Okay, thus far, when it comes to game reviews, I’ve basically kept it short and sweet, mostly around three paragraphs. Which is also why I’ve been presenting a couple at a time for the most part. Well, I’ve finally decided to go against my long-standing belief that there’s absolutely no reason to go beyond 500 words when explaining why a particular game is good or not and will be doing the occasional slightly longer reviews when it’s warranted (after-all, I’m longwinded when talking about pretty much everything else). Plus, I wouldn’t put the same constraints on my contributors either. Speaking of which, Katie finally finished Mirror’s Edge and is putting the final touches on her review, which everyone can expect sometime tomorrow. Till then…
Review: Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (Xbox 360)
You know, I used to be a pretty big fan of Mortal Kombat. This was like years ago, back in my high school days. Pretty much everyone agrees that MK2 was the best in the series, but my favorite was easily MK3, due to the supremely ridiculous characters and story, as well as the wacky, over the top moves. Never mind that I couldn’t barely pull any of them off, and how the underlying mechanic wasn’t very good (it’s predecessor, to be honest, isn’t that much better), I was simply content, for whatever bizarre reason, to pop in a few quarters at least once per trip to the arcade and get as far as I could, which in my case was at best the first super cheap mid-boss.
Many years have since passed, and the world of fighting games is now vastly different. Yet some things never change, and Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, the latest chapter in the MK saga (which came out just today actually) is to a great degree that same exact game that I, along with a good number of other folks genuinely enjoyed at one point, back in the day. But that was before Street Fighter 3 or Virtua Fighter 5 or numerous other titles that advanced the genre to a whole new level, back before MK’s shoddy and questionable gameplay simply got by on charm alone. Everything you knew and either hated about Mortal Kombat, or did you best to not let it get to you, is back. Though the shift to 3D has made certain things even worse; apologizes for not keeping up with the series after Ultimate MK3, but there was a point where the character designs got even too bad for me.
The insufferably hard difficulty level, not because it’s some complex animal that drives you become its master but just a tell-tale sign that the designers are either uncreative or simply lazy, as well as a means to cover up a host of other issues, is once again in effect. Mortal Kombat has long in my mind been the Mario Kart of fighters; if you’re doing well and your opponent has just a smidgen of life left (sometimes there appears to be literally nothing remaining in their health bar), he or she will all of sudden mount an insane comeback, throwing at you about a thousand unblock-able special moves all at once. The not at all fluid controls have also returned; I’m not saying that every fighting game needs to control like Street Fighter, far from it. But MK’s control scheme has never felt natural, and now it’s worse than ever; not to say the supers in SF or KOF are the most sensible things ever devised either, but please find me the person that can actually pull off a Fatality by simply experimenting or messing around and didn’t have to consult some kind of game guide.
Though it’s the abhorrent hit detection that takes the cake and totally breaks the game; I love it whenever I jump over and past my foe (for this example, I’m going to use Sonya Blade), and sometimes when he or she does a certain move (in this particular case, it’s her diagonal upwards bicycle kick), because a tiny bit of contact is actually made, let’s say, the very end of foot, my character’s entire body will then awkward shift into position so the corresponding animation will take place. I also loved during the super tense boss battles (as it’s been since MK1, they’re insanely cheap; each move you dish only registers about 25% the normal amount of damage, whereas each boss blow takes twice or even three times as much as they should), I would be right in position to deliver that uppercut that will finally end the fight and… nothing happens. Despite there being obvious, visual contact. Then you hit punch again, and this time it connects. Cuz the game finally felt like it, I guess?
That’s just the gameplay, what about… The graphics are a total eye-sore; I can appreciate the designers wanting to go for a particular mood or something, hence why everything is so gray and drab, but since it’s sharing equal billing with a comic book cast, you’d think at least half of the game would be somewhat colorful. Then again, DC comics, at least the super hero stuff, has never been know for their stellar art (IMHO). Every character is ugly, primarily when it comes to the faces, though the female characters have it the absolute worst; they’re depicted so poorly, primarily when it comes to the insanely gigantic breasts, that it makes one wonder… not if the artists have ever had any contact with the opposite sex, but if they simply flat out hate women, period.
The audio isn’t much better; the same damn soundtrack from all those other Mortal Kombats are back. Believe it or not, music in a fighting game can be catchy (see: Third Strike and the Tekken series) and the characters say the dumbest of things, even for the genre. Why in the hell does Scorpion yell “FIGHT!” right before a match when the announcer is just gonna say it himself? Don’t even get me started on how everything that begins with the letter C has to have K instead; it was cute at best back in the 90s, but now it’s just not funny anymore.
Still… I can’t totally hate the game, even though I kinda wish I could. Why? Simple: the story mode. Many have wondered why in the hell is there a narrative in the first place (there wasn’t one in Marvel vs Capcom, and everything was just fine, splendid in fact). And quite a few have questioned Midway for being so proud of all the time and energy spent crafting its tale, since that same energy should have been instead directed at fixing the core gameplay. A completely valid point. But as is, it’s simply amazing, at least half of it; you can see the whole story from the points of views of assorted characters from the Mortal Kombat’ camp, or the DC Universe crew, which is where the real money is at, especially if you’re a comic book nerd, such as myself. Both are exercises in mind-bending fanfiction, but in this case, one should totally not hold it against the game. Other than the fact that it sorta cops out near the end, by going all Dragon Ball Z (again, fanfiction), the story actually kept me coming back for more, which I otherwise would not have done thanks to the aforementioned b.s. fisticuffs. It’s basically impossible for me to convey the true brilliance and awesomeness of various lines of dialogue or action sequences, but trust me when I say that there’s nothing more hilarious that seeing Batman push Liu Kang, whose been knocked out and tied to a chair, being wheeled out of a way of a lighting storm.
Easily the best and most interesting character is the Joker; his special moves and overall demeanor is just loads of fun. Some of the other faces from the DC Universe are all kinda neat, with some cool looking moves as well (pretty much everything animates beautifully… just forget how disjointed or useless all action are in actual combat), while a few, most notably Deathstroke, are pretty lame (Katie confused the guy with Spider Man, and you honestly can’t blame her). Though that’s more DC’s fault than Midway’s really, for not having nearly as cool a selection of costumed figures to choose from, as compared to the Marvel Universe. Hey, I was a Marvel Zombie as a kid, and still apparently am, so sue me. Still, even I managed to get all excited by the various match-ups that the narrative offered, such as Batman vs. Joker (especially vice versa), and actually did not mind Lex Luthor cheating like crazy while as Superman, since that’s what he’s completely in line with his personality. As for the Mortal Kombat side of things, most of the popular faces are along for the ride (with the exception of the cyborg ninjas, sadly), and I was again reminded how, even after all this time and after so many crappy games, Sub Zero is still an awesome character. His moves in MK vs. DC in particular are simply a joy to watch; again, it’s pretty depressing that everyone moves so fluidly, but just by themselves and not with each other, and certainly not via the player’s hands.
Though I’m still pretty pissed that original cast was gimped, with all those gruesome finishing moves that we all know and love being toned down, all for the sake of that T rating. Worse was how the Joker’s hilarious finisher was robbed from us in the eleventh hour (again, f’n ESRB). NEVAR FORGET. Then again, as previously stated, its not like I was going to be able to pull any of them off, so I guess it’s a moot point.
This sounds pretty messed up, but I guess its not secret that Midway is in a pretty sad state these days, and one has to believe that this game is somewhat of a make it or break it release. Well, I almost hope it does poorly… first to show them that they should have been smart and tried to kill that Goddamn engine that deserved to die years ago, but also so someone competent, such as Capcom, can scoop up the rights, that way everyone can actually control Sub Zero and Scorpion in a game that actually controls well (such as Mortal Kombat vs Street Fighter). As is, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe is the very definition of a train wreck, so much so that I can only recommend it for the laughs and nothing but. If you no longer find the MK cast captivating, nor do you dig Superman and other DC characters all that interesting, plus have far better playing fighters at your disposal, keep on moving…
UPDATE: So upon further investigation, it appears that all those Mortal Kombat games that preceded MK vs. DC (there’s been about four or so) did not in fact play just like MK2 & MK3, and apparently this latest game is supposed to be a throwback to “the good old days.” Huh? So did the way of play become so unfun that they had to go back in time, to what was broken, because it was still better in comparison? Yikes. Sorry, but even as an “homage” or simply an alternative to all the SF-influenced fighters out there, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe doesn’t do the job.
