So the Transformers convention…. dear God, what a fucking nightmare. It was so bad that I seriously became depressed. Though here’s the thing; I always get depressed at conventions, at least the kind where Star Trek and Star Wars nerd converge. Its just the sight of folks who are total outcasts of society (NERDS!!!) that are finally at a place that they can call “home” that I find a bit sad, seeing them hold some cheesy and overpriced toy in their hands, with love in their eyes, with the look of “this is what’s all about” gleefully across their faces. Hence why I found the Transformers convention to be such a particularity wretched experience, because it made me ask myself, “is this what I’m all about?”
But let’s start from the beginning, and address my biggest complaint, which connects with my biggest mistake: I guess I was wrong about the popularity of the Transformers. I thought in this age of 80′s nostalgia, they were one of the darling poster children for males my age. Plus considering all the recent toys, comics, and especially with all the TF branded clothing coming from places like Hot Topic, I figured their popularity to be white hot, or approaching that point, hence why there’s a big budget, live-action summer spectacular being produced by Steven fucking Spielberg on the way. Well you certainly wouldn’t have known it by strolling down the isles of the convention since it totally felt like an indy wrestling show. When you charge a certain price, in this case $20, and you choose to hold a show in Manhattan, you expect certain things, and this show failed to deliver even on the most basic levels.
First of, the price of admission was $20 for the whole two-day affair. Saturday’s ticket cost $12, but if you only wanted to go on Friday, you still has to pay the two day price. Seriously, what is the fucking logic behind that? But I paid the price, hopeful that it would be justified with plenty of things to see and hear. But then I was shocked to discover that there was one rather meager sized dealers room and one very tiny side room for panels. That was it. When I went to get a program to find out what special programs they had in store (the program btw way looked to be about 4 pages long and printed on some guy’s inkjet at home), I was told that it would cost me $5. WTF. And with no signs anywhere to state what was going on and when, I had to play it by ear.
So I figured that I’d just spend my time strolling around in the dealers room till something happened, but it was beyond laughable, and here’s why (and my biggest beef with the whole show): those who pre-registered got to enter the con a whole three hours before the general audience. That meant by the time I got there, all the really cool stuff was long gone. I didn’t have any plans to buy a ton of stuff, but half the reason for going to any con is just to see what’s out there, to get a close up look. But no, as I walked around, I saw everyone else there with garbage bags filled to brim with various boxes of Japanese only toys, statues, and other limited edition stuff. What was left on the tables? Zero.
Did they have the Soundwave re-relase from Japan, or the Soundwave statue from Palisades, or a copy of the movie with MST3K crew from a BotCon event a few years back, or the CD featuring music that wasn’t on the official movie soundtrack that’s also from BotCon, or even the extenders for the 20th Anniversary Edition Optimus Prime to make his exhaust pipes as long as the Japanese originals? Of course not. So what did they have exactly? Pretty much the same exact shit that you find at garage sales, seriously; mostly old toys with the stickers half peeled. There were a few of the Japanese re-releases still in boxes, but nothing that anyone wants, plus other types of toys like Star Wars and sci-fi themed shirts, basically the same exact crap that you can find at any other convention! The saddest part was that I’d say 30% of the tables weren’t even being used! It took me literally 15 minutes, no joke, to see everything. But I kept walking around hoping that one of the advertised events would take place, like the costume contest, but nothing. There was absolutely nothing to see nor do.
Though I did catch one thing, and it made the whole ordeal almost worthwhile; a British super-fan gave an extremely informative panel on the movie. He had almost everything you can think of relating to the film, such as the original storyboarded script, original cels, and the like, and used them to go over all various changes, mistakes, plus various other curiosities relating to the movie that I (as well as other fans) have had for years. Among the many highlights:
- The original film was much more gruesome. One scene that was never animated had both Ratchet and Ironhide (two Autobots that looked identical except for a difference in color) cut in half, with Megatron then forming a single body made with one half from each of the two, which he then further tortured. That got a nice gasp from the audience.
- Another scene that was animated but later cut had Ultra Magnus being drawn and quartered by the Sweeps. If you watch the scene where he gets destroyed on the junk planet, just imagine the original method of death and you’ll notice that it matches the sound affects much more closely than what you actually see (which is him getting simply blown up). Plus the way the Matrix lands in Galvatron’s hand is pretty awkward (I didn’t realize this till the guy pointed this out).
- So what’s the deal with the swearing? It was “pretty cool” at the time, but still feels somewhat awkward. Well it was done to ensure a PG-13 rating, which meant that theaters would play the film later in the day, into the night, and therefore be more profitable.
- What’s the proper name for the Autobot City on earth? Fortress Maximus, which is where the toy that came much later got its name.
- In the storyboarded script, someone wrote for the Stan Bush “You’ve Got The Touch” sequence, “Think Eye of the Tiger”.
- Why is one Dinobot missing from most of the film? Apparently, his model sheet went missing in the very beginning of the production cycle, so he was just written out of the movie. Pretty lame, huh?
- Another missing scene, this one very brief, had Optimus killing Dirge right before his fight with Megatron. Again, notice how there’s a close-up of Optimus standing there and saying a line, then there’s a cut to Megatron, then a cut back to Optimus, but this time he’s seen getting up (he had just rammed Thrust’s head into the ground).
- But a much longer scene that never happened takes place right before all that, showing how Devastator was disassembled. At one point Devastator is ambushed by Ultra Magnus who has a variety of car Autobots in his rear trailer, the ones that have missiles in their arsenals. So they pop out and blast Devastator, then run away. Two get shot in the back and killed (Hoist and Bluestreak I believe) by the now individual Constructacons. Then we see Megatron watching all this from afar, and is then interrupted by Optimus, which leads to their face off.
- The guy pointed out various mistakes in the movie, such as with the color of some characters (like how Ruble had Frenzy’s color scheme which resulted in two Frenzies on-screen at once), Transformers appearing in places where they shouldn’t together (like Hot Rod and Arcee together in a ship when they actually spend most of the movie in separate ships) or in the middle of a huge group battle scene, and general screw ups, like Astrotrain being upside down at one point. He even showed footage from a preview trailer that was aired only in Japan that had further “mistakes” (such as Ultra Magnus with his “original” color scheme). Much of the movie’s inconsistencies stem from footage being used that was originally test animation. That’s why Unicron sometimes has a goatee and sometimes he doesn’t.
- The guy even mentioned a bit of cut dialogue, which was a rather funny joke from Rumble during the Galvatron crashing Starscream’s coronation scene.
- Once and for all, is the film widescreen? No, its fullscreen. The letterboxed laserdisc edition that came from Japan actually has information cut off at the top and bottom.
- The best part of the whole presentation was a re-creation of entire scenes from the film using they storyboards, all matching perfectly to the movie’s audio. The guy was not shy in admitting that it took weeks from him to scan in the pages and get the timing right, and it really showed.
- And the saddest part was hearing that the folks behind the new DVD coming out are not interested in the wealth of info the guy has, despite his willingness to offer everything that he has. Plus he says the new print is actually muddy, and perhaps worse than what we have right now from Rhino. Great.
I feel as if I need to point out how obnoxious the audience was. You’d think that a group of techno-savy nerds would have figured out by now that if you’re cell phone rings, there’s a handy button to shut off the ringer, and the caller will go straight to voicemail. The Q& A was also a sight to behold; I always like seeing member of the opposite sex at these very male oriented nerd assemblies, but one’s hopefulness immediately fades when you hear one of them talk. This event’s Q&A was going along just fine until one woman, would sounded like she just got over a stroke a few minutes prior, asked the most inane, rambling question, which I think had to do with Unicron cursing (he doesn’t). Then there’s that one guy who gets called upon once, and then for the rest of the session, he has to blurt out his own answer to the various questions. Best part here is that everything he said was total 100% bullshit, but he kept amending each comment with “but I read it on internet!”
Aside from the very enlightening movie panel, there’s was nothing else to do than just walk around the dealers room till I got sick and tired (and depressed) by it all. Though I did see Peter Cullen take the stage for his autograph session before leaving. Seemed like a totally nice guy (and sorta resembled Burt Reynolds, albeit just in the swarthy mustache department) and while I would have loved to say thanks for breathing life into on of the important figures while growing up, I didn’t feel like paying an addition $30 fucking dollars to do so. I left a little under two hours of arriving, feeling extremely disappointed and completely ripped off (I can’t believe I left early for such shit). I hope the assholes that organized the event are extremely proud of themselves.
… The weekend wasn’t a total loss however. On Saturday MK & I made out way to Rocketship, a brand spanking new comic shop near downtown Brooklyn. Aside from having a slew of super awesome books that one can’t get anywhere else outside of MoCCA and SPX, its own and operated by an old friend of Jason’s! I’ve known the guy for only a small bit, but he’s super cool and its great to see him the at the center of something so good. Go check it out!
