So the New York Asian Film Festival 2006 is well underway and this past weekend I got to check out the first two of the nine films I’m slated to see.
THE GREAT YOKAI WAR
As a Takashi Miike diehard, I was pretty eager to see his first kids film, which has been trumped up as a Lord of The Rings-eque epic. Miike’s made a legacy for himself for his genuinely bizarre, inventive, and all around f’n crazy films, as well as his insane output (he made like nine movies in just one year if I’m not mistaken). And while I knew it was a kids film, so I wasn’t expecting to see any women lactating this time around (though i secretly was hoping for it), I had high hopes, and…
The film centers around Tadashi, a scardy-cat kid who’s folks have just divorced, so he moves out into a small rural town to live with his mom and his senile grandfather. One evening, while at a local festival, he’s chosen as the “Kirin Rider”, which is the grand guardian of peace and justice, plus it also means he has to climb up a mountain to claim his sword from the Great Goblin. Naturally, Tadashi is scared shitless about the task at hand, but he decides to prove the other kids that pick on him wrong by going on the trek anyhow, and ends up running away screaming, then gives it another shot. Along the way he meets a variety of demons, known as Yokia, that come in all shapes and sizes, and while some are creepy and scary, all are nice and friendly (including a half human-half turtle demon with a tiny dish on its head, a one eyed-long tongued umbrella, some dude in a grass skirt and blue face that can grow super huge, a talking wall, and a girl who’s the princess of the water, and the film’s token cute chick, plus an old guy who’s main shtick is that he cleans beans, among many others). Once Tadashi finally gets his hands on the sword, he’s confronted by Yomotsumono, an evil once-was-a-human-but-I-guess-he’s-now-a-demon-too that seeks to rub out humanity. Plus he goes around kidnaping nice and friendly Yokia, then drops them into some ooze, along with some form of machinery, like a motorbike, which transforms them into a mindless killing machine, to terrorize humans and act as a henchman. At the first moment of truth, the kid wimps out, the sword gets broken, most of the remaining Yokia are too chicken-shit to do anything against the treat, but troops must be rallied, the sword must be reforged, and the evil MUST BE STOPPED!!! You can imagine where it goes from there.
It must be pointed out that the Great Yokia War does a great job highlighting why virtually every American kids film today flat-out sucks, because they more or less insult children’s intelligence by playing it far too safe. This film has plenty of action and graphic violence, even some scary, creepy stuff, plus you have people (and demons) smoking and drinking beer. Basically, crap most parents these days are afraid will destroy and corrupt their frail children’s minds. As a move as a whole, its pretty good: you have a decent plot, interesting characters, even touches of humor, but its never forced. But as a Miike film, it’s a bit of a disappointment. On a scale of one to ten, its easily a eight or nine, but Miike movies are always an eleven or twelve.
Another problem, which MK especially had, was with the kid. He’s just like the pint-sizd wimp from Tetsujin-28, in the sense that its understandable when he’s a wiener in the beginning, before he gets his hands on the ability to kick-ass, but to continue acting all sheepish after he’s shredded some bad guy robot/demom hybrids was just plain annoying. Though another big reason to see the movie is for the awesome special effects. For something that was 1/10 or maybe even 1/20 the budget of just one of the LOTR films, the film easily holds its own; some of the effects are quite comparable, while others are not so, but I’d gladly take H.R. Pufnstuf-grade foamy creatures over CGI any-day.
CROMARTIE HIGH SCHOOL
Next on Sunday was the live action adaptation of the manga and anime of the same name, which I hear is a big hit (must be only in Japan, because I have yet to know anyone in America even hearing about it… actually, I do know this one Japanophile who’s a regular Mr. Naruto and he absolutely cannot stand Cromarite… on the flip-side, its pretty much one of the very few manga and anime to come out in recent months that I can even stomach).
The movie is an extremely faithful translation of the source material, which is… really difficult to describe. Long story short, it stars Kamiyama, who’s a not so bright teenager who attends a high school that’s overrun by tough-guys and juvenile delinquent, and they’re all even stupider than him. Instead of detailing the film’s “plot”, I’ll just describe the film’s end, in which Kamiyama, who has managed to form a strike-force that consists of some buddies, an old movie actor, a masked wrestler, a robot, a huge monkey, and Freddie Mercury (who is identified as Freddie Mercury-Hard Gay), must face off against a pair of super space apes and the entire student body which said space apes have transformed into Shaolin monks. Seriously, if that doesn’t sound like the greatest thing ever, then whoever you are, have no sense of humor whatsoever. Just see the damn movie for yourself.
OTHER STUFF ABOUT THE FILM FEST
So again, I know blowing $170 on move tickets, and for a single film fest, is pretty nuts, but the bottom-line is that I absolutely live for the Subway Cinema Asian Film Fest. They’ve seriously been the highlight of every summer for the past few years, and its already shaping up to be potentially the finest one yet. Though there have already been annoyances…
Basically, the people. When you go and see any major film in any random theater, you deal with knuckleheads, the kinds you come to expect, and when you go to a film festival, you have to endure with its own unique brand of idiots. In the case oif the Subway Cinema film fest, its crazy old white ladies who all seem excessively well to do and very board. They just love to talk and talk and talk, whether it be boring a staff-member to tears, or going on rambling diatribes at Q & A’s (which I haven’t had to bear witness to thus far).
Then you have dopey Asian teenage girls. These are the ones that went and saw Titanic fourteen times, and cried every single time. One sat right next to MK and there was this one Yokai in the Miike flick that was small, fuzzy, and cute (imagine a hamster wearing a karate outfit). And of course, the girl instantly feel in love with the thing, and let the whole theater know, over and over and over again, with a declaration of “Awwww!!!!! That’s SO cute!!!” It was okay the first time, but after the thirtieth time, I just wanted to scream (I’m surprised that MK didn’t punch her the mouth… that would have been sweet).
But on the brighter side, it sure is nice to see Grady Hendrix, the brains and emcee behind Subway Cinema, working his magic once again. He has this magical ability to make everything sound mind-blowingly awesome, and if there’s giving out prizes to the audience, even if they’re totally lame, Grady makes it an event that cannot be missed (though I too am excited about the possibility of winning one of the mega-prizes, a framed poster to the flick Black Hooker). He was even able to lessen the blow of the Ski Jumping Pairs short not showing before Cromarite as advertised, and hyping in its place a racist McDonald’s commercial.
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Otherwise, not much else to speak of from the weekend. MK & I wanted to just chill and relax, after the busy, hustle-bustle that was the previous weekend, and we did. Finally watched some of the Venture Brothers DVD, and I also showed her the final two episodes of the second season of Millennium. Originally to be funny, I wanted her to see it before we BBQed some chicken, since the bird flu is a major component of the show (once again, it was WAY ahead of its time), but we didn’t, and that was probably a good thing (especially going by her reaction to the dinner scene where every exsanguinated to death, meaning they couldn’t stop sweating blood).
Also on Friday I did some “field investigation” after work, which meant double-checking various things for my video gaming in NYC piece for GSW, and that meant checking out assorted game stores and arcades in Manhattan. I know I promised Simon I would have the piece done last night, but I accidentally forgot to bring all the work I did yesterday home, and since I’m going to be busy getting ready to teach tonight, it will have to wait a bit longer. Anyway, based on a lead from someone at Insert Credit, I finally got the check out the super secret arcade in Chinatown, the existence of which I was somewhat doubtful of since the same person claimed that Senko No Rondo was at Chinatown Fair a whiles back, and that turned out to be bullshit.
But not this time, and I finally got to check King of Fighter XI in action, and it is indeed nice. The real funny thing is when I first got there, I noticed the two player Initial D set-up and there was Chinese kid sitting in the player one seat, reading a manga. After checking out KOF XI, I decided to give Initial D a try before leaving, and the kid was still there, still reading comics. I had assumed that all he does all day is just sit and there and wait for challengers, for him to waste, but he simply sat and read while I had my playthrough.
And on Sunday night, MK & I got to check out Robin’s new pad, which is quite nice. It’s sorta like my place, in the sense that there’s plenty of space, except there’s no fucking cat fur all over (and no stench of cat shit in the air either… sorry, but its hot out, and that’s when the pets really get to me). He mentioned how he caught the new ECW show on the Sci Fi network (of all fucking things) and how the hardcore wrestling icon, the Sandman, had to fight a zombie. According to the wrasslin’ dirt sheets that Robin still reads up on (I used to, but I just don’t have the time), the original opponent was supposed to be from outer space (they’re on the Sci Fi after-all), but the network executives weren’t too keen on the idea of an alien getting beaten up.
Since I’m on the topic of YouTube, here’s a some recent favorites, including a program in Japan that booth teaches how to stay fit and speak Enlgish and further proof why MTV back in 80′s was so much cooler than it is today.
