March 2006

Been busy the past couple of days, just trying to get stuff done before this weekend. Certain things are taking way longer to wrap up then they should… I won’t go into specifics, but all I will say is that P.R. folks can either be your best friend or your worst enemy.

Last night I took a break from work by getting some booze and burritos with Joe Salina and Mike O’Connor (I guess from this point on, I better just start giving out last names since I know so many Mike’s, Dave’s, Steve’s, and Joe’s). The original plan was for Joe to stop by my place afterwards to play some games; unfortunately, I no longer have a modded PS2 (which sucks since I know Joe has Ibara), so he brought some import PSOne games along instead (including a FMV Mega Man game I’ve long wanted to try out, and a Guardian Heroes rip-off that I’ve also been interested in), but we ended up at Revival and my fave cheap-o Mexican joint the whole night, so next time I guess. At least I got to try out Mega Man Powered Up while both guys took a smoke break. Its decent I guess… in the end, I’m still not thrilled with the art-style, which is a bit too kiddie for me (I know I sound like some Nintendo hater with a sentiment like that). Ultimately, I just don’t think there’s anyway to top the Mega Man 1-3 redux for the Genesis a whiles back, hence why anything else is rather pointless. I also hate whenever an old game has new shit added. Its like seeing a director’s cut of a classic movie which has been retooled to “fit the director’s original vision”, but 90% of the time it usually ends up ruining things. Though I do believe there’s a way to play the original game without the extraneous stuff. But I still want to face Oil Man, especially after Joe informed me of how precisely racist the character really is; I figured it just ended with the big lips, but apparently he yells out “Yo” and does a jig. Fucking amazing…

As for dinner conversation, much was discussed, such as the general state of video game fandom, which of course led to some talk about the “personalities” that dwell at Insert Credit. Also touched upon nerds in general, from anime geeks to furries (naturally). I recounted some favorite ICON memories (especially since the show is just two days away), like the time myself and some friends (Dave Roman & John Green, back when they were pimping QF at the show) stumbled across a panel called “gamer sex” in which two women dressed as demons or some shit gave a tongue-in-cheek talk to all the guys in the room (which there plenty off… the tiny classroom was fucking packed) about ways to get your girlfriend to leave you alone for five minutes so you can complete your pen & paper RPG. One suggestion to subjugate one’s horny mate and still complete the quest was to do the deed doggy style, which freed your hands up to roll the dice, plus the game map could be placed on her back. Which got a pretty big pop from the crowd, not no one was louder that this one fat guy that will be forever burnt into my memories, who was so huge that, besides barely fitting in one of those half table chairs they have in colleges, had a rolled up towel separating his huge gut and his genital regions, which he removed (and you knew it was damp, from the soft squish it made as he handled it) to place behind his neck to rest against the wall (to alleviate the pressure from his huge hump back, no doubt). If that story didn’t convince Joe and Mike to make it out to Stony Brook this weekend, I don’t know what will.

From there we just swapped horror stories about people and places from our past and present. I ended up recalling another story that should make another good tale for Unlucky, about the time I kissed an old war vet on the lips. Its a short story actually, but again, wait for the comic adaptation.

Last night was also my chance to pass along the extra MGS 3: Subsistence LE package that I got to Joe. And even though its going for $150+ on eBay right now, it still felt good to give it to somebody who simply wanted the game and not deal with all the bullshit that has arisen with the release. You’d think once the game was finally out, that would be it, but Konami keeps supplying folks even more reason to get pissed. One new point of contention is the instruction manual, which weighs in at just 16 pages, and barely covers anything, such as the all the online modes. But then it discovered that it was supposed to be something a bit more substantial. Nothing close to what Japan got (which was some 120 page monster with plenty of illustrations and even a comic story), but much more than just 16 pages which can be found here. There has been no explanation given as to why the full thing was never printed and replaced. But the biggest problem is with Metal Gear 2, because at one point Campbell tells Snake to refer to a chart that’s supposed to be in the manual (such as how the player had to look at the back of the box for MGS1 for Merly’s frequency), but that too was not included (it even absent in the full version). For that information, please refer to this post on the GAF.

Then there’s the emails between frustrated gamers and Konami themselves that folks at the GAF have also been passing along. Most are from Canadians who have felt burnt my the publisher’s idiotic attitude of “Sorry Canadians, but you’re not getting the LE… wait a minute, we changed our minds, you guys are getting it…. but we’re going to ship only 300 copies to the entire country” (which is an actual number that was quoted by a Konami rep). And now they’re actually telling folks that the best way to get their copy is to go on eBay. What in the fuck? Sounds like Konami is taking a page from Microsoft’s Xbox 360 strategy of making people go out on frustrating, meaningless fetch quests, all for the sake of generation cheap buzz, which at least makes sense for a console which holds the key for a company’s future and therefore needs all the attention it can get, as opposed to a simple game with some minor upgrade, most of which is to make diehard fans happy (which of course, are the ones who are getting fucked over the worst here).

Oh, and for the record, I have watched the Existence movie, and it was indeed quite good and well worth the wait. And I also plan on playing through of Snake Eater eventually, to unlock all the Secret Theater and other stuff. So all my bitching and moaning hasn’t been for just another game that gets tossed into a corner, to never be touched again. And this will probably be the last I talk about it, since its getting old, though I do want to add that there’s not much to add; I’ve even tried contacting Konami for some answers, but those requests have been left unanswered. I should also mention that of all the companies I’ve been dealing with to get screenshots, Konami has been the only one that’s given me just an ounce of trouble. Take that for what its worth…

Anyway, as for other news, its actually been rather quiet, though with the Game Developers Conference taking place, expect some major headlines very soon. But in the meanwhile…

- Remember how Michael Jackson was originally supposed to do the music for Sonic 3? Basically, the work was shelved due to his legal battles at the time (you know, the whole child molesting thing), and different musicians took over. Well here’s a video that claims that the work was not scrapped, but its still there, and makes comparisons between songs from the game and music from his albums.

I gotta admit… the evidence is fairly compelling. I’m not entirely convinced, especially since video games was always liberally borrowed from popular music, but especially so in the early 90′s (anyone who’s familiar with the group Information Society and the Genesis brawler, Streets of Rage, knows what I’m taking about). But this Wikipedia article, which was quoted on the GAF, does make even more interesting connections, especially since it outlines how those who were eventually credited as doing the music were very close to MJ professionally.

- Sticking with YouTube, here’s a vid that shows off all the ways to die in Mortal Kombat.

I’m not embarrassed to admit that I was a huge fan of Mortal Kombat, primarily part 3, back in the day. Granted, it didn’t play all that brilliantly, but it had personality!

- On the same note, here’s a Contra 3 speed run. I still prefer Hard Corps, but its still fun to watch.

- Check out Quake 3 being played on 24 screens. Playing a FPS on just one screen makes me sick, but on 24…. Anyway, here’s some more info.

- Here’s a pair of alternate interfaces for games. First, touching stuff in real life to move stuff onscreen. And second, here are people moving stuff just with the brains.

- Not sure I passed this along already, but here’s another example of using touch for graphical interaction.

- It would appear that Mega Man ZX is coming along quite nicely. I especially like this concept piece from page two…

- Anyone like fan fiction? Yeah, me neither. (Co-worker) Steve passed along a whole page of video game inspired fan fiction, and for shit and giggles, I decided to choose one at random. So I picked Silhouette Mirage and one of the three stories and…. wow. And people think I’m angry.

A quick glance at the main page shows a frightening number of games that have inspired fan-fic, including Killer Instinct, Snowboard Kids, and Fuzion Frenzy? WTF?! Not surprisingly, Kingdom Hearts has like 8,000+.

Oh, so why do I hate fan fiction? Because the very first instance in which I used the internet was to check out video game related junk, of course, and I came across a conversation between Yu Suzuki (creator of Virtua Racing, Virtua Fighter, Shenmue, and a host of other Sega arcade classics) and Kenji Eno (the eccentric game designer, who’s game Enemy Zero, I was really into at the time) that was like 28 pages long, which I afterwards discovered was all just made up. Ever since then…

This also reminds me… is Jason‘s friend, the one doing the Gyruss fan-fic finally done with hi 40,000 word magnum opus?

- Going back to Pong, and Gaming Age real quick, here’s proof that sex sells EVERYTHING…. even Pong.

- Finally, three non-game related vids. First, something called the Judo Upskirt Show. It’s NSFW, obviously. And the second, we all know old people are crazy, but if they used to be wrestslers, its 20 times more insane/awesomer.

And third, here’s the trailer to Matthew Barney and Bjork’s new “thing”. Call me a kook, or some art fag, but I actually liked Cremaster, but Barney is just repeating himself here.

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So its almost here… ICON is next weekend and I finally got my (tentative) schedule. And like years past, I’ve got a pretty packed line-up…

Saturday:
Big Budget Game Development – 1PM
Indy/Small Game Dev – 2PM
The Evolution of Online Gaming – 3PM
Girl Gamers (A geek?s legend or reality) – 4PM
The History of Video Games – 5PM
“The 10 best games ever created” (In one guy’s opinion)-6PM
Flame wars and trolls – 9PM
Gloom and DOOM – 10PM

Sunday:
Ratings & Censorship in Modern Media – NOON
The Art of Video Games 1PM
Games We’d Like to Make – 2PM

Every year I’m given an hour to talk about whatever I wish all by myself, and this time its the Saturday 6PM topic. I figured, if hearing some schmuck’s idea of what the ten best games ever created are, and the chance to argue over them, doesn’t put asses in seats, nothing will. Which reminds me, I need to get off my ass and get started on the PowerPoint presentation. Also worth noting is the Gloom and DOOM panel, which is all about games today being too realistic, i.e. dark & grimy, and how we need more blue, blue skies…

So yeah, it takes all the way in the heart of Long Island (on the spacious campus of Stony Brook University), plus the price of admission is considered steep by some, but I think its totally worth it if one simply knows how to maximize the bang for their buck. Here’s just a few of other things one can enjoy…

- The “northeast’s biggest science fiction and fantasy convention” tagline is no bullshit. If you’re into anything at least somewhat nerdy, trust me, you will find others who are into the same exact thing, and about 100 times more so, which can be either a relief or depressing, depending on your point of view.

- If you enjoy people watching, especially nerd watching, then this is the place to be. You’ll see everything from plain-jane guys in comics t-shrits and girls that are into manga, to Jedi’s, goth chicks, at least a half dozen Vash the Stampedes, and large women in extremely tight medieval era corsets. And yes, even furries; if you’re really lucky, you’ll get to see one confront me as its been vaguely eluded to!

- Aside from video games, there’s tons of other panels on a multitude of other interests: movies, animation, comics, anime & manga, pen & paper RPGs, live action RPG, science fiction books, pure science fiction discussion talk, and much more that I’m forgetting. On the comics end, MK will be on-hand for the “how to create a mini-comic” panel. Plus I’ll also be giving a talk about internet behavior, which will focus on message boards hijinks, and given that I’m part of both the GAF and Insert Credit, and how both camps basically hate each other, plus the mod from Something Awful (which sure as hell has no love for the IC set) will hopefully make a return appearance, things could get interesting.

- Hopefully like last year, I’ll manage to infuriate an entire room full of girls during the girl gamers panel, despite the fact that I have a very pro-women in games attitude. Or better yet, I might find myself sharing a panel once again with Lochane, the angry techno-fetishist vampire/pirate who claimed to have the ability to create fireballs with his mind (but was not able to do so because “nobody in this room believes in magic”.

- And then there’s the video game room, which will have every single console known to mankind present… but absolutely no one interested in trying them out. Instead, everyone will just want to play against each other in fighting games on the PS2/Xbox/GameCube (for just Smash Bros. of course). Then someone will pull out the laptop with Mugen, which will seem awesome given the possibilities (Ms. Pac Man vs Sub Zero, Mega Man vs Homer Simpson), until you realize that all anyone wants to play is Dragonball Z characters. Plus the room itself is small and has zero ventilation, so on the way you will be stepping over nerds who have literally passed out from the smell (I am NOT kidding about this one).

- Mr. Sulu, George Takei, will be making an appearance. Nuff said.

- Plus there’s the anime dance party. Again, nuff said.

- Finally, for those of you going for the long haul and staying at the hotel, make sure to stick around the lobby to see some lone Stormtrooper or a guy dressed as the Crow getting yelled at my some drunken groomsmen as he screams “Get over here fag!” so he can come over and get his picture taken with the sloshed wedding party.

Are you guys sold? For more info, such as how to get there, just go to the main site, at: http://iconsf.org/

Oh, and a few quick things:

- Connoisseurs of video game music might recall a special live performance of Mario & Zelda music rearranged with a jazz, latin, and country feel. Well here’s the entire performance from a DVD that was only released in Japan. Its well worth the view, if only to hear Mario music via banjos, the way its meant to be heard (no, seriously) and the amazing Dragon Roost (from Wind Waker) rendition.

- And here’s some arty-farty pictures of a girl posing nude with various game systems (sorta NSFW).

- Moving from video games to the movie of the year, here’s a working link to the Snakes on a Plane trailer.

You know, I’ve been wondering… what will Sam Jackson face off against in the end: a really huge snake, a bunch of snakes that combine to form a person, or a half human/half snake hybrid?

- Also, Steve passed along the trailer to yet another cinematic masterpiece, this time from the Wayans Brothers, called Little Man, and I don’t even know where to begin. All I can say is that, along with Snakes on a Plane, movies this year are gonna rock.

- Finally, not sure if everyone already knows this or not, but Joe is the official artists of the Warp Tour! His characters are all over the site. Can’t wait to see them 60 feet tall during the actual tour!

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