FORT90

In this post:
1. The joys of being sick and not having health insurance.
2. For who might have missed anything during my last week at Tiny Cartridge.
3. The You Testament.
4. And Jerry Seinfeld X Gundam.

First off, greetings to all my new readers! It would seem that my two week stint at Tiny Cartridge was a rip-roaring success, one that brought in a massive influx of curiosity seekers, or those simply wanting a bit more of my overly verbose, plus way too heavy on the visuals style of blogging, which has more or less become my trademark. People always ask why I simply don’t go with more frequent/not as dense/all around easier to digest posts, and my basic response is: why? And ruin a good gimmick? Though I must admit, the change in format and structure that writing for TC brought with it has made me reconsider a few things…

Unfortunately, whenever there’s been a massive upswing in visitors, any appropriate follow-up has been usually nonexistent. At least with the advent of RSS readers, I’m hoping most have saved the link for when something does pop up. So, what’s the excuse this time? Actually, been really ill these past couple of days. The exact cause is unknown, but it all started when I ventured in the hell that is Williamsburg this past Saturday night, and I have zero problems blaming the dipsh*t hipsters that reside there for something else. At least some good did come from that evening, but I’ll get to that in just a moment.

Anyhow, since then, I’ve been more or less passed out (some of my sickness induced dreams have been totally awesome, though most have been on the so weird that it’s annoying side, mostly due to the fact that they just go and on and on, with zero pay-off in the end), and when I’m awake, severe dizziness, pounding headaches, bodyaches, and nausea has kept me at bay, unable to do anything remotely productive. It’s sad when sitting on the computer wears you out. So apologizes for anyone out there that I owe an email to. The worst part has been wondering if I’m in bad enough shape to warrant a trip to the emergency room, despite the total lack of health insurance. Thankfully, Katie found a clinic for those who are poor/uninsured like myself, which I’ll be going to tomorrow. And my appetite is slowly returning, though due to the lack of nourishment over these past couple of days, I feel super weak and wobbly. Plus my head’s still all jumbled (wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m suffering from migraines, but just a few notches below) and the sensation that I’m gonna puke at any given moment persists (with the worst part being how I only wish I could throw up, cuz then I might actually feel better, but my body won’t let me and I don’t feel like sticking my fingers down my throat, at least not yet). BTW, thanks for all the concerns and well wishes, via Facebook, email, or by phone! You know who you are.

Well, with all that in mind, gonna keep is short and sweet like before. And like last time, for the regular readers out there who might have missed any of it, highlights from my second week at Tiny Cartridge! Including…

- Proof that every boardroom meeting would be made 1000% more tolerable if puppets were involved. Also, Noby Noby Boy for the iPhone (which btw, is hella awesome, though it would seem that anyone whose using anything other than a iPhone 3GS should not bother, at least until it gets patched).

- Once again, very awesome Persona 4 fan art…

- A heads up regarding the domestic release of the KORG DS-10 Plus, though it was mostly an opportunity to profess my love for Nobuyoshi Sano, aka “Sanodg”.

- A totally hawt custom Anamanaguchi Game Boy.

- Hey, a reason for me to give a rat’s ass about Super Street Fighter 4 at long last!

- Once again, recycled material from this blog, this time centering on a favorite piece of mine from Nickelodeon Magazine (RIP).

- Yet another reason why I am depressed as hell that I will not be making it out to San Fran and the GDC this year.

- Some more Sanodg love, this time involving a KORG DS-10 supergroup, consisting of Yasunori Mistuda and a guy from The Black Mages on a “DS-tar”?

- As well as another taste of Anamanaguchi, this time an 8-bit dance track, the result of a 48 hour challenge, taken up by the drummer, who calls himself Knife City.

- I’ll be honest; I’m bummed out that my discovery of how PaRappa The Rapper figures will never happen did not generate any buzz whatsoever. Oh well.

- Space Invaders, in my neighborhood…

- What’s better than Klonoa and Katamari guest starring in a RPG? The car from Daytona USA in a fighting game, of course, duh.

- Something else that many missed the first time around, and for the ladies out there. Primarily those that love fashion, and Pokemon.

- Of all my updates, I’m perhaps the proudest of of the following, because I managed to combine an old (yet super cute) PSone ad, a Daily Radar shout-out, a mention of Rez, both Raina Lee’s zine plus her love for Typing Of The Dead, and with the grand return of Meat Bun in just one single post!

- Finally, an ultimately self-indulgent look at my personal collection of video game related curiosities, which I still hope is of potential interest to the rest of the world…

… I simply cannot reiterate enough how much fun it was guest blogging, even when I got several complaints that my posts were “not tiny enough”! On the flip side, being told that I was “[a giant] in the niche game blogging scene” who “should be respected, if not feared” by Eric is like the nicest compliment one could ever hope to receive. Perhaps even more so than being called the Harvey Pekar of video game journalism!

Meanwhile, and elsewhere, if I had to pick and choose just one Heavy dot come post to highlight, it would have to be my spotlight on the genius that is Mat Dickie, who dares to tell the greatest story every told, via the greatest game you’ve never played, at least not yet. It’s no exaggeration; the video that illustrates my point is quite easily the most insane thing ever, guaranteed.

Back to Saturday night, despite all the annoying hipster scum and flat out douchebags I had to deal with on the train, and on the bus, and on the streets (long story short, went out to Dave Mauro’s to play some games, but since the G train wasn’t running, the only way to Greenpoint was to take the L to Williamsburg and then a bus; there were also a**holes at the bar as well, but this was in Greenpoint, around the corner from Dave’s, in which my seat was stolen by some uptight and entitled pregnant women… again, a pregnant woman at a bar), much fun was still had that evening, mostly due to The You Testament, which myself, Dave, and Joe Salina all took turns playing. Joe could not stop lamenting out loud what a horrible game it was, whereas Dave could not stop exclaiming how awesome it was.

It’s actually become an obsession of Katie’s, who simply cannot stop watching assorted YouTube videos of the game in motion, plus it’s a regular discussion point with Pat, who has been playing the game for days now, ever since he first caught my initial report. And via the forums comes dmauro’s epic post on the subject; I sorta prefer his first character’s name, Adult Baby, but Judas Priest is equally fine…

So yeah, for you new folks out there, I also have a message board. Truth to be told, it’s not the biggest, nor the most active online community you’ll find. It’s simply a place for me and some of my friends, so at the very least, no one?s a jerk or anything like that. It’s also where you’re going to find…

… I’ll pass on highlights from the other popular thread on the forum, the awesome random videos one, for the time being. But one last thing! Also just updated the Life Meter blog, and the latest entry is all about Lamar…

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In this post:
1. Highlights from The 107th Annual American International Toy Fair, part two.

First off, for those who might have missed it, be sure to check out part one!

So Toy Fair is a place where intellectual properties, both old and new, show their faces in order to get action figures, jigsaw puzzles, beach towels, and every in-between produced. One franchise that had lots of attention was Toy Story, with part 3 rapidly approaching…

… As someone who could give a rat’s ass about Pixar these days (I should perhaps explain myself one of these days, even though its guaranteed to needlessly ruffle features), I’m genuinely intrigued and even excited for it!

Meanwhile, one booth had the Delorean from Back To The Future…

… Inside were a bunch of props from the movie, or very close facsimiles (obviously, there’s hover board from above, but you had a number of smaller items, though I can’t remember of the sports almanac was included). The funny thing was, I looked all over the booth for some tie in product and couldn’t find jack. The closest was some Ghostbusters card game.

When compared to completely absurd and totally pathetic cashing in on the KISS name that is their official coffin, the Mister Potato Heads set is extremely tame in comparison…

… Note: I’d be far more upset if their music was any good (aside from that one track on the Bill & Ted Bogus Journey soundtrack, but that’s it).

Hey, look, it’s Owly, by my pal Andy Runton! It’s not breakfast sausage (old inside joke), but still cool nonetheless…

I for one applaud the convergence of Star Trek and the world of designer toys…

And I absolutely love the color scheme of this work in progress Iron Man (since I was such a big fan of the Silver Centurion armor from the 80s)…

Saw plenty of Where The Wild Things Are related goods all over the place as well…

It’s hard to make out, I know, but check out this wide assortment of Metal Gear Solid related items, including some Kubricks, a variant of that Big Boss statue I first passed along here, and some regular old action figures…

Not surprisingly, a slew of BioShock merchandise is on the way…

Gears Of War anyone?

It’s amazing how close these Street Fighter 4 toys are to their virtual counterparts. Meaning, they’re just as ugly…

I thought the following was that same Mario Kart in the flesh I also previously highlighted, but after double-checking, it’s from somebody else…

I’m honestly shocked that people still care about bobbleheads…

This Optimus Prime statue from Diamond Select was actually very nice, too bad they but it far and away from light, hence why the picture is especially crappy here…

… Though I much prefer the PowerMaster Optimus Prime, since that design hardly gets any love, and is severely underrated…

Moving onto DC Direct’s neck of the woods, they had all sorts of action figures and dolls related to the DC Universe, obviously. I’m sorry, but I’m still such a sucker for the Kingdom Come version of Superman…

… Isn’t he coming back in some form of fashion? Sorry, but I’m way out of the loop when it comes to super hero comics these days. Anyhow, and somewhat on the flip-side, check out these anime-ized versions of other characters…

… I actually dig Wonder Woman, but that Batman? lol. Meanwhile, these are certainly cute, but try a little too hard, if you catch my drift…

DC Direct also produces game related goods, like these Mass Effect figures…

Again, not the biggest Halo fan in the world, so I must ask: since when were samurai swords part of the game?

Even though I don’t particularly dig Ratchet and Clank, these figures are simply a sight to behold…

And these Resistance states are what they are, nothing more, nothing less…

Check out Sweet Tooth and that chick from Heavenly Sword, for an upcoming line that highlights various characters from assorted first party Sony titles…

… Not shown are some God Of War characters, which are also part of Sony, but will be getting its own dedicated line. Though I wasn’t allowed to take pictures, along with the StarCraft 2 figures that were also on-hand, and which are not part of Sony but Blizzard (obviously). DC Direct also produces a line of World of Warcraft figures, which I neglected to take any pictures of. Maybe because I don’t like WoW?

But back to Sony and their line of random first party faces; when I asked the DC Direct representative if PaRappa the Rapper would ever make an appearance, he somewhat rolled his eyes and gave an “ummm… no” with a semi-annoyed chuckle. Apparently, they’ve gotten requests to produce a line of PaRappa figures for quite some time now, from both consumers and even Sony themselves. And each time, they’ve complete shot such suggestions down. The reason? Not worth the time, effort, and most importantly, money. I was explained that they need to sell at least 8,000 units of whatever character to justify the associated expenses, like hiring the artist behind the design, the production molds that will physically create the figures, the packaging, all that stuff. It’s simply “way too niche” and how the customer base, no matter how vocal, is seemingly nonexistent when it comes to the cash register. He referred to the aforementioned girl from Heavenly Sword as an example; even if no one recognizes the game, it’s still gonna sell cuz it’s statue of a hot chick, period.

You know, sucks to hear, since I would snatch up PaRappa and all his buddies in plastic form in a heartbeat, but I guess he has a point. I did try asking about some kind of limited edition deal, since they’re already getting involved in the world of custom/designer toys (as evidenced by the aforementioned super deformed DC characters), which is all about limited runs, but again, they clearly want nothing to do with the rapping dog. The notion that it would be a money-losing proposition was explained to me at length. Oh well. Point being, Sony, time to call some other folks if it’s ever gonna happen… And I can imagine more than a few parties who would be TOTALLY up for the task.

And I guess that’s it for my report! In the end, wasn’t able to spend a whole lot of time at the show I’m afraid, due to an extremely hectic schedule. Had to more or less completely bypass the board game section, and that totally blew. Though I’m mostly saddened by how I totally missed Will Wright speak.

Anyhow, what the next stop? GDC, right? Not exactly; might have to pass this year, despite the fact that I’ve got a press pass burning in my pocket and the inside track on so many cool things happening this year. Also, was really looking forward to a San Fran burrito. Guess I’ll explain why plans have changed next time, but till then… If you’re an editor and you need someone to cover the event, who once again knows what is up and also has an eye and a nose for untapped gold, plus can budget a cheap trip like no one else (which makes passing all the more painful, since I managed to figure a week in San Fran for almost nothing), please drop me a line!!! The best method is always matt at fort90 dot com.

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