WARNING: Some NSFW pics ahead. You’ve been warned!
Day 7: Akihabara & (getting lost in) Shinjuku
For the uninitiated… or for those who can?t tell… Akihabara, which is known as ?Electric City?, is THE place for electronics, as well as toys, anime, manga, and video games. Which means it?s the wet dream city for every gaming and animu dork on this God?s green earth, hence why it was my number one spot to check out when heading to Japan.
What I really liked about Akihabara (and I fucking LOVED it) was how it truly felt like old Times Square, before it got cleaned up and gentrified by Disney. It was all about toys and sex…
Back to the visual tour: here?s one spot that was nothing but capsule toys, from top to bottom…
And here?s that building I mentioned in my last post, with the seven stories of maid and school girl uniforms, as well as stuff from various anime…
Wacky discount electronic shops were everywhere. Here?s Crazy Eddie?s cousin Hiro…
Hey, it?s MK again!
Myself, Joe, and June decided to check out the Yodobashi Camera that was there. Naturally, the floor I wanted to check out was the video game and toy one. And as previously mentioned, the Wii was hottest thing in the country…
As was the DS. You simply couldn?t avoid ads for DS software if you tried: they were on TV, on billboards, in magazines, inside subway cars, and outside buses. I bet among movie trailers too, but since I never saw a movie, I can?t confirm that. Here?s yet another packed aisle for Nintendo software…
And a DS download station (you simply just bring your system and get demos). They actually have these in Best Buys and Gamestops, but they NEVER work.
You could find other stuff too, like classic systems (okay, knock-offs of classic systems)…
And the PSP wasn?t entirely dead. The silver PSP was actually quite nice in person.
There were plenty of actual games as well…
? Even ones based on video games! Though I have to wonder if this Super Mario board game is as good as Tetris the board game. As well as plenty of tie-in products (though these are more for the Animal Crossing anime)…
I would have gotten the thermos, but it was like $14 America. A bit too much for me.
More capsule toy machines. LOTS of them…
That dude/chick again…
Evangelion still has a pretty noticeable presence throughout Japan.
Here?s Joe and I outside a huge pachinko parlor that featured a bunch of EVA machines.
Yet another oldie but goodie…
The area was LOADED with Maid Cafes…
? Unfortunately, the original plan called for tour guides to accompany us throughout out entire trip, but that never happened. And I?d find out that without someone on-hand to speak Japanese, going to a Maid Caf? was totally pointless, since flirting was a heavy component.
But yeah, maids were hella popular…
… I?m assuming this girl was once a maid but became a pop star, which happens sometimes. Never did come across a kid sister caf?, which I hear is starting to overtake the maid ones, and I?m kinda glad.
But yeah… Akihabara sure does cater some sexually frustrated nerds…
Though not every single thing was totally pervy. You still had some nice and simple cute things here and there…
And some plain weirdness…
Some shots of the Electric City, at night…
… That there is a nine story comic store, which I would explore later on; the plan was to simply scope things out that day and come back later on in the week to venture further into whatever had caught my eye. It?s why I didn?t spend too much time on arcades, since I was with Joe and June, and I knew it would be boring for the both of.
Which is why I have a TON more pics from Akihabara coming soon… for better or worse.
Though one thing that I knew I had to check out pronto, and figured they would like to see was some super colossal, or so it was described, seven-story arcade that supposedly covered every possible genre you could think off. We spent quite a bit of time looking for it, but to no avail. At best, I simply came across a few that were six stories. When I thought I did find it, it was simply a half arcade, half costume shop, which meant games and tons of maid outfits…
If you want cat ears, they go cat ears…
And if being a maid isn?t your thing, how about… a monkey?
There was also a maid caf? on the premises…
And as expected, no pictures allowed were clearly posted. Though I managed to sneak this one shot from afar inside…
While wandering around the various aisles filled with huge stuffed Mario bad guys and maid outfits, we all heard a roar of laughter, and June wondered what it was. I explained that it was all the dudes laughing at some joke a maid probably made. Thing about the cafes is that there is no sex involved, but everything is obviously laced with a ton of sex. And from what I understand, girls who are hired to be maids have to be charming as hell. They need to spin stories, tell jokes, even play cards well and perform music. Which explains why some maids go off to become pop stars, like the one I previously pointed out. But yeah, we all heard a gaggle of dudes totally smitten by their maid.
As mentioned previously, things were hella cheap in Japan, though the price of admission to the caf? was pretty up there (like $50, and probably for just an hour), which cut some of the sting. Though for more, you have a one on one session, and those come at a huge premium. It?s hard to tell, but I managed to snap a shop of one such session, of some dude playing cards with a girl…
I guess these are some American fan maid girls/groupies?
So it wasn?t the arcade I had heard about, but they still had tons of games. Again, a whole area dedicated to shmups…
The Idolmaster was pretty popular; you manage a bunch a young girl?s singing career, which included setting up her dance routine and picking out outfits…
Oh, and here?s an animated slot machine starring Popeye…
No idea what this was for, but the illustration is pretty cute…
And here?s the Colonel…
We all had dinner at KFC. I tried my best forgetting the crappy food in America, and in large part succeeded, but I just had to try a taste of America in Japan. And as the first successful American fast food joint in that nation, it felt appropriate. Though I decided to try some Japan-only item, which was a chicken sandwich with teriyaki sauce on top and some other region sauce inside. It was good! And unfortunately the batteries in my camera decided to die while inside, because it has the wildest bathroom of the entire trip up till that point.
It was also getting kinda late at the point, and even though I was dying to explore further, all the constant walking around from that day and before was somewhat taking its toll, plus Joe and June were really tired, so we decided to head home. And…
We got lost. The problem was, at night, Shinjuku and the rest of the Tokyo really, is a totally different beast. We though we knew we were going… we followed along the same path that got there, or so we thought. But with so many intersections and cross streets, a wrong turn was simply made, and it goes without saying that being unable to read signs was another factor.
As I believe I previously mentioned, It’s bullshit how all the travel books say that everyone in Japan knows English since its taught in high school. Kinda like how everyone learned Spanish or French in U.S. high school. Do you remember any of it? And everyone is so shy that many I tried asking didn?t want to stop and listen. And those that did couldn?t make out what I was attempting to say, despite having one of those pocket phrases books. Its not so much what you ask, its how you ask, and I just couldn?t get a hang for pronunciation.
Though what we did have were those pictures that I took earlier in the morning. They helped us get ever so slowly get closer and closer to where we needed to be, primarily the huge gorilla one and the movie theater with bowling pin up front. We?d show it to people and everyone once in a while their eyes would light up and then point towards a direction we?d follow, But every time we were close, another wrong turn would be made, and bam, lost again. We were running around like this for close to two hours, and it was pretty torturous, especially near the end, since we were in the aforementioned Yakuza town, which at point was alive and bustling.
What I would do is approach people and ask ?Speak English?? Well there was this one dapper looking dude that myself and June approached (dapper because he was some gangster, which I should have known), and when I asked if he understood English, he looked at me both coldly, with an underlying hint of annoyance? ?Yeah, I speak English? but why in the FUCK would I want to speak to you, huh?? Then June just looked at me with this expression one has when you expect them to get gutted like a fish. I forget what I said exactly, but I apologized for bothering him and slowly backed away? At that point Joe was kinda freaking out, as was I. Thankfully, another dapper looking Yakuza kid, and his girlfriend, both of whom spoke English just as well but were super friendly, and got us on the right track.
So… you?d think that was the end of my evening, right? It was close to midnight, I was dead tired, from walking around all day and night, with much of the latter being taken up by wandering around in circles, plus as was already proven, the neighborhood was sketchy. Nope… all that walking had built up an appetite, plus I had something else to do in Japan.
I forgot to mention this before, since it really wasn?t relevant till now, but the previous days while exploring Shinjuku?s electronic district, I came across a white girl walking around and decided to stop her and ask a few questions. Primarily where certain things were and how to use the trains, which she was more than helpful with. I struck a bit of a conversation with her? I believe her name was Kelly? and she explained that she was a college student from the mid-west studying foreign business abroad. After chit-chatting a bit, I decided to ask her the big questions: where are the whore?s at and do they speak English. Thankfully she believed my explanation and responded to my emails afterwards when I had additional questions about my destinations; I didn?t realize till afterwards that my ?excuse? sounded like total bullshit.
And the whole story is this, even though I once again can?t go into specifics. An associate I know writes a sex column somewhere online and he was supposed to travel to Japan to interview a prostitute. Thing was, he blew much of the money on the trip due to personal problems, so next thing you know, I had a possible ghost writing gig on my hands, one that would pay handsomely (though I guess most ghost writing gigs do), if I could simply ask a Japanese woman of the night some questions. Though I would find out from Kelly that most would more than likely know zero English since most are uneducated. And I simply assumed that most would since Americans had to be most of their client?le.
Fast-forward the next night: I was in the right place and time, so I figured what the hell, may as well give it a shot and look. But I decided to play it safe and not wander too far from my hotel. But I didn?t go too far since in no time flat, much like in Okinawa, I had a bunch of guys working for strip clubs and pimps, as well as straight-out pimps, asking if I wanted to see girls or simply fuck one. I did the whole ?Speak English?? wrap and simply said no to the ones who didn?t. First thing first was to find a dude who could understand me, in hopes of utilizing him as a translator. And believe it or not, it took no time at all to find such a person.
He didn?t look at all the like the other dudes, who were well dressed in suits. Just a grey shirt, and khakis. Had glasses, a friendly face, and kinda nerdy… somewhat soft-spoken too. And the way he did his sell was rather rhythmic and smooth? imagine some nerdy Japanese kid doing a pretty decent Snoop Dog impression:
?Hey man, you wanna suck, fuck, suck, fuck? In face, in the ass, in the face, in the pussy. Wanna fuck pussy, wanna fucky pussy, now? Wanna fuck, now, best girls, now?? Foreign man, time fuck the very best girls, now?
… Dear God I wish I had some recording device…
Anyhow, I said no thanks, but I did say that I wanted to talk. First I asked if they spoke English, and he simply replied, with a tad bit of confusion, “Uh… No.” I then explained that I was a writer looking to interview one for a story, and that maybe he wouldn?t mind being the translator, and that I had no problems paying money, as much as it would cost if I was actually going to bang a girl. He again went “Uh… No.”, but with a hint of annoyance this time, and immediately gave me a “Come on!!!” and went back to his sales pitch, but was far more aggressive…
“Come on! Time to suck, fuck, suck fuck! You’re on vacation! Right? Time to get some Japanese pussy. Right? Never gonna tell your wife, right?”
… I was confused; was he asking if I would ever tell my “wife” or was he promising me that he wouldn’t spill the beans? I?m guessing he was getting pissed because he had spent so much time talking to me, or perhaps he hadn?t scored a John all night and really needed one. But after hounding for a few more blocks, he waved me off in a rather disgusted (yet funny, to me) fashion, and was on his way.
With that part of my mission failed, I figured that I would simply get some Japanese soda and a corn dog, so I found a Lawsons, and the place was packed, with a huge gaggle of girls who looked to be Pilipino (the clubs in the area offered various types of women from other Asian lands). One really tall one, on goofy platform shoes that she could barely maneuver around in, maybe because she appeared to be drunk, and with the rest of her attire looking like what somewhat Vegas showgirl like, had unfortunately nabbed the last corndog, damnit. Which she then dropped onto the floor. Fuck! Though the weird thing is, it was the only time I saw anyone else buy one the entire time I was in the country; at a point it felt like they were there just for me!
Anyhow, I simply got a pork bun instead, which was really good, and then went back to my place (but not before running into that nerdy pimp and having to brush him off again), had my late-night dinner, and promptly crashed for the night.
