07/22/2005

Talk About Trouble…

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

This week some more game companies came into town. On Tuesday was Namco, and was easily the worst press event I have ever experienced. I know I probably shouldn’t talk about such things publicly, but I’m still shocked by what went down, so anyway…

I showed up at my appointed time and was immediately greeted by a Namco rep. I told her upfront, and in my usual very nice and casual manner, that my editor and I had gone over the list of games that would be on-hand and I was only really interested in seeing just one title, Katamari 2. I was representing Nickelodeon Magazine, and whenever doing so, I almost always have to pass on a few games from that’s too violent or adult for the Nick Mag audience. But this time around, many of Namco’s games, which were GBA games starring Hello Kitty and Gumby, were too young for us (the games are for kids 5-8, and our audience is 8-13). Also, since a coworker was on vacation, I was needed at SVA to cover for her, so my time was also very limited, and I pointed this out as well.

Since Katamari 2 was being occupied, it was suggested that I check out a new Curious George game that’s based on the upcoming movie in the meantime. To be honest, I really can’t say anything about it, good or bad, cuz its super early… too early to be shown to the public in my opinion.

Next was the game I had been waiting months to play, We Love Katamari. And it was everything I had hoped it would be: its just like the first game, but much more. I tried out two areas, an under water level and a bit of the two player mode, which was loads of fun (and much better than the first game’s). I spent about ten to fifteen minutes with it, but unfortunately, since the game kept crashing (it was a work in progress build of the American version) I got in five or so minutes of actually play time. In the interim, I chatted with the Namco guy doing the demo, and ended up making it pretty clear that I’m a big fan of the franchise, believe it or not, cause a problem…

Aside from the Namco guy was a PR person (often game companies will use local PR firms to organize events). The best PR people are the ones that can get information across in a pleasant, professional manner. Often one will say things that I already know, which is funny since in reality, I probably know more about video games than the person, and most probably have no clue what they’re saying anyhow. But hey, they’re just doing their jobs, to sell the game, and I can respect that. But I can’t respect any person who just doesn’t listen to the person they’re shilling to, or anyone who gets all in your face, no matter how “pleasant” they believe their demeanor to be. Anyway, once it was established that I knew everything there is to know about the game beforehand, I got the feeling there it was then sorta pointless for me to even see the game. Geeze, cuz I guess wanting to play the game that I plan on possibly writing about is not good enough if I already know all the hard facts.

So this woman shuts off the system, while I was literally in the middle of playing the game! Then she says “I know you’re short on time, but I would really love it if you could check out our new Gumby game!” You know, I rag on EA’s games and business practices, but the PR folks they have deserve kudos for being such outstanding professionals, who never dare do such a thing.

Anyway, I was so shocked that I dully followed her. Then I watched some guy play this GBA game, with about five or sex Namco and/or PR folks all watching me, watch the game! They all formed this semi-circle around me, and were all a bit too close… it was rather creepy. As for the game? Honestly, it looked horrible; the guy was playing this mine cart level (sorry, but even five year olds have seen that about a million times before) and kept dying, so he had to restart. Gee, if a game for little kids is too hard for an adult, that’s really bad. Then he wanted to show me a side scrolling platform level, but couldn’t get to the action cuz he couldn’t skip a cutscene. For a GBA game.

Wanting to fill the uncomfortable silence, I asked when the game was due, and was told something like next week. At that point I had enough, and it took a lot of self-control to explain in a calm manner “Well, the reason why we look at games in the production cycle is to ensure that when we go to press with our story, the game will just be coming out for sale. Even if I wanted to write about this game, it would be too late, since the game would have been out for at least three months already.” When the PR woman then asked if I wanted to see anything else, I re-stated that I was only there for one game, being Katamari 2, and that I actually wanted to check it out some more, but was dragged away from it, and now my time was all used up. She said that she could get that demo person back for me, but I noticed him eating his lunch and I didn’t want to interrupt that. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Actually, they had Soul Calibur 3 and I had planned on getting a few minutes of that in after I was done with what I needed to see, but I was so upset; I just wanted to leave. They even promised lunch and had a huge spread, but again, I was extremely shocked and upset to stick around. As I made my way out, I noticed everyone just looking at me with stunned silence. I do have an idea for something terrific story idea in mind for the magazine involving Katamari, but now I’m afraid that might not be possible. I really hope what I just wrote makes it way to someone in Namco HQ because they should be made aware of how the PR firm they’re spending money on is handling themselves.

I really wish I could talk more about the game… it looked awesome, and music was just as excellent, but again, I didn’t get a chance to really play it! Enough bitching…

On Wednesday was Sony and I got to see various PS2 game in action, along with a PSP title.

First up was two EyeToy titles, Play 2, another selection of mini-party games, which like the first seemed insanely fun. Then there was Kinetics, a title that emphasizes physical fitness; it stars two personal trainers that takes the player along various exercises that ranges from aerobics to kickboxing to various other kinds. I’ve always been a fan of the technology behind EyeToy but have never had a real excuse to buy one. Well I do now; I’m currently trying to get into better shape and Kinetics looks like it can help me with the job. All of it is strictly low impact, but even the guy demoing it was getting exhausted after a while with one of the kicking exercises.

Next was MediEvil for the PSP, a series that I always thought was kinda neat but never really got it. But I have friends, like Rod, who loves the original two games for the PSone and they might like the new one. Though I recall the camera being sorta pulled back, giving those games a different feel to the world as opposed to the traditional, camera right up close and behind kind of game that I played. But it looked nice enough and with the original developers on board, again, fans should enjoy the game.

Though I will say that the game’s Teen rating makes zero sense, but I’ll bitch about the USRB later.

Saw a bit of the new hockey game starring Wayne Gretzky. Gotta admit, there’s something fun about a game where both teams is comprised of nothing but Gretzky’s and hearing the announcer go “Gretzky passed the puck to Gretzky. Gretzky checks him. Now Gretzky has it… Gretzky steals it…. Is Gretzky gonna score? Gretzky for the steal!”

Lastly, I saw Shadow of the Colossus being played right in front of me for the first time, and it is now the one title I am most looking forward to this year, more so than the new Zelda game. I cannot even begin to describe how beautiful and awe-insprining the game is. Not only does it look amazing, but it feels amazing (in a way that one can sense without having to touch the controller), plus it really pushes the system to point of breaking, which like other games that come out in a system’s later years, is something that I really appreciate and savor.

But I can tell you right now that the game is going to be an absolute bomb. In this day and age when people expect a game to have 40 hours of non-linear gameplay, with tons of side-quests and items to fetch, they won’t be able to handle a rather simple game with a singular objective and that emphasizes art and atmosphere over just letting the player do whatever the hell he wants. There’s 16 monster to take down and that’s it… there’s no other enemies or goals, just take down one monster, find out where the other one is, take it down, repeat. Think of it as a great book; sure you can read one in just one sitting, or you can take your time and let it settle in your mind. You don’t see many people trying to trade in a good book at a Barnes & Noble just because its too short do you? But most game players may not be as reasonable. I blame games like GTA, and the advent of 3D gaming in general…

And yesterday, Sega came to town, which is a first if I’m not mistaken. They had a bunch of stuff for all the systems.

First up was Shadow the Hedgehog, a game that as you might recall, I’ve criticized and ridiculed quite a bit already. And the game didn’t play any better what I had expected. It was like a Ratchet and Clank clone, but with a poor camera. Plus the game does indeed look like a Dreamcast game, and not in a good way.

Next was a much better Sonic game, Sonic Rush for the DS, which was quite good. It’s like Sonic Advance but with a different esthetic and feel… think of the difference between Sonic 2 and 3 on the Genesis. Its actually a bit harder with two screens, since its easy to miss a platform to you jump to and the such.

Then was Virtua Tennis for the PSP. I was a big fan of the original on Dreamcast and this one is just as good if not better. While it is a bit of a chore to play with the analog nub (the DC’s controller was perfect for the game), its all about the mini-games, in which are seriously pretty Goddamn brilliant. In fact, Virtua Tennis for the PSP is the game Mario Power Tennis should have been.

The final game was Super Gunstar Heroes. As a hardcore fan of the original, I had pretty lofty expectations, and for the most part, they were met. There’s been a lot of controversy regarding the changes to the gameplay, specifically how there’s no mixing of weapons, but the tweak in the mechanics now gives the game a more Alien Soldier feel (just like the original screenshots indicated) which is actually quite nice. Also there’s not as much frantic running and jumping around, though I attribute that to the difference in ratio between the environment; your character is much bigger and the screen is much smaller.

But that being said, the graphics and animation were top-notch, and was like the Genesis game but on steroids. Seeing the confrontation against 7 Force once again but totally revamped will make any Gunstar fanboy gush. And I love how the new shooter segments play like Tempest. Its already GBA game of the year for me.

There was a Xbox 360 game there, but I didn’t have the time to give it a spin (like this lucky kid). There’s some Microsoft event coming up soon so I’ll get my chance then, but at the very least I should have picked up the controller to see how it felt. Everyone seems to love it thus far…

One last thing: I just wanted to mention how awesome the Sega folks were. It was complete 180 of the Namco debacle; everyone was just nice, friendly, and very chill. Then again, its always good when the folks who demo games obviously enjoy them (plus it always fun hearing anecdotes like how they are all actually very competitive, to the point that one practiced Virtua Tennis will into the night and still lost, and then flipped out in the office).

- As for news, the whole week has been more or less dominated by San Andreas Hot Coffee controversy which has hit absurd proportions. Earlier in the week the USRB changed its rating from Mature to Adults Only, which promoted all the major retail chains, Wal Mart, Target, Circuit City, Best Buy, and Gamestop, to pull the game off store shelves. Rockstar plans on repackaging the game with the offensive material removed… which once again is not part of the game proper and is only unlockable with a cheat device or a hack… but it might take them much time and money (not that I particularly care for Rockstar of course). But now it seem as if the major retail chains may not carry the new game with the changes.

The only reason why I even care about all this is that its frightening how much ill-informed hysteria can control businesses. First off, it just exposes how much of a joke the ESRB really is. I think its totally ridiculous that they don’t even play the games they rate, they just review a tape that the game’s manufacturer provides (I have to assume most don’t know about this). Plus most people don’t even pay attention to the ESRB’s rating anyhow, hence why so many little kids are playing the game; cuz their parent bought it for them. The game should have been AO in the first place, but I guess a game where you go around shooting cops is okay for those under 18 is okay… but one where there’s a little sex is inappropriate isn’t? Once again, this country has it’s moral standards all fucked up.

When EA purchased Paradox entertainment, it decided to not release the ultra violent four player fighting game Thrill Kill that was in development. Why? Because a few folks from the inside felt that such a game would cause so much controversy that it could be used by lawmakers and moralists in their favor to over-regulate, and even destroy, the industry. And looking back, I really can’t say that it was such a bad move.

There has always been a very thin, line that all game developers and publishers don’t speak of, in which they don’t dare cross with overly violent or sexual games. That line has been pushed, further and further, but now it seems likes it might be coming to a head. So now it seems that a whole lot of precious time and my (and your) tax money is going to be wasted over a fucking sex min-game that’s not even supposed to be in the game! And now it seems the floodgates are opening since there’s some lawyer in Miami calling for a ban on the Sims 2 for its nude patch. For once I’m happy that EA is so super rich, since they can hopefully counter-sue this guy in oblivion.

I guess I better get Gods of War ASAP since there’s tits in that game as well.

Also, it sure didn’t take long for the t-shirt to come out.

- In other news, very quick like: there’s word from the San Diego Comic Con that Street Fighter 4 is now in the works. And like everyone else on this earth, I hope to God that its 2D. But you just know it won’t. As someone already predicted, it’ll probably be 3D but with cel-shading.

On a related note, the new Tony Hawk for the DS is cel-shaded, and has more than a passing resemblance to Jet Set Radio.

Biohazard (Resident Evil) 5 for the Xbox 360 and PS3 has also been unveiled, which makes it the very first next-gen multi-platform game. Would you expect anything less from Capcom? You probably won’t have to search far for the trailer; looks decent. And it apparently retains the look and feel of part 4, which is a very good thing.

Plus there’s also word of yet another shooter headed for the Dreamcast… maybe, hopefully (since its coming out in the arcade on the Naomi board). It’s called Radilgy and its by the makers of Chaos Field. Here’s the page that suppose to have the info, but as I write this, it won’t open. Maybe there’s too many hits?. I wonder if it has anything to do with this game, Radirgy. It looks like Radiant Silvergun, but… wait for it… cel-shaded!

And courtesy of Sho Nuff from the GAF is some instructions on how and where to best enjoy porn on the PSP which came with one of the recent releases:

Here’s the translated text:

1) In the company toilet
2) Waiting to meet someone
3) In the park
4) On a tuna fishing boat
5) Skydiving
6) Winning stupidly

And here’s a link to a slightly bigger sized version of the pic, just so you better see the little guy’s boners.

- Finally, the last bit of big gaming news, at least for me, is that the Insert Credit boards are finally alive again. As much as I enjoyed the place the first time around, it did feel as if things were starting to become a bit tiresome during the final days, and was sorta glad to see it put to rest. But now that it’s back, I’ve only now realized how much I rather missed it, so its good to be back (plus I think the massive reset has been extremely beneficial). In fact, thanks to one of the excellent forum members, I can now finally download a copy of Mario Battle No.1 for myself!

3 comments

07/19/2005

Video Game Journalism 101: A Brief Overview

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

If you’re a fan of anything…. film, music, comics…. what’s the one thing that you crave the most, aside from the actual thing? Information of course; among many other things, you want to know what’s going on in its world, about the folks and events relating to it, and (often most importantly) what out there is good or bad. The same holds true for video games, but unfortunately, finding reliable and accurate information can be an impossibility the vast majority of times.

I myself am a video game journalist, and that term is pretty much a joke among the hardcore game aficionados. So what does that exactly say? That those in “the know” are well aware that what they read and hear is pretty much crap, which is pretty much the truth (though I personally am more concerned with the fact that those who aren’t in the know don’t realize that what they are being told is often worthless).

There’s many reasons why the journalism side of gaming is the way it is one could suppose…. for one thing, given that video games itself is a relatively new thing, its no surprise that the journalism component is as well, and therefore hasn’t found a real voice yet. But those paving the way are not doing a stellar job of it (more on that in just a sec).

But the bigger issue is the relationship that game publishers and magazine publishers have; game companies don’t want negative press for a game that’s in mid-production since poor word of mouth can have more of an impact that even positive buzz. A game that’s in progress is like a movie that’s still in the editing phase: just one or two seemingly minor changes can have a profound impact. But given the inherent participatory nature of video games, more so than any other media, its very difficult to shake off the negative feelings relating to game once a bad play experience has been had, or if it doesn’t look or move right. Which is why folks who write about them… at least on the print side… have to be very delicate when discussing a game that still in production. And often this can lead to an over cautious overview of a title. Hence why when some magazine are overly generous when previewing a game which obviously looks bad, and ends up getting poor scores anyhow, folks begin to wonder. But is it that easy to place blame on the magazine?

EGM gave much attention to the now infamous Enter the Matrix a few summers ago and it looked like crap. I was pretty clear at that point that it would not be able to deliver all its promises, and no surprise, the game scored poorly. But I always wondered why couldn’t EGM figured this out ahread of time as well? Were they just being as objective as possible? Maybe. Or was it that they didn’t want to risk damaging a relationship with the publisher and lose out on future stories?

Each video game magazine is in a constant battle over the next big story, which they all rush to get on their covers to then win over a person’s $5 at the magazine rack. It’s always been the case since day one, but these days their biggest foe is not among themselves but the internet. The lead-time for a magazine is usually two months, and some website can deliver that same exact content in just a few hours. So due to this constant battle over time, “mistakes” can and will happen, mostly on the review side of things.

One of the biggest dirty secrets in the industry is the fact that many reviewers simply never finish the games that they rate. Some say that it’s impossible nowadays since many games can range between 60-80+ hours in length. Other feel that there’s no excuse; its like a film reviewer watching the first half of the movie and basing his or her verdict from just that. Sometimes a reviewer will base judgment upon a game that’s no finished or which hasn’t been finalized. It can be a necessary dirty trick to get bragging rights of having the first review of such and such title, and its always painful to read some astute reader expose this tactic.

I fall into both camps actually… I know that it can be super difficult to finish certain games, especially with a looming deadline. But that’s the way it is, and when I first started reviewing games for GMR, I took the job very seriously and made damn sure to beat every single game I was given, no matter how difficult (or spiritually draining-ly bad) it might be. But things didn’t always work out no matter how hard you try… there’s one game I reviewed that I never actually finished, which it was a title which had about 100+ hours of gameplay and was in a genre which I flat out am horrible at. Thankfully it was a franchise title that has a strong legion of fans that were going to buy the next game in the series no matter what I said, but it still bothered me. And that there is main problem here, with all of game journalism, and it’s that no one really cares.

People chuckle when I say that I’m a video game journalist, but when I say that I take it seriously, folks flat out call me an idiot. Can I blame them? There’s virtually zero qualifications when it comes to writing about games other than being good at games I guess. Hey, is a guy who really, really like Sly Stallone automatically qualified to write about movies? Not really, but there’s no adherence to common sense in the game writing biz. And what perturbs me the most is how holier than though many people act. As seriously as I take things, some take it way too seriously. I can’t tell you many times I’ve spoken with a fellow writer who went off on how hard and difficult it is to play games for reviews, how its such a chore and how jaded he’s become. My response is always “Hey asshole, you get paid to play video games. That shitty game you had to play? You got $300 for it. That’s like every teenager’s wet dream. So please shut the fuck up.”

Back to the seemingly un-winnable war that print magazine wage against the web; since its almost impossible to directly compete, then why doesn’t the print mags do something different? Why concentrate on reviews that will almost always be outdated and do something different, like more special interest or even investigative? Because the audience is not there, at least not yet. So its interesting that web writers are the ones taking the initiative and doing just that, something different. And in doing so, they’ve created quite a fuss, and their movement even has a name, “new games journalism”, which was the hot topic (or joke) a few months ago. I chose not to much about it back then (I just didn’t want to get involved), but will say now that I loved the old guard’s reaction. They know the current means of business is simply not working; just barely scraping by is not good enough, but till someone or something has the guts to really shake things up, business as usual will continue to commence. And those who rely on that aren’t going to take too kindly to those who are eager to point out the flaws.

But the thing is, most of the complaints were totally spot on. The whole new approach of writing, which is primarily from a first person’s point of view, which actually makes sense since playing games is such a singularly experience, is one of those things that looks great on paper, but is often excruciating in execution. There’s a fine line between exploration and narcism and much of what’s out there is pretty bad. But it almost has to be done, for things to evolve and improve.

Hey, I at least appreciate off the beaten path game writing for the web as opposed to the mainstream fare, in which there are two main outlets for the time being, Gamespot and IGN, and which is why I’m rambling on about game writing in the first place. Take everything annoying and flawed about game writing for magazines and take away all associated excuses relating to creating a magazine, like deadlines, up the poor grammar and spelling, increase the made up bullshit ten-fold, plus add a dash of internet driven ego-boosting, and you get Gamespot and IGN.

Yesterday I came across this: a story that states that the new Harry Potter book’s first day sales numbers might eclipse that set by Halo 2, which shattered and created new records. Okay, so, what’s the point? One’s a book and another is a video game. It could be argued that both are major forms of entertainment that appeal to young folks, and that ultimately at least one book, the most popular one out there right now, is more so than the most popular game (which btw, is good news to me). But seriously, what does one thing have to do with another? Nothing. And that’s my point; the writers of Gamespot (and IGN) seriously have nothing better to do than just make up stories. And this is a very light example. Otherwise they just report rumors or half-truths as fact and enjoy all the calamity ensue, as folks battle it out on the message boards. The editors of both sites know that what they say is bullshit, but they also know that perhaps 25% of what they say is true, and they’re willing to lie or make up stuff in hopes of getting that 25%.

Misinformation is without a doubt the single most crippling thing in the video game industry today. I still believe without a doubt that one of the reasons why the Dreamcast died a premature death in the states is due to idiotic game store clerks from Gamestops and EBs who told folks that they were eager to buy a DC system that Sony’s new system was on it way and that the PS2 would have “photo-realistic graphics” and “blow the DC out of the water” and basically make the customer feel stupid for wanting what they came in for. Hell, how many times have you heard from some Best Buy goon that the upcoming Xbox 360 would play all Xbox games out of the box or that the PSP would play all PS2 games and DVDs? We know better, but most of the buying audience doesn’t. And most folks who read Gamespot and IGN don’t know that they’re being taken for a ride either. IGN takes the prize for the worst writing period. Take a look at any of their reviews and its total cluster-fuck of the English language. Granted I have poor spelling and grammar from time to time, but at least I’m just one guy and not some army of supposed writers and editors (and I sure as hell don’t charge you money for my site either). But another thing that I find some troublesome is IGN’s recent foray into the world of the opposite sex…

IGN has made news as of late thanks to their latest contributor. Her name is Jessica Chobot and she has a new feature called “WTF”. First off, how did she get her job? Well, and I’m not joking here, because of a photo of her liking a PSP. And that’s it. Or at least that’s as much as anyone’s been told…

What IGN is doing is simply cashing in on yet another popular thing these days, the “grrrl gamer”, which is a whole different can of worms. I know I’m going to get a lot of flack for saying this, but I find a good deal of grrrl gamers out there extremely annoying and infuriating.

Now let me just state for the record that I have absolutely no problems with women playing video games. For starters, my girlfriend plays games and if anything, I would like her to play more. And one cannot ignore the role of gender in video games; the main reason why so many women have been so turned off by games is that its such a male dominated industry and pursuit. Hence why I’m so pleased that more and more girls and women are openly admitting their interest in video games almost every day; the more women who play (and especially make) them, the better it is for everyone. And it goes without saying that I would love to hear what women have to say about games.

But I do have a problem with the female bloggers who seem to have made names (and practically careers) out of being super sexy and cute and that also happen to like games, and absolutely nothing else. Maybe I’m just a guy and am just missing the whole “girl power” aspect, but what exactly is so liberating and empowering about some 25 year old Barbie doll that uses internet/gaming lingo when writing and likes talking about how guys suck and other 10th grade level mumbo-jumbo? I don’t know… I think if I was a girl I’d find such shit pretty condescending, pandering, and all around annoying. It seems that to be accepted into anything, especially if it’s dominated by “boys”, you have to be “hot”, which is such a horrible message out there.

Then again, why can’t women who like games also happen to be attractive? It’s every person’s right to represent themselves in any way they want, and its not like I’m asking anyone to act like a martyr, but if you’re whole gimmick is sexual independence and breaking down the barriers, yet you’re constantly parading yourself around in tight outfits for the sake of fan service, well then…

Worse are the folks who are stumbling over themselves to capitalize on such a craze, such as IGN. Back to Chobot, who the hell is her article suppose to appeal to? First off there’s plenty of talk about manga, which makes sense and is even cool since that’s what’s popular with girls right now… but then there’s pics of her just lying around in bathing suits or on a motorbike. WTF indeed. It’s suppose to appeal to horny guys, that’s who of course, the ones that will instantly pay attention to the ramblings of a hot chick who has nothing to say, as opposed to a woman who has real opinions on something that they actually care about, but this other female doesn’t happen to flaunt hard nipples exposed to her Nintendo shirt which was purchased at Hot Topic.

There are some great female writers out there, some of them writing about video games. But considering how things are, their voices are not just being not hear, but are simply not wanted.

Anyhow, I’m embarrassed to admit that I am a subscriber to IGN’s subscription based Insider service, which allows me access to Chobot’s article, as well as others. I’ve always known the quality of writing to abysmal, but have stuck around only for the access to quirky Japanese commercials that are also made available. But its about time I put my money where my mouth is and cancel my account.

22 comments

07/18/2005

No Vic Thrill?

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

- Friday night MK and I caught Wily Wonka. We saw it at some super huge mall in upstate New York, a four-story ultraplex with about a billion different stores, which meant plenty of places to kill time before the movie. MK chose H&M, I chose the Japanese bookstore and the Lego store. Plus there was a Target, and of course one of us had to get DVDs, and that person was me (hey, Jaws 30th Anniversary edition for just $16!).

Then there was a Barnes & Noble was jam-packed with Harry Potter freaks all waiting for the midnight release, and it was loads of fun goofing on them. Again, I consider myself a pretty big Potter fan, but even I have to laugh at the diehards, especially at some doofus with stupid fake plastic Potter glasses running around the store, high on excitement and on sugar, with chocolate cake visibly wedged in various parts of their braces, and this person is like in their mid twenties.

Anyway, the movie? It was awesome. Seriously. And… get ready to raise those pitchforks…. I thought it was just as good as the first film interpretation. And while in some instances that film is superior, I honestly do feel that this new one is actually better in a few areas as well.

First off, some people need to get over themselves and accept the fact that its not a remake of the Gene Wilder pic, but is its own thing, which is actually far closer to the source material than the first flick. I myself haven’t read the whole book, but MK did (she’s a big fan of it actually) and stated that it tapped into various aspects which helped to define the characters and stories that the first film either changed or ignored. Hey, I’m the guy who doesn’t mind changes to the original source material, so long as the changes work for the better. Plus even I didn’t have to read the whole thing to realize that whole “Charlie, you fucked up, you’re not getting the chocolate factory after-all!” scene seemed totally out of place and tacked on, which for me drags the whole film down.

And speaking of, while I’m a fan of the first movie, even I am willing to admit its not the greatest thing ever. I’m a huge Gene Wilder fan, and in my opinion, he’s pretty much the only really good thing about it. Without him, the original is actually nothing special and pretty boring IMHO.

As for the rest, the new kids are awesome; they all played the parts of arrogant shit-headed pricks to perfection, making what happens to them all the more satisfying, whereas the originals were just dumb. The kid who played Charlie was great, as was his parents and grandparents (we get all four like in the book this time around). And Johnny Depp, whom I’m also a big fan of, was simply amazing, and I just feel his version of Wonka was far more interesting and served the story and character better than Wilder’s. Wilder was good, but Depp was doing something totally different and I happened to like it better.

Plus the art direction and the music were all top-notch, and the story was pretty decent to boot; you even get to see a bit of Wonka’s past, and when this first popped up, I got flashbacks of the Grinch’s bullshit backstory from that movie, but it actually worked this time. Everything just worked so incredibly well… and yes, I also prefer the new Oompa Loompas.

Overall, a rock-solid film that will be yet another thing to cause me to get into petty arguments with delusional/irrational fanboys, this time Gene Wilder ones I suppose. I guess they can get in line after Joss Whedon fans who seem to be ones I’m annoying off the most for the time being (more on that later).

- And on Saturday was the Siren Music Festival at Coney Island. Gotta say, this one wasn’t as impressive as year’s past. Some commented that the line-up had no real obvious stars, which I guess might be true, though I couldn’t really say since I’m so out of the loop music wise (though its true that I didn’t recognize a single act save one). It might also explain why the turn out was so low when compared with past.

My beef was how everything felt so all the same, with no real stand outs, like a guy playing the guitar in a fighter pilot’s helmet (that would be Bob Logg III from two or three years back). But none of that mattered to me as much as the absence of the side stage; every year the bar Puzzles has its own stage ste-up to feature a wide range of bizarre acts which always provide the most fun. But as Joe, June and myself discovered at the Mermaid Parade, Puzzles is no more, which meant no side stage (and no Vic Thrill goddamnit)

But Siren really isn’t about the music, its about hanging out with friends, sitting on the beach, eating hot dogs, and laughing at Willamsburg art fags, and there was still plenty of that. In addition to the regular Coney Island gang of Joe, June, and Jay, Robin joined us. It was his first time ever on the bumper cars and the guy seemed to have a real blast. Plus its always nice to have someone around for a 2 player session of Ms. Pac Man. Plus Joe and I got one ride on the Cyclone in, which has totally re-ignited my need for roller-coasters. Thankfully there’s talk about a trip to Great Adventure early next month. Richie from the BDF was there, but sadly, no Mike.

As for the music, we caught Nine Black Alps, an up and coming band from the UK which were actually pretty damn awesome. Just straight forward rock, but not the whiney emo-pussy variety. They were the first act of the day and easily the best. Next was Morningwood, a local NYC act which started out with two great songs, but quickly went generic. Plus its another band that has to remind you every fifteen seconds that they have a “sexy”. She lost me with “Alright everyone, clap your hands! I said, everyone clap your hands! Not everyone’s clapping their hands! I ain’t gonna start the song till everyone claps their hands!” Jesus, shut up and fucking sing lady. I wanted to check out VHS or BETA simply cuz I’ve heard of their name but missed them, so I still have no idea what they sound like. The big headliner was Spoon which, from a hundred or so away sounded decent I guess.

Hey, I’m just happy that it didn’t rain. It was fucking disgusting (as its been for a while now, the humidity has been insane) but it didn’t rain.

- Yesterday I just chilled out at my place, watched Jaws, plus some Futurama, and finished hooking up all my systems to my set. I finally got component cables for the GameCube (Resident Evil 4 looks f’n nice!) which opened up a space to hook up my modded PSone, which led to a long Ridge Racer 4/Xevious 3D+G /Vib Ribbon play session. Believe it or not, I think I’m developing “Nintendo thumb” (I refuse to call it by the updated term “PlayStation thumb”) which is odd since I don’t play that much.

In other news, Karakuri, a cute little game from Tecmo which as far as I can tell, is pretty much the only thing to really look forward to for the PSP just got a homepage. Plus Tokypia just posted a review of some porn for the system. And now there’s apparently an app in the works that lets you play old Lucasarts point-and-click adventure games on the Sony handlheld as well. Now that is hawt.

Finally, my copy of Napple Tale has yet to arrive. Yay for eBay.

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