This weekend was easily one of the nicest weather-wise in a very long time, which made the return trip to Coney Island all the more enjoyable.
Saturday was Circus Day at Coney Island’s Astroland Park, which meant clowns, guys on stilts, and that slightly annoying bearded woman who’s been interviewed in practically every single documentary about Coney Island ever made, all over the place to entertain the kiddies. Unlike the Siren Fest from a few weeks back, this was more or less a family oriented affair, meaning no huge crowds of annoying Williamsburg kids, which translated to a far more relaxed and lighthearted vibe all throughout. But there was still a stage, and music on-hand; Vic Thrill, who my friends and I are huge fans of, was scheduled to perform at Siren, but had to cancel due to a freak downpour. So we made it a mission to check him out this time around. But before that was Li’L G N’ R, an all kids Guns N’ Roses tribute band…
I have to admit, it was pretty cute (especially Li’ L Slash who simply leans back with his guitar during a solo…. simple, yet effective), but the novelty of a bunch of 10 year olds jumping up and down with fake guitars and belting classic G N’ R tunes was only about three songs long. They started out with “Welcome to the Jungle” and then went to “Sweet Child O’ Mine” (of course). But just as we all thought they were going to end things on a high note with “Paradise City,” they did “November Rain,” which was a poor choice for a number of reasons (hey I love the song, but an almost 9 minute power ballad for a bunch of absent minded prepubescents is a bad idea). It’s at this point, the whole thing started to really fall apart: Li’ L Slash was wondering aimlessly, Li ‘L Duff looked totally out of it (which now that I think about it, is pretty accurate from what I recall of the real Duff onstage) and when it finally came time to sing the last song, which was Paradise City of course, Li’L Izzy had stopped carrying her guitar and Li’l Axel was totally missing all of her cues.
Just off stage was a bunch of Russian prepubescent gymnasts who found the music intolerable and all covered their ears. They went on next and were pretty impressive, with all the juggling and balancing on huge rubber balls they did. You know what they say about Russian girls…. well one was only 11 or 12 and she was already sporting rather hairy underarms (on a related noted, I think one of the funniest things a female Russian coworker told me is that the reason why she doesn’t want to get married is cuz that’s when all Russian women grow hunched shoulders and mustaches… remember, this from the mouth of an uber Russian hottie and not some ignorant American male pig, so there ya go). There were also these two girls in their early (maybe pre) teens who simply stood in place and twirled batons to “We Will Rock You”, but weren’t very good; they dropped their batons a few times, their choreographed routines were way out of sync, and it was overall a pretty laughable, and sad, display. Later I caught both of them on the boardwalk smoking. I don’t know why I thought they were so young, cuz up close they were clearly in their late teens, maybe early twenties
We didn’t stick around for the other performers, which were just as bad as those two girls, but in-between each act were the “Winn’s Thrills of the Universe” who walked inside (and outside) a huge rotating wheel, high above the crowd, and also rode motorbikes within an encased steel ball, which was all pretty impressive. With time to kill before Thrill, we found one of the few clean spots on the beach and soaked in some sun and I got to check out the usual beach sights: seagulls, hot chicks in bathing suits, not so hot chicks and bathing suits, and fay guys trying to fight Capoeira style.
Once it was time for Thrill to hit the stage, we went back to the action. But once we were all front and center, something seemed odd: once again there was a mass of angst ridden Williamsburg kids. Seems that Vic was running late so the band after him… can’t recall their name… went on next. We all quickly left the crowd, got some funnel cake and hot dogs, and simply waited. It rained for exactly 30 seconds, but there was enough dark clouds to make us worried that Vic’s performance would be cancelled yet again due to unexpected shitty weather, but he did hit the stage despite being over an hour and a half late and with just a small handful of people in the audience.
The performance was simply a blast. Vic was the total antithesis of the band before him, and the same could be said about each performers’ crowd. As Vic was rocking the stage, one thing was quite clear: he was enjoying himself. Those other guys, from what I could gather, were like very other oh-so tragic hipster band, with looks of constant pain for no plausible reason. If it “hurts” so much to sing those songs, get off the fucking stage, take an Advil, and take a Goddamn nap ya pussies. Vic was even dressed for the part; he looked like a motherfuckin’ rock star; those other guys were even dressed pretentiously, in stupid matching suits. Christ, were they there to play music or cater a bar mitzvah? And then there’s the audience. Even though there was just a small handful of us (which actually grew with curiosity seekers as Vic played on) we were all loving the music and not afraid to show it. There was a good cross section of people, of different backgrounds and ages. What did the other band have? A sea of idiots all the same age, the same social background, and all wearing the same “cute” anti-Bush shirts (Yeah, Bush sucks. I get it. I hate him too. In fact, I think it’s safe to say, at least here in New York City, almost everyone hates him, so you’re preaching to the choir folks. Also, yes, he is an idiot, thanks for the news flash. Guess what, we’re in New York, Kerry is gonna win, so you can all relax now) and dripping with same type of anger anyone would get if they lived in a nice studio apartment right on Bedford Ave which mommy and daddy (rich lawyers from Long Island, of course) pays for while attending NYU, though more time and effort is spent hanging out at parties to talk about how “Friendster is so lame, and that the real action is at MySpace”, or how eating meat is so retarded, as are the people who do so (all while wearing at least two forms of leather), or how awesome mobile blogging is. But I digress…
But yeah. Vic was awesome, but due to some ridiculous time constraint, there was only time for just five songs, so he simply stuck to his standards (which includes my favorite, Hummingbird Pneumonia) so I can’t complain.
Also, Li’l G N’R is going to be at CBGB’s Gallery to go head to head in a Mini Metal Battle of the Bands against…. their “arch rivals”… Tiny Motley Crue?
EDIT: That already happened in June. Damnnit!!!
