07/20/2004

Hand Jobs and Pure Gay Evil

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Ever since I went and saw “NeoTokyo Girl Crush”, I’ve developed a renewed interest in the UCB. It just seems wrong that I’ve been living in Manhattan for six months now (on the 1/9 line no less!) and yet I haven’t been to the theatre a million times by now.

So with that in mind, I am now attempting to see at least one show a week. First up was last night’s “Full Metal Jackie”, starring Jackie Clake, who’s not only a comedic genius in my eyes, but happens to be one of the seven women I’m currently in love with (though she hasn’t lost her slot in the rotation for a few years now, which is saying something). I’ve seen her countless times in other shows, mostly alongside her troupe Respecto Montalban (easily the funniest group in the UCB for years running) but this was my first chance to see her in a one person piece. So once I caught wind of Full Metal Jackie, I knew I had to go, especially since I had missed her last one, Big Vagina Monologues/Mail Order Family, which was critically acclaimed.

It was all about her “second puberty” in which she did her best to shed her goody-goody image by moving to a no name, piece of shit town, snorting mountains of cocaine, and hooking up with a borderline retarded short order cook at the same seafood house where she was a waitress. That and giving out hand jobs. As expected, Jackie was funny, but in a more personal, introspective way, which she really couldn’t be before, since she’s usually playing two new characters every five minutes, or just four characters throughout, the course of an average Respecto show.

Her show was double billed with another performer. His name was John Flynn and the show was “Themepark Superstar”. It’s all about his first job as a singer/dancer at Hersey Park, and all the creepy theme park groupies, orgies in parking lots, and the dream Madonna medley that ensued. I had never seen Flynn before and didn’t know what to expect, but he was fucking hilarious and the crowds was totally blown away by the end.

Also, I picked up the full schedule for the upcoming Del Close Marathon. For six years now, the UCB has been running a massive improv marathon, which starts on a Friday evening and goes non stop till that following Sunday at midnight, all to pay tribute to one of the most influential forces behind comedy, Del Close. I’ve been meaning to go for forever, and now, more than ever, feels like the right time to sit through 55 straight hours of improv (or at least try). There’s an impressive line up of old favorites like Ms. Jackson and Possible Side Effects, and a whole bunch of others whom I’ve never heard before (and quite a few coming from all parts of the country). Plus ASSWARM, which is a combination of members from the Swarm and the actual Upright Citizens Brigade sound intriguing, and I always wanted to see Real Real World (another show I missed), even if it’s six in the morning. At the very least, I have to find out what the hell Robot TV is all about.

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