Man, last night was crrrazzzeee! And not because of Blip Fest. In fact, I didn’t even end up going…
As much as I wanted to show my support for the scene, and especially Josh, aka Bit Shifter, these past couple of days have been absolutely draining, and I really needed a night to just chill and relax. As an example, haven’t played Persona 4 the past three days, I’ve been that busy! So instead, last night I just stayed in with Katie, and we simply watched pro wrestling and order in Thai. And then we called some cable access shows.
For those of you in Manhattan, I was the guy who called Creology Live (the topic for the night was holiday memories, btw) and shared the time when I was back home in Washington, and on one Christmas night with absolutely nothing to do, my high school buddy Steve Weigand and I went to a riverboat casino and watched a bunch of wives of retired generals blow their husband’s pensions at the craps table, with the highlight being one very exuberant Filipino, who was on a role, going “Happy birthday Jesus! Happy birthday Jesus!” While Katie was the girl whose holiday memory was not when her uncle “brutally molested” her.
But the real fun came when both hosts were back on the air immediately afterwards, though on a different channel (here in Manhattan we have four, count them, four different cable access channels), due to some screw-up with “Master Control”. So again I called in, hoping to share yet another memory (those two dudes love me, btw) and immediately got into an argument with the host of the show whose time slot was being spilled into. Guy was yet another piece of sh*t hipster douchebag, one of those pathetic middle age white guys who are way too proud about living in a dilapidated (translation: up and coming) black and/or Spanish neighborhood, because it proves how “brave” or “open-minded” he is, and also believes he’s doing the locals a favor or something, by being the one cool white guy they can trust. Though secretly, *sshole can’t wait for the day the gentrification bulldozers rolls into town and knocks down that scary looking ethnic restaurant, the one he brags about to all his white friends about being so awesome and claims to eat at all the time, but the only thing he ever orders is f*cking red beans and white rice, and can’t wait for it to be replaced by some bullsh*t fusion Asian hellhole. Anyhow, after insulting me, I simply had to call into his piece of crap program, and of course, the big pussy wouldn’t give out his phone number. Maybe he doesn’t take calls, but he honestly should since, dear God, that guy was BORING. He was just another whiney liberal Democrat who, like so many of his ilk, have turned on Obama just one month after electing his ass, and still a month before he takes the office and can officially do anything. This guy was complaining about Hilary Clinton, of course. And then he began bitching about Bush, of course, complete with the requisite shitty Bush impression (it’s amazing how 99.999% of people who think they can do an impression of the guy simply CANNOT). It’s like, Jesus, the guy’s leaving office in a month, who gives a rat’s ass. I guess some folks are finally realizing the one guy whom they blame all their (completely irrelevant and absolutely self-absorbed) problems is finally leaving. What will they do now? Who now can they lampoon via crappy silkscreen shirts? This guy, btw, was wearing his a stupid Bob Marley shirt of his creation, CUZ HE’S A COOL WHITE GUY THAT LOVES BLACK MUSIC, YEAH!!!!
Afterwards was the surly black psychic’s show, who also totally loves me. I wanted to ask him to put a hex on the previous host (his show was called zERO GRAVITy, and I bet he’s the kind of guy who Google Alerts his show, so if you’re reading this, hi there), but because it was a repeat, I decided to finally play some Persona 4, to replay the part for Katie in which my character finally bags the one girl I was wooing in the game, when all of a sudden, we heard all these fire trucks pull up front. Once we saw everyone on the street lining up to look at us, and then heard the smell of burning, we immediately went “Uh oh!” and began to make our escape. Thankfully a fireman was walking up the stairs at that exact moment and told us that the situation was totally under control. But still, exciting stuff!
Moving onto the day prior… early Christmas continues! Received yet another gift from Katie for the holidays: the Twin Peaks Gold Box Edition, which has everything, every episode from both seasons, INCLUDING the pilot! Along with deleted material, promos, featurettes, even Kyle MacLachlan’s monologue from the time he hosted SNL, along with the Twin Peak parody sketch (featuring a cameo by Conan O’Brien and a great performance by Mike Myers, at a time when I actually considered myself a fan of the guy). It’s an absolute must watch for any longtime diehard fan of the show, especially because it has seriously never looked better; sometimes you don’t know what you’re getting when it comes to old TV shows on DVD.
Also, I’ve said this many times before, but after watching both the pilot and final episode back to back (as I’ve done many times in the past, but this time in stunning, crystal clear clarity), it bears repeating: f*ck Lost and every other lame Twin Peaks wannabe that’s come before and since the absolutely brilliant and still untouchable original. This includes Northern Exposure, since I know everyone loves that show to death. I know that Twin Peak doesn’t own the concept of “quirky” characters all residing in some “whimsical” spot on Earth, but it did basically invent the form, and again, no one has even come close to building upon its foundation. Mostly because all the copy-cats, such as Northern Exposure, have been somewhat “safe” (or pussy-fied to be more precise) attempts, whereas most characters in Twin Peaks were simply too weird or creepy for most folks to hand (who basically demand that their television characters have to be “likeable”). In that sense, Lost is completely guilty of such traits (or so I believe), but it too has the ultra convoluted mystery with all these wild and wacky tangents that’s designed to entice the audience to conduct investigations of their own, only to be “pleasantly outsmarted” in the end. Though yet again, no one has been able to do it nearly as well as Twin Peaks. You know, I was actually really interested in the show when it premiered, but never got the chance to watch the first couple of episodes due to my hectic schedule, but once I began hearing bits and pieces, I came to the conclusion that it was gonna go overboard with the Twin Peaks-y elements, like many copycats also ending up doing, which no one would mind at first, since it gave people something to do I suppose. I assumed that after a while, it would become abundantly clear that the creators really had no clue as to what they were doing, leading to most folks getting bored and walking away, which apparently is just what’s happening! I can see the argument of creators just throwing all kinds of junk out there in the beginning with hopes to connect everything as they go along can be potentially entertaining and requires a certain degree of genius, but I also believe its extremely naive and ultimately lazy… Admittedly, I say that as a person who hasn’t watched more than five minutes of the show, but I?d like to think that I have a pretty good eye for such things. Bottom-line: Twin Peaks rools, Lost and everything else drools. Also, another excellent show that managed to sustain an extended narrative, one laced with mystery, was X-Files (the first five seasons ONLY) and Millennium (the first two seasons primarily, though the third season is still worthwhile on its own terms).
Back to early Christmas: also got a wonderful care package from the wonderful folks at Meat Bun! Apparently, some new designs are finally arriving, and they (well, I’m guessing Mike McWhertor to be exact) were gracious enough to give me a small taste…
Note to self: pass along copy of zine to Mike. Also note to self: make more copies of the zine! At least I have some new threads to sport later tonight at Blip Fest! Speaking of, me not going last night tonight totally screws up my original plans for coverage, since it was the one night Dave Mauro (whose writing about it on this end) couldn’t attend. Though the man formerly known as click-stick, aka Brian Liloia, has promised to provide a report, along with some pics! But those images were originally supposed to accompany my GameSetWatch article, which was also going to focus on last night as well. And while Simon won’t mind the change of day, if I don’t have my designated photographer handy (Brian’s not going to be there later tonight)…
I also had to miss Joe Salina’s curry challenge earlier this morning, though I’m sure I’ll hear all about it later this evening at the show. But before all that…
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Time to wrap up my random assortment of game reviews, but first, a brief look at all the other reviews from throughout the year:
Castlevania Judgment/Sonic Unleashed
To sum it up: Judgment is an interesting experiment that’s worth checking out, but diehard fans of the series need only apply, while Unleashed might be the worst Sonic game to date, which is saying a lot.
Mirror’s Edge
To sum it up: awesome idea, the sensation of running and hopping around rooftops is amazing, but the immensely trite characters and story more or less ruins the entire affair.
Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe
To sum it up: what happens when someone officially runs out of ideas and a totally insane that comes as a result, which had definite potential for something special, but the wasn’t all that fun back then, and certainly isn’t any good today “classic” MK gameplay tarnishing the whole thing.
AC/DC Live Rock Band Track Pack/Celebrity Sports Showdown/Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia
To sum it up: the AC/DC expansion back is a worthy, if a tab bit too pricey, update, EA’s game in which you can pit Avirl Lavinge vs Sugar Ray Leonard is about as bad as it sounds, and the latest Castlevania for the DS is only for the truly dedicated fans.
Thunder Force 6
To sum it up: it’s certainly competent, but definitely no Thunder Force 4 or even 5, that’s for damn sure.
Rock Band 2
To sum it up: easily the greatest music game to date, period.
Grand Theft Auto 4
To sum it up: the most overrated game of this generation, period.
1942: Joint Strike/Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3/Everyday Shooter/Sengoku Basara X
To sum it up: you’ve got three shumps, two of them high profile and big budget (relatively speaking) sequels that don’t quite have that touch of the originals, whereas the third, a very low-fi, indie tribute to the genre does, and is also an example of “games as art” that’s actually playable, plus another supremely hardcore experience, this one a fighter, that’s hard to grasp but is at least very pretty.
Persona 3 FES/R-Type Command/Rock Band for the Wii
To sum it up: P3 the best damn JRPG for the PS2, and perhaps in the past ten years (or at least until Persona 4 comes out), the R-Type strategy game is a novel idea, but the execution is a total mess, and Rock Band for the Wii was awesome until I realized what I was missing out on the Xbox 360 and PS3 (but at least its sequel is on par with the other versions, features-wise).
Super Smash Bros, Brawl
To sum it up: like you need to be told, but its mind-blowingly amazing on every single level.
We Ski
To sum it up: believe it or not, its a lot of fun and totally worth your attention!
IMAGINE Animal Doctor
To sum it up: as far as crappy kids games go, this one takes the cake and drags down the good name of the profession of animal care with it.
Please note that this is by no means a comprehensive list of all the stuff that’s played in 08, nor a comprehensive list of recommendations either (I’ll save my best games of the year list for the end of 08). Just everything that managed to get a “proper” write-up; most everything else slipped through the cracks for whatever reason, such as how I couldn’t procure proper screenshots? sounds silly, I know. Point being, I really need to get my ass better organized. But first, time to finish up on my catching up:
Review: Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix (Xbox 360)
Last game we touched upon was a fighter, and here’s another… as well as one that’s also pretty animu. Not so much originally but definitely is now, thanks to a massive makecover, which is it’s key feature. Hence why again, I’m skipping the general explanation (seriously, at this point, who doesn’t know was Street Fighter 2 is?) and getting right to what everyone wants to know about: the souped up graphics. So in the end, how is it? I’ve already touched upon how sometimes awkward the characters can appear, due to each originally low-fi sprite being redone, but with no additional frames of animation being added in-between, leading to some very choppy motion, which was always there to begin with, though with the added fidelity, it’s all the more noticeable. I’ve already touched upon the technical reasons for this, as provided by Capcom themselves, which is how the game’s built upon the original arcade title’s code, which was pretty tricky to work with, and not at all conducive to serious tinkering around with. In the end, it’s only noticeable when the fighters are standing still, mostly with the smaller, faster characters, but I’m also just used to it, whereas when Katie first laid eyes on the game, she was positively appalled. But while the foreground action looks rather “eh”, the backgrounds are just superb, with a degree of clarity I’ve yet to see in any 2D fighter, ever, with the only possibly exception being the upcoming King of Fighters XII. Unfortunately, the overall package is pretty weak; all the menus and sub-screens, though especially the game’s logo, are just a lifeless, unimaginative collection of random fonts all they thrown together. Audio-wise, the game doesn’t fare much better, with every tune a remix by the folks at OC Remix, and it definitely shows. I guess this is just my personal bias speaking here, so perhaps most folks will neither mind nor notice that same sound that I found so enthralling eight years ago which I now find pretty boring.
But screw the visuals and the sound, how well does this new game play? Just like before, with some tweaks, and while exploring all the new nuances, it finally hit me why I never bothered to really get deep into the original, as well as who this revamp is for… certainly not for someone like me. Every diehard SF fan needs this game, because it’s clearly just for them. Everyone else is not going to have the best of times; the AI is brutally tough, even on normal. Not cheap, just VERY good, which I can appreciate, though when I play a game set to easy, I expect the game to be easy, I’m sorry. But the real realization game when I found myself confused as to why certain inputs of moves had changed, until someone in the forums alerted me that it was made due to reasons related to buffering. Something I would have never noticed on my own (hey, at least I’m being honest). So basically, there’s quite a few changes here that perhaps you might not ever notice either, unless you’re one of the diehards. As for fighting online, as it was during the beta, completely pointless for a person such as myself, since I suck so bad at it. Though I found no issues common to online play, though once again via the forums, I’ve heard different from other folks. Bottom-line: God, Street Fighter 4 can’t come soon enough. I’ll probably suck at it too, but at least it?s new and the graphics are MUCH prettier.
Review: Burnout Paradise (Xbox 360)
Some longtime readers might recall me really hating Burnout 5, to the point where I went on record by stating that its a travesty that it even has the name Burnout in the title (and a few might recall the scene that I helped to ensue at an EA press event over the game). Well, long story short, I’ve had a change of heart, and now I really dig the game. Mind you, its still no Burnout 3… far from it. But on its own terms, its easily one of the finest next-gen (well, I guess current gen at this point) pure arcade racers you’ll find on the market today. Though I wasn’t convinced overnight.
First off, the visuals are insanely gorgeous, a quality that I found undeniable, even when I was in full-on hate mode. Top to bottom, from the cars to the environments, everything is extremely pretty. And man, things go hella fast too. Controls hold up surprisingly well, considering how fast everything goes. But it wasn’t the breakneck speed of the vehicles that I found overwhelming, just the massive scope of the world and the game as a whole. There’s just so much to do that you’re instantly confused from the get-go, with practically zero explanation of anything. The idea of doing whatever and whenever is great in theory, but when you just want a simple race, with no means to know how to do it, you’ll eventually want to scream. Once you’ve figured out how everything works, all the different racing events that are available, and where plus how to trigger them, you’re next problem is actually reaching the finish line; the city you race in is a massive one, with many possible routes, with plenty of dead-ends along the way. There’s a very tiny, and not at all useful map that kinda tells you where to go, but in the end, you basically have to memorize every street, every intersection, every obstacle. It’s practically the Mega Man of racing games to a certain extent. But once you not only figure things out but also remember all the tiny details, everything just begins to click. And next thing you know, you’re having the time of your life. Best part is easily the Showtime modes, in which you crash your car and then keep it crashing, by bouncing off one vehicle after another and another. Again, it’s kind alike Mega Man, when you try to stay alive by jumping from one disappearing then reappearing block to the next. Though what really kept me coming back was the absurd amount of downloadable content that the game’s developers keep providing players; Burnout Paradise first came out early this year, and over the months have been many additions, not just chintzy stuff, but motor bikes, which completely changes the game. Best of all, everything has been free, though word is, they’re finally going to charge for the next big, surely to be the biggest actually, DLC, though after a sold year of free stuff, I particularly don’t mind. Especially since I hear the Back To The Future car will be one of the additional vehicles.
Review: Need For Speed Undercover (Xbox 360)
Moving on… to another arcade-y EA racer, the latest installment of the Need For Speed franchise, which has been around the block and then some. It takes plenty of cues from Burnout Paradise’s book, mostly its open world format, though the end result isn’t nearly as enthralling (though on the flip-side, it’s not nearly as confusing at first), mostly because the individual events themselves aren’t as fun or interesting. Worst of all is how the act of just driving around, when not in the midst of an event, which can be fun for just goofing around in Paradise, is totally missing here, due to the lifelessness of the world that Undercover presents. Also on the flip-side, whereas Paradise is challenging from the get-go, Christ is this game way too easy.
Presentation-wise, there’s this really dumb story that strings the action together, and brings actress Maggie Q along for the ride. Hey, at least it’s not Brooke Burke. Unfortunately it’s not nearly as fun as Carbon’s, though the only reason why I liked it was because I love Tokyo Drift and I found Carbon’s bizarre virtual actors somewhat charming, believe it or not. The graphics themselves is typical Need For Speed visuals, meaning everything feels kinda shaky and unstable. Can’t really explain it any other way. The game’s creators this time took every care to set the action during “the golden hour” when the sun is about to set and everything has a very pleasant golden hue. But there’s also frame-rate issues, along with sometimes nasty pop-ups, so point here is that the entire thing is just one very uneven package (though I hear it flat out sucks on the PS3). Point being, I think this game’s not exactly finished. Hey, at least running away from cops never gets old! Actually, it does…
Review: Wario Land: Shake It! (Wii)
Time for a series revival done absolutely right. Kinda. Fans of the Game Boy Color titles, and the lone entry on the GBA are gonna love this one. You’re Wario and you’re a greedy little bastard that wants major coinage. You rush to the end of the level to grab some gold along the way, seize the big prize at the end, and then you have to rush back to where you started if you want to keep the plunder. It’s like a traditional platformer from the by-gone era, but on steroids. Thins honestly is what video game would look like today if the Sega Saturn, and its emphasis on 2D, had ruled supreme, and not the PlayStation and its introduction of 3D gaming to the masses. You will flat-out not find a more fluid moving, beautiful looking 2D game, period, end of story. Apparently all the animation was done by the folks who did Ghost In The Shell, and that’s hardly a surprise.
But how does it play? Much like Wario Land 4, with its aforementioned zany level structure, though it’s unfortunately not quite as zany I’m afraid. Levels are a lot more linear this time around, and whereas before you were setting Wario ablaze or freezing him cold as to manipulate the environment and solving puzzles, this time… not so much. What you get instead though is some finely-tuned I traditionally laid out levels that never bother you with any b.s. I normally hate collect-a-thons, but given Wario’s personality, the notion works well here, and if you want to just rush right on through without treasure on the mind, that’s totally acceptable. Otherwise, there’s plenty to re-see and re-do, and getting absolutely everything is quite the challenge. The one thing I was totally afraid of was the controls, which thankfully are rock solid and makes tasteful use of the Wiimote. You shake it when appropriate, which I’m glad isn’t every three seconds. You also tilt it at times, to help Wario aim for targets, which also works very well. My concerns stem from his last platforming adventure, Master of Disguise for the DS, which tried too hard to utilize its hardware’s distinguishing characteristics. Ultimately, Shake It isn’t the greatest game of its kind of all time, nor is it the greatest Wario Land title either (again, see: Wario Land 4), but at this point, with the biggest Wii game out there being Wii Music (oh Jesus), folks starving for some classic Nintendo action need no further for a temporary fix.
Review: Bangai-O Spirits (DS)
With the latest Wario Land you have a handheld game coming home, and with the latest Bangai-O (which also hasn’t been seen in a while, since the Dreamcast) you have a console game on the run. Again, a potentially worthless review since anyone who knows or cares about this game has already played it to death, or at the very least knows what the deal is: it’s a Treasure game, doing what they do best, and that’s delivering the game intense level of old school action that made them legendary back in the 16-bit days, and still filling that niche that definitely exists today. Basically, you control a robot and you have to blow things up, everything around you and everywhere around you.
This baby is HARD, as hardcore action games from the glory days were generally speaking, as are most of Treasure’s offerings, but this one might take the cake. Some things are the same, such as the basic gameplay, but some things are different, or simply sorely missing, such as the first game’s awesome story mode. You get a bit of it here during the tutorial, but that’s about it. Afterwards you are presented with 150 levels, the first of which feels almost impossible. Thankfully you can pick and choose your whatever stage you want… if something’s giving you trouble, just go to the next. But the play anything you want, when you want presentation, while still much appreciated, lessens the gamers? focus, which is what Treasure games have been all about, forcing a tough as nails objective and making them get through it, whether they like it or not. Back to the tutorial, it alone is almost 20 stages deep, which should tell you that the controls are fairly complicated, to the point of being overwhelming. The visuals, as before, is frantic and awesome, though because of the smaller viewing angle that the DS provides, things feel all the more chaotic because when everything blows up, you practically can’t see anything. There’s also quite a bit of slowdown, but you won’t mind. Though the difference also impacts the gameplay, or so the designers knew ahead of time, hence why it?s more of a puzzler than a straightforward shump this time. Though the real star of the show is the ability to not just create custom levels but swap them; the game exports them as audio files, which alone is pretty f’n neat, and the whole process of finding a level file online, then putting your headphones up to the computer’s speaker for the game to “hear”, while sometimes messy is pure Treasure. Grab it if you can, especially if you remember the original.
… Great, just remembered a bunch of other titles that I was supposed to review, but never got around to fully completing. Yet I still feel the need to say at least something, since I’m probably never going to get the chance, especially with other, more current tiles waiting in the wings. So real quick-like:
Bionic Commando
Yet another revamp of a classic title that completely retains its high level of difficulty. The problem here is the core game mechanic: it’s a platformer where you don’t jump because you can’t. Instead you use your bionic arm to swing you around, which is definitely fun, but a concept I couldn’t completely wrap my mind around when I was 11, nor twenty years later. Hence my inability to get very far. But it?s definitely a solid title, and a true labor of love, given how the original was literally plucked out of nowhere to be remade. The graphics are nicely stylized (it looked like stop motion to me at first glance) and the chiptunes driven soundtrack is well worth the price of admission alone. Though the best part is, surprisingly, the multiplayer mode, which traditionally isn’t worth the bother for the genre.
Braid
The darling of the indie game dev world, and for good reason: the game is absolutely brilliant, with puzzles and conventions that legitimately pushes the video game form as a whole legitimately forward in a way that very few titles attempts to do. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, Braid appears to be yet another platformer, but one that takes every trick you’ve ever learned from everything from video games as a whole, tosses it into a blender, and hits puree. This game and its puzzles will quite simply stretch your mind and challenge it in a way no game has done so previously. Unfortunately, it’s too good for me, hence why I’ve yet to beat it. If one wishes to, they can rush to the end, but I feel the game deserves every challenge to be overcome before moving forward, and there’s some puzzles that I refuse to leave behind. Braid is a one-player experience that definitely benefits from a friend watching on and offering advice, though I’ve mostly played the game when no one has been around. But I’ll beat it, some day…
Castle Crashers
I really wanted to like Alien Hominid, the same team’s previous effort, due to the awesome art style and goofy sense of humor, but the wonky controls didn’t allow that to happen, and the same goes with their latest release. The biggest problem is trying to wail on some foe but also making sure that you’re perfectly line up with them, which can be a real pain in the ass when you’ve got three others trying to do the same to you at all sides. Also, like all other Final Fight/Streets of Rage brawlers out there, its only fun if you’re playing with another person. By yourself, it’s somewhat of a borefest. Yet even with two people, the levels are simply way too long; ultimately, its the pacing of the game that kills the experience, something Alien Hominid rather excelled in. At least the art is again very much awesome, plus the music is fantastic. Otherwise, eh…
Galaga Legions
Since I’ve talked about it so much, to the point that I was the game’s biggest evangelist in certain circles at point, so I guess it deserves a “review” of some kind. Bandai Namco stuck gold with their Pac Man revamp (which is honestly better than the perfection that is Ms. Pac Man, which is still almost impossible to believe) and Galaga Legions is their second attempt. And it comes close, very close! Though asking for a second Pac Man Championship Edition is perhaps asking too much. Quite a few changes to the formula have been made, perhaps too much, which is why arcade purists automatically threw their noises up in the air upon hearing abut them. Instead of moving just left and right, you can go all over the place, which is necessary since enemies rush in at all angles as well. At least you’re given a heads up as to where their formations will appear, plus you can deposit satellite guns anywhere you want, to help annihilate them as soon as they appear. I know it all sounds confusing, and perhaps the absolutely breakneck pace doesn’t help, but the end result is almost an outer space version of defend the fortress. And its loads of fun at first, but as time goes on, it grows kind tiresome, especially since there isn’t the same beat the clock aspect of Pac Man CE.
King Of Fighters: The Orochi Collection
KOF is a series that I wish I was a bigger fan of, but for whatever reason, I simply do not get the mystique that’s been cast upon its loyal legion of fans. Much like SSF2THDR, I guess it’s, but I at least respect the series for its longevity and sincere attempts to mix things up and make fans happy. KOF 98, one of the most celebrated entries in the series is present, though I was a bit surprised to see just the original and not the recent Ultimate Match upgrade. I will admit that its pretty neat to see how each entry built upon the previous one, and I love history lessons in the form of video games, but truth be told, every-time I sit down to down to give Orochi Collection a shot, I end up getting somewhat bored and replacing the disc with The NESTS Saga instead.
… All right, that’s it! From here on out, don’t expect ten reviews in one shot, hopefully. Anyhow, time to get ready for Blip tonight! Apparently there’s some chiptuner from China performing tonight! Should be awesome.
