11/03/2014

Al Bundy’s Face, On A Pumpkin

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Hey, it’s Monday! How was everyone’s weekend? Also, it’s November! How was everyone’s October? Glad you asked…

- Kicked things off with a visit to Waka Waka, NYC’s brand new co-working space, one dedicated solely to indie game makers. My pal Andrew, who’s a member, suggested I check it out, as a potential host for one of the many things I have in the planning stages at the moment. As previously noted, it’s very much reminiscent of my home north of the border, Bento Miso. Which is no accident; according to Vincent LaCava, the Grand Poobah of Waka Waka, it’s largely modeled after Bento. Anyhow, I really dig the space, and just cuz of Waka’s mascot, Dr. Fergus, who’s one chill dawg (and I love chill dawgs)…

Now, a key reason why I’m so found of Waka Waka is the neighborhood, which is smack in the middle of the Lower East Side, where one can experience the few remaining vestiges of old New York. It’s also not too far from where the HQ for the game studio I co-founded with Jason after my stint at Ubisoft, was located.

Whereas PixelJump is now ancient history, along with numerous other LES institutions (alas, the entire neighborhood is slowly losing ground to trustafarians, like the rest of NYC), Economy Candy lives on thank God. NYC will have officially jumped the shark once I’m unable to nab Growing Pains trading cards for just $1…

- Encountered some street art in the process of being made, as I made the trek up north…

… To Toy Tokyo, a fave East Village haunt of mine. Was there to talk business as well, with one of its proprietors, who happens to be the guy who made this…

And as I made my way back home, was reminded of a sad truth. Which is how the streets of New York City is paved with headless gold baby dolls, otherwise known as pathos…

- That following weekend I was back at Waka Waka, for their first Killer Queen tournament, which is where the aforementioned New York Times pic hails from…

Wasn’t there to participate, since money was on the line, and I didn’t feel like dragging some team down with my less than refined skills. Instead, I came only to observe, plus hang with pals that I knew would be there…

Though, if one wasn’t busy playing Killer Queen, said person was more than likely too engrossed with 3DS Smash Bros to socialize (I refuse to get the game since I’d rather not destroy my handheld, thank you very much)…

Afterwards Nik Mikros, co-creator of the game, asked if I wanted to handle commentating duties for the next tournament, which they plan to stream on Twitch. Perhaps? Anyhow, here he is alongside Josh DeBonis, the other man responsible for Killer Queen, counting the winning team’s bounty (which was the amount that had been fed to the machine that night)…

Was going to go home once the games had come to a close, but Andrew managed to convince me to grab a couple of drinks with him. And here’s what a typical LES bar’s bathroom looks like…

- Christmas came early this year, with the release of Vib Ribbon for the PS3 & Vita! Or so I thought, until I discovered that the slight input leg (and I was under the impression that PSone emulation was perfect on those machines… wrong). Oh well, at least I still have my original copies!

And I certainly behaved like it was Christmas, as evidenced by all the presents I gave myself to throughout the month. Like the Get A Life collection, a purchase inspired by yet another date from hell that Tinder made happen (it’s a long story and the one I shared already online is more than enough), the 3rd season of the Upright Citizens Brigade (yet another purchase connected to the aforementioned kooky internut chica), my very first Cinema Insomnia DVD (to show my love and support for one of the best reasons to own a Roku), and a sealed copy of the Japanese version of Project Justice (was surprisingly cheap, especially when compared to the insanely expensive US release)…

- So long story short, for the past few months I’ve made a number of lifestyle changes. And thanks to both diet and exercise, I’m in best shape I’ve been in years! Though a key to maintaining a healthy eating habits for any serious length of time is to treat yourself every once in a while. And I absolutely had to check out Krispy Kreme’s Ghostbusters donuts. Which were hella gross, btw…

In addition to celebrating the movie’s 30th anniversary, the donuts were also intended to help usher in Halloween. Though in Washington Heights, we have the Hookah Man’s appearance to take care of that…

Meanwhile, in Hell’s Kitchen, and adorning my girlfriend’s building…

… While I believe it’s best to avoid diving too deep into my romantic entanglements, at least around these parts (if you really want to hear about my love life, it’s going to have to be in person and you’re buying the first round, basically), I guess it couldn’t hurt to state that I have indeed found a new gal pal? And get this; we found each other on Tinder! So some good came from it after all.

- Yet another late night pic, of a completely nondescript street, with a completely nondescript Mexican food cart. One that serves the best Goddamn burritos ever…

Elsewhere in my neighborhood I stumbled across this notice for a missing cat. I hope the owner and kitty were eventually reunited!

- In addition to NYCC… which I will dive into next time, swear to God… October is also the time in which Lamar makes his yearly East Coast visit (actually, he normally swings by November, though he also came in October last month as well)! Here we are at another one of my fave East Village haunt, Spanky & Darla’s…

Also took him to the pinball laundromat in Brooklyn…

… Which was a few doors down from the bar that we were meeting Kris and friends at. Here she is pondering the delicacy that is the pickleback shot (and which Lamar is taking a picture of himself)…

It’s always nice when friends who visit and stay over leave a piece of themselves after going back home…

- The following weekend was the long awaited trip to the Avengers S.T.A.T.I.O.N. at the Discovery Times Square with Steve Flack and his crew. Which turned out to be super lame; was expecting it to be a chance to take loads of snapshots of assorted Marvel movie props, yet photography taking was strictly prohibited. But I managed to sneak a few here and there nonetheless…

Though in the end, there wasn’t even a whole lot to take pictures of in the first place; just a meager assemblage of costumes, all anchoring a bunch of boring as hell interactive stations, half of which didn’t even work properly. The no picture taking rule was meant to motivate folks to buy into the designated take home items, but even the gift shop was a total sh*t shop. So not worth $30 price of entry.

Thankfully Steve had a coupon, and the $25 I ended up paying was somewhat justified by these pics of Iron Man’s armor that came out really nice…

EDIT: Steve sez: “Wow. If it wasn’t for the reflection of the exit sign, I would say this was a legit promo photo.”

Whereas our pal Jeremy states: “I am fucking pissed. I took a pic of the damn floor, and almost got kicked out. Meanwhile, Matt is taking multiple gorgeous shots of the cool shit.”

Steve: “Hail Hydra.”

Sorry Jeremy. Also, hail Hydra…

Steve admiring Tony Stark’s tech…

Afterwards we had lunch at an Italian restaurant in Times Square. Was kinda like Olive Garden, as in it’s also a chain, except there’s only one other location (at some mall in San Diego), and its take on the whole “here you’re a member of the family!” is adorning the place with wine bottles, pictures of random Italian celebs, and Christmas lights (which is pretty much exactly how Steve’s grandmother has her basement, so I guess points for accuracy). The highlight was most definitely not the chicken parmigiana (which was better than what they serve at that other place I mentioned, which ain’t saying much I know) but this photo of a guy who appears to be having a massive heart attack while eating a massive meatball…

Oh, and there there this pic of a kitten that’s kinda cute until you really think about it…

- Time for the home stretch, which in the case of October is also my most favorite part of the year! Started watching horror movies at the first of the month (once more, the Roku has been a godsend on that front), though the celebration went into high gear with the HallowMEME party, which took place in Brooklyn of course. In case the name alone wasn’t clue enough, the theme of the shindig was to come dressed as something that elicits either ”Internet lol!” or ”Internet lulz”. How would you classify a dude dressed up as the Fappening?

And here we have a girl on Tinder…

Instead of dressing up, this one guy simply carried around a tray of Ice Cubes. Get it? GET IT?!?!

Later in the evening was the costume contest. Highlights on stage included Renée Zellweger: before & after (who won first place), dancing pumpkin, and Pharrell’s hat…

Though I would have given the top prize to the girl dressed as subway pole on the L train, covered with ebola…

Lastly we have my pal Mal, wearing a printout of something a GamerGate-r put together on 4chan that exposes her role in the gaming feminazi agenda…

- Now onto Halloween proper; was planning on being a Vulcan baseball player this year, a tribute to the greatest episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine of all time (and perhaps the greatest episode of Trek period). But I just didn’t get my sh*t together in time; I found a place that could produce a lavender baseball uniform, but it’s a special order that needed to be submitted by late August at the very least (and I still haven’t figured out what to do for my name, let alone what my name even looks like via the Vulcan alphabet). So instead I decided to recycle an old costume idea, which is something I’m strongly against, but since it’s been nine years since I was last Clark Kent

As has been the case since I can’t remember when, spent October 31st yet again with the proprietors of Castle Wax Eye each year Joe dresses up as… himself, or his inner self as he likes to say. Whereas June is always something completely different, and this time she was the depression robe from that Abilify ad

Speaking of depressing, came across these birthday balloons stuck in some trees while walking Joe & June’s dog Lumi, aka your second dose of pathos for this blog post…

The celebration, again per tradition, was divided into two halves: first was the consumption of mass quantities of candy and alcohol while watching bad scary movies at Joe & June’s apartment in Harlem during the day, and second was bar hoping and soaking in the people in costume in the West Village during night. One definite stand out moment was my witty retort to a NYPD officer who barked at everyone to step aside while everyone was stuck dead in their tracks at West 4th Street Station; not the laughter I received from the crowd, but how I didn’t get the sh*t beat out of me and then thrown in jail. Anyhow, we have my Halloween homies, at bar #8 or 9…

… Which was the bar where we found Waldo(s)…

And by the night, we also encountered some smashed pumpkins…

- But the Halloween festivities didn’t end there! No siree (and hence why my October recap wasn’t posted on the first of November). Last night we all drove out to Long Island to check out a jack-o-lantern art festival. And alas, it kinda blew. I mean, it was neat seeing pumpkins made to look like skeletons…

And dinosaurs…

Plus the tribute to video games was kinda neat…

Along with Ed O’Neill…

But otherwise… You know, I’m not sure what I expected to see really. Maybe something that didn’t make me go ”Seriously, they charged us $20 each for THAT?” (again, full price was $30, but June ordered online and saved). Oh well.

- Anyhow, coming right up, my long overdue survey of the 2014 New York Comic Con, starting with all the cosplay! But before that, one last final bit of business: a recap of all my Attract Mode posts for the month of October…

* Mystery Mansion, Beyond Just Six Seconds
* Funky Kong’s Ride From The Airport Is ASMR-rific
* Yes, Someone Once Made A Game That Makes Fun Of Myst. And Yes, It Stars John Goodman.
* Attract Mode’s Games You Should Play This Halloween

Previous post:

Next post: