07/17/2006

The Missing

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

So Friday night I had drinks with dhex, a.k.a. Mike O’Connor, and Steve Totilo, a.k.a. the guy who writes about video games for MTV News, and it was loads of fun. Mike coined the quote of night when I embarrassingly admitted to being drunk after just three beers, and he responded with a very warm and jovial, “Dude its cool, you’re Asian. Three beers for you is like five thousand for a white guy!”

Many important things were discussed, much of it related to video games of course. Steve totally sold me on Sly Cooper 3 which he described as being one of the best games ever, so I guess I’ll have to track that one down (what he told me did sound pretty neat). Another highlight of the evening was when we were sitting in the KGB bar and we spotted a man and woman who looked to be either King of Fighters or Guilty Gear cosplayers.

And Saturday was the Siren Music Fest. And long story short, yeah, it pretty much did suck.

I got there first around 1-ish and while waiting for the rest of the crew to show up, walked around a bit and ran into, of all people, Kenny. We’ve been trying to drag to the show for years, but he’s never available; Kenny had to work later in the evening, no surprise, but came early to check out the first band, which was the only heavy metal act on the card. And his usual crowd of Japaner punkers was sadly absent. Not too long afterwards Robin showed up, then Joe along June and Jay. We had our traditional pre-show lunch at Nathans’s then decided to check out some music. As stated previously, the line-up of bands this time around looked abysmal (nothing but stupid looking hipster acts, all of whom either from Brooklyn or Montreal pretty much), but I’m willing to give anything a chance, so when June suggested we check out Man Man (they at least didn’t look like total pussies compared to most everyone else player), I figured why the hell not. And they were pretty decent! I actually ended up enjoying them, despite the fact that they looked like tools when they first hit the stage; everyone was all dressed in matching tennis playing attire (the Royal Tenenbaums look is SO is fucking pass? at this point). And that’s the thing; more than they sound, I hate how most hipster bands carry themselves; most try way too hard to be cool, either wacky cool or angst-ridden, emo cool. Anyway, their first song sounded almost death metal-ish, with some saxophone, and I was sorta sold on them from that point on. I’m pretty awful when it comes to describing bands, so all I can really say is that they sorta sound like some noise-punk/folk fusion ensemble. I really enjoyed how they all played very close to each other, so in that sense, they really reminded me of the band from the Muppet Show (sans a human equivalent to Janice). I also really dug the technical aspects of their sound; much of it sounded really polished and almost studio-produced, production wise.

Afterwards we tried checking out Celebration, but they sounded as bad as they looked, so all lost interest pretty quick. Then we tried tracking and down Kenny, but that didn’t work, though we did eventually meet up with Richie (from the Beer Drinking Fools), but then it began to rain. So we headed to the El Dorado and I got to play some Ms. Pac Man (as Jay said “I think they keep that machine around just for you.”), including another head-to-head game against Robin. I’m still pissed that the old classic skee ball machines have been completely overtaken by the plastic-y, purple pieces of shit they have now (and I ain’t paying fifty fucking cents for one game either), so instead I tried out Quackers, in which you try to roll a rubber ball down a ramp and try to get it into one of numerous holes, each with a different point value. The point is either to get a really low score or a high one. It sounds really boring, and I guess it is, but it was fairly compelling (in a “hey look, shiny things!” kind of way). Though it was a bit too underwhelming for Robin who decided to head out at that point. But soon it stopped raining, so we headed to the boardwalk. By then some of us were hungry, and I knew it was time get a corndog. I also noticed that pretty much every hipster was munching on one, and when I tried ordering mine, there were all sold out! WTF?!?!?

After we all witnessed some fire out in the ocean (never figured out what it was… did some luxury liner have an incident?), June and I both braved the bathrooms. Thank God I only had to take leak throughout my time there because the bathrooms at Coney Island are fucking disasters. When I went to the one near the beach, there was about fifty women in line for theirs (which is the average), so as I entered the men’s room I saw assorted women walk out of it (those who just said “fuck it” and didn’t want to wait forever in line) and each one had a look of absolute abject horror (like they saw dead bodies or something). And yeah, the bathrooms are a nightmare because unlike every other disgusting NYC men’s bathroom, beside all the urine and feces all over the places, there’s also a ton of sand everywhere. Best part is how there’s always some dude shaving at the sink. Anyway, by the time I got out, Jay was gone; we went to check out The Cribs, so we later joined him there. And since they really weren’t doing it for the rest of us, Joe suggested we check out She Wants Revenge, which he said I would dig. And they too turned out to be fairly decent. Like Joe said, they are sorta Joy Division-esque, though I noticed bits and pieces of old school Killing Joke in places.

But man, the crowd (it was near the end of the fest, so naturally the place was super packed at this point) was fucking annoying; there were like two sets of dumb underage and drunk hipster girls getting into argument with each other (“No, you fuck the back off bitch!”) and this one annoying guy behind Joe was constantly laughing, but he was obviously a fan since he knew all the lyrics to their songs. Near the end of the set we decided to bolt and track down the Jay. The problem was this: Jay doesn’t have a cell phone, so we walked around to spots where we figured that he might be waiting for us (our unofficial “if anyone gets lost, we’re meeting here” spot is at Nathan’s) but no such luck. Though Joe got his funnel cake, as he does every year. I finally got a corndog, along with some gross and soggy fries. Plus Richie and I witnessed some guy drop his shrimp on the ground because we though he got shoulder-checked, and totally get pissed (though sadly no fight ensued). We then went back to both stages and caught bits and pieces of both Scissor Sisters and Stars, but no sign of Jay. We’ve lost Jay before, but always managed to find the guy (like how I got on the shoulders of one person with us to get a better look and to ask everyone if they had seen our friend at the very first Siren Fest… that was funny). After looking and waiting and waiting and looking, Joe, June, and myself (Richie left earlier to catch Moosehead and the Blackout Shoppers at Continental) headed out… yes, we left a man behind. MISSION FAILED.

So yeah, the show really sucked. Its funny how the more popular it gets, and the bigger it becomes, the smaller everything feels. When it first started, Siren really felt like this big event; you had the main stage with the primary musical acts, but there were all these sides acts, like really small-time bands, comedy, circus acts, freaks, weirdos, midgets, wrestling, etc. And with each passing year, the show looses more and more of cooler side acts and emphasis is increased on the main musical acts, which is cool and all (especially when they added a second stage), but at least there used to be some variety. Now its literally nothing much lame hipster acts. Like many things that start out small and awesome but just gets ruined by popularity, the whole thing has just become so corporate; I knew it was going to be bad news when I first showed up and passed by the tents set up by sponsors and I fucking saw a Goddamn Tekserve set-up. It also doesn’t help that stuff is getting more and more pricey at Coney Island in general; they just jacked up the price of the Cyclone to $6, re-rides are like $5 (its an awesome ride and all, but come on), though I think the bottom line is that its no longer for “us” anymore, and as Joe stated, maybe we’re getting too old for such things.

Want to know the best part of the whole thing? There was this crazy crackhead that we ran into twice at the show. First at Man Man; he was just standing there, right in front of us, sorta dancing to the music, though mostly flailing his arms. At one point he looked as if he was dancing with June, or trying to, then he found some paper airplane on the ground and played around with that. Then later on, while looking for Jay in the Stars crowd, we caught him sitting at the curb, clapping away like a blissful retard, much like before. Though he wasn’t taking sips of gin like earlier in the afternoon. I snuck in some pictures, and this one’s my favorite…

As for the rest of the weekend, it was pretty chill. After the show, I went back to the city with Joe and June with the plan of seeing the new Pirates of the Caribbean flick, but that never happened, so instead we watched Team America on cable (I had forgotten how good it was) and some videos by local NYC bands. And yesterday I just chilled out at home (literally, with the AC cranked on high) and worked on the book, plus played some games. To supplement my current addiction to KOF, I’m now on a PSone kick; played Ridge Racer 4, Xevious 3D+G, and the Misadventures of Tron Bonne, among others. Plus I played a bunch of stuff on the DS Lite to see what they looked like. As a few others have pointed out, the ultra bright screen is nice and all, but the colors are bit too saturated, leaving some games looking less than perfect (New Super Mario Bros is a prime example of this). It makes total sense since designers were originally taking into account the original DS’s screen specifications. On the plus side, Wario Ware Twisted has never looked better.

Now that it’s Monday, I’ve got other things on my mind, such as where in the hell is my Play-Asia order. My copies of Zombie vs. Ambulance and Kuru Kururin Paradise still haven’t arrived. God I hate mail delivery in Brooklyn (normally I have all package deliveries sent to my work, but there’s construction going on, so receiving mail is a hassle for the foreseeable future). And speaking of construction, another thing to worry about is the work being done on my house. Long story short; the day after my belated birthday bash, the concrete wall from the house next door started to crumble, with shit falling into the alleyway next to my home. So the landlady next door hired some folks to repair her home, and in the process, they fucked up the side of ours. When my roommate spoke to the contractor, he offered to put up new vinyl siding, but the colors would be off (it was obvious that he didn’t want to go out and buy and any just use shit he had lying around… he later said that they didn’t have the right color at Home Depot, but whatever, they have tan everything there). Then he claimed that his workers didn’t do anything and the damage was already there (also bullshit, obviously). This all went down on Saturday, when my roommate was on her way to Connecticut to spend a few days before going to Florida, so needless to say she was pissed to had have missed a whole day because of such nonsense. The contractor is a greasy fuck, like all people who deal with real estate in New York City (which is an unavoidable fact), and eventually promised to do the repairs later today, and I have to check up and see if that actually happens (my roommate pleaded with the women next door to not pay the final installment of their contract, to make sure they wouldn’t run off not having finished their jobs and change their names, and she agreed, but we all know that no neighbors actually look out for each other, especially in my part of Brooklyn).

Another thing I’m concerned over is how in my roommate’s absence (she left yesterday morning), I’m supposed to take care of the cats(there’s three: Brantley, the fat fuck that tried to slash everyone’s ankles out, Nova, the one with feline AIDS, which when gets a laugh out of everyone when they hear it, and for good reason, its totally silly sounding, and Mr. Lopez, the really fat but ultimately lovable one that I seems totally gay for me… I can pet him to the point of orgasm), and one of them, that being Mr. Lopez, is missing…
Plus, as anyone who’s in the northeast knows, its fucking HOT outside. Everyone’s AC is cranked up to 11, and for good reason, though when that happens, I get very concerned over the potential for a power outage.

Oh, back to video games, for those who are really into Sega, here’s something…

The cover story was written by (John) Szczepaniak, which is all about the rise and fall of the Sega Genesis (if that cover wasn’t clear enough for you), and I helped out by supplying information regarding the American side of things. Some of you folks might recall me wanting to do a book on the history of Sega, well I guess you can seen just a bit of that in action (at least I think… I hope… I haven’t seen the piece yet). Unfortunately, my name is not listed because John forgot to include it! Hey, mistakes happen. Anyway, check it out if you can (its a UK publication, so for those of us in the United States, I believe Barnes & Noble and Borders carries the publication).

Finally, remember me talking about SEGAGAGA, that crazy Dreamcast game, one of the very last to come from Sega, where you get to actually run the company, and there’s a ton of wacky Sega references all throughout? Well courtesy of Sixfortyfive comes some other vids from the game, including…

- an ad for the Dogma (that’s the evil company you compete against, who’s logo looks remarkably like Sony Computer Entertainment’s) system, the Pyramid

- chapter 8 part 1 (somehow, Shining Force CD is involved… I guess you create it in the game?)

- chapter 8 part 2 (this one’s battle heavy and features many special moves with elements borrowed from other Sega titles, like After Burner, Space Harrier, and other stuff)

- chapter 8 part 3 (make sure to check out the surprise guest star at the end)

- chapter 9 (basically the same stuff from before, just in one vid)

- ending and closing credits (you just gotta love that Fantasy Zone ship)

  • http://lj.slonie.com Slonie

    I’m so watching the rest of the Segagaga videos when I get home…must have sound!

  • phooky

    Yes, fuck scenesters at shows. I nearly got in a fight with some jerk at the Yo La Tengo “Sounds of Science” on Thursday who wouldn’t sit down through the whole show. There were some young kids right behind us who had showed up at 7:30– you know, when the show started– and actually _left crying_ with their parents twenty minutes into the show because they couldn’t see past the asshole hipster fucks who showed up at nine o’clock and were standing up because “it’s a rock show”. Fuck that guy right in the fucking skull. I haven’t been that angry at a dude for years. In some ways, it would have been completely great if you’d been there.

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    I seriously don’t know what the fuck is going on, maybe its the heat or something, but people have been especially obnoxious this summer (I of course don’t have to remind you of the now infamous Funky Forest screening).

    On Wednesday I almost got into it with some old guy that was extremely rude to MK, and the fact that nothing happened has disappointed some; a few friends wanted a more bang-up ending to the episode, and I too really wish I slugged the old fuck (sorry, but I love the elderly, exceptthe ones who live in New York City… they’re all decprepit and bitter, for no good reason… afterall, they pay like $120 for some sweet 80,000 apartment in the middle of Manhattan).

    And everyone on the trains are just so temperamental. Its like, Jesus fuck, I know you’re hot and tired, we all are people.

  • J

    dude. coney island….

    once a year only man…
    once a year…

    also… i recall commenting on the ms pacman a week ago… but its lost. i wanted to say that i actually made it out there last weekend and had a go at it as well. those little twin cabinets are soooo awesome… so freaking fast.

    also.. whenever zombie vs. ambulence gets in… i’m inviting myself over.

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