First off today is… oh hell….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MK!

MK has been spending the day with her mom and dad, but the real celebration kicked off on Saturday with a visit to the mall. The purpose of the trip was to check out the AIBO at the Sony store since MK’s working on an essay about robots, so it was mainly for research. Plus I really wanted to play with a robot dog. And I did.

I also spent a good deal bothering various Sony sales rep with dozens of tech heavy/hardball questions, the kind I highly doubt they get from your average Paramus Mall shopper. Thankfully my investigative skills came in handy and I got about a solid 15-20 minutes of Q&A before the sales guy realized that I wasn’t going to buy one and that I was just some techno-dweeb. I forgot to mention that Robin, Morgan, and Andy also came along, and they found it all quite boring. Boo-urns to them.

Andy and Morgan then split to attend some fancy dinner, so the rest of us went back to MK’s house where Robin got to finally see the Basil Warriors. And again, the urge to do a sequel (either Five: What Ever Happened to the Basil Warriors? or Basil Warrior Vs. The Rock Figher) grew even stronger. Then we all watched more of that DVD that MK’s brother got when he purchased some knunchuks. The second disc features the same fat guy as before, but instead of chucking knives vikings, he throws spears at fake animals. But he still beats the hell out of car parts, rope, cardboard men, and slabs of meat.

Since it was her birthday celebration, MK decided that we should all go bowling, so once Morgan and Andy’s shindig was over, we went to Morgan’s house to pick them up. I was actually at the place the night prior, where we all just watched TV, and I also got a tour of the place. I just love how everyone’s parents in New Jersey is a psychotic packrats. If there’s one really good thing about being poor and living in a small apartment, its that it makes sure that you don’t waste money of stupid shit that can clutter your living space. The basement was easily the wildest; there wasn’t anything mindblowingly cool, like a Santa and Mrs. Claus wrapped in plastic, or an old Donkey Kong arcade unit, just an insane amount of useless crap. Christ, and I thought my mom was nuts for holding on to old Spiegel catalogs.

Anyway, we all got to an alley just in time for midnight, glow in the dark bowling. Its so nice to bowl with folks who are just as bad as you. Actually, I love to bowl, and used to do it all the time with Dave, but it just got too expensive after a while (even going to the Port Authority’s lanes was somewhat costly, but the sights and sound of our fellow bowlers at the bus station more than made up for it). And this time I totally didn’t suck. In fact, I ended up winning the first game! By the second round, everyone had fallen apart due to the beer, with the exception of MK who wasn’t drinking cuz she was driving. So no surprise, she won the second game, and we both tied with cumulative scores from both games. Awwww….

Unfortunately there is no Wawa’s near MK, so we had to settle for just chips at the 711 (hey, I’m a hot dog person, and used to live off the Big Bites when living at Bay Ridge, but I didn’t want to run a risk with the wieners that night). But I was still hungry when we got back to her place, so I fired up some microwavable pizzas to eat during a really late night viewing of Weird Science. I didn’t bother to check the expiration date… I just assumed that they were from this year (or the last), and it’s frozen microwavable pizza for fuck’s sake! Anyway, I got super sick that night and was throwing up till dawn. Man, I just have NO luck with pizza sometimes (and there wasn’t even any meat on them this time).

The next day, it was decided that the fridge would be my next target toclean out, so I tended to that while Robin and MK took care of the cupboards. Almost immediately they uncovered sauces and the such that had expired two years ago, with the high (or low) point being some BBQ sauce that dated back to 1996. Yikes. Meanwhile, I had plenty of expired meat, expired mayo, and dirty rotten fruits & veggies to contend with. After about an hour, it wasn’t exactly as spic and span as I would have liked, but I ran out of glass cleaner due to the inch thick layer of dried blood in the crisper, and at least I got rif of about 90% of the contents (all of it way expired). And again, MK was quite pleased with the cleansing. I wonder if her mom is gonna bitch about this one too (though Robin’s smarmy note to her… though completely justified… certainly won’t help).

Then we all watched Barbarian Queen, a crappy flick from the 80s featuring… you guess it…. chicks with tits and swords. The best part was hearing MK make fun of the ditzy broad of the group, whom MK affectionally described as “the fat chick” which she would be if it was set in high school, somewhere in Cali cira the 80′s (it’s assumed that there probably weren’t too many fat chicks in the middle ages due to disease, lack of Krispy Creme, and the constant need to run away from rapists.

Afterwards, the three of us hopped in the car, drove to Hoboken (with a trip to Callahan’s on the way… like I said, I’m a hot dog guy), got on the PATH, and went to city for…

I had been super psyched for this event because, like Joe, I truly loath the Oscars, and all that it represents. Aside from from video games, robots, and cute girls, there’s nothing else I like more than complaining (especially when its about those three things), and I always have a total blast bitching and moaning with Joe, simply because he complains about the stupidest things imaginable as well. Plus its always fun to mix Jay into the action since he plays such an excellent straight man to both of our inane bitching and moaning). And even though Joe and I were both very loud, crude, and definitely offensive at certain spots (hence why I have chosen to be light on the details as to what was said), I just hope Mk and Robin had a good time. Though there’s no questioning that Jay did, cuz all Jews love Jew jokes, especially mine. I mean, what’s more entertaining that watching Joe recite all the lines from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome? Certainly not some snooze educing acceptance speech from a horse faced women (no, not Julia Roberts).

Speaking of which, yeah, the Oscars sucked big time, perhaps more so than imaginable. No stupid joke on my end could ever sum up the entire evening any better than Sean Peen get all pissed off with Chris Rock’s Jude Law jokes. Though I have to say once more that it was fucking ridiculous that they didn’t even bother to play any clips for the animated categories. They the show did a great job of economizing time, like having many of the winners of the “non-important” categories give speeches by their seats… and of course, all that saved time was totally blown by the next Karate Kid.

But who cares, I just had a blast yelling at the TV while getting drunk and eating Joe’s delicious deviled eggs, which no one else wanted to touch, Once again, boo-urns to them.

As for today, it’s been relatively low key. Been following up on some game related business (of course) that I will disclose later, plus finished up some last minute birthday present shopping. And also, I came across, a hilarious cartoon about Bill Cosby clones, some person’s attempt at recreating the A-Team, and an awesome pic of Keanu Reeves puking his guts out.