07/16/2004

The Point Of No Return

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

It’s been a shitty past few days. First off at work, the department’s website which I recently redid is now in the process of being tweaked and it’s taking far too long. I knew changes would be inevitable once my take on it was finally fleshed out and viewable from all angles, but my method of tightening things up was rather poor. Halfway through, I realized there was a critical flaw (thanks to a combination of a mathematical miscalculation and the unreliability of Illustrator CS), so I’ve had to abandon a weeks worth of work and start from scratch (and re-install Illustrator 10).

My pace isn’t helping either since I’m so distracted by nonsense, it’s impossible to work at any sort of meaningful pace. The situation with Nintendo last week as just the tip of ice-burg; this week we have high school students taking Maya workshops and many of them are act like… a bunch of high schoolers. We’re also seriously short staffed, otherwise I could at least have assistants deal with them.

Also, because of everyone’s schedules and all the projects on my plate, I haven’t had the chance to take my vacation, and now it’s almost too late since my one year anniversary is coming up in which I will loose all days if they’re not taken by then, as well as the beginning of the school year, which means I’ll be needed for a heavy duty hardware/software configuration phase. So I have to split my time up over the next month, instead of having a solid block to enjoy (and as anyone knows, I need time off). Of course, even if I did, what would I do? I really wanted to go somewhere, but I’m so poor I can’t afford anywhere or anything (hence my original plan of taking time off in early August when checks from various freelance gigs and my teaching post are set to arrive, but that’s when everyone else is taking their time off). It also doesn’t help that most of my friends are going to San Diego for Comic Con next week and I can’t join; I could really use one of those Seaport Village corndogs.

With that in mind, I was not looking forward to teaching class (for once). As much as I’ve immensely enjoyed the experience, it’s also been extremely trying as well. First off, this is my first stab at teaching, and I’m learning just as much as my students with each class. But things are further complicated with a subject matter that is itself abstract and almost impossible to define (as I said before, most of my friends and colleagues don’t know what game design really is… and sometimes I feel the same exact way).

When I started the class, I had a basic plan, a roadmap of sorts, of where to go. But I also made it vague on purpose; I knew that it would be simply pointless to create a rigid syllabus, because I ultimately needed to go though the actual motions of teaching (to “find my voice” so to speak), and only then could I devise a rock solid plan that I would be at last be comfortable with. And that’s exactly what’s happening now, and it’s been quite trying. But growing pains is no excuse for being a poor instructor: I want to be a good teacher. And when I think I’n not, I feel massively guilty, which in turn makes me temperamental and irrational, and hard to get along with. I feel bad for my co-workers and it’s probably for the best that I’ve, for the most part, avoided many of my friends.

Anyway, if you recall, the previous week I had the students create puzzle games. They were originally were supposed to be playtested in class, but things ran long, so it got bumped to the next session, which was last night. Originally, the puzzle making activity was supposed to be week 3, but it took place on week 5, which was now spilling over into week 6. Originally, on week 4, I wanted the class to play actual video games (I think all my friends have heard me talk about having one person play Ms. Pac Man, for example, and having the rest of the class answer questions in regards to what they were seeing and thinking and feeling and etc…. stupid idea? perhaps) but once again, now it’s week 6, and we still haven’t done it. Also, my historical overview was, at this point, starting to become disjointed: I had missed key chances to deviate from certain eras to explore others, and having these talks so far apart was jeopardizing everyone’s retention. “Playing it by ear” was now biting me in the ass.

But so much time has passed that I’m at “the point of no return”. I can’t suddenly go to a super structured last few weeks (perhaps this point is debatable, but I certianly dion’t feel comfortable doing so). So with that in mind, I approached last night’s class rather loosely. I began by going over a list of top 300 games that every designer (and player) should know. Thankfully, this generated much more discussion than past articles, though its not at all surprising given the titles that were included, and those which were left out. I have to give props to the author for including Virtua Racing in the arcade category (no one ever seems to recognize it’s importance: it’s only the first successful 3D video game ever, plus it’s still one of the finest racing games to this very day). Though I must ask why Mojib Ribbon is on the list, and why Vib Ribbon is not.

Next I continued on with the historical perspective, but tried keeping it short and didn’t go over too much ground, just the advent of the 32X and Saturn, Sony’s intention to overtake Nintendo’s top spot and how Final Fantasy would play a role in that, ACM and Donkey Kong Country, the high cost Nintendo and others paid for sticking with cartridges, the first fully realized 3D games, what Sony did to become number one and the games that took them there, and why Hollywood was starting to pay attention to video games once more. Come to think of it, I did go over a lot.

Next was (actual) playtime. All the students played each other’s assignments from last week. Actually, at one point, I wanted to bring in some surprise guests to test the students’ creations (“people off the street” who were actually friends of mine that have wanted to sit in since day one), but due to a scheduling conflict, they sadly could not make it, but I did get one guest after all: Dave Halbstein, an instructor here at SVA whom I chat with often (guy knows about a million riddles) stopped by to see how things were going, as he often does, and offered to play a game.

The reason why I had the class do puzzle games was not only to develop a sense of understanding logic when it comes to setting up the rules of a game, but to maybe tap into that “sixth sense” that tells you what seems right or not right in a game. Since most puzzle games work at it’s most basic, abstract level, one can’t hide behind silly justifications, such as graphics or story, when facing with a flaw in gameplay. Like I’ve said time and time again, if a game works on paper, it should work in a video game.

The whole play session took a while, so we took no break and simply ended the class by checking up on the progress of their final projects. Despite fears going in, the class was a success and was once again the highlight of the week. That, and I got a new girlfriend…

No comments yet

07/15/2004

Jessica’s Story (Chapter 2)

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

This week’s is about the time I got a really bad sunburn…

Two summer ago I went into the t-shirt making business with a few friends. We all made up our own designs, and using a small iron on press, sold our creations at those street fairs you see all over the city.

One day, we had a spot that had no shade whatsoever and the sun was in full effect. We arrived early in the morning, and by noon, I had already developed a sunburn. Since there were no mirrors around, I needed my friends to point this out, and since I had no means to check, I never saw to what extent I was burnt. And my attitude was “hell, I’m already burnt, nothing I can do about it now” and hence I did nothing.

By three o’clock it was insanely hot, and there hadn’t a single cloud the entire day. And apparently my sunburn was considerably worse. One friend who has just arrived noted “Jesus fuck dude, you are seriously red!” My face was feeling a bit warm, so I decided to step into a McDonald’s to check it out, plus use the bathroom. I knew something was up when almost everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at me. And they didn’t exactly display much tact… “Yo, look at this guy! His face is all fuckin’ red!!!”

Once I got inside the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I finally realized that my face was a deep dark scarlet, as if it was covered by a thin film of blood. The fact I was also wearing a red shirt with pretty much the exact same color made me look even stupider. I felt like a total jackass, but once again, since the damage was done, I had no idea what else to do. Even at this point, the notion of going to a drug store and getting some ointment, or even buying a hat, didn’t cross my mind.

I went back and continued selling for the rest of the day, but instead of people asking about my shirts (I was quite proud of the designs, especially the one featuring a masturbating raccoon) they all had to point out that I was the same shade as the devil (mostly old people said this).

By evening, we had wrapped things up, dropped our stuff off, and had dinner. I was still pretty embarrassed by my physical appearance, but dealt with the humiliation and unwanted stares as best I could. But then I noticed something: my face was starting to ooze. I asked others in my company, who were also sporting sunburns (though nowhere near as severe as mine) if they were experiencing the same thing, but none were. After dinner, we all went back to the apartment to chill, but my face was leaking even more so. Cracks on my face were developing and yellow puss was oozing out. I then decided to go home.

I went to bed, hoping that everything would be alright. I wanted to put something on, like a medicated cream, but at this point I was living in a shitty part of Jersey City where there were no drug stores open late at night, so I couldn’t get anything on the way home. The next morning, my face was literally a mess; it was like all the skin had melted. Most of my face was scarred and peeling, but the worst part was the nose; every inch was covered with, and dripping, yellow puss. And man did it hurt like hell. I seriously looked like a burn victim.

I hopped online and discovered that I had sun poisoning. If I had money, I would have gone and seen a doctor to receive treatment, but I was also poor and unemployed at the time. All I could do was go to the local ghetto drug store and get cheapo skin ointment (and witness genuine looks of horror on the faces of the cashiers) and hope it would work. I did my best to stay indoors as much as possible to stay out of the sun’s rays, even though I really needed to be out on the streets going to job interviews.

I forced myself to become a hermit for days, but it paid off; eventually, my face began to heal up, at least most of it. But not my nose, and after two weeks, I was becoming extremely worried. The thing was, I had my nipple bitten in half (which is another story for another time), and the way it reacted was the same exact way as my nose was behaving. Every morning, I would wake up with a hard candy-coating like shell (think M&M’s) on my nose from all the puss that had accumulated and congealed overnight. When I washed my face, the coating would slide off my face (often as one whole piece) and the skin underneath would be pink and raw. And in just a few seconds, it would begin leaking puss all over again, and start to drip. I was in hell.

It took about three weeks, but eventually it did heal (thanks to a very delicate balance of rather costly, but decent, ointments and sour cream, believe it or not), and all seemed fine. Though ever since then, my skin has become ultra sensitive to the sun, but especially back then. Just five minutes of exposure was enough to make my face ketchup red for hours on end (which was particularity bothersome when I went to San Diego later that summer).

On a side note, the whole story of my face made the rounds amongst all my friends, and one had a parent who worked for Avon. She felt so bad that she sent me a bottle of primo sun screen (which even had a touch of bug repellant). I took it with me when going to Coney Island for the Siren Music Fest (which this year happens to be this upcoming weekend). The whole morning was overcast, but not wanting to take any chances, so as soon as some rays started to shine through the clouds, I put a healthy amount on my face. My main concern was being presentable for later that night; I had a date with a girl whom I saw briefly the Christmas prior. Things were called off in the early spring, but seemingly back on track, so I wanted to look good for the first date in months.

But then my face turned red all over again. I couldn’t understand it, until a friend looked at the bottle and pointed something out…. instead of it being high grade sunscreen with a touch of bug repellant, but it was actually high grade bug repellant with a touch of sun screen. And there were specific directions to NOT APPLY ON FACE. I felt like a retard, and looked like one too.

As for the date later that night, it turned out to be a total bust. When all was said and done, her face was almost as red as mine, though that had more to do with her being a lush.

No comments yet

07/14/2004

The Future Is Now

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

It’s been a bit slow these past few days, at least compared to weeks prior, so I’ve finally gotten a chance to catch up on things left by the way side, like the news. Granted, I’ve been keeping abreast of video game related events and other “trivial” matters, but not the real world, which I’ve sort of ignored on purpose. I’d like to believe such selfishness could be forgiven considering the constant reminders that the whole world is going straight to hell thanks to our inept “chosen” government and nothing can be done about it (or at least it feels like it).

But maybe I should have paid better attention, since these past few weeks alone has seen some astounding developments, much of which has fallen under the radar for most. Which is unfortunate since they foretell the next step of human evolution, which has been long overdue.

Take for example the news of the German toddler carrying a genetic mutation which has blessed him with superhuman strength. Or the evidence that proves our government is indeed working on means to enhance a soldier’s prowess on the field of battle; a for real deal “Super Solder Serum” (a la Captain America). Or the dramatic increase of demon related activities in parts of Africa. Plus there’s that girl from Russia with X-Ray vision which I keep hearing about…

And now comes evidence, from the New York Times, that the earth’s magnetic field is collapsing at a far faster rate than expected. Considering how the magnetic fields on our planet flip (north pole becomes south pole and vice versa) every 150,000 years, and we haven’t see one in the last 750,000, the weirdness has only begun. Not only will birds have to contend with a reversal in polarity, which will totally screw up their migrational habits, but with the possibility of humans sharing the airspace as well. Scientist have already foretold that in-between the flip, the earth will see an increase of solar radiation, which I believe won’t just lead to a rise in skin cancer rates, but the possibility of humans being able to fly (a la Superman).

The long predicted (and dreamt of) age of supermen may actually be at hand. Or is it? When it comes to seeing what the future holds, I’ve learned that it pays to study the words of noted time traveller John Titor. Unfortunately, even though genetic engineering is mentioned, there’s little talk related to super hero/super villain stuff. Though considering he spent most of his time spreading the word of an impending civil war and obtaining useful items from “the past” to help get a post World War III society back on track (like some IBM computer from 1975), as well as dealing with constant “Hey, who won the Super Bowl in 20XX?” questions, I can see how he might have forgotten to say “By the way, all you guys will have heat vision in the next couple of months or so” (also, he was pretty tight lipped when it came to giving out specific info on almost anything, though if I had to worry about temporal paradoxes, I would be too).

I was going to speak about other stuff in the news, like how Friendster is now allowing Fakesters, which are profiles of people who clearly don’t exist, but whom real members, such as myself, enjoyed “collecting” until a mass witch-hunt by the site’s administrators got most of them booted from the system (at one point I was connected to the Space Needle, Buddha, and Spider Ham), back into the fold, so long as they pay an entrance fee. And this of course would have given me a chance to expound upon my thoughts regarding the site itself (such as the joys of writing “wacky” testimonials and the surprisingly heartfelt responses I’ve gotten in return) as well as its users, especially those who became disenfranchised and joined other community based sites like MySpace and Orkut, and how some have a need to pester folks “still” on Friendster how “dead” it is, and to go where “all the action is”, and how especially annoying it is to hear these same folks, the ones who are proud to have 300+ on their friends list, bitch about such trivial matter in real life (fucking Willamsburg hipsters). But I’m too busy still thinking about what super powers I might have a legitimate chance of developing, though at least I still found time to hunt down Spider Ham pics; here’s another great cover from the comic:

BTW, you can find more here. Also, thanks again to the good folks at the Gaming Age Forum for all the info on the uber baby, demon attacks, and time travelers. Yes, I get my news through a video game forum. What of it?

No comments yet