The past couple of days have been pretty tough ones for me. Most friends by now know what I’m referring to, specifically the bombshell news I received late Thursday afternoon, so I guess there’s no reason to revisit it (plus I still don’t want to go in specifics around here, out in the open like).
But before going any further, I just want to thank everyone for their kind words and well wishes. Its always gratifying to know that, when things are really bad, one can always count on friends for support. I sincerely appreciate it.
Again, not to go into specifics, but my situation is still rather bleak for the time being, though I am working towards a solution that will hopefully allow me to get on with my life with at least some sense of normalcy (the thing is, arrangements are being made, and if things pans out, everything will be fine, but there’s just so many little things that could lead it all to just fall apart, and if that happens, I’m seriously screwed). I guess the worst part is how much of a huge mental blow it’s all been, and I will admit openly that it?s really sidetracked my productivity and work-flow, which was already strained to begin with. And the timing of all this couldn’t be any worse (well then again, what time is ever good for bad news?), hence why for example I must “regroup” so to speak. I was supposed to visit Sony to check out the PS3 today for example, but at this point, more pressing matters must be taken care of first (I’m sure there’s still twenty page NeoGAF thread waiting for me with all the 411 anyway).
Speaking of, I was the most depressed Thursday evening, during which a bunch of folks asked what my Snakes on a Plane plans were (which, not to be all mister internet cool, but is something I’ve talkin’ about for years now, way before it became some pop-culture phenom, ya bunch of jumping on the band-wagon noobs). I had to decline, simply because stuff like movies and video games and surfing the internet just seemed so… distant, of so little consequence. I just felt like crawling into a hole and never coming out. But since then I’ve been feeling a bit better, and I’ve come to realize that totally shutting myself off from the outside world is maybe not the best idea. I even took up on Dave Mauro’s offer and stopped by his place this past weekend for some beer and to play Melty Blood: Act Cadenza. Its a pretty neat game btw, all the characters are either young school girls or maids, plus there’s one dude which has been affectionately dubbed “Wolf Cock”. I’ve even found myself surfing the web for game related news a tiny bit here and there, even though I really can’t afford to so right now (but doing what I would normally be doing, no matter how unproductive it may be, can be sort of a good thing).
In the end, I’m trying to keep everything in perspective. I really can’t feel too sorry for myself, not when far more horrific and crazy-ass shit is happening to all my friends. I can’t speak for everyone, but it just seems that everyone in my immediate circles are having the absolute roughest time this summer. Case in point, my roommate is missing. She went down to South America a few weeks back to do some traveling, and right as she was about to head towards the Amazon or something, her region got hit with massive (and I believe sudden) volcanic activity. No one’s heard from her since. Mind you, I’m only mentioning this because it sounds so out there, plus I have a feeling she’s okay (if Americans really do go seriously missing, doesn’t the news here go apeshit over such things?). As for my other friends’ struggles… they’re really not that “entertaining”, hence why I’ll stop right here. So I guess I don’t have it that bad, though I wish I could say “at least I have my health!” but all the stress is making my bloody ulcer even bloodier.
Anyway, with all that in mind, I might have to take some time off from updating this site, at least for a short bit. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m actually quite proud of the fact that what started out as a stupid little “writing exercise” and a means to just pass along stuff to my circle of friends has become something that a bunch of people enjoy. It’s been a great feeling. But there’s a price to pay unfortunately, and I’m afraid I might not be able to make this month’s hosting bill (yeah, I have that kind of problem). So if you see this site disappear, just check back ever once in a while.
Also, if my site gets killed, there’s a good chance my email may go with it, so if you send me something and it gets bounced back, try my other alternate email address (my main back-up, the PixelJump one, as you might recall is in limbo). It’s FortNinety at Gmail dot com.
Guess that’s it for now. Over and out.
