01/02/2010

The Long And Winding Road, 2000-2009

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Hey, I’m back! Been a while, right?

The Past Week Or So

First off, how was everyone’s Christmas? Mine was rather low-key, but pleasant nonetheless; made the trip out to Babylon, Long Island, to spend the holiday with the Dave Roman clan yet again, though sans Dave Roman (who went to San Fran instead, so him and Raina could spend Xmas with her family for once). But since I√≠ve been a long-standing Roman family friend, flying solo wasn√≠t as awkward as it might sound. I simply chatted it up with his sister Michele and Rob (both of whom help me fill in the cracks that I miss by not watching television), ate too much food (which got me sick, though more on that in a bit), played some DJ Hero (which I must admit, I’ve really warmed up to, but not enough to blow $120…. maybe when it comes down to $50), and had various “humorous” interactions with all the little kids that were running around. Who unfortunately, as tykes tend to be, were reservoir for germs; despite catching one kid putting his half-eaten chips back into the bowl early into the day, I still managed to get a cold that I’ve been dealing with ever since.

Which made getting things done these past couple of days particularly challenge (or a flat-out pain in the ass in some instances). BTW, my Blip Fest 09 report is finally up! Yeah, took long enough, I know. The real issue is how I’ve been totally burnt out as of late. Something I’m sure that I’ve either made mention of before (my memory these days quite frankly sucks), or its simply been evident by my sporadic output around here and other places. I’m honestly and seriously embarrassed that I’ve hardly done a thing for Gamasutra, Life Meter, or Americurry for seemingly forever. Then again, it√≠s been the holidays, a time for rest, and I think I’m entitled to some. Yet given my rather bleak economic outlook, I also can’t afford to stop juggling fifteen projects at once either. Though I’m certainly well aware of how I’m hardly the only one who has it rough; like everyone else, 2009 was a long, hard year that I’m elated is finally done and over with.

At least it’s ended on a high note: On Wednesday, I finally got the chance to hang out with Adam from Attract Mode! Him and the wife decided to venture into NYC (they’re staying at his parents house in Philly) and I gave them the grand tour, which including all the great video game related spots throughout the city, past and present. Obviously, most of the best stuff is long gone, which translated to simply pointing towards spots that used to be where an awesome arcade or game shop used to reside (by cross-referencing what I had already written about in FORT90ZINE #2), but we did stumble across a curiosity, nearby our stop over at the Nintendo World Store, at the NBC gift shop in Rockefeller Center of all places…

… It’s basically a PC in an arcade enclosure running assorted games that incorporate the latest headlines. Sorta. The only one I could get working was a breakout clone in which the bricks, once hit, release headlines that you collect by making contact with the paddle as you try to keep the ball in play. The thing is, the headlines are just plain weird. Or simply horribly truncated, like “President Obama says no.” To what, I’m not certain. Also the ball√≠s physics is horribly screwed up, so you expert Arkanoid players can pass. At least the cab itself is fairly attractive!

Naturally I took Adam down to Chinatown to check out the arcade there and the such. Here’s a picture of the guy eating a pork bun while discussing Meat Bun; this one is for you Mr. McWhertor!

And the next day was New Year’s Eve of course. Katie and I went out to Brooklyn with Joe Simko, June, and Joe’s pal from back home John to some house party, a friend of Dave Mauro’s. And it was pretty damn epic. Here I am with Isfet and dmauro, trying to spell out fort90…

… Plenty more, especially those of the slightly embarrassing variety (mostly of Isfet and Wilkes dry humping each other) can be found over at the forum, in the secret chamber. Though here’s one more of me and the gf (check out her top which is FROM THE FUTURE)…

The Past Twelve Months

Anyhow, 09 was another crazy twelve months, with many ups and downs, but far too much of the latter. Highlights include…

- As I do every year, worked on a bunch of different projects, everything from iPhone games, to a television project, a film project, and a couple of others things that I can’t even begin to hint towards for various reasons. And virtually none of them got past the planning stages. That’s always been the case; I’ve always had my eggs in about 10 or so baskets at any given time, you sorta have to do that. Plus these things are never guaranteed, but this year, I dunno… It just seems a little more disheartening than usual. Perhaps due to my aforementioned financial situation, in which I could really use some actual scratch for at least one of those million dollar ideas I’m always coming up with.

Making matters worse was the loss of several gigs, including Nickelodeon Magazine which lasted over seven years, Anime Insider which lasted just one issue, and EGM, which never even got started!

- On that note, and I hate stating the obvious, especially so often, but it was another rough year for anyone in the business of writing about games, myself included. With fewer gigs available across the board, it’s been hell dealing with all the logistics that’s entailed. Though the worst part has been coping with one of life’s ugliest truths; not to sound like a big baby, but it’s also the case with pretty much every creative profession out there, and that’s how quality of work often has little to do with employment opportunities. I just don’t have it in me to play politics (never did, but also never really had to till recently), plus my brutal honestly can’t be doing me any favors either. And not to act all high and mighty, but I also refuse to bow down to the lowest common denominator or resort to cheap attention grabbing tactics (note: bitching about the way things are is not necessarily an example of the latter, but certainly can be; in this instance I’m just being a huge narcissist, which is slightly different). Again, not exactly divulging any great secrets here, that’s just how it is, but the hoops that one must jump through these days are particularly absurd (along with the butts one is supposed to kiss). Hence why I’ve pretty much had my fill of such nonsense, nor do I really care how such bitching and moaning is perceived!

So with all of that in mind, why do I continue to bother? Honestly, I have no idea. Actually here’s a reason: reporting on video games is one of the few things I’m somewhat decent at. Basically, this entire year has been one massive kick to my ego, professionally speaking. At least I have my shiny new gig at Heavy.com! Which was something I needed in more ways than just one.

- On another semi-related note, I’ve officially lost much of my enthusiasm and interest in the world of indie comics. To go into details would not only take up too much time/space/energy, but further piss people off, so just gonna say that I officially “just don’t get it” and simply wish friends of mine involved the very best, all of whom I’ll continue to support vigorously as always. BTW, Katie just finished #5 of Nurse Nurse and you can grab your copy this very second! Anyhow, does that mean I’m abandoning my auto-bio comic series? Nope, and easily one of my biggest regrets of 2009 was that there was no issue #5 of UNLUCKY, which you can bet your ass is coming out in 2010.

- But it hasn’t been total doom and gloom; despite the fact that my career as a professional game writer is tenuous at best, along with my place in the world of indie comics, it’s almost ironic that the one thing that mixes elements of both has been a smashing successful: the FORT90ZINE! The response thus far has been tremendous, as well as a massive boost in confidence, one that’s been sorely needed. Which of course, could not have happened without the support of many fine folks, including Katie, Hilary, Adam, and a few others. Then there’s everyone out there whose been kind enough to part with their hard earned cash for a copy!

- And because of the zine, not only is my stuff alongside plenty of other awesome things by other awesome people, via the Attract Mode online video game style shop, but I’m also in a ritzy, super cool Brooklyn art gallery, aka Central Booking.

- The blog has also been doing fairly well. My total number of visitors has remained strong, despite the fact that there’s a zillion others out there, as well as how my entries are generally far longer than they honestly should be. Like almost everyone else, it would be nice if people posted comments more often, but stuff like RSS readers has simply made the blogosphere a very complicated place; I’m just happy to know that friends and colleagues actually take the time to check out and even enjoy the stuff I provide. I swear to God, every time Stephen or Mike from Kotaku or Eric or JC from Tiny Cartridges links to something I dug up or spotlighted, my heart goes a flutter.

Am still trying to figure out if I might try to do anything special for 2010, similar to the Persona art contest that turned out extremely well. Anyhow, I also appreciate the encouragement on this front as well; it’s honestly the prime reason why I even bother to keep updating this place!

- Again, also related: made lots of new friends this year. When you get down to it, all those annoyances I mentioned earlier has been worthwhile, since it’s allowed me to connect with so many truly amazing people out there.

- Was another busy year for doing shows. Not so much with comics (skipped out on SPX, and if this year’s MoCCA turns out to be as much of a train-wreck as this past one was, I’ll be more than happy to pass on that as well), but when it came to talking about games, I was somewhat all over the tri-state area! Though this year’s ICON was most definitely my very last, which I’m more than happy to replace with the New York Anime Fest/New York Comic Con.

- Never did return to Tokyo for Magma 3, but at least I got to head down to Otakon once again. Am debating if I want to try and run a panel there, but am afraid it’ll just get in the way of scoping down girls in Persona 4 cosplay (for pictures, naturally).

- And speaking of soul cancer, got pretty much the greatest birthday present ever this year, from Hilary: a figure of a sexy animu nurse peeing in a bedpan! It’s always nice when friends know me all too well.

- Also finally got a PS3. As expected, pretty much its used for is downloadable titles, plus Metal Gear Solid 4.

- The forum died an unfortunate death over the summer, but was quickly replaced with Version 2.0. It’s not the most happening message board out there, but dammit, it’s still my own little slice of the internet pie and I like it. Of course, there√≠s still plenty of room for anyone that wants in, though please email me if you register, since it√≠s easy for real people to get lost among the sea of spam.

- Delivered an in-depth look at the greatest film that no one has yet to see, aka Canzo Empyrean, which in turn has led me to a massive wild goose chase that I’m still in the midst of (and which I honestly shouldn’t have said anything about as is).

- Speaking of movies, last time it was Fast & Furious 3: Tokyo Drift, and this time I helped spread the joy of joys that is Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. It√≠s nice to be able to say you were there on the ground floor (somewhat) before it becomes the next big thing. Or something like that.

… Oh, and my mother passed away this year as well. That was pretty big, needless to say. And my dad was finally institutionalized. But he’s much better now, thank goodness.

And The Past Ten Years

What a way to end a decade. Not only has this past year been nuts, but so has been the past ten years. A quick list for those who are the least bit interested…

- Held a bunch of jobs: was lead game designer for a major publisher, as well for a very tiny one, my own. Speaking of, had my own company for a little while. Also taught game design at my alma matter, sold swords and fairy-dust to tourists in Times Square, and was a cell phone blogger in Newark. Among other things.

- Almost died of e. coli poisoning. There’s nothing like projectile vomiting and projectile diarrhea-ing at the same exact time. Seriously.

- Had pretty much the craziest girlfriend ever, and as a result have pretty much the craziest ex-girlfriend stories ever. Trust me on this one (or simply wait for the comic book adaptation).

- Speaking of, finally justified my expensive liberal arts college degree by doing a comic. Though perhaps it doesn’t count, since all I do is the writing while friends do all the hard work. At least it’s not your typical whiney auto-bio b.s.

- Met Shigeru Miyamoto, a man who formed a vital component of my childhood. And that was a pretty big deal. As well as an awesome way to kick-start what I mostly do these days (interviewing him was my very first assignment for Nick Mag).

- And along the way, became known as “The Harvey Pekar of video game journalism.” A term which I’m still intensely proud of.

- Hate to bring it up, but 9/11 was a fairly big deal as well, as it would be for anyone who was scared to death that many of his friends were wiped out that day, and had others afraid of the same for himself.

- Was homeless for a while. That too was fairly surreal. Or to be more precise, a harrowing and downright scary experience, but one that was yet oddly exhilarating and which I’m glad to have gone through. You basically learn a lot about one’s self when there’s no home to speak off.

- Got a book deal and ended up totally screwing it up. Again, you live and learn.

- Finally made it out to Disneyland, thanks to Dave Roman. And spent two weeks in Japan, thanks to Joe Simko. Whereas the former was a pleasant trip that fulfilled a long-held childhood wish, the latter was also a dream come true, yet also involved butting heads with cranky, millionaire punk rockers and having a knife shoved in my face my some nervous, maid cafe/bordello operator.

- As noted earlier, found that my true calling in life is to be on a stage, in front of a hundred or so gamer dorks, and screaming at them over their affinity for Final Fantasy/making them gasp via bad Sonic fan-art. Related: discovered one of the true joys of life: free food and hotel accommodations.

- Fell off the grid, culturally speaking, at least on a mainstream level. I was more or less completely raised on television; Saturday morning cartoons, late night night shows, network television sitcoms, saucy after hours premium cable programming, arty-farty PBS faire… you name it, I absorbed it. And now, I hardly watch anything on TV, let alone have cable.

Okay, so what’s so special about all that? Since I’m certain many around my age are in the same boat. Well, when one considers that my main motivation for moving to New York City in the first place was to eventually have my music videos air on MTV along-side my high school Gods Matt Mahurin and Michel Gondry, as well as simply be in the city where Night Court takes place (no joke), it does kinda mean something after-all.

I also used to be super into Hollywood, but thanks to fully embracing independent cinema, no need for all that garbage. And not surprisingly, my knowledge and interest of what’s on the radio is completely zilch, thanks in part to the discovery of stuff like WFMU and the chiptunes scene.

- It’s mostly the world wide web’s fault, which aside from being my bread and butter to a certain extent, has become my primary focus of entertainment and culture. As Joe Simko loves to point out, it was practically made for me!

- And speaking of the internet, despite becoming an early pioneer of online dating, ended up finding true love in the world of indie comics (yet my main reason why I can never fully give that up either). Because sometimes, even though the road is long and winding, as well as somewhat convoluted and messy, you eventually get the girl of your dreams.

- Finally, and more than anything else, I’ve really calmed down over the past decade. Perhaps that just comes with age, though (and I hate be crude, but) the fact that I’m getting laid a whole lot more now than ten years ago is impossible to dismiss! And let that be a lesson to all the children out there, my most important one. Maybe.

… Like most folks, I certainly wish some things had been done differently, but I have relatively few regrets when all is said and done, and am still quite pleased with how things have turned out overall. A more than decent ten years, and thanks to everyone that made it happen! You know who you are.

Okay, enough about me. Time to get into what most folks I’m certain have been expecting…
________________________________________________________________________________

Like last time, the following are the games that stood out from the rest of the pack, at least for me, over the past twelve months. And most folks should not be surprised that it’s not like most end of 09 lists!

For starters, I just haven’t had the chance to check out everything that’s gotten GOTY buzz, primarily the games that I’m fairly certain I would like if given the chance. Like Uncharted 2; only recently started part one, and which I want to beat before tackling the sequel.

But the biggest issue is how the many of the celebrated game that I did manage to test drive have simply not been my cup tea. I’m talking about stuff like Demons’ Souls and Batman: Arkham Asylum; I flat-out do not get their appeal, plus it’s not like either are all that pretty to look at. My tastes have never really jibed with popular consensus, but it just seems more so now than ever before.

It might also be worth mentioning how most of what has stood out this year still pale in comparison to last year’s offerings. Granted, Persona 4 is a pretty tough act to follow, but still. Anyway, on with the list…

Quite Simply, The Top Five Games Of 09:

5. Eliss (iPhone)
If you have an iPhone, or iPod Touch, you basically HAVE to have this game, period. It’s quite simply the best title ever created for the platform (sorry, but as awesome as Canabalt is, it’s originally a computer game and therefore doesn’t count in that regard), and the only one thus far that’s actually gotten multi-touch done right on the money. The fact that it’s so God damn hard is part of it’s charm; never before has a game with such a serene, laid-back atmosphere been simultaneously so nerve-rackingly difficult. It’s also gorgeous to look at and wonderful to see.

4. Mushihime-sama Futari (Xbox 360)
Basically, the new gold standard that all shmups must now be judged upon. For over fifteen minutes, I’ve tried coming up with an eloquent means of explaining why an amazingly awesome shump is indeed amazing awesome, and the closest I could come up with some overly verbose comparison to ballroom dancing. Instead, just watch this video. Either you’ll get it, or you won’t.

3. Bit.Trip Void (WiiWare)
First off, the WiiWare initiative has been a massive bomb thus far to say the least. Most of what’s been released has been just plain boring, and truth be told, most indie offerings across all the major console channels (XBL and PSN included) have also been disappointing. Instead, the real action is over at the PC as usual, but even then, I’m getting a bit tired of the 8-bit esthetics being used nothing more than to evoke pure nostalgia. The Bit Trip series on the other hand has done a brilliant job of infusing the old with the new, but Void takes things to a whole new era. It’s the closest thing to pure art since Rez, and is almost as amazing.

2. New Super Mario Bros Wii (Wii)
I never did get around to writing my big review, did I? Perhaps its a moot point by now, since we all know by now that, somewhat similar to Bit.Trip Void, it’s an astounding re-imaging of a classic, everyone’s favorite SMB3. Though most importantly, no other game before has tested the boundaries of multiplayer, to the point of becoming a social experiment all by itself. Sure, it’s hardly perfect: everyone not only needs to be on the same page, plus be in the same ballpark skill-wise, plus there’s not enough Yoshi. But not since forever has Nintendo thrown caution to the wind in such a manner, with such a hardcore, reputation-saving experience.

1. Flower, Sun, and Rain (DS)
Nope, I’m not kidding. And apologizes for constantly shoving this title down everyone’s throats, but there’s been a good reason for it. Not saying it’s the best playing game of 09, but it is without a doubt the most daring and easily the most interesting (the fact that it’s a remake of an obscure, import only PS2 title makes it all the more awkward and fitting). For those who missed it my review basically explains everything one needs to know. And once more, I absolute do not begrudge anyone whose tried playing FSR and could not get into it. I just feel sorry for them.

UPDATE: Well, at least someone appreciates my choice for number one. And of course it’s Tiny Cartridge!

… Okay, what else?

The Game Most Folks Are Sick And Tired Of Hearing About, But Which I Still Love To Death:

The Beatles: Rock Band (various)
I love Rock Band and I love the Beatles, so a video game that combines the two could not have turned out any better. Never mind it’s historical significance (hence why everyone is so sick of hearing about it, I’m guessing), the thing is a splendid package, from top to bottom. Though the visuals demand special attention for being stylish and classy enough to not only do the Fab Four justice but piss Courtney Love off in the process as well (which most believe is the real reason why she got so pissed off at Activision in the first place). While it still has the main problems that Rock Band has always had in terms of being connecting with the actual music, it’s still a video game first and foremost, and those who still like to bitch should just trying picking up a real guitar and shut up already. And while it remains to be seen how it’ll deal with the rest of their catalogue, I’ve already got “I’ve Got A Feeling”, so I could care less how Eleanor Rigby ends up playing.

The Best Game That No One Has Bothered To Talk About:

You, Me, And The Cubes (WiiWare)
Much like Cubello last time, another WiiWare title that proves that the service is not without merit. It’s almost impossible to describe. Just look it up on YouTube, but the most important thing to note is that it marks the grand return of Kenji Eno (D, Enemy Zero) to the world of console gaming, and I sure as hell hopes he sticks around.

The Game I Can’t Believe I Actually Enjoyed:

Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad Of Gay Tony (Xbox 360)
A GTA that’s actually good? Seriously? Well, the crap driving controls are still there, and to be completely honest, I haven’t even finished the game, but simply had to make mention because, yes, it’s a Grand Theft Auto that I don’t passionately despise. There’s two reasons: first you start the game in Manhattan, and not Brooklyn thank God. But more importantly, the main characters are actually endearing and compelling (dare I say realistic?), and not at all offensive or complete rip-offs of someone from Goodfellas or The Sopranos.

The One Game That I Really, Really Wanted To Like, But Simply Couldn’t:

Muramasa: The Demon Blade (Wii)
The game had it all: gorgeous 2D animation, an animu hottie that gets nude, plus… other stuff. But that lack of a jump button was an absolute deal killer, I’m sorry.

The Game That I Totally Sucked At, But Didn’t Mind Trying Over And Over Again:

Trials HD (XBL)
It’s a hard game as is, but my complete lack of balance and inability to ride a bike in the real world clearly shows through. Yet after every crash, no matter how sudden or often, I can’t help but try again. Never before has screwing up been just as much fun as succeeding; it’s ALL about the wacky ragdoll crash physics.

The Biggest Disappointment: (Two Way Tie)

1. Street Fighter 4 (Xbox 360 & PS3)
I can deal with how the game went back two steps instead of going forward one, by moving away from the brilliant (albeit rather complicated) Street Fighter 3 and doing something closer to what everyone already knows and loves, SF2 Turbo. But why in the hell does everyone have to be so damn ugly? And moving away from the overly painterly look to appease overly fickle SF players proves that sometimes a company should list to its fanbase.

2. King Of Fighters 12 (Xbox 360 & PS3)
Man, where to begin. Well, for starters, where the hell was Mai?

The Game I REALLY Wish Would Came Out Here:

Game Center CX 2 (DS)
It just sucks that the first game didn’t sell enough to warrant a domestic release of the sequel since, cuz as awesome as the first one was, the sequel is ten times better.

The Game I Played The Most That Wasnít From 2009:

Pac-Man: Championship Edition (XBL)
Once again. Managed to achieve my all-time high score a few weeks back, of 303,000, and I have a feeling that most of 2010 will be spent trying to top that.

The Enough Already:

The Dreamcast Homebrew Scene
I hate to say it, but it’s time to let it go. Or, if they’re gonna bother developing for the platform, make sure it’s actually something decent. When news used to hit that another indie developer was keeping the Dream alive, it was cause for celebration. But now it’s become the home of crappy shumps, uninspired driving games, and needless Lumines clones. Wonderful.

The Biggest LOL Of The Year:

The PSP Go
Nuff said!

Were There Any Games That Featured Girls As Hot As Those In Persona 4?

Sadly. no.
Though it was certainly nice seeing Claire Redfield in action once again in Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles.

My Wackiest Prediction For 2010:

Cave Story for WiiWare will never come out.
Don’t ask me why, just a hunch I have.

My Favorite Game Related Video From This Year: (Three Way Tie)

1. The Donkey Kong Country 2 rap.

2. Dude, Snorlax totally owns.

3. A horribly juvenile yet still simply hilarious animated porn clip featuring the cast from SF4. (NSFW)

… There’s a bunch others I’m certain, but going through an entire year’s worth of older posts to sift them out would take too long. Feel free to remind me of anything that I might have forgotten and are better!

Was also going to post a bunch of stuff relating to the past ten years, but to be completely honest, I’m fairly certain I’ve addressed all that I needed to over at Heavy.com. Speaking of, for those who missed them, here are my choices for the ten most underrated games of the decade (well, the original title was the top ten games that no one else was listing in their top ten of the decade lists, but K Thor’s rename works well enough) and the ten biggest things to happen to video games as a whole (which I’m fairly proud of, if I don’t say so myself!).

I’ve also saved the best for last…

The Ten Best Random Videos Of 09:

10. Auto-tune’s achievement of 2009 #1: Alex Trebek.

9. The King of Gay Music.

8. I seriously need to find a source for Nollywood films ASAP.

7. Easily the greatest YouTube hack ever.

6. Sir, the French are about to kick my ass!

5. Watching goth kids dance around town fills my heart with so much joy that I can’t even begin to properly describe it.

4. Turtles Forever!

3. Auto-tune’s achievement of 2009 #2: George Brett.

2. TLO ROLL CALL.

1. And finally, how to survive edged weapons.

HONORABLE MENTION: Because never before has a URL been so eloquent and truthful, all at once. Also, excellent use of female wrestlers and cats.

  • Isfet

    hardcore feelings

    #1 forever

  • http://www.dmauro.com dmauro

    I was drunk and confused and on the wrong side of the camera so I thought I was gonna be the F in Fort90. But that’s okay because it looks like I’m doing some sort of a gun thing, and guns are tough.

  • http://www.dmauro.com dmauro

    Also, Joe’s 9 is backwards too, so if you think about it, it’s really Matt that’s backwards there, he should be a 0 and it would be a proper backwards F90.

Previous post:

Next post: