August 2004

08/05/2004

Jessica’s Story (Chapter 3)

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

During my freshman year of SVA, I met a girl in the writing resource center (it’s a place for students to write papers, and seek assistance if they needed it, which was primarily for foreign students). She was super tall (easily around 6’5), looked like a super model, and just arrived from Russia to study photography (or something). Even though she could speak English well enough, her ability to write the language was pretty shakey. The girl had a paper to write but was having a really rough time; she was there to see a tutor, but this person wasn’t there, so the girl was having a meltdown of sorts. So I stepped in and offered to lend a hand. After a few hours, I helped finish some art history report that was due the very next morning, and she was very much grateful. Considering how shy I was with the opposite sex at that point (hell, I still am), I’m surprised that I found the courage to ask her out to dinner, but I did, and was totally ecstatic that she said yes. Her name was Larisa.

The next night, or the one after that, we met and had a very romantic dinner at Wendy’s (hey, it was here choice; she LOVED American fast food). Then we had drinks at a local dive joint. Once both of us were nice and drunk, we ended up at her place, which was this super tiny studio on 3rd Ave. Making out was fun, if a bit awkward considering the difference in height, but I certainly didn’t mind.

Things got pretty hot and heavy, and she turned out to be the rough type. She liked to bite. Hard. So hard in fact that she bit down on my right nipple and tore off half of the top layer of skin. IT HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. I screamed as you might imagine, and not one of those “I’m in ecstasy!” kind of screams, but a “Holy fuck, I’ve been shot!” kind of yelp. And man did I bleed like a wounded animal, and I started breathing like one too. But the thing was… I kinda liked it.

Just so you know, I’m not an S&M freak, but I guess I just went with the flow and we really didn’t stop (she sure as hell didn’t look surprised or apologetic with what she has just did). Soon after we went straight for the sex, which was pretty messy as you might imagine. Not only did I really not stop bleeding, but any contact with the exposed area was excruciating. But still the sex was good. What happened afterwards though wasn’t.

No sooner than about 20 seconds after I had “finished”, she threw me off, ran into her bathroom, and locked the door. Then I could hear very loud sobs. I was totally confused and wondered if I had done anything to hurt her. I went to the door to console her, but she was murmuring mostly in Russian. When I asked what was wrong, she answered half if English, half in Russian, that she had just cheated on her boyfriend and she felt like something in Russian.

After about 15 minutes, I figured it was maybe best to leave, so I washed up in her kitchen sink the best I could, got dressed, and went home. I took the subway home and everyone on the train looked at me funny. I looked down and there was a huge red splotch on my shirt, almost like I had been shot! Once back at my dorm apartment, I put some ointment and a band-aid, and assumed it would heal up just fine.

But it didn’t. Granted the bleeding had stopped, but instead, my nipple was constantly oozing yellow puss. It would cover my nipple and form a thin crystalline layer, which would eventually harden and start to crack, then flake off. No matter what I did, skin would simply not grow back. I would always wear bandages, and after a while, it seemed totally okay and I stopped. But then, at the end of the day or two, I would notice a yellow spot on my shirt and that it was sticking to the skin. Pulling it off meant the thin layer of puss/skin getting ripped off as well and the cycle would continue. Some good shirts were ruined by this.

After awhile, the band-aids themselves were causing problems. Since the same spot was constantly getting covered by the sticky part, as well as having it removed, a rash began to develop in that area. Plus my nipple was starting to change colors; instead of pink, it was getting brown. With yellow puss on top, of course.

So here I had this one brownish nipple that oozed yellow gunk, with a perfect rectangle rash surrounding it. I was in hell.

I don’t know why I didn’t think about seeing a doctor, or at the very least, the school nurse (my reluctance in seeking medical help is a running theme in many of my stories), but thank God one friend at least made the suggestion about two and a half months into such ridiculousness. So I went to the nurse, who immediately gave me a special cream, and instantly made me feel 100% I pondered why everyone thought she was such an idiot. But every-time I went to see her again over the years, no matter what the ailment, she constantly asked “How’s that nipple?” or called me “Nipple Boy” and eventually began to despise her like everyone else.

So anyway, after a while, the nipple began to heal and new layer of skin began to grow back. But it was a while before it retunred to it’s original color (I’m talking years here) which was pretty embarrassing. As was the whole story behind it, but I found it at least humorous, hence why I shared it with all my friends. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised by all the requests to see the wound, but I only did so sparingly, and only for members of the opposite sex, and even then it was more of a “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours” type of thing (you laugh, but trust me, it actually worked).

Eight years later and my right nipple has enjoyed looking like the left one for about four years now. But it’s still VERY sensitive. So what’s the moral of the story kids? Learn your English.

Oh, and I decided to share the story on the Gaming Age Forums. Check out what they had to say here.

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08/05/2004

Mega MovingGame$

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

It’s been revealed that the new Made in Wario (WarioWare in the US) title for the GBA will feature motion sensor technology, and not the control pad or buttons, for control. To play certain mini-games, one will need to physically tilt the actual system to manipulate on-screen elements around, and for others, you’ll have to “spin” the GBA around…

This isn’t exactly a new concept; years ago there was a title called Kirby Tilt n Tumble for the Game Boy Color in which you moved Kirby, who was rolled up as a ball, around levels while avoiding holes and other obstacles. It was a fantastic idea, but suffered from one crucial flaw: the poor Game Boy Color screen, which was impossible to see due to lack of any lighting (unless you played in the outdoors under the sun).

Later, Nintendo resurrected the basic gameplay for the GameCube. I think it was called Kirby Roll-a-Rama, and you used the GBA, which had a motion sensor cart, as a controller, and was linked to the Cube. It was a great idea, but never got past the tech demo/prototype stage. By the way, if you have an IGN Insider account, do yourself a favor and track down the vid that shows the game in action.

Needless to say, it’s nice to see the idea live again. As a big-time WarioWare fan (I still think it’s the best GBA title to date), it’s nice to see that all the good ideas aren’t just being saved for WarioWare DS.

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08/04/2004

Confessions From A Former Sega Fanboy -OR- The Summer of ’94

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Continuing on the whole “what the hell is wrong with Sega” train of thought….

I guess it goes without saying that video games have always been a major part of my life, and not just today where it literally pays for me to not only play as many games as possible, but to talk, write, and read about it practically non-stop.

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest in a small town called Lakewood, which is a part of Tacoma, which is just south of Seattle. Growing up, I was pretty shy and didn’t have too many friends. I lived in an apartment complex where there were other kids to play with, but not many my age. And given the type of neighborhood I was in, which was mostly woodland, it was somewhat dangerous to venture out and seek new friends (thought that never stopped me from trying). Plus I had no siblings, so I had to find ways to entertain myself, hence why I embraced drawing, reading comics, watching tons of television, and of course, playing video games.

Some people, when they see old pictures from their childhood, like that one summer they spent at camp or example, get a warm fuzzy feeling in which all the sights, sounds, and smells from that precise moment which come gushing back. As stupid as it sounds, I get the same way when I hear the sound Mega Man makes when he lands, or when I see the blue skies in the first level of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Nothing made me happier as a child then sitting in front of my the TV in my bedroom and spending hours up hours on any given game I had for the NES, SNES, and especially, the Genesis. And I think I was the happiest ten years ago, right around this time. It was the summer of ’94, and I did almost nothing but play Sonic 3, Gunstar Heroes, Ranger X, Lightening Force (Thunder Force 4) and Virtua Racing. I don’t know why I grew so attached to Sega’s 16-bitter; I grew up a total Nintendo nerd and loved all their games with all my heart.

But I also loved the underdog, and Sega wore that crown proudly. You just got the sense that the games for the Genesis tried harder, because they had to. The system was technically inferior when compared to the more colorful and better sounding SNES games at the time. And the end result were games that simply had to be good, there was just no way around it. Perhaps the fact that I also lived in Nintendo country made me want to be rebellious of sorts (pro Nintendo news items were common on the 5 o’clock news).

Though that’s not to say that Nintendo games were not great at the time; if anything, almost everything they released was top of the line, and I enjoyed every bit of it: Super Mario World, Super Mario All Stars, Mario Paint (which is how I sharpened my drawing on the computer chops, not Photoshop) A Link To The Past, Super Metroid, Starfox, and much more. But if a game came out for both systems, I almost always looked forward the Genesis version more, since again, I was rooting for the underdog.

It was a fine time to be embedded in a system war, perhaps the only time actually. The fact that I was a stupid teenage at the time is also, at the very least, a good excuse for such behavior. Though I honestly believe it was the only instance in which the rivalry between Sega and Nintendo really did help to produce positive results which ultimately made things better for themselves, as well as gamers. Things were still, more or less, on an evening playing field; the technology was good enough to produce some truly fantastic games, but there was still plenty left to look forward to (as opposed to today where we’re already at the top of the 3D mountain with realistic graphics, and notion of even more realistic graphics is almost sleep inducing).

All throughout the summer, I would spend each day and night playing mostly Genesis games, and any time in between was dedicated to reading video game mags, in which I would scour every page for any tidbit regarding all the new and wonderful systems that Sega was coming out with, like the 32X and the Saturn, as well as the awesome games that were sure to be a part of them. I handled each page, and scanned each screenshot, with the same level of reverence (and with a watery mouth) as a normal young boy would be when handling a Playboy. I spent hours composing wish lists of games which I knew I wanted, games which I knew were on the way, and weighing the pros and cons between titles and consoles.

“… Should I get the 32X? Maybe I should wait for the Saturn? Or how about both? If so, and a game came out for both platforms, what should I buy for which? Wow, I love Daytona USA, and I can’t wait to play it at home! And I can’t forget about the Genesis; what’s on the horizon for that? I just got Sonic 3, and they’re coming out for another one?! With lock-on technology?! Sweet! The first three Mega Mans are coming out for the Genesis? Holy shit!!! Hey, maybe I should get a Sega CD afterall, if only to play Sonic CD and Silpheed…”

From the games themselves, to the avenues of information, and even to the outlets in which to purchase them, it was simpler times. And video gaming was still pure.

But now, 10 years later, everything has changed. First off, we all know what happened to Sega: the 32X was a failure on multiple accounts which cost them dearly, Nintendo cemented their dominance with Donkey Kong Country, and soon Sony entered the picture and changed the playing field forever. Saturn had some stunning games, but the public was too in love with the PlayStation to take notice, and it was Mario 64 that finally took things “to the next level.” Sega then came out with yet another system, which was both extremely powerful and ready to usher in the future of gaming (via an included modem). The games which came about were part of a creative renaissance that was taking place within the company, and things couldn’t have looked any brighter, yet it simply wasn’t enough to compete in a vastly wider, and far more competitive, gaming landscape. Then desperation took over, and even more poor choices made, until all that was once known as ?Sega? was simply no more.

I think I speak for many people when I say that video games “died” just a small bit once Sega pulled out of the hardware business. I too had hopes that going software would give them a second life, but from what they’ve done thus far, and what they plan on doing, it ?s becoming more and more like a pipe-dream at this point. In fact, many of their current games and decisions borders on the embarrassing. It’s hard to see a might giant fallen when it was one which gave you so many good times. The Sega that I knew is dead.

But that’s just life; everything changes, and most certainly, video games have changed a lot. It’s no longer that thing I enjoyed as a dumb kid. Video games are officially mainstream and “everyone’s doing it”, even (or in some cases, especially) grownups. I knew things were never going to be the same when I told my dad that I had just been hired as a video game designer for Ubi Soft years ago. Growing up, he always got me the games that I wanted and all, but I could tell that he though it was all a waste of time and money. But once he realized that I now had a very well paying job thanks to all the “time wasted”, video games all of a sudden becamse a very good thing. Any search I undertook for a video game with him was no longer a pain in the ass but a potentially lucrative investment.

And many other people’s attitude has changed as well: There was a point where whenever I told any girl I was dating that I designed video games, they would all give me a look, either of confusion or disgust. Now they all think its neat. And the other night, I spent an entire evening playing video games with this one super cool (and super cute) girl, and she was kicking my ass in almost every title!

It’s now ten years later and this summer I find myself doing the same exact thing as before: I play games whenever I have time (or when I don’t) and still read about them (and God know, there’s more to read now than ever), but now, I also get to write about them, and even make them myself, plus teach others everything I know about them. By all accounts, I should be happy. But I’m not, or at least not as much I thought I would. Maybe it’s because I’m an adult and I have adult things to worry about, like taxes and relationships, but I’m still just as into comic, movies, and cartoons as before, and my enthusiasm for all those haven’t waned a single bit. And it’s not like games aren’t good anymore; in fact, I’d wager they’re better now they’ve ever been. Perhaps it’s because video games has become a job for me, it now sometime feels like a job. But again, it’s not a bad job, and I still can’t stand fellow reviewers when they bitch about playing a bad game (“Hey, we get paid to play video games. That’s like every teenager’s wet dream!”).

I guess the thrill is just gone, whatever that means…

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