02/22/2005

It’s Time…

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

So it happened again this morning: from out of nowhere the water turned molten lava hot while taking a shower and I was seriously almost burned alive. This time I was able to react quickly enough, but I wasn’t so lucky perviously, which was actually one year ago this month. I panicked and slipped in the tub, with the side of my head smashing into the side (my tub is the kind from the 30′s thats separate from the wall and has legs, plus the bottom area is extremely shallow, making it very hard to get a good foothold normally). So when I fell, it caused the tub to move away from the wall, and the tiles that were in place to direct the water into the tub and not on the floor broke off.

Precise memories immediately afterwards are vague: I recall flopping like a fish why lying at the bottom (the water was still searing), awkwardly stumbling out of the tub, and feeling extremely ill, my head throbbing and feeling dizzier than every before in my life, hence why I think I might have had a concussion. When I made it to my bed, I recall my leg feeling very hot; I has assumed was my skin due to it being burnt, but I was surprised to find out it was blood which was freely flowing. One of those tiles that had broke made a nasty cut in my right leg.

Anyway, you’d think that would be enough of a sign to get the fuck out, right? I had been at the apartment for less than a month at that point, so I had yet to be fully exposed to the disgusting living conditions which are now almost legendary. So you’d think this morning would be another reminder again, right? Wrong.

Because I found out last night that I really do have to move out. When I noticed recently that the wife was pregnant, I knew even more headaches would be on the way. So I have just been told that the husband’s mother is moving in to help raise the child, meaning I have to make way and move.

If I actually enjoyed living where I do, I guess I’d be pissed, but in a small way I’m somewhat relieved to have an actual reason to find a new place. Other than the NYC public access and free high speed internet, I really cannot stand where I live. Yes, being in Manhattan is extremely convenient (and it’s easy on MK as well) but to be totally honest, my 30 from door to door commute to work has made me lazy, which as resulted me in coming to work over an hour late on a regular basis.

Though the main reason why I have stayed where I am is because I hate moving. It’s just such a toll, both emotionally and financially. Plus now more than ever, I just don’t have the time. Which is why I’m starting super early in hopes of not have to do decided at the which potential roommate is the least insane (and I’ve had a pretty poor record as of late).

So if you know you or anybody you know who’s nice and sane needs a roommate by April, please let me know. Personally, I’d be thrilled to have myself as a roommate because…

… I’m quite friendly and easy going. Serioulsy. And for those time I’m not in a good mood, I make damn sure to keep it to myself and to not let it spill over to other, unrelated things. If I have a bad day at work, I’m not going to scream at someone out of the blue for forgetting to buy toilet paper. Though if something is up, I’m not passive aggressive either, I can’t stand that shit. Which leads to…

… if there’s a problem, I like to actually talk things out, and without a hint of attitude or sarcasm.

… I’m a clean guy who looks after himself. I’m not a Nazi about it, but I make sure to clean up after myself and that the common area is devoid of my crap.

… I’m not a total sociopath. I want a cool roommate, but I’m not looking for a best buddy; I have plenty of friends, plus a girlfriend (who by the way is totally nice and normal and is not going to cause a stupid scene that will make everyone’s life a living hell).

… I can pay the bills on time.

… I’m practically never home anyway.

I guess the race is on.

- In other news, I’m almost done with the first Sandman collection and am really digging it thus far. I said I was going to try and get more serious about comics this year, so that means really tacking my backlog of stuff acquired at cons (which actually dates back to the first MoCCA). I still wish I had more time to actually draw, but I’m not bullshitting this time when I say I really don’t have time!

Plus I’ve made a new comic book friend. Her name is Rana and she’s studying cartooning in Minnesota. She IMed me out of the blue when she thought I was a colleague and asked how “my pages” were coming along, and not realizing the confusion, I assumed that she was talking about my submission to True Porn 2 (which like I said before, will not be appearing in it). But we got the chance to chat about “the scene”, both the negatives and positives. She was originally referred to me by Dave a whiles back as he was first getting into LiveJournal, and then I noticed shortly afterwards that she has some affiliation with the insert credit circle, which further shows that the world of comics and video games, which are both by themselves very small, are starting to merge.

Back to True Porn 2 real quick, Robin gave me a sneak peak at his collaboration with Katie, and I was totally floored. I fell in love with her work earlier this year and I have feeling that everyone else will finally do so as well when they see it. Robin said it best: “That girl is gonna be a star.”

And real quick, some game related stuff…

- Nintendo has a new media player called the Play Yan which lets the DS run music and movies, and starting today they’re offering a line downloadable games called “Garage Games”. You download them onto SD cards via a PC.

The first game is called Inset and there will be twelve in total (its been said a special thirteenth game will be available only to Club Mario members). For more info, check out the Garage Games site.

I haven’t seen any screen shots, but from the site, as well as the name, I get the sense that these are really low-fi titles, which sounds pretty cool. I’d love to see Nintendo also release older Game Boy games for the system since you can’t play GB or GB Color games on the DS. But mort of all, I’ve love to see Nintendo release this in America, but we all know that’s never going to happen.

- Sony just announced that the manufacturing problem in the PSP production which has been causing problems with the square button has been fixed. Furthermore, they said it was related to excessive untrimmed resin with the unit’s molding and coating.

That’s funny, considering the president of the company said the problem was there on purpose.

- Here’s the newest web-game sensation: Nanaca Crash.

- And not to come off as some know-it-all, but I really do catch wind of almost every bit of gaming news or hijinks as soon as it hits, I just don’t report it all. ;) So it may be old to some (it certainly is to me), but for those who missed it the first time… Katamari Doh-macy and Katamari cosplay

  • Jason

    To all potential roomates: I was Matt’s first roomate (not counting his Dad, but I’m sure that would be sitcom-esque gold if they were actual roommates, it’d be like “The Odd Couple” on psycotropic drugs). Anyhoo. Yes, Matt is a faithful roommate and if you split rent with this guy, it’s worth every penny. Think of it as though you’re buying some new high-level form of entertainment, because that’s what you’ll get.

    Here’s a few hilarious happenings that come to mind:

    * Running around the apartment with a broom, banging the ceiling to quiet the rambunctious toddler on the floor above.

    * Yelling down the nose of a Russian landlord, demanding the hot water work, because “… that’s all a man want’s in America!”

    * Watching him try to fix anything. To his credit, he’s full of gumption, but not adept with tools that aren’t shaped like video game controllers.

    :)

  • https://www.fort90.com Matt

    Thanks for the kind words Jason. :)

    I’ll say this about Jason as a roommate: to his credit, he never….

    … was so lazy that instead of walking the ten or so feet to use the bathroom, he instead just peed in empty 40 oz bottles.

    … had some deadbeat friend constantly hanging out at the apartment, one that tried far too hard to be eccentric, like wearing elegant women’s gloves, and bitching about how much he hated gay people, even though he made money posing nude for a gay artist.

    … made me feel bad when I broke news that I had just gotten laid off, even though he just laid off from his brand new job for taking too much vacation time to get plastic surgery done.

    … let the stove get so fucking filthy that there’s (at least) a quarter inch thick layer of grease covering everything, which not only cannot be cleaned, but has well over a year’s worth of dead bugs and pubic hairs, all trapped like that mosquito in amber, a la Jurassic Park.

    And trust me when I say that I have even tons more crazy stories about ex-roommates.

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