Man, what a crazy week it’s been (or just was)…
So yeah, I guess that’s pretty much it for ICON. The show just wrapped up (I’m writing this beginning part on the train back to the city), and must say that I’m kinda bummed. Though I always get a little sad whenever it comes to a close; there’s just this wind in the air, that the party is over, especially for the folks who absolutely live for the show… to them, its their only time of the year where they can openly express their love for Doctor Who or Haruhi Suzumiya to the outside world without any fear of persecution (or in some cases, fursecution). This was the first time in which I was there from the very beginning, and till the very bitter end. And it is the end in several regards; the 27th ICON, the northeast’s premiere fantasy, science fiction, and science fact (I love how people chuckle when I mention that last part) convention, which has been at Stony Brook since day one, will not be there next year. Which I was once again reminded of, as I went building to building across the campus all weekend, as I’ve done every year. And I guess I will miss that… or maybe not. One of the best things about the show is the crazy amount of stuff that’s going on, all at once, but the worst thing about it is the fact that it’s impossible to even take a proper sampling of it due to the fact that its so spread out across building, requiring a lot running around which gets pretty tiresome, as well as super annoying. But I guess I’ve grown used to it, even like it, over the past ten years that I’ve been attending ICON. I think its ten… perhaps its nine, maybe even eleven. And a lot has happened since I first tagged along Dave Roman and John Green, when they had a table there to sell Quicken Forbidden. Over time, I became a part of the show, almost a staple really, of the electronic gaming portion of the programming. And ICON has been very good for me; hell, I even got MTV coverage from my appearance last year. Which is why it made total sense to say “yes” when the offer to come aboard for the behind the scenes was extended shortly afterwards. Anyhow, the show is not going away; its moving to a new location, one which might actually improve things quite a bit. Yet I won’t know for sure since I’m probably won’t be there.
Once again, long story short, things did not go according to plan; I had all these wacky ideas for the event, and almost none of them came to fruition for a variety of reasons (except for the game design workshop that I had Scott Price from Gamelab). Which goes without saying was a huge disappointment. But at the very least, I had my big presentation that I’ve been doing for the past four years, and that’s become super popular the past two years. Unfortunately, due to be really busy, and becoming sick, and then getting laid off, as well as handling behind the scenes duties, I wasn’t nearly as prepared as I would have liked to be, plus I began to develop performance anxiety due to all the expectations I was beginning to catch wind of as the show approached. Yet, I knew I could always bullshit my way through it, if need be it. Yet when I first arrived on site and checked out the official program and noticed that I wasn’t listed… I knew that things would indeed go out on a whimper instead of a bang as feared. And I know it might seem I’m making a big deal about nothing, but the bottomline is that my ICON appearances have become pretty important promotional vehicles (again, MTV). BTW, if you’re a new reader, welcome! Anyway, in addition to not being listed in the book, which led some to believe that I wasn’t at the show, at least those who don’t know this site or the ICON website, where I was least there at least, I was put in an odd location (most of the electronic gaming programming was put in the same building… except for mine, of course), and at a really bad time (I’ve had great success at 6, which is right after the dealers room closes, so you have tons of kids looking for something to do… this time I was at 5, meaning everyone was busy getting one last hour of shopping in). In the end, instead of the 300+ people packed into a lecture hall like before, I had around 60 or so, 70 tops, which I guess isn’t bad, but still. Additionally, they didn’t have the proper adaptor for my MacBook to interface with the projector (despite numerous assurances in advance that everything would be ready), so I had to start really late and then rush through my already hastily assembled presentation, which I had literally finished putting together just an hour beforehand, meaning no chance to rehearse or practice. It was also too dark; I always rely on audience participation heavily, and it was too dark to see who was saying what, let alone my notes… Point being, it was kind of a mini disaster in my book. Still, I was able to pull something together, somewhat.
The topic of my talk was “The Anatomy of a Gamer: What Makes Them Tick… And What Makes Them Explode” (the vague title certainly didn’t help fill seats… its certainly less direct and obvious as “The Ten Best Games Ever” or the ten worst… what is really needed are descriptions in the handbook for every single panel), and the plan was to briefly cover the history of video games, then connect the various classifications of gamers that have popped up along the way, which were usually formed by the creation of games or genres thanks to technological advances as well as the times. Unfortunately, due to the aforementioned lack of time, I was not able to properly put together the ending for my presentation, at least the one I had in mind, hence the decision to present my top ten list of video game girls I’d like to have sex with, as previously listed in the forums (also because I knew I had to have some sort of a list). And it wasn’t nearly the crowd pleaser as I had banked on it to be; the main complaint was that my choices were too obscure. If there’s one thing I am constantly reminded of when speaking at ICON, it’s that a lot of folks there simply don’t know as much about games as myself, and the various circles I hang with; everyone spends much time playing games and surfing the web as I do, I’m assuming, but it would seem there’s more variety on my end. Hence why there was mostly silence and confusion, such as when I brought up Kula Diamond from King of Fighters, or the women of Jet Set Radio. Then again, there’s also the issue of how somewhat creepy it is to hear someone go on and on about the ten virtual women he desired to have intercourse with. Oh well… again, guess not everyone is so open. But for the most part, everyone seemed to enjoy what I had to say, so I guess it was a success to a certain degree, though I just know it could have been much better. Another main complaint was how folks were hoping I would make fun of more people.
As for the other topics, they was pretty much hit or miss. The ones I assumed would be fast and fun, such as “Mario vs Bubsy”, the mascot dissection and showdown, turned out to be the opposite various unexpected reasons. Worst is how those were the ones I recommended the most to friends, like Dave Mauro and his clique. Conversely, topics that I thought were going to be very by the numbers, and boring as a result, were absolutely not. With the biggest shock being the horrors of the video game store, which was less about bitching about stupid people at Gamestop but more about the current retail system which drives video game sales is hurting the industry as a whole. The flamewars and trolls panel was again nowhere near as exciting as it was two year ago; I guess it really did peak with the angry Battlestar Gallactica message board admin who was dressed like Doctor Who that stormed out in a huff (“He TOTALLY trolled our panel on trolls!”). There was one highlight; since we were talking about online communities, I talked about how I went to a panel on fan-fiction and heard about people’s two hundred chapter magna opuses on Final Fantasy, and noted how that was already pretty ridiculous. Granted, we’re all inspired to create our own tales in our minds based upon favorite universes from movies, comics, and games, to fill in the blanks or to continue the story, but to spend so much time and effort crafting something tangible featuring characters and worlds that you ultimately don’t have access to just seems… I dunno… a waste of time and energy. But when I heard about the whole process of gather feedback, which is confined in a very tight, and rigid community, with zero interaction with the outside world, I was completely baffled. To the point that I actually became disgusted; the only way a writer can every improve is to have as many people read their works as possible, to receive as much feedback possible, whether it be good or bad. Instead, these fan-fic writers hide in a dark corner of the internet, afraid to share with the rest of the class, due to “all the haters out there”. Jesus Christ, give me a fucking break. The funny thing is, before going on my tirade, I knew there was a fan-fic author in the room, and told her “What I’m going to say will offend you.” She totally had that look of nothing is gonna offend me! yet shortly afterwards, she and her friend totally left in a huff. I feel kinda bad… okay, not really. There was no eroticism in gaming panel this year either, thank God; for the past two years, its mostly been just me plugging Jizzmoppa and explaining to everyone that I really did just get Dead or Alive Xtreme Beat Volleyball because I simply love volley ball video games (seriously).
Okay, you’re probably saying to yourself: holy shit, this is the most boring convention wrap-up ever. Well, first off, I completely agree. Second, just hold for just a bit longer… there’s two things that’s worth the wait. But yeah, there’s not too much to say, simply because I was so sick/too busy working on my presentation/doing behind the scenes stuff, there’s was zero chance to check anything else out, which was also extremely lame. Every year I’m able to do less and less, but this time I seriously couldn’t check out a single panel outside of e-gaming. Though I did manage to catch a little bit of anime… a show called Colorful, whose tag-line is apparently: “Roses are red. Violets are blue. This show’s about panties.” It’s basically a collection of vignettes, all centered on perverted men trying to catch glimpses of tits, ass, and vag. It’s not hentia, but instead falls squarely within the category of ecchi. It’s fast paced and WACKY JAPPY(!!!), plus the animation looks as if it was done by Studio C4 if the budget was serious 12 cents. Meaning it looks different, and kinda nice, but extremely crude. One of the stylistic decisions was to render the somewhat realistic women without noses, and its rather creepy. Anyway, I dug the show for the first ten minutes, but it just got REALLY repetitive. Also annoying, and this happens when watching anime with anime dorks, is how everyone kept going “OMG this is SO WEIRD!!!” over and over again. I guess it is if all you fucking watch is InuYasha. I did end up watching some hentai on Saturday night, again in a packed auditorium, and that was fun I guess (it was Bible Black btw). Sadly no tentacle rape panel that evening like the previous year, nor did I see that red head who not only believed my claim that I wrote Harry Potter/They Might Be Giants slash-fiction, but looked so impressed that she looked like she wanted to fuck me, right then and there. Also absent was about half of the cool kids crew, aka my “groupie” as they’ve been dumbed. One guy believes that he’s getting too old for ICON, and I know the feeling.
The crowd as a whole was flat-out weird; it was super packed Friday night, but the Saturday night, which is generally the busiest, was kinda bit dead. At least the energy level was, and everyone sensed it too. If there was a highlight from Friday, it would be what went down at anime rave, which had a nice big and bold sign on the door stating “FLASHING LIGHTS, NO ONE WITH EPILEPSY SHOULD ENTER” and how one kid with epilepsy did go inside, then immediately had a seizure. An ambulance arrived on the scene, then the medical staff managed to calm him down… and another attack ensued due to them forgetting to turn off their flashing lights. lulz.
At least I was able to take pictures! Time for the actual interesting part of this entry! At least the first of two.
One of the very first folks to catch my eye upon arriving at ICON. All I can say is “Hello Hogwarts!”
This guy was also close-by. He called himself Professor Plushie…
Man, the furries were in full effect at the show. Usually you see one or two around, sheepishly darting from one secret panel to the next, since they are not so liked among the other sects at the show (once again, it says something when some fat guy dressed up as a sweaty (not on purpose) Klingon goes “What’s with those fucking freaks?” In fact, most of their scheduled panels are a total secret, only known to those in the know… I would have to assume that these are the ones where they engage in fur piles and mutually masturbate. But this year, they were all over the place, like this one hanging with a Katamari chick…
And here we have a Jawa, just chillin’ on a Friday night…
Here we have a shot from Saturday afternoon, of some van all decked out to be like Ghostbusters like, for I believe some fan made movie…
Plus some dude brought out his Delorean. From afar I got all excited, and went closer in hopes of seeing a flux capacitor or a Mr. Fusion. But nope, it was just a Delorean. But hey, they’re still cool cars at least…
Despite the show not turning out as nearly as I had hoped it would be, at least I got my picture taken with my hero!
And, as everyone knows, I’m still proud to say that I’m a Digimon fan, so this kid was totally cool in my book…
See the girl dressed as Haruhi Suzumiya (in the blue schoolgirl outfit, for those not in the know)? Yeah, well I saw her do the dance from the opening in the show, such as in this very pic, with accompanying music, maybe fifty times throughout the weekend, no joke. At the very least, I know she was also there on Sunday…
There was some free time later that evening, when all the programming for e-gaming was wrapped up for the day. Here’s a shot from the cosplay award ceremony. This pair representing Bioshock ended up getting an award, which was cool…
The electronic gaming room was always packed, which was nice. Super Smash Bros Brawl was the most popular game, not surprising. There was also a MAME set-up, and of course, all anyone wanted to play as was fucking Evil Ryu, Evil Ken, Evil Akuma, or some bullshit Dragon Ball Z character. Jesus fuck. Anyway, here we have a furry playing DDR. And yes, people still give a shit about that game…
As noted, I checked out some hentai that evening, as well as some of the other stuff being screened, mostly old horror flicks, like this one from Europe, featuring vampire chicks seducing men and doing can you guess what?
… There was also a bunch of episodes of Ghoul a Go-Go, which Katie and I have become fans of recently, so it was neat not only watching some episodes on the big screen, but with the cast present as well! And man, despite it being past 1 in the morning, that guy playing the hunchback always stayed in character.
Like I keep saying each year, the dealer’s room is just this wasteland of overpriced crap that can easily be acquired for much cheaper online. But there was still that one booth that had tons of cool Japanese figures and Nintendo-related goods for the cheap, like this ultra hawt Famicom shirt for just $16! Why so cheap? I asked about the size, and they were Japan large, which means between small and medium here in the State, and considering most con attendees wearing XXXL shirts, it was obviously a hard sell. I showed it to Dave Mauro, who nabbed it, and of course it was too big for him…
Found these at some random table. Worst trading cards ever…
… I’ll trade you my Jack Lemmon for your Captain Kangaroo…
Star Trek related greeting cards from the 80s…
Costumes involving the Companion Cube from Portal proved to be fairly popular…
And of course, a girl dressed as something Resident Evil. Katie sez “It looks like her boobs are being choked”…
Finally, the best costume of the entire weekend, ladies and gentlemen, Star Fox…
… One last time, I guess that’s pretty much about it for me and ICON. It was fun while it lasted for sure (well, for the most part at least), and it even managed to help me professionally, but I believe its time to call it quits, at least for the foreseeable future. Who really knows. Though I will say yet again that the powers that be are making a HUGE mistake by not moving it to the city, to Jacob Javitz. Whatever. Fuck it.
Okay, like I said, there was a second reason to hang in there, the first being the pictures. It’s also why I wrote only about 10% of this entry on the train ride back, cuz I couldn’t do much else thanks to a certain distraction. But it’s getting late, so I hate to do this, but I’m just gonna wrap it up and promise to continue tomorrow. It’ll be worth the wait… trust me, it?s a fucking doozy.
NOTE: For all you new readers out there, I want to welcome you yet again! And for those of you interested in joining the forums… or those who already have, but want to know why you can’t log in yet, PLEASE EMAIL ME YOUR USERNAME! All activations are manual, and due to the large number of spambots that filled up the “to be approved” que… you get the idea. Also note the main benefit of joining: the hidden sub forum only available to members, where the real good shit goes down. You’ve all seen my top ten list of video game babes I wanna screw, and even my top ten list of cartoon babes as well (for those not there, yeah, I had some time… and cuz my choices on that end were much more recognizable… even the Mission Hill chick believe it or not… I got a much better response), but what about the chicks from comics? Plus, you gotta check out the video game dudes my girlfriend lusts after… you will NOT be disappointed by her number! [/shill mode]
