10/14/2005

Uh Oh…

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Last night Katie called to say that she might have E. Coli poisoning! Long story short, she got a kidney infection a few days ago, so the doctor advised her to drink as much water as possible, which she then did (mostly from the tap). But yesterday her school (Syracuse) warned everyone to stop drinking the water immediately due to E. Coli contamination. Fucking insane… She all thought it was pretty funny and of course had to tell me (since everyone knows about my near-death bout a few years back).

On the plus side, I highly doubt traces of E. Coli could be anywhere as dangerous as what I had, which was directly from undercooked meat, but she does have a kidney infection so there’s still some real danger there, though Katie’s also taking antibiotics for the infection, so they might also help here as well. At least Katie was in good spirits last night, plus shit (and puke) wasn’t flying out from ever end while on the phone, so that’s a positive sign.

Also last night, the bathroom ceiling started leaking. Stephy explained to me that its happened before; there’s just some tiny hole somewhere on the roof that absolutely no one (neither herself or her family or even a professional) can seem to find. Even though its rained before without incident, I guess there’s been so much this week that wherever its been collecting finally gave way (the last time this happened was over a year ago says Stephy). The bottom line is that if there’s a hole even as small as a pinhole, and a path, water will find its way inside, somehow. Thankfully, it isn’t no where as bad as the time the entire bathroom ceiling caved in when I was living in that shitty apartment in Harlem, but its still distressing nonetheless. But I’m also very glad that I’m living with the home owner and don’t have to deal with some asshole super who won’t do shit unless you grease his palm.

Unfortunately in a situation like this, all one can do is wait for the rain to subside to investigate, but consider how its going to rain for the next couple of days, something might have to be done asap otherwise the mess might become considerably worse. Though I certainly don’t like the idea of my roommate, let alone myself, walking around on a slippery roof. So yeah, I’m pretty fucking sick of the rain at this point; at first I was just annoyed with it derailing weekend plans, but now this….

… As for today, I just got back from the hospital (everything I wrote before this sentence was from the morning). I won’t go into too much detail other than a student had a medical emergency, 911 was called, and I had to accompany her to the emergency room to make sure everything was okay. But without getting into too much dirty details…

- The paramedics were nice and all, but were pretty clueless, such as how they had no idea where the fucking hospital was (which is super close to the school btw).
- Some asshole in the waiting room got pissed that I wouldn’t let him borrow my cell-phone, to the point that he started threatening me (and if you just saw this guy, you wouldn’t not have lent him yours either).
- The bathroom in the emergency ward at St. Vincent’s is pretty much on par with any that you’ll find at a Dunkin’ Donuts in the city, if you catch my drift.

Anyway, I’m out of here. DigitalLife awaits…. not that I have any high exceptions or anything (especially after last year’s rather abysmal showing). I’m just curious if the word on the street is correct, and that’s if Ziff-Davis managed to con a bunch of bloggers from 1UP into working the show.

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10/12/2005

Conversations

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Last night, while waiting for MK, I went into a Gamestop and overhead the following conversation between a girl and her father…

girl: (in a desperate and panicky tone) “But dad, I NEED this game!”
father: (in an apathetic tone) “I’m not spending thirty dollars tonight.”
girl: “COME ON!!! Thirty dollars is nothing! You spend that much every-time you have whiskey! What’s that… three shots at the bar?!?!”
father: (now sounding indignant) “We are going…”
girl: “Where to? The bar?”
father: “Shut up.”

I was there, btw, to place a pre-order on Chaos Field (another Dreamcast shooter that’s being released for the GameCube). I know, I know… pre-ordering at Gamestops and EBs is a waste of time and money, and I hate supporting such a shoddy and at times underhanded retail entity, but I already know that such an under the radar game will be impossible to find amid all the big holiday releases, so I figured that I’d save myself the headache and just deal with the devil. It was supposed to come out next Tuesday, but the clerk informed me that it’s been pushed to November. And for whatever retarded reason, his computer wouldn’t allow me to make on. Fucking Gamestop… the one time where I actually want to pre-order, I can’t.

A few minutes later, on my way to meet MK at Forbidden Planet, a guy came up to me on the street trying to sell me his rap CD…

rapper: “You gotta check this joint out…”
me: “No thanks.”
rapper: “Don’t you like hip-hop?”
me: “No.”
rapper: “Come on man, you gotta check out tracks 3 & 6, I’m rapping with Busta!”
me: “You’re friends with Busta Rhymes? Whatever…”
rapper: “Fuck you bitch!”

Mind you, I didn’t say that last part directly at him, but under my breath. I had no idea he was still following me… but that’s my main problem. I never realize that the shit I say under my breath is still fairly audible. Plus, I always try my best to be a funny wise-ass, but 99% of the time it just comes out wrong.

Which reminds me of another conversation from earlier in the weekend at the clam ‘n jam. I was standing by the bonfire when Curly Joe comes up to me. Curly Joe is this surly character, who sorta looks like Bruce, but only bigger. He was with one of the bands and my first exchange with him happened at the grill as he was serving ribs and sausages. I had a bit too much lemon Italian ice and rum swishing around in my stomach and wanted some food to help calm things, and didn’t realize that he was cooking for the band only. But he gave me some kielbasa, along with the warning “Don’t tell anyone I gave you this, or you’re dead” Really nice guy.

Anyway, later as I was warming myself by the raging fire, Curly Joe comes up to me (keep in mind that this dude looks just like, and is built like, the strong man at a circus, with a huge bald head, mustache, a huge frame, about 6’5 tall, piercing eyes, and a booming voice) and says…

Curly Joe: “You. I want you to come to our table and have pork with us.”
me: “Gee, no thanks. But I appreciate the offer.”
Curly Joe: (sounding rather insulted) “Why?”
me: “I’ve just had so much to eat! I just don’t think I can handle anymore, but thanks again friend.”
Curly Joe: “Friend?! (now sounding totally pissed) I really don’t think you were being sincere when you said that! In fact, you’re just some snot-nosed trendy New Yorker with trendy $200 framed glasses who’s just too cool for school, huh? Huh? HUH?!?!”

At this point he’s screaming, and everyone’s watching us. While he just seemed like a guy having a fun time by fucking with me, you can never be certain, especially when someone’s drunk. Perhaps he really was mad. Maybe enough to throw me into the fire. Before continuing, he takes out his two front teeth which are a mouthpiece, then gets in my face to go…

Curly Joe: “WHAT OF IT?!?!?!”
me: “Umm… they’re actually $500 frames.”

With that, everyone either laughed or went “Holy shit!” Then Curly Joe grows and goes storming off. Again, nice guy! Seriously. And on a side note, Robin mentioned how on Sunday night, him and Jenny Gonzalez came across a homeless person asking for money, and Robin wondered what I would say in such a situation.

Anyhow, back to last night… MK & I ended up seeing the Corpse Bride, and from top to bottom, it was excellent.

As for today, Steve passed along info regarding this super hot shirt. And I of course, I’m getting it since, you know, I go all gay for Transformers…

Plus an import copy of P.N. 03 arrived in the mail today. The game was sent in by someone from the Insert Credit forums that wanted to get rid of it and decided to give it to me just because he thinks I’m a nice guy. What a fellow! Now that I have two import Dreamcast games (Mr Driller Drill Land being the first one), with others I’ve been eyeing on for a while now, I may as well break down and get my GameCube modded.

I’m at work right now (and am staying late because I came in late to have breakfast with MK), so hopefully when I get home, that weird book of medial maladies from the 50′s (or was it the 60′s) that Katie found and sent to me will be waiting.

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10/11/2005

Think Of The Children

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

I forgot to mention yesterday the one big piece of gaming news that went down in California: on Friday Governor Schwarzenegger signed a new bill that prohibits the sale or rental of violent video games to those under the age of 18. Those who break this new law will face penalties that include a $1,000 fine.

Now on the surface, such a law sounds like a terrific idea. And I guess it is…. if you’re the type of parent who wishes to further distance themselves with the act of parenting, and instead place such judgment calls into the hands of the government, and in this case, the cashier at Target. But anyone who takes a closer look (which, as well all know, is something no one does these days) will see how fucking insane this new bill truly.

First off, here’s the bill in its entirety. Take your time to read it, and let it sink in how incredibly vague and unsubstantiated much of what is stated. Its no wonder that many feel that this could have a “chilling effect” on free speech.

Now let’s take a closer look at two specific parts. Here’s the first…

SECTION 1. The Legislature finds and declares all of the following:
(a) Exposing minors to depictions of violence in video games,
including sexual and heinous violence, makes those minors more likely
to experience feelings of aggression, to experience a reduction of
activity in the frontal lobes of the brain, and to exhibit violent
antisocial or aggressive behavior.
(b) Even minors who do not commit acts of violence suffer
psychological harm from prolonged exposure to violent video games.
(c) The state has a compelling interest in preventing violent,
aggressive, and antisocial behavior, and in preventing psychological
or neurological harm to minors who play violent video games.

1746. For purposes of this title, the following definitions shall
apply:
(a) “Minor” means any natural person who is under 18 years of age

… First off, where in the hell did the authors of this bill drudge up such bullshit scientific facts? Violent games causes a decrease in frontal lobe activity and has harmful psychological and neurological effects which directly causes a person to become aggressive and antisocial? Seriously, what the fuck.

But furthermore, video games are now basically being lumped together with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. And yes, I too have made the connection that one can sell all of Arnold’s ultra violent movies to a person under 18 without facing fine, but selling a violent video game to the same underage individual will incur the $1,000 fine, much like cigarettes or something physically harmful or dangerous.

It would be one thing all forms of media, such as movies, books, and music, were applicable, but its just games being singled out here, or at least violent ones. But what how exactly are violent video games defined? Well take a look at the following, and pay close attention to the very last part…

(d) (1) “Violent video game” means a video game in which the range
of options available to a player includes killing, maiming,
dismembering, or sexually assaulting an image of a human being, if
those acts are depicted in the game in a manner that does either of
the following:
(A) Comes within all of the following descriptions:
(i) A reasonable person, considering the game as a whole, would
find appeals to a deviant or morbid interest of minors.
(ii) It is patently offensive to prevailing standards in the
community as to what is suitable for minors.
(iii) It causes the game, as a whole, to lack serious literary,
artistic, political, or scientific value for minors.

This last part is simply insane, and so open for interpretation, specifically those with agendas that wish to dictate what the rest of the public should be seeing, hearing, or reading, that its almost scary.

Now let me just state for the record that no kid should be playing violent games, obviously. And I’m all for enforcing a ratings system, but this bill doesn’t do that. Instead of supporting a guideline to help parents, which is what the current ESRB ratings system does, it simply creates a whole new classification for the state of California that’s backed by a set of completely arbitrary set of rules and standards, who which can be used to label almost any game “dangerous” to minors. On the creative side, many game creators will have to constantly second-guess themselves in an effort to avoid the dreaded 18 or over label. But on the other side of the fence, this will finally give those who use violent games as a scapegoat for all of society’s ills with the means they’ve been looking for to go after whatever game they wish, leading to not only lawsuits galore, but a cheap means for politicians to look “concerned”. Take a look at Schwarzenegger for example, who has the been the target of a smear campaign from the teacher’s union, which has labeled him as man that “took two billion away from our kids” and “now refuses to pay it back”. He’s been suffering in the polls and desperately needs a way to look concerned for the children.

Though ultimately, its all just utterly pointless; kids are going to get their hands on violent games, no matter what. Some will undoubtedly feel that parents need all the help they can get when it comes to handling subversive material that comes their children’s way, but in the end, the key isn’t legislation but education. Plus its not as if there aren’t means out there to help educate parents as to what their kids are playing. But unfortunately, many simply ignore the existing ratings that are both on the front and the back of the boxes, which are plain as day might I add. And I’ve also spoken to plenty of folks who work at game stores who tell me that parents either still don’t notice them or just don’t care. If parents simply sat down with their kids and talked to them about violence, that would do wonders.

And this isn’t entirely unexpected. Movies were also demonized back in the days, as was rock and roll, and of course comic books. Anyway, if politicians really want to make a difference, they should do what Unicef did and bomb the Smurfs.
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Elsewhere in the news, there’s not much happening. I don’t mean to talk about the Xbox 360 all the time, but its somewhat hard not to given all the ridiculous pre-lauch hype thats happening. Its actually quite humorous since MS is doing such a bad job of it all. Not only is watching them slowly scale back their “HD-era” initiative funny, but so are the nugget of wisdoms that plop from Allard’s mouth on an almost daily basis, such as his assertion that Halo 2 is the best game that’s ever been created.

Another reason is the less than impressive screenshots that are floating about, which are a strong contrast to what we all saw during E3 (I have to admit, I too fell for some of the hype). Hence why the following, despite being many years old, is still just as valid (its from an issue of Next Generation magazine which I’ve had for years):

One last thing, and back to politics, there’s also word that Jack Thompson, the guy who formerly hated all violent video games, now wanting to make one of his own.
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As for the real world, I hear rumors that the fire that destroyed the Aardman Animation warehouse was started by some insane Serenity fan. Plus the Venom costume in Spider Man 3 is not black but purple. Yeesh… Also, I’ve been watching all the new Director’s Label DVDs at home and am disappointed to say that they aren’t perfect. First off, I can’t understand the inconsistent quality of some of the videos. I forgot to mention that Nirvana’s Heart Shape Box on the Corbin DVD is really artifact-y. And on the Jonathan Glazer set, that awesome Levis commercial that he directed, the one where the man and the woman run through walls, has different music which just doesn’t fit.

And at work, I have a new guilty pleasure: its that time of the year where seniors who are majoring in dynamic media are auditioning actors and actresses for their thesis projects. And without fail, at least one a day has a major blow-up for some dumb reason, and it just awesome to see some nobody prima donna act all huffy, especially since many of the actresses have voices like chipmunks in the midst of puberty.

Finally, today is a special day of sorts. What’s the occasion? Why its MK and I’s one year anniversary! We’ve been seeing each other an entire year to this very day. To celebrate, there’ll be food, maybe a movie, and something special later tonight if you catch my drift… yup, some head to head Soul Calibur 2! And maybe some Tekken and Super Smash Bros.

What can I say? I’m a romantic.

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