05/11/2007

“So let me get this straight… You’re on stage, interrogating a seagull puppet, to find out if we’re genuine pirates?!”

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Yesterday was pretty jam-packed. First things first:

I FINALLY HAVE MY PASSPORT!!!! I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO JAPAN!!!

And thank fucking God. I can finally relax now. It arrived yesterday morning at Joe‘s, and not wanting to risk… I dunno, something… I immediately went and picked it up after work. We hung out for a bit as well, and discussed the trip. So the basic itinerary goes something like this: we will be touching base in Tokyo on the 23rd, and then immediately fly down to Okinawa. Stay there for a few days, head back to Tokyo, where we’ll be for a few more days, and spend the rest of the final weekend in Yokohama. I’m most excited about the Tokyo leg; Joe’s already made arrangements with our liaisons to take us on a tour of Akihabara (I will absolutely HAVE to stop by Super Potato), as well as go to a maid cafe (my suggestion, of course).

Afterwards I headed over to Katz’s Deli to hang with the Funny Garbage crew, whom I became acquainted with through Jason and Dave Savage, who happens to be in town this week, hence the meet-up. Highlights include hearing the word “dickhole” for the second time in one day, Dave’s story about a coworker who used to shoot heroin and how his arm became infected, so he wrapped it with plastic and duct-tape, which began to smell like cheese after a couple of days, and Danny Glover showing up (the busboy that cleared our dishes decided to let us know that Danny Glover was ordering a sandwich, and all of a sudden I decided to scream his name and make jokes, which I think might have been the reason he rushed off immediately afterwards… maybe a dick move, but I think my jokes more than justified it).

Oh, and while waiting outside for everyone else to pay their tabs, I was approached by some crazy black dude selling what looked to be his manifesto, and I guess I was just in a good mood or something, because I ended up buying a cop. Perhaps its the crazy, cut and pasted cover, or the title: HOW 2 SHOVEL UR FOOT UP IN THE devil’s S. Or maybe it was because I was able to talk him down to $5 instead of the asking price of $10. The author btw calls himself PMD, the King of the Bling Bling.

I also got a phonecall earlier in the afternoon from Job who, remembering what I had said previously about Mad Maestro, passed along world of how he had seen the game at Virgin Megastore for just $3. Guess its finally time to get a copy!

But yeah… last night was far more eventful than the few previous evenings. Wednesday was movie night, and night before was another IGDA NYC social, both of which I passed on, due to exhaustion. I did end up getting a semi-drunken voicemail from Dave Gilbert from the bar Tuesday night, stating that I was missed, and how Mike Sweeny had come all the way from Jersey to see me. Awww…. Which was kind of a joke I would find out, which made me feel much better. I also apparently missed a bunch of Jedis, but I’m assuming I’ll just run into them again later this summer at John‘s annual 4th of July bash.

Instead, I opted to just catch up on some comics; as mentioned previously, I went to Rocketship this pas Saturday for Free Comic Day and got greedy with the freebees, so to make up for it I bought $60 in books, including a X-Force collection, featuring the final issues of Peter Milligan and Mike Allred’s run (before doing X-Static). Also started reading Kim Deitch’s Alias the Cat and the third volume of Cromartie High… I haven’t even touched any of the free comics, let alone all the mini’s that MK passed along two weeks ago.

Also, started watching the third Midnight Blue DVD, which keeps getting better and better. This one is all about celebrities, and there’s a bunch of interviews, with the one with R. Crumb being the best thus far. Some of the stag film that Barbara Streisand was supposedly in was shown, as well as the Rob Lowe sex tape. Though aside from even more awesome New York cable access sex ads circa the 70′s and 80s, including quite possibly the greatest phone sex ever, I’m really enjoying this volume the best simply because we finally get some of Al Goldstein’s “FUCK YOU!”s. Thus far, his targets have been Donald Trump and Howard Stern; I’m hoping in the next disc, he goes to restaurants that short-changed him on the garlic bread.

Oh, I also saw Spider Man 3 on Monday night with Dave Roman and Raina. And… I really liked it! I know lots of folks didn’t like it, and of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and while its certainly no Spider Man 2, its still pretty decent and nowhere as bad as everyone has made it out to be. In fact, I dare say that most folks who have been the most vocal complainers kinda wanted to hate it from day one and have been somewhat exaggerating the negatives to save face. Real quick, since I know the movie is old news at this point: the acting was top-notch (especially Thomas Haden Church, who I thought was simply awesome as Sandman… whom I was a big fan of in the comics btw), the special effects as expected really good (again, they did a great job with Sandman, and with Venom, and considering how I’m rather anti-CGI these days, it kinda takes a lot to get a positive reaction from me), and the story, while dense, really worked for me. I honestly think Raimi did a great job balancing three bad guys, far more so than any of the previous Batman flicks. Sure I would have liked to see more of Sandman and Venom, but at least they got the bare minimum of screen time. I guess what most folks have issue with is that there were numerous somewhat lengthy, character-driven moments in the film (all of which I totally loved btw), whereas important plot-specifics moments were rushed. I see their point, but for the most part, I enjoyed the pacing; it just felt like a very nicely truncated story arc from a couple of issues of the comic.

Though I do have one complaint, which Dave also mentioned: I really didn’t like how everyone hardly had their masks on. It at least made sense for Spidey to be without his in part 2.

And of course, just as I’ve had seen each Spidey film in theater with Dave, yet another complete fucktard ghetto couple sat next to me and talked the entire god damn time for the third Spider Man film in a row. Among the many, MANY stupid questions and complaints: “Why is the camera all shaky and shit?!?!” They were just loud enough for me to hear them the whole time without annoying anyone else. I tried giving them the evil eye early on, and got a piercing if you fucking say something or look at me one more time, I will fucking whip your ass white boy look from the dude.

I suppose I should also mention that earlier that morning, my iPod Nano froze, once again on the way to work, despite being back to normal from earlier in the weekend. That means, in less than two weeks, my brand new iPod has flaked out on me twice. Fucking awesome. I’m going back to the Apple store later this weekend and raise some hell…

Anyway, back again on the subject of comics, I guess I should also mention that the book that MK has been editing for many months now, which is the latest anthology for Friends of Lulu, is finally available for pre-order! Its called The Girls’ Guide to Guys’ Stuff and as the title implies, is chock of full of comics by girls about shit that dudes are into. I’ve seen the book in various forms and stages and I recall one story involving farts and shit, so it gets a hearty recommendation for me! And securing a copy would also make my girlfriend very happy, and I’m sure everyone out there wants that, right?

So this is the point where I talk about games, but it’s Friday afternoon and I’m at work, where I should be writing for that other blog I write for. So instead I’ll pick this up later this weekend. In the meanwhile, for those who might have missed them, here’s a few highlights from Zedge, including…

- Why adults play cell phone games more than kids, why designing cell phone games is a double-edged sword, and how the world of cell phone games could really use a Miyamoto right about now.

- Cell phone art that’s pretty to look at.

- Cell phone art that incredibly annoying to listen to

- Cyber-punk phones!

- A totally awesome looking version of Resident Evil on the go.

- As well as pillowfighting on the go.

- Is World of Warcraft going mobile?

- At long last, that long stupid cell phone cord finally comes in handy.

- Tinluy little pies being thrown at insects

- And a two-part look at why disgruntled gamers (and game designers) shouldn’t shun cell phone, but actually embrace it (here’s part 1, and here’s part 2).

  • http://www.gamersquarter.com Shapermc

    There was a ghetto couple sitting next to me talking through S3 as well. Comments like “why is there so much crying in this movie?!” abound. Anyways, this is the first time I haven’t said anything to someone like that because… well, the movie was so bad it was kind of like a reverse MST3K, and a bit more entertaining than the actual film.

  • http://www.shortandhappy.com K. Thor Jensen

    Oh, Mad Maestro is so bad! The PS2 analog face buttons just don’t work that way.

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Yeah, I know… I played the demo a whiles ago and it didn’t click. But I always liked the concept, and figured that maybe it got better… perhaps it wasn’t that I could grasp the controls, but they just suck like you say. Though… its just $3! I was gonna just download the game, but I honestly think the trouble to find, download, and burn a DVD is worth more than three lousy bucks.

  • http://www.johngreenart.com John Green

    Danny Glover’s too old for your shit.

  • Ruddles!

    Fort90! Email me, I’ll email you my cellphone number + email.

    Also Super-Potato is a fucking crock.

  • phooky

    Dude! I still need to know: passport– old-school state badges, or crying eagles and Mount Rushmore and shit? This is useless data I must put in my brain.

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    First off, mine is apparently one of the newer, all high-tech passports, with a microchip inside the front over. And yeah, even though the eagle isn’t crying (maybe he does under the proper lighting? is that the government’s way of seeing if its legit?), Mount Rushmore is there, as part of some visual history lesson for this great land of ours. I love how, and where, it ends. The moon.

  • http://www.dmauro.com dmauro

    Rudie doesn’t know what the hell he is talking about. I got the LE edition of Mushihimesama at Super Potato for less than 4,000 Yen and it’s worth going just to see all the old famicom and super famicom games. Make sure to go to Hey Arcade while you’re there too.

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Yesterday I asked Nullsleep for his bullet points of places to hit while in Japan, which he did, and my fucking work computer crashed on me! And all the info was lost. :(

  • David Goldstein

    Congrats on the passport and the new job. Are you still going to be teaching, or are you giving that up?

    Seems everyone is going to Japan… Someone I know from Balticon is finishing up a year of Study Abroad classes there, and WorldCon is in Tokyo this year.

    Matt, I’m sorry, but the big-name stars really value their anonymity and privacy when they’re off-camera. What the busboy did was stupid, but could maybe be forgiven as a reaction to starstruck shell-shock. Shouting it to the world, on the other hand, was rather un-called-for, and you don’t have that excuse; I’ve seen you in the room with big stars and you’re not affected that way. Think about how you would feel in the same situation, when all you wanted was to quietly grab your lunch and go, and someone directed a mob of screaming fangirls in your direction… or worse and more likely, sent a mob of screaming fanboys in MK’s direction. Discretion is a huge part of professionalism.

    Still haven’t seen S3 yet. Been hearing mixed reviews. Hopefully will find time for it this weekend.

    -David

  • David Goldstein

    And speaking of pirates…

    I-CON 27 will have a Pirates theme running through the programming. Should be interesting.

    -David

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Nice….

    I still want a wrestling belt though.

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