November 2005

11/10/2005

I AM Getting Old!!!

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

This entire week I’ve just wanted to punch the city right in the throat.

First off, while on the way to lunch the other day, I literally got hit by a car; usually when any car is turning into an intersection in Manhattan, it has to wait for pedestrians to pass by. It can be annoying for them, but hey, that’s just the way it is. Well myself and many others were crossing 23rd St and some crazy bitch simply couldn’t wait and just kept turning into 6th Ave. She wasn’t going super fast, but if someone was in her path, she kept on going, with folks literally jumping out of the way. So I figured that I would just stand right in front and force her to stop, but when I realized that she wasn’t going to, I jumped back and got lightly tapped in the knee; thankfully it wasn’t my right knee which had been broken when I got hit by a cab years ago. Again, she wasn’t going fast enough (at that point) to do major harm, but still… I’m also glad that my foot didn’t get run over. As she passed by, I cussed her out (and I wasn’t the only one, mind you) but she clearly didn’t give a shit. I really wish I had an empty Snapple bottle to hurl at her face. That and a pen to write down her license number.

And I don’t know why this always seems to happen with me, but I always end up standing next to some girl who simply can’t handle the moving subway, and who’ll fling around like some out of control pinball (and me as a bumper), just like earlier this afternoon. And of course, it was some “hot” ditzy chick who couldn’t understand me not bending over to accommodate her like she expects all guys to do so (and unfortunately, many do) and instead my “learn how to land lady” look which I shot back.

Then there was the annoying college students making out in the middling of Wendy’s. Nuff said.
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- So I’m back to playing Shadow of the Colossus. I spent about a solid 30 minutes on the third colossi the other night. And I’m embarrassed to admit this, I didn’t know what to do so I had to go online for a clue. And the solution, of course, made me go “why the fuck didn’t I think of that!”

I hate admitting this in public, but I’m just really bad at video games. Or, I used to be good but now I just plain suck at them. I just don’t have the level of focus I once did. I know that I certainly don’t have the dexterity and coordination that I once had. Maybe it’s because (wait for it) I’m too old? Or all that time spent in-front of a computer has rotten my brain…

Also played Gunstar Super Heroes for a bit, which has finally killed any interest in getting a Game Boy Micro once and for all. With so much shit going, it was damn near impossible to tell what’s what on a stock GBA screen. Next time, I better do so via the GameCube and the Game Boy Player. But using the Cube’s controller for GB games sucks… better finally get a Hori pad I guess.

And as for Soul Calibur 3, I’ve more or less given on the single player mission. Like I said, I suck at the game. So its now up to MK to do the dirty work of unlocking characters and the such for me (the very first time she played it, she beat the game as Taki). Did I mention how awesome the random character generator is? There’s various fighting styles, but the most awesomest by far has to be “dancer” in which you fight with two huge tambourines!

- Sega’s in town, so earlier today I got another chance to give Sonic Riders a spin. I was hoping for a different build than the one I previously tried out at DigitalLife, but at least I was able to actually focus on it this time around (without being distracted by some whiney 14 year old who’s complaining about how he’s going to loose the “build a PC in the quickest time” competition due to a mole… that and finally knowing what the controls are). So therefore, I was able to properly play the thing, and as mentioned before, it’s not half bad (though bear in mind that I was a fan of Sonic R).

Here’s an interesting factoid: the folks within Sonic Team behind the game were the ones who were absorbed in the Sonic Team/UGA merger. And I can tell you right now that it’s much better than that god-awful PS2 Astro Boy game. Apparently, Sonic Team asked those folks what they wanted to do next, and it was a racing title (no surprise since a few I believe worked on the original Sega Rally).

- Meanwhile, in the headlines, Keita Takahashi, the man behind Katamari Damacy, has stated that he’s not long for video games, and wants to eventually design playgrounds. It’s sad to hear, but hardly surprising; I can totally understand his frustration with the current state of the industry. And reading about this comments about a sequel really does add credence to the apparent fact that a third Katamari game truly is not necessary. Personally, I’d love to see Densen finally get made.

It would really be a shame to see him go, but I’d actually love to see what he does with children’s playgrounds. Simply because anyone who’s familiar with playground these days might be aware of how fucking lame they’ve become. They’re all now built around the principle that children are like Faberge eggs and need to be protected as such. I think the old playground near my house had the swings removed due to parents being concerned that their kids might accidently hurt themselves (yet another fine example of how big pussies parents have become).

- One game that I’ve been looking our for ever since hearing about the nifty concept is The Movies, in which, along with managing a movie studio via Tycoon interface, you get to actually make movies with virtual actors. Well here’s the first review I’ve read, for the PC version. I’m not sure how it works, but apparently you can direct that a fight scene between a gymnast and a guy in a chicken suit on a subway car. Sweet…

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11/08/2005

Communism: The Video Game

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

- I was up past 2 in the morning playing We Love Katamari last night. Some of the levels are just pure genius, such as the one where you go around picking up rain clouds to brighten up a school girl’s field trip (though that might be due to me being addicted to Cloud Game at the moment).

Though I must say, whereas the first game has an absolutely brilliant soundtrack where every song simply fit like a glove and was infinitely listen-able, the sequel isn’t as lucky. While some tracks are awesome, others aren’t as so. Sorry, but the Katamari theme as done my animals is cute the first time, but after about five minutes I wanted to bash my head into the wall.

Anyway, here’s the Japanese cover to upcoming My My Katamari:

- John Ricciardi pointed this out at Gaming Age earlier this morning… members of Club Nintendo that have platinum status will receive a TV remote shaped like the Revolution controller:

As explained before, folks who buy Nintendo games in Japan get points for registering them. And once again, why the hell do only Japanese gamers receive cool shit? Hey, I’m a loyal Nintendo fan, I’ve bought tons of games and submitted tons of registration codes! Throw us a fucking bone Nintendo of America, Jesus…

- BTW, word on the GAF is that Sony plans on both dropping region coding in their games (the reason stated? since games is a global market, then what’s the point?) and the inability to play used games on the PS3. I would love to see the first, for perhaps obvious reasons. The second thing though would be a complete disaster, and I’m certain that Sony would never be that stupid.

- Meanwhile at Insert Credit, Simon passed along some good stuff on the front page just the other day: Canadian chiptune musician 6955 has created the following for his upcoming European tour:

You can read (and hear) more in his news post. But seriously, isn’t it beautiful?

- 1UP recently ran an interesting comparison between the Dreamcast and the Xbox 360. My favorite has to be #22. I fondly remembering being all gay over the Dreamcast Zip Drive. I had just gotten my first Mac the same winter I got my DC, and Zip disks was the thing to have carry files and the such, so the idea to somehow unify both my iMac and my Dreamcast just seemed awesome.

- So everyone’s favorite lawyer, Jack Thompson, has stepped away from the Grand Theft Auto case. Gee, I guess equating the game to “Pearl Harbor 2″ wasn’t such a smart move after-all, eh?

- Jason passed this along yesterday: afraid of online games from the west corrupting the minds of its youth, China is going to create their own MMORPG, one that reinforces the positive messages behind Communism.

- And yesterday, Andre, who a few folks might recall as being part of the award winning SVA team during the RetroRedux 24 Hour game jam, showed me his latest project. Its a homebrew DS app called Ticklegirl:

You can read more about it here.

4 comments

11/07/2005

I Love My Neighborhood, And My Neighborhood Loves Me

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

I forgot to mention one really annoying thing from this weekend: on Saturday morning, MK got a ticket right in front of my house. It seems that she was parked too close to a fire hydrant (actually she wasn’t). Thing is, she wouldn’t have even parked near the thing if it wasn’t for the fact that there was simply no where else to park near-by due to the recent influx of assholes that fill up the streets every Friday and Saturday night. And there would still be plenty of open spots, but none of those assholes know how to park correctly; they just leave their cars wherever without any consideration for spacing for others.

When I first moved into my neighborhood, things were nice and quiet (its a low-key Mexican neighborhood). Then early in the summer a bar opened up right on the corner (at 5th Ave and 23rd St… remember, I’m in Brooklyn) and its been nothing but one massive headache. Its called the Living Room Lounge and its aim is to slowly turn my block into some shitty ass hipster hang-out, and unfortunately its working.

First off, I think its extremely tasteless that the brain-trusts behind the bar decided to open a bar right next to a Mexican alcoholics anonymous. Plus my one lone encounter with an employee of the place certainly hasn’t helped my attitude:

It was after work and I was on my way home. Aside from the already long hard day, I stayed late to meet with a student, plus I wasn’t feeling good, so I wanted was to do was crawl into bed. As I passed by the bar, one of the waitresses was standing outside and telling all passer-bys: “Free pizza!” Not only was I just not interested, but since I felt like shit, I didn’t say anything, but instead simply nodded, to convey an appreciative “not tonight, but thanks for the offer” gesture. But about ten feet passed her, I heard myself being called “Asshole”. What the fuck? What a cunt! If I wasn’t feeling so shitty, I would have turned around to marched back and find out what the attitude was about.

Anyway, it seems that everyone who goes there, at least going by the assholes who hang out front and crowd up the street corner (mostly to smoke of course) are all the “too cool for school” variety of douchebags. I can’t attest for how it is inside since the place always has the curtains drawn; they probably know that if the outside world knew how fucking obnoxious their shenanigans were, the place would be burnt down in an instant. But a few times when passing by, I have managed to snake a peek inside and catch some of their “special” events, including a live painting performance (where everyone sits around and watches someone paint… and yes, it is about as gay as it sounds) and a burlesque show, which I’m guessing is their lame attempt at cashing in on the whole Suicide Girls craze, but to an even more obnoxious degree. And of course, I’m not the only one annoyed: the locals are super pissed since they smell gentrification stinking up their neighborhood, which in the end makes everything and everyone volatile.

So yeah, these are the fuck-wads that are filling up my block with cars and ruining my block. I’d burn the place down myself, but I’d be afraid that the fire would spread and take my house as well.

BTW, as I’ve mentioned before, I live in Park Slope, and for those who don’t know, its a rather hip part of Brooklyn. But have I told you how some folks I know are actually annoyed by this? First off, they get all indignant. Then they ask for my exact address, and then claim that I don’t actually live in Park Slope but Sunset Park (which is the area south… its known primarily as a poor neighborhood). They honestly act as if me living in their precious neighborhood is somehow ruining things, like I’m depreciating the property value. I’ve mentioned this to my roommate Stephy and she too has encountered the hostile hipster response many times. I guess we’re not cool or affluent enough for the folks around here.

Anyway, she tells me that not only does our zip code fall into Park Slope boundaries, but our garbage and recycling schedule does as well. And it probably safe to say that a few of the folks who make the biggest fuss about this are themselves not really in Park Slope.

Why I am bringing this all up? Because I had another ridiculous argument this earlier today. And do I care? Not really, but since others seem to be genuinely upset by such a fucking trivial matter, I will take any opportunity I can to remind these folks that…

I FUCKING LIVE IN PARK SLOPE, GOT THAT? AND I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! DEAL WITH IT ASSHOLES!!!

In other news, a studio around where I work was throwing out some stuff and since I noticed something cool looking, I figured it was worth taking…

The thing is, I really don’t know what to do with it? I’m open to suggestions…

3 comments