So I’m back. Yay. Actually, been back since late Friday. Been kinda busy ever since… mostly decompressing. Anyway, the trip? Just as expected: mentally and emotionally draining. Actually, far more so than usual. For assorted reasons, every trip back home just gets more and more depressing.
As they say, you just can’t go home again. One primary reason: child predators. My old neighborhood (suburban Lakewood, Washington) is less than a mile away from the state mental institution, so seeing bona-fide crazy people walk the streets was just an everyday fact of life growing up (and provided an excellent primer for life in the Big Apple). Because the folks in charge only let the docile, harmless ones walk the streets, for the most part, they were okay. Sure, one or two would occasionally snap and jerk off in some unsuspecting person’s hair when they weren’t paying attention while at the library or at McDonald’s, but otherwise, it was cool. The intermingling of kids and the not so sane, at least in the eyes of the state, adults was generally accepted by the community and went without incident. But these days, my old neighborhood is a ghost town. From what I’ve gathered… and this totally sounds like the plot to some comic book… there used to be a prison island not too far from the area that closed down a few years ago for whatever reason. The place was home for primarily sex offenders, mostly child molesters, who I guess were just let go when the jail ceased operation. And they all migrated and made their home in my old home. Very lame. And very creepy.
Another thing is the war in Iraq. My town is right next to Fort Lewis, a major Army Base, one that’s suffered quite a few casualties from the meaningless conflict in the Middle East. So morale is pretty low in those parts. Yet, like all good soldiers, everyone’s dedication to the cause, as well as to the commander in chief, is completely unwavered. Which is, sorry, pretty lame. Most people assume Washington to be completely populated by tree-hugging hippy liberal scum, but that’s just not the case; the place is slowly becoming a red state. Yet another problem: I do not drive. Which meant once again, I was a slave to the pavement and public transportation, which works well in NYC, but not so much in most other places. Though it almost didn’t matter this time around since the tour through the old haunts has become less and less significant and interesting via subsequent trips back home. I think the playground at my old elementary school has become as kid-friendly and banal as possible. I did stop by the B&I, the old amusement center/arcade that I loved as a child, but even that was too depressing for me, though I managed to play a few rounds of Virtua Fighter 1 and Virtua Racing (though the machine is pretty much all but dead; the steering is almost completely shot, the seat is flat-out broken, and I almost sliced by hand due to the plastic surrounding the cock-pit being in shambles). I also came close to picking up an old Mega Drive game called Fatman, but it was in shitty shape and the asking price was too much. And that’s pretty much it; I didn’t even make it up to Seattle this time around. But again, without a car, you’re pretty much stuck in the downtown, touristy areas, which have gotten old at this point. Plus, the weather was kinda crappy, I knew there would be no new games at Gameworks, plus there was some crazy guy dousing people with lighter fluid and setting their hair on fire anyway.
That also means no pictures this time around, but then again, I no longer have access to a digital camera (the ones I’ve been using were SVA’s). Which still kinda sucked since there were a few interesting photo opts, such as the church sign that said: “Many wonder why we must endure menial tasks. But menial tasks IS living.” Wow… what a way to get folks to pack those pews! I also saw a sign at the grocery store for a meat platter that read “Sausage Party $5!”. That I was able to take a pic with my camera phone (though for some reason, I can’t email it to myself… thanks Cingular), but my attempt to do the same with a Don’t Tread on Me teddy bear that caught my eye while on base was not as successful due to the surly Vietnam Vet who was selling it and my fear that he would rip out my esophagus.
A camera would have also been handy at the basketball game. Actually, I did manage to go to Seattle one evening with my dad; his boss hooked us up with courtside tickets to a Seattle Super Sonics game. They sucked pretty bad and had their asses handed to them, but I didn’t care since the highlight of the night was the mascots. The Sonics have Squatch the Sasquatch, and it was his birthday that night, so mascots from all the other basketball teams across the country were on-hand to celebrate. Which meant plenty of WACKY(!!!) antics during breaks. You know, the usual: hugging kids, going ga-ga over the cheerleaders, and torturing bald and/or fat guys in the audience. NOTE: just because I liked watching people dressed up as dogs and gorillas hug and fight each other does not make me a furry. It was just that kind of trip.
What else… oh, thank God my dad didn’t yank the digital cable, at least not yet. Which meant I got to watch some Match Game on Game Show Network. I also caught PlayMania, the precursor to Play2Win, my recent television obsession. And it kinda sucks! At least Play2Win has stupid word puzzles that have some semblance of logic behind them; PlayMania has these completely arbitrary lists of names of cartoon characters or TV shows that people have to guess that just goes on and on and on. Otherwise, there was seriously nothing to watch. At least the Nicktoons Network was dependable as always, since I’m still a fan of Rocko’s Modern Life, plus Cartoon Network’s original programming, for the most part, is excellent. Though I did catch that metal band show on Adult Swim, and God does it suck. The thing that kills me is that it has a certain sensibility that I find pretty compelling (one that only appeals to folks my age and that “grew up” on Liquid Television, or so I’ve come to believe), and I wanted to like it, but its just… not funny. Speaking off, also got my Comedy Central fix of Daily Show and the Colbert Report, and even caught a bit of the premiere of the new Sarah Silverman show (truth be told, she could just sit there for 30 minutes and just make fart jokes the whole time and I’d be happy.) But unfortunately, all the network seemed to play was Scrubs and… I know I’m gonna offend pretty much everyone reading this…. I really hate that show. And yes, I know that the whole world loves it to death, including virtually every single friend of mine, but I just flat out despise the program. I hate Zack Braff, I hate the extremely awkward comedic hijinks mashed with the forced sappiness, simply put, I just hate Scrubs period! There I said it. But seriously, if you like it, that’s totally cool. Besides, I’ve been told on more than a few occasions that my tastes in comedy is pretty questionable (though I’m still proud of the fact that I’ve hated Family Guy since day fucking one).
I guess it also bears mentioning that its pretty sad that of all the new outlets covering the Aqua Teen Hunger Force/terrorism scare, it was G4 (yes, the crap-tastic video game channel) that had hands down the most level-headed coverage on the entire stupid situation. Since everyone has pretty much said their two cents on this matter and then some by now, all I’ll just say is that, as someone who not only generally despises guerrilla marketing but isn’t not even that big a fan of the show, I still hope that movie makes a billion dollars.
The entire trip wasn’t that bad I guess: I got to catch up with a few friends and reminisce about the good ol’ days. Both my old high school friends Suzanne and Rob Rendon were quite excited to hear about my Unlucky project. It was just nice to talk to someone who was on-hand virtually ever single step of the odyssey that was my war with Crutch (I was reminded how much Crutch passionately hated the nickname I gave him). Plus he also made me remember how the ‘tard fucker eventually dated this one dude, and the power couple came to be known as Chunk & Sloth. Also, I got a shitload of games (thanks God for the low prices and no taxes on military bases), as well as a PSP! Sorry ShaperMC….
Okay, so I’m not exactly proud of finally getting something that I’ve bashed for almost forever, but, as a Mizuguchi fan, I simply had to have one. Besides, Dave Mauro’s promised to help pimp it out for me. And at least I got lucky; aside from the screen being pristine and free from dead pixels, the firmware is a nice and low 2.7 something!
But by the end, I was very happy to head back to NYC. Especially since the diet of nothing but fast food was starting to take its toll on me (mostly by making me “puffy looking” according to MK). Which was why I wasn’t feeling so hot by the time I was back, but MK managed to convince me to come out with her to go roller-skating with Jenny this past Saturday night. And I’m glad I did! Despite the fact that not only had I never attempted it before, and how I not only don’t know how to swim but I don’t know how to ride a bike, which means I have zero balance and body coordination skills, I actually didn’t do that bad. The place was deep into Brooklyn, and despite having to get patted down when entering, it wasn’t nearly as ghetto as I thought it would be. Granted, there were a lot of thuggish types there that night, but when they’re on roller-skates, they are a lot less intimidating.
As for Sunday, I treated MK to some pre-Valentine’s Day goodness and watched her play Rule of Rose to the point where she almost wanted to throw the controller through the TV set. Can’t blame her; at a certain part she had to do something to lower a pair of scissors to use in the game, and when investigating a scene to allow her to perform the aforementioned action, there was another pair of scissors just lying there, but since its not “part of the game”, she couldn’t just pick them up! Fucking retarded. But hey, I knew when picking it up that it has issues, but it was dirt cheap on base, plus I figured any video game that’s condemned by the Vatican is worth checking out.
And speaking of video game, yesterday I went back to work at Black Hammer and met my new assistant! Because the projects I’m working on are all hush-hush, I really can’t go into any real detail as to what I’m working on, but I will mention that my coworkers were playing a Dora the Explorer virtual board game and one of the sound effects was a direct rip off the ring chime from Sonic the Hedgehog and it got me very upset though no one could understand why.
So… since getting back, I’ve barely had any time to get myself caught up with emails and various bits of important business, and that means I’m totally ignorant with the world of games as a whole right now. Though Joe Salina did text message me to let me know that Senko No Ronde is rumored to be getting a domestic release via Ubi Soft, and if true, that would be pretty sweet (here’s hoping Project Slypheed and “Radiant Silvergun 3″ also comes this way). I also heard from Mauro that he got his hands on that guitar simulator for the DS and is set to pass along an MP3 of something that he created. Plus, I did manage to set aside some time to scour SelectButton and found this: a pretty insane analysis of the Super Mario Bros game canon:
Either Super Mario Bros. 3 or Super Mario World is the final game in the Mario timeline. Each other game in the Mario series portrays Bowser as a far weaker opponent in terms of resources and ability. Most games have him just kidnapping a princess and having inept minions. However, 3 and World have the final battle taking place in a Hell-like alternate dimension, and he seems more than just a thug, but a demonic sorcerer. Both games feature his seven children, who either seem to have their own magic powers, or have magical wands to give them magical powers. Mario Bros. 3 and World also show Koopa’s empire to contain very unique technology, thus speaking of a vast industrial base, rather than merely Goombas and Koopa Troopas. SMB3′s Bowser, in particular, has an army that would have made Hitler jealous–tanks, ships that could float on mud or lava, and a fleet of powerful airships–not to mention demonic giant hands that are visible from space and an army of autonomous suicide bombers.
Then there’s this: a bizarre comic that combines the Power Puff Girls and R-Type. Enjoy!
