08/22/2007

The Blood Of The Sinners Must Flow… (Part 1)

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Sorry, I was going to present along some juicy game related talk, but I just had to pass the following along, simply to get it off my chest. Though for the time being, there’s a few topics and links worth checking out over at the forums…

Anyway, remember this post, it will be important in the future, at least when I finally snap and decided to go on a killing spree. Because I will pass along just a few reasons why I’m such a miserable son of a bitch these days.

I’ve always been the angry type. I guess it’s from my father, who has always had a pretty bad temper, and when a person like that raises a child, it almost can’t be helped that some of that will rub off, though other stuff went down as well. But I think for the most part, the primary reason why I’m always pissed off is because, as everyone likes to point out, I’m a shit magnet, plain and simple. Either trouble comes to me, or I get myself into stupid situations, time and time again. Sometimes I can see it coming a mile away (if I was paying attention that is), but the worst is when it happens totally at random. And it does, A LOT. For the most part, I’ve been able to parlay all the shit that’s happened to be into amusing, or at least interesting anecdotes (at least I’d like to think). It’s never easy… yet I try my best to endure.

But these past couple of weeks have been tough, real tough. I honestly can’t remember a time when I’ve been so miserable. To the point that I rage so hard everyday that I’m exhausted half the time. Again, getting old! There’s lots of reasons for this; among other things, my living situation is insanely retarded, which is filled with literally piles of cat feces and a small dog that I seriously want to fucking strangle. I’ve never been busier, yet my output has never been this poor. I’m so behind on so many things that I just get sad this thinking about it. And I’ve never made so much money, yet I flat out cannot save any of it. And my personal life, which was pretty fine and dandy for a while, has also turned upside down as of late. All of which makes the normal, meaningless annoyances, which I suppose I should be used to by now, all the more unbearable. Let’s take at two such things right now:

1. Newark, New Jersey, and NJTransit

So, I really dig my job. I’m pretty fucking good at it too, and I honestly think it shows (wish it was getting more hits, though… well my bosses at least…so please, help me keep my job and spread the word, or the URL). There’s only one big problem: it?s in Newark. Which to be totally blunt, is fucking HELL ON EARTH.

I may bitch about New York and its denizens, but at the end of the day, the Big Apple, and pretty much any other spot on earth has some redeeming qualities. Not Newark. That city is a fucking wasteland on every single level, period. Whomever needs to seriously bomb the hell out of that place. Ever single step I take down the shitty streets is eternal torment, and I simply want someone to just lodge a bullet through my brain. Funny thing is, the chances of that happening are quite high, due to all the murders; I believe when the very first day I started my job, the weekend prior was the 33th killing thus far this year (which led to some shitty mock funeral on the streets or something, which aside from being just plain weird, because someone thought they could make a point by tossing garbage bags filled with stuff and fashioned like bodies around the city, they didn’t do shit). And that number is already way higher; I forget if it was two weekends ago or three where four kids just minding their own business in the park were killed execution style.

You will simply not find a higher ratio or quotient of miserable souls on any given block in any other city in this country, guaranteed. Everyone has clearly given up on life, which is why everyone is on crack and beating the shit out of each other. Its urban decay at its very worst, meaning that its not even that interesting or entertaining. Which lends to this morbidly depressing state of mind, that makes the already difficult task of just finding a decent bite damn near impossible. That’s another problem; there is NOTHING GOOD TO EAT IN NEWARK. I guess if I had a car I could leave the area, which leaves me no real choice other than to walk around the business district, which happens to be right next to the ghetto. Everything if shitty fried chicken or really shitty pizza. There’s a deli near my building, but dear God are the people there fucking retards. One day I order a sloppy joe… and tell me, what’s a sloppy joe? A hamburger bun filled with ground beef and tomato sauce? Not in Newark, New Jersey! It?s a wrap with ham, some weird yellow sauce, and nine pounds of cole slaw. I could go on and on and on…

Getting there is also a real pain in the ass. First I take the subway to Brooklyn to the World Trade Center (which is already made annoying by the fact that the Courtland Street stop on the R is still closed after two plus years of “construction”… if it was open, my morning commute would seriously be cut by 15-20 minutes). After fighting against the throngs of Hoboken-ites leaving the station and going the opposite way, I get on a PATH train to Newark. BTW, everyone who says the PATH trains are just as good, if not better than the subways, are idiots. They both suck. For different reasons, but they both equally suck nonetheless. Anyway, once I reach Newark, I’m at Newark Penn Station, which means I’m about a mile away from my job, so either I can walk or take yet another train, my third one, the light rail to be exact. In the mornings, I chose to walk because it offers me a tiny bit of exercise. But by the end of the day, I just want to get the hell out of the city, so I’ll take the light rail.

This is how the light rail works… First you get a ticket from the ticket machine. Next, you have to validate the ticket before boarding the train. The validator is right next to the ticket machine, and validation lasts for exactly one hour. So you have to buy a ticket before boarding, even though its not used to actually get inside or onto the platform, like the subway or PATH train. But it?s not like a normal train eitehr because there are no conductors to check your ticket. But you are told that you have to show it if someone asks to see it, and it has to be “valid” (meaning its been validated beforehand) so it?s almost like the honor system. I’ve been using the light rail regularly since May and have yet to see one of these light rail conductors or officials. At least till very recently…

Remember how I mentioned last time that lightening struck my train? Well on Friday after work, I had just missed one train (oh, its a bit hard to explain, but trust me, the light rail’s schedule is extremely obnoxious), so I purchased a ticket, got it stamped, and waited for the next one, which would have been in ten or so minutes. Then all of a sudden it began to rain super hard all of sudden. And along with all the water was thunder and lightening. I was just standing there, talking on the phone, when all of a sudden I heard a very loud boom. Lighting had struck near me. What did it hit? The very next train, which was heading my way, not too far off. I didn’t see it happen, but I did hear the strike, and a few seconds later, I noticed that my train was in the distance, but just sitting there. I waited, and waited, and waited…

Once the rain subsided a bit, I decided to walk over to the train to see what the deal was. The lights were off, and people were pouring out of it. A cop also rolled up at that moment. I talked with a guy that came out of the train, and he said that it was struck by lightening. Pretty wild, but no one was hurt. I then shifted my attention to the driver, so explained that the train was dead. When I asked if there would be another train, the driver had no clue herself. So there was no other option than to walk to Penn Station, in the rain (at this point, it was only drizzling, though the streets were still flooded, which made getting around a real pain).

The following Monday, earlier this week, I again walked to work in the morning. And at the end of the day, I again decided to take the light rail to Penn Station. But because I had a ticket from the Friday before, which was technically unused, I decided to get my money’s worth. So I put it in the ticket validator, which stamped it a new time over the old one, got on the train, and was on my way. And for the first time ever, upon rolling into the station, there were two dudes, two transit cops, checking tickets. Great.

They asked to see everyone’s, and of course, mine was suspect. It was double stamped, which meant I had committed a crime, so a ticket was written out for me. I explained what had happened on Friday, and why I used an old ticket again, the guy didn’t give a shit. He simply told me I was wrong, and whenever telling me so, he addressed me as “sir” in the most condescending way possible. And the tone used was clearly to show me who was boss. I guess if you’re a fucking traffic cop (actually, he wasn’t even really a cop; he didn’t have a badge or a gun or anything like that) for NJTransit, you are going to take any opportunity to abuse what little power you have in a pathetic attempt to justify one’s existence. But anyhow, yeah, I broke the law, so maybe I deserved to pay the ridiculous $75 fine. Or maybe not; I figured that I had a valid excuse and wanted to state my case. And here’s where things become bullshit…

So I said that I wanted to state my case, and the officer told me that I could by going to court, but that I should keep in the mind that “more than likely” I will still be found guilty, and in that case, the fine will be doubled. Excuse me? So basically, in a not so smooth way, I was told, don’t fucking bother, otherwise we’ll totally fuck you up the ass. That’s not just wrong, that’s flat out illegal. And when I brought this up, he literally said “tell it to the judge”. Needless to say, I was livid.

The next morning, I was at Penn Station again, waiting for the next train to work; the weather was still shit, hence the decision to be lazy. Again, NJTransit fare inspectors were on the scene. They checked my ticket… which naturally was nice and fresh and just validated, only once…. and then I decided to ask some questions. I explained what had happened the day before, the dude I was speaking with, who I immediately knew wasn’t a fucktard, clearly had the “sorry pal, but…” attitude. That was till I told him about the part about being told that I had not better try protesting, otherwise I’d pay double the price. “Um, yeah. That’s not necessarily true,” was his response. His buddy explained that if the judge wanted to, he could fine me $1,000, but I would have to totally deserve it, like if I was causing a fist fight on the stand. But in my case, especially with my excuse, which to both guys seemed totally understandable, I would more than likely get let off. Provided I had proof of what happened on Friday actually did. The solution to that those was pretty easy: simply go to the information desk and ask for a statement that showed that service was disrupted.

And that’s what I did, earlier today after work. Went to the info desk and stated what I needed, as well as the reason. Figured it would be easy as pie. Of course not. The bitch on the other side of the glass was clearly annoyed that she was being asked to do something that required her to get off her gimongous ass. She stated to me that she had to check and see if any customers complained about a lack of service on Friday. Okay… but what if there were no complaints? Because, even if there were no complaints, that doesn’t mean something didn’t happen. Not according to this woman, who was immediately pissed off that I could dare question her. After some noticeably half-hearted “checking” she couldn’t find any records. And that was that, at least in her mind. I then questioned how a major transit system could have NO records of one of their trains being off line due to a weather problem in the middle of rush hour, which was bad enough to strand customers, as well as get the police involved. She then got really pissed at me and took down my information. And what really set her off is how I basically wondered out loud if she was actually going to call her manager and have him or her get back to me, or just throw it all away once I left her sights (hey, I worked customer service, I know what fucking really happens).

I then decided to talk to the police, since they were on the scene and must have some kind of record to back up my story, right? I ran into a cop patrolling the station and explained my situation and my need for the report. And was told that if there was one, then its not privy to the public. Awesome, just awesome. And WTF. Though he did sympathize and offered a solution; to check NJTransit.com for information regarding the incident, which should be up there. And of course, its not.

So now what? Go in without any “proof” of what happened actually happened, and risk getting the fine doubled? Of course that won’t happen! Right? Besides my story is sound. Well, considering that the last time I was in front of a judge, which was also in New Jersey, to get a restraining order against my crazy girlfriend at the time, and was not only denied despite having a rather compelling case, but was literally made up fun off while at the stand for the judge’s own shits and giggles (and the poor woman ahead of me didn’t get her’s either, against her husband, who was actually in attendance, despite his shit eating grin and all the bruises on her face, plus the broken arm she had). So I’m almost certain that bullshit will go down once again. But I simply cannot put my tail between my legs on this issue…. And people wonder why I can’t seem to get shit done these days.

I had another long tirade, this one against Best Buy, but I’ll save that one for tomorrow.

  • http://www.johngreenart.com John

    Check newspapers/online sites for reports of the train being hit by lightning or the service outage. When Marion had to dispute a ticket because turnstiles weren’t working, her evidence was a copy of a mention of it in the newspaper, so the judge dropped the charge.

  • http://www.jennydevildoll.com Jenny G.

    The trains are shit these days. What does a train getting struck by lightning sound like? Sorry you’re going through such a rough time lately.

  • Slonie

    > What does a train getting struck by lightning sound like?

    Another day in Matt’s life?

    Seriously though, sorry for the shittiness. I forget, have you always lived in the NYC area? I mean, I do realize that shit probably follows you around no matter where you are, but I’m curious! And sorry if you told me or your blog and I forgot.

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