07/29/2005

Crutch Must Wait

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

So today’s the opening day of Cybercon Expo, the first ever (as far as I know) Transformers convention in New York City. I really don’t know what to expect, though Dave was quick to point out how lame BotCon (I believe the first and most famous of the Transformers convention) looked from the footage on the Transformers DVD. And yes it did look rather boring and unexciting, but I’m hoping years later, it being 2005 with much more hype around the franchise now than every (thanks to the upcoming film, obviously) and more toys on the market, that this event will be something more eventful, or at the very least interesting. $20′s worth of interesting hopefully.

I’ve already mentioned what I’m looking for, though I also hope to come across a copy of the special live screening of Transformers the Movie that took place at one BotCon, Mystery Science Theater 3000 style. I hear that they actually got Joel Hodgson and the bots and everything! Its been on my most wanted list for years now, so if its true, this will be my best shot at getting it.

And at the very least, I hope that cute girl dressed up as Bumblebee will be present. Though I’m confident that the fat dude dressed as Optimus will most definitely be there (he manages to appear in at least one photo from every single con that takes place… he was even in Nick Mag a few years back posing with Dave and Chris Duffy).

But what’s also taking place this weekend? My high school reunion. As mentioned before, I decided to not make the trip for a variety of reasons a while ago, and while I am more or less glad happy with decision, a small part of me, the morbidly curious side, feels differently and secretly wishes I was attending. Once again, not that I need validation from folks that I didn’t know nor cared about (and vice versa), but I did go to school with a bunch of interesting character types and would love to know what happened to a few of them. Like one friend of mine who I heard, after getting laid off from his really posh job at Boeing, hit some hard times and became a pizza delivery boy… the same job he had in high school… and moved into a house with other pizza delivery boys, though they’re all still in school. Since he’s older, he’s considered the cool, father-figure type (being able to get everyone beer perhaps has a hand in that) and they even all formed a band, called… you guessed it… the Delivery Boys. I used to trade NES games with this guy! I’d love to see how he’s doing.

Plus there’s the whole “Crutch” episode, which I love telling since I get such horrified looks from friends and colleagues, one’s who thought they “knew” me better, that I couldn’t possibly act like such an asshole towards one person (and one who’s handicapped no less!). As somewhat mentioned before, I assaulted a gimp while in high school and it caused a bit of a stir (guess that’s not hard when one actively videotapes himself doing it). Plus I once stole a self-portrait he was working on, made it “humorous”, and in a t-shirt format for my friends and I to wear for him to enjoy. Then there’s the stuttering kid who tried to get on my good side by doing a copycat crime and that was a real pain getting out of that… plus a restraining order is part of the shenanigans as well. It’s a long story, but trust me, the guy really had it coming. Am I proud of my actions? Well… I got a great story out of it. One that everyone will be able to enjoy when it’s in a comic book format coming soon!

Back to now, I believe that some have been anticipating us meeting face to face once more ten years later, and that perhaps I would try to make peace or something. Hells no! Though as Steve from back home was quick to point out, anything now would be considered assault.

So anyway, when I found out that Steve, and my only other friend that I talk with and really care about back home, Ray were not going to the reunion and felt that it was also a big waste of time and money, I felt a tad bit better about my choice. But there’s always the 20 year reunion…

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