!!!
Anyway, been working crazy hours, so I’ve barely had a chance to surf the web, but thankfully, friends and colleagues have been kind enough to keep me abreast with what’s going on. In fact, earlier this evening, Robin commented how my site’s is like the Daily Show, and both him and Katie are like Mo Rocca and Steve Carell (though I don’t I who is who). So, time to look at the best what I’ve gotten over the past week; some of it might be old news, but for those missed it….
- Another thing that has fallen victim to my new heavier workload has been my GSW movie review column which, no, is not dead. It’s just tricky finding really obscure stuff (a lot of it seriously involves me tracking down the directing for a copy). Well Job altered to the fact that Destructioid has kinda beat me to the bunch with one film (I won’t go far as to say stole my thunder, but it most certainly the third film in line that I was going to review) with their look at Joysticks. Oh well.
And to be totally honest, I think their review of the Super Mario Bros Movie is stronger than mine.
- Dave Roman passed this interesting read along; he that claimed it reminded him of me, because the author apparently kinda writes like I do, and not I’m… well, you’ll see, which I consider that a compliment: a gay teenage boy’s youth as it relates to the Ninja Turtles. And the author is totally spot on: Donatello was a far better nerd than Anthony Michael Hall.
- And on a totally coincidental note, Ed Siemienkowicz emailed this the very same day: some clip of some crazy chick TMNT fan. Yikes.
- Back to Nerve, both Robin and MK simply had to show me this: an anti-furry comic by Chynna Clugston.
- When I came home Thursday afternoon, MK had left this on my Mac: a behind the scenes look at the filming of one episode of The Whorecraft (kinda NSFW). Which I believe is either a off-shoot or just a rename of the Whores of Warcraft that I mentioned a few months back.
- Got this earlier this afternoon from Katie: a Korean food journal, along with the message: “You guys are weird.” And guess what? Now that I’ve been reminded of it, I could seriously go for a bowl of Budae Jjigae right about now (that’s hot dog and spam soup for you round-eyes).
- Speaking of weird shit to eat, and going back to porn for a sec, here’s info on Japanese cockroach eating porn.
And if you think that’s nuts, then there’s my friend, who has asked to remain unidentified, so passed along a link to a site that’s all about naked chick smashing live lobsters to death, but I’ll spare everything that for perhaps obvious reasons (though those that are interested know how to get ahold of me).
- Then there was Steve Flack who passed along what might be the biggest bit of video game news to break during my absence (at lease by my standards, but perhaps others): the true story behind Street Fighter: The Movie – The Game.
Video Games Highlights, To Be Exact
As for other bits of gaming news, I’ve only really gotten a chance to peruse GameSetWatch and Insert Credit for the most part. And while I was gone, I missed (and maybe you did too?)…
- Everyone knows that I’m a diehard Rez fan, which is why I’m getting all hot and bothered for this one: Everyday Shooter, which is all arty-farty/shump like. According to the author, it appears to literally be a “mixtape” of games that examines and explores abstract shooters. Seems kinda like R.I.G., but in playable form! Can’t wait to play the final version.
- On a similar tip, check out when vector art mashes with the world of fine arts. Its very pretty.
- Hey, virt’s imaginary game soundtrack has finally been released!
- So, there’s now going to be a Katamary Damacy Online? Okay… And its being developed in Korea. Interesting. That reminds me, anyone have any idea how Shenmue Online is coming along?
- We all know that one can exercise your brain with a DS. Well how about psychoanalysis? It might soon be possible with DS Therapy.
- The IC also pointed towards a wacky 9/11 conspiracy theory when it comes to the death of the America arcade. Okay…. And I only mention this because 9/11 in conjunction with video games has been somewhat of a common occurrence for me this week (don’t ask).
- John Green also gave me the heads up on this one originally: an eBay auction for the piece of art from the back of Monkey Island 2 (which just ended earlier this week…. too late).
- And Mike (O’Connor) also passed along a couple of clips from an episode of the Tyra Banks show that deals with Worlds of Warcraft addiction that was all the rage I’m assuming while I was gone, but in case anyone else missed them…
- According to this interview with D3′s American branch in Gamasutra, Zombie vs Ambulance is not coming state-side. Bummer.
- So some dude has managed to overclock a bunch of consoles, including his Genesis, PCEngine and even Dreamcast, then created videos of what the games look like in action. The best of the bunch is easily the Sonic one, especially how crazy the graphics and primarily the sound becomes. Its even kinda scary!
- Courtesy of Select Button comes yet another tiresome and boring “games is/are not art” argument, but this one is at least somewhat interesting from the fact that its a Michel Gondry comment that kicks things off (he’s apparently on the “they aren’t good, nor good for you” camp, which is a bummer to hear, but oh well). Though like all threads of its kind, it goes nowhere real fast.
Oh, and a bunch of additional freeware/doujin softs that’s popped up in the past week or so…
- La Mulana, yet another wacky looking platformer from Japan that looks all MSX-like. Its apparently VERY hard.
- Overray, a neat, R-Type-y looking shmup.
- Double Wires, a simple little Flash time-waster as pointed out by a blog that covers “psychics games”, and which I keep forgetting to talk about.
- Another wacky platformer from Japan, this one done entirely in ASCII. It called Jinseiowata no Daibouken, or as someone at SB translated it as Your Life Is End. The YouTube trailer is simply required viewing.
Speaking off…
YouTube Theater: Mini Wacky Jappy/Furries Edition
Here’s a few vids, which I think I found on Select Button. You know, I don’t so much go there for video game news or discussion as I do for crazy shit, like that R-Type/Power Puff Girls crossover comic that my mind is still reeling from (and courtesy of a guy who actually remembers the fake blog I used to do, the one where I had shitty psychic powers, built a robot out of spare Sega consoles parts, and had to fight a super intelligent alligator that was the product of the Clinton administration… sup TOLLMASTER, if you’re reading this). Anyhow…
- Here’s a pretty creepy clip of some dude playing the Zelda for the Wii dressed up as Rei from Evangelion. I guess the creep-factor is off the charts due to the fact that he’s wearing an almost surgical mask, making it all very Michael Jackson like.
I also saw another one featuring the same guy, dressed up as another animu chick (Haruhi Suzumiya) and jabbing a vibrator into the eye of the Rei mask plus other another characer, all the while making funny voices, but I’m afraid I lost it. And maybe its for the best.
- And give it up to the Japanese for making perhaps the best version of Star Wars yet.
- Here’s the trailer to some horror flick, and while I generally find most Japanese horror films lame, at least this one deals with killer hair extensions.
- Back to an earlier subject, while looking for an aerobics video that I had to do in elementary school(seriously), I “accidentally” came across this fury excersize clip.
- Afterwards I decided to click around for a bit and came across this look at some furry convention before calling it quits. Its most notable for the soundtrack, which has to be the most insane song ever (I’m guessing its what furries listen to? and I thought the average animu’s freaks taste in music was attrocious).
- Time for another fake trailer for a movie loosely based on a game (that Dick originally showed me not too long ago), this one being Pac Man. Pretty typical for its kind really, and perhaps nothing special, though I really like the music near the end, which I’m sure most people won’t notice is based on the game as well.
Meanwhile, Back To Reality
Friday night was Robin’s birthday. I brought the Guitar Hero guitars, MK brought the ice cream cake. Along for the fun was television’s Matt Singer, his girlfriend Mel, Liz, and her husband Zane who kept yelling “Hamkins!!!” at the end whenever I bitched and moaned or told a story, and that felt simply awesome. He was also sporting perhaps the greatest comic book shirt I have ever seen, a fanmade/bootleg Watchmen shirt with just the Doctor Manhattan logo super big (I really wish I had a camera). And aside from goofing one some fat, cross-eyed fuck on NY1 talking about Yankee baseball that also had a stupid looking mustache (which I suspect provided a home for a chicken mcnugget at one point or another) was actually finding something worth watching on Brooklyn cable access (which doesn’t even hold a candle to Manhattan cable access): Concrete TV! Unfortunately, during the spinning logos and cars in commercials sequence, which immediately followed the acid tripping/footage of eyes zooming in and out sequence, which happened to follow the people on fire segment of the show, Robin’s cable zonked out (fucking Brooklyn).
BTW, I also recently heard that Guita Hero is coming out for the Wii, which isn’t surprising since now Neversoft is making the games (they’re the folks behind Tony Hawk for those wasn’t aware or forgot). So I expect to hear about PS3, PSone, Xbox 1, DS, PSP, and GBA version to announced real soon as well.
Anyway, later in the evening, I purchased an episode of Whorecraft. Hey, I was curious, plus MK likes anything with bears in it, and episode 4 appeared to feature one. And… I can’t believe both of us got suckered in by the semblance of pseudo-legitimacy from the site and interview with the creator. Its a porn all-right, which means all the shit you expect from porn: crappy acting and a limp storyline. Okay, I really can’t comment on that since all we did was skip around the episode, but aside from decent costumes, its just porno sex. Plus the bear was it in for like 15 seconds. Lame. Though I’m still thinking about getting episode 2 because the site features a screencap of two fat guys in a bubble (I’m assuming its some magical shield or something).
The next day we went off to Dave Mauro’s. Originally Pete (from Anamanaguchi) was supposed to show up with his Guitar Hero axes, but he woke up late or something, so instead myself, MK, Dave, and his roommate Matt just played mostly Xbox 360 softs. MK got to try out Dead Rising, and she enjoyed it immensely, as predicted. And I convinced the dudes to download the Def Jam Icon demo, and it most certainly did not disappoint. Can’t believe it myself, but EA’s interactive Sketchers ad totally hits the mark. I also brought over two Dreamcast controllers, which meant a few four player rounds of Chu Chu Rocket, and MK & I went at if in Wii Sports for a bit. Dave even let me fuck around with that DS guitar simulator.
Originally I was going to bring over my PSP so he could flash it and install a slew of emulators and a few PSone games (he even suggested I make Love Love 2 portable… btw, thanks to the fine folks at SB, I will hopefully get my Mac up and running to play that game and a review will then be coming shortly thereafter), but since I don’t have a memory stick, that will have to wait. Oh, and people have been asking what PSP games I have, so here’s the list thus far (most of which was acquired during my trip last week):
- Lumines (of course, its the reason why I got the system in the first place).
- Every Extend Extra
- Gunpey (I like it MUCH better than the DS version, though its still pretty “eh”)
- Wipeout Pure
- Katamari 3 (and wow, the controls really are as bad as everyone has been saying)
- Tokobot
- Exit
- Gradius Collection
- Darkstalkers (this was the very first PSP game I ever bought, and one of the few I actually purchased; it was like $10 at Toys R Us)
- Mega Man Powered Up (I know it has it fans, but as a long time fan, especially of the original games, I just can’t get into the esthetics and sound… I’m the last person on earth to say this, but its too “kiddie” for me)
- Ultimate Ghouls N Ghosts (haven’t even opened the shrink-wrap, and I’m wondering if I should bother since I just flat-out dislike the series)
- Power Stone Collection (come on Capcom, Rival Schools/Project Justice Collection next, or just a Tech Romancer re-release)
- Burnout Legends
- Bust A Move Deluxe (talk about butchered music)
- WTF
- Platypus (which I can’t play since I would have to upgrade the firmware, which I most certainly don’t want to do at this point).
BTW, when ShaperMC finally found out that I got one, when Dave told him on the SB boards, his first response was “THE SHAME!!!!! And, all I can say is that I am enjoying it far more than I thought would, or even want to admit. And finally, Dave also introduced me to a killer doujin shmup called Clean Asia.
Afterwards MK & I went over to Joe Simko’s, where we all had dinner along with June and Jay, then watched some shitty movies. First up was Ice Cream Man, starring Clint Howard as a demented ice cream peddler, along with a virtual parade of pathetic Hollywoodland wash-ups, including Steve Garvey, Lee Majors II, the chick from Conan the Barbarian, the court reporter from the People’s Court, and Jan-Michael Vincent. I saw a clip of it from K Thor’s Evil Video (who also gave me the movie as well) of the ice cream man presenting some woman with a dude’s severed head on a waffle cone (that dude being the star of American Werewolf in London), and assumed the whole thing would be as awesome, but the rest turned out to be not as nearly gruesome or exciting. But at least it was hella fun making fun of Jan-Michael Vincent. Then it was Slugs The Movie (based on a book!) and it really reminds you how unattractive pretty much every person on the face of earth really was during the 80′s. The plot centered on toxic-waste powered flesh-eating slug terrorizing some sleepy town in upstate New York, with the highlight being some guy’s head exploding at some fancy-smancy restaurant, with baby slug shooting out of an eye socket.
As for today, just the regular Sunday visit to Rocketship. I got the new Shazam book by Jeff Smith, purely because of the hot dog/evil alligator men content. Then it was back to Robin’s place; he got his DVD recorder from work and made a dub of the insanely obscure 80s video game movie that K Thor also passed along to me a whiles back, specifically for my GSW column. Its so obscure that its not even listed in IMDB. A review should be coming very soon! I also gave him Black Belt Jones to make a DVD from since my VHS is about 15 years old and might not last much longer.
Oh, and I stumbled across this image…
… Among a hundred other awesome images over at the new best website ever.
A Temporary Home
Also, just earlier, Mike helped set up the temporary home for the Fort90 Forums! Basically, the real thing is still a whiles a away from being completed, so in the interim, Mike was been kind enough to lend a piece of his dhex.org forums. I guess it?s a test run of sorts, to see what might happen. Anyway, I won’t be turing it on till Monday afternoon or evening, but till then, feel free to register.
