01/01/2007

The Year That Was…

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

The last weekend of 2006 was more or less like the rest of the year that immediately preceded it, at least for myself: jam-packed.

Friday evening began with Rob & Michele‘s birthday get-together. Then it was off to RocketShip for the Meathaus 8 party. Farel made damn sure that I would be there, and I was. It also allowed me yet another chance to re-affirm my crown as King of the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Stories to Jamie.

Saturday night I exchanged Christmas presents with Katie; I am now the proud owner of a Hello Kitty waffle maker. Later I went to a party that was filled with mixed martial artists, literate guidos, leathermen and a couple of other folks who dabble with the sex trade, as well as graduate students. It was a New Year’s Eve Eve celebration, and I got to see Mike play Wii Sports while crazy mad drunk, as well as hear him and his best friend go on about some guy thats ripping off Aztec mythology to create bullshit doomsday prophecies that’s part of some pseudo-religion the dude created specifically for the expressed purpose of getting lots of blowjobs (kinda like Scientology I’m assuming). BTW, the next supposed day of reckoning is December 12, 2012 (hey, that’s 12/12/12… whoa).

As for Sunday night, last night, New Year’s Eve, i.e. the last night of 2006, first went to a party thrown by Jeremiah, which meant a chance for MK and Katie to rub shoulders with chiptunes musicians and gamer dork friends of mine, while I myself got to partake in some fine Belgian brew (Duvel, a favorite of both Jeremiah and Josh), as well as some super excellent whiskey, though I was already buzzed by the time I walked in the front door, courtesy of a flask of some el cheap-o whiskey that I acquired from a stripper that I recently did business with. Next was Joe‘s annual get-together, which was a pretty low key affair compared to shindigs past. Which meant no Japanese punk rockers or dock workers sadly, plus I missed Joe’s deviled eggs, but I had more than my fair share of his cupcakes… actually a bit too much, since the mix of that plus Belgian beer, premium whiskey, shitty whiskey, wine, and champaign did not sit that well with me, which is why I didn’t feel like sticking around too long, even for the making fun of Skinemax portion of the party.

Though the fresh air from the car ride home sure helped, hence why I had no problems yelling at people on the streets, much to the delight of MK, Katie, and Robin.

EDIT: Truth is, I had a LOT to drink that night… which was the plan after-all. One last night of gettin’ blotto before the new year; I guess my New Year’s Resolution/Commandment is to get into better shape, primarily for the big show in Japan. The last thing I need is to get all exhausted and pass out inside some huge inflatable costume and fall off stage in Japan, so cutting out the booze, or at least cutting down, is part of the plan. A few details are kinda hazy, but I’m beginning to remember a few thing, like chatting up with Pete about Twin Peaks at Jeremiah’s (I’m always happy to talk to fellow Twin Peaks fan)…. and MK totally sideswiping a cab.

So 2006 (my tenth year here in New York City btw) was pretty nuts. As well as pretty awesome. It was roller-coaster ride, almost non-stop, from beginning to end. Despite some really rocky patches here and there, a ton of truly incredible stuff went down, and for all of it, I’m very much grateful.

As for highlights, there are plenty…

- Got booed by an auditorium filled with angry gamer dorks, and loved every moment of it, at ICON.
- Also, the look on MK’s face when she realized that my rage against the furries had earned me groupies that same show.
- Snuck into the NYC Comic Con thanks to my kung fu connections.
- Got a book deal.
- Got to play Rez on a 60 foot tall wall.
- Shot some guns and became someone’s hero for pissing in a bottle beer in the corner of some smoky bar in Philly (and not spilling a drop), all in one weekend.
- Not only did I manage to get DS’s, but also two extra Dreamcasts.
- Discovered the dark past of my “t-shirt buddy” at the MoCCA Art Fest.
- Met, and also got to talk about hot dogs with Eugene Jarvis (the dude who created Defender and Robotron for those who don’t know).
- Found some primo dinosaur porn.
- Made an allergist’s jaw drop.
- Saw like three different movies dealing with pro-wrestling at the Asian Film Fest; didn’t have the energy to see Nacho Libre in the end.
- Received a cease and desist letter from a representative of Nintendo.
- Tooks tons and TONS of pics of cosplayers and animu freaks alongside Nullsleep at Otakon.
- Was pissed at the subways a LOT.
- Became a furry for a day for the Weekly Worlds News.
- Went on a quest for a nerdy stripper, and succeeded.
- From a moving vehicle, yelled at people in the street, both in Columbus and Syracuse, mostly to talk about pants and excellent chicken sandwiches (and I was also totally sober both times).
- Said goodbye PixelJump and cell phone gaming in general.
- Found out that I’m gonna be part of some punk rock show in Japan next year, dressed as an evil, mutant cereal box.
- Started writing for GameSetWatch and also further expanded my game writing elsewhere.
- Also pissed off a lot of people on the inter-webs as well.
- Won a Nerdlinger, grossed out Heidi MacDonald, and witnessed the birth of my very own fanclub at SPX.

… and there’s actually plenty more, but its stuff I’m either forgetting or simply isn’t suitable for public consumption. So once again, thanks, mostly to all the people in my life that made it all happen. You all know who you are, so kam-sam-ni-da!

  • mk

    Please make your new year’s resolution to stop using the phrase “hence why …” in your writing. You almost alwasy use it in a way that makes me cringe for the sake of grammar. If it’s not redundant, it’s certainly awkward. If you don’t, I’m going to get you Strunk & White for your birthday, or at least force you to read the books I have on grammar.

    Here are replacement phrases that other (normal) people use: “So…”, “this/that’s why,” “since,” “which is the reason,” “as a result,” or just plain “as.” Other bridges you might consider using if you structure things differently are: “because,” “therefore,” “consequently,” “ergo,” “thus.” And of course, there’s the coordinate conjunctions: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So. It makes a nice mnemonic device there. Bust out the thesaurus, make it fun. Actually, you could use a look through the dictionary too…

  • http://leopard-lady.livejournal.com Jill

    I hereby declare 2006….A SUCCESS!!

    May 2007 be made of awesome!

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Jill: :)

    Thanks!

    MK: :(

    Ummm….. also, thanks. I guess.

  • http://dhex.wordpress.com dhex

    December 21, 2012 actually.

    the actual “long count calendar” doesn’t flip until 4770 or so, iirc. 4772? something like that.

    [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Pinchbeck]daniel pinchbeck[/url] is the dickface in question.

  • J

    If it turns out that 2007 is not entirely made of awesome, at least we know that MK most certainly is.

  • http://pandahex.blogspot.com Katie

    Thank you for sending me CRUTCH MUST DIE!

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Katie’s referencing the latesst UNLUCKY script which I just sent to her. And those who are familiar with those three words know what the story is all about, and that its… epic.

    So you’re welcome! And if there’s one thing I’m really looking forward in 2007 is to see what Katie will come up with. Get ready!

  • Marc

    Congrats on an extremely productive year, Matt! I can’t decide what was the wildest happening, but meeting Jarvis is cool, and getting signed up for the Japan show sounds huge. Maybe you can be a Count Chocula box. Have an amazing ’07.

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Kinda close there Marc; I’m gonna get the chance to shoot ceral at the audience via bazookas, and it’ll be loaded with Frankenberries!

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