09/30/2011

Of Things Not To Do Naked, Smashing Hard Drives Is Surely On That List

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

Well, it’s the end of the week, and the end of the month, so now’s a good time as any for an update, one might suppose. BTW, apologizes in advance for jankier than usual grammar; my Mac is currently devoid of Word, which often helps to lessen the blow and embarrassment, somewhat. But which I am currently without, for reason I’m about to explain?

Once Again, I Love Technology, But Dear God, Technology Hates My Me With A Passion

Anyone who follows me on Twitter is well aware of my struggles with Lion. My MacBook Pro was operating flawlessly until I was stupid enough to upgrade, despite everyone saying “what are you: retarded, a masochist, or both?” And I paid the price by becoming a willing victim of, without a doubt, the buggiest POS OS that Apple has ever produced.

And don’t get me started on all the ridiculous logic and design inconsistencies. True, version .0 of anything will have issues, but this is ridiculous. Tiger, Leopard, and Snow Leopard had irregularities, but they were just that, irregularities, not system crushing issues. Also, .1 of Lion sure as hell ain’t all that much better.

Anyhow, it came to a point in which my technical difficulties became so absurd that I had to seek professional help. Especially since my year long “complimentary” Apple Care was almost up. And those who were around Twitter last weekend knows already the hell that I went through. Long story short, the Apple Store “Geniuses” were just as inept and rude as I had anticipated, though even I couldn’t have predicted three trips in a single 24 hour timespan.

They basically misdiagnosed a hardware issue, which led to them needlessly removing my MacBook Pro’s internal hard drive. Then came efforts to migrate data to the new internal HD from an external one, via Time Machine, which was also dying. BTW, the external was also relatively new and working flawlessly, up until? you guessed it? Lion got involved. Here’s a fun-fact: not a single Apple employee I spoke with has Lion installed on their home Macs, nor do they trust Time Machine. Telling, don’t you think?

Their method of migration, which took like five hours to execute btw, didn’t work all that well because supposedly everything was corrupted. It was also noted that USB 2.0 HDs are not that great and prone to failures due to Time Machine being so aggressive with the constant writing and re-writing of data. Despite the fact that they have an entire part of the store that’s nothing but and for sale. Hilarious. I was also told plenty of other ridiculous things, though their attitudes is what pissed me off the most.

This one Genius simply couldn’t understand how removing a perfectly fine internal hard drive, which never really exhibited any real issues, resulted in huge pain in the ass. It was claimed that swapping it back in was easy as hell? which I’m sure is the case? but why in the hell should I have to waste the time and effort on their screw up? It was also suggested that I could simply get an enclosure. Again, more time and now money being wasted because of them.

Sure they’re like “only” $10 via Newegg, not including shipping. When I said that I needed to access my data ASAP, the Genius brought up overnight shipping, like it doesn’t cost and arm and a leg. Ultimately had to roam around the city to find one, which was not easy on a Sunday night, let me tell you. Ended up with one from Best Buy for like $70. lulz. BTW, why did they’s just reinsert the old HD into my Mac? They just didn’t want to. “You just got a second hard drive, what’s the problem?” Well, I didn’t want another one, I just wanted my machine to work, period.

So why the hesitation? They were not supposed to give me back my original HD, it’s against policy. Guess they felt stupid for the mistake made, hence the bending of the rules. Though re-opening my Mac would have set off too many red flags, I gather, so at that point, they just wanted me out of their hair. Oh, and not only was their data migration ineffective, but my administrative password was hosed. So basically, all that time spent was in vein, plus I had to blow even more time and bandwidth re-downloading Lion!

I also love how troubleshooting and OS management in general has been made so much more difficult, so the second time re-installing Lion didn’t erase the previous account. Which resulted in yet ANOTHER three hours wasted downloading and installing. Much of the weekend was basically robbed by Apple’s inane cloud computing mechanism. I could go on and on, but basically, if you haven’t done so, do not install Lion. It’s an absolute horror show that not only doesn’t work properly and brings new things to the table that is genuine nonsense, but it also risks damaging your Mac as well, no lie.

In the end, I was able to migrate everything from the old internal to the new one, via the enclosure (which I intend to return since I could use that $70 in so many better ways), and also move all the non Time Machine content onto my back-up external, plus have written off Time Machine once and for all (which I still recommend for Leopard and Snow Leopard users btw; it’s the whole Versions thing in Lion that messes things up). But that meant a bum drive that I had to destroy, which I totally tried doing in a not so smart fashion. Oh well, lesson learned.

? BTW, I absolutely love how some though I was totally making thing up, about me trying to smash a hard drive to bits while naked. I never joke about such things. K, enough talk about computers, how about instead?

Girls, Girls, Girls

Hopefully everyone’s been keeping abreast of the totally awesome stuff (if I don’t say so myself) I’ve been posting on GSW, especially this past week. I’ll present another rundown of stuff that folks might have missed in a while, though real quick, I’m still mostly proud of the revelation that Kirby 64 takes place on a post-apocalyptic earth. Yes, just like in Adventure Time.

But it’s the stuff I’m producing over at Guyism that’s been getting the most chatter. Mostly due to my focus on “hot chicks” who are so adamant about being legit diehard gamers. Not to brag, but I was the first to break word that Tiger Wood’s porn star mistress would be playing her ex-boy toys video game, live on the internet, and topless.

And that aforementioned article got enough circulation to attract the attention of the Playboy model I mention, and whose gaming cred I cast doubt upon, Jo Garcia. Long story short, she’s determined to prove that affinity for gaming is genuine and not just some lame ass attempt to pander to “nerds”, so I’m going to be interviewing during an online Xbox Live session of something, still don’t know what. And that could be interesting, perhaps.

Meanwhile, on a completely different note, I had dinner with a gal pal? who shall remain nameless? and during dinner she brought up her experiences with being a sorority sister, one that was ultimately kicked out of her house, and it was the most batsh*t insane thing I had ever heard. Mostly due to the initiation rites, which involved real deal Freemasonry/Illuminati hijinks. Secret handshakes, reciting of gobbledygook, and drinking of rat poison. Not a lot, not enough to kill you, but enough to put you in a haze, since it’s supposed to cloud ones mind, make it all like a dream.

Well my friend ended up drinking too much, which led to her blacking out; when she woke up, she was told that she been running around the campus parking lot, naked. Which ultimately led to events that resulted in her expulsion. Including some in-fights with several sisters. I forget if they wore special dresses or not, because if they did, then it totally sounds like that scene from Manos The Hands Of Fate in which all his wives are going at it. So hawt. And once again: women love to hate each other.

Another case in point: that horrible new NBC show about the dopey chick, Whitney, has come up in conversation an awful lot this past week along. Can’t blame all my female friends for being so annoyed with yet another created by committee notion of an “every woman” that’s anything but. It’s almost as bad as that trailer for some comedic chick flick in which one of the characters goes “We don’t like doggie style? seriously, we DON’T. Women might say that do, but we totally do not.” Yeah right. Again, women hate other women!

? In-joke btw. Oh also, here’s something even more cryptic: finally got a book, written by this woman who details certain activities that are, you could say, sexually tinged. And in a memoir fashion, so I’m looking to see if I’m included! No, we didn’t have sex with her, that wasn’t her line of work, but again? I’ve said too much!

But No Ice T

Went to the Gears Of War 3 launch release party. I’ll be honest: the only reason why I even bothered was because of Ice T. Not to bitch about work, but it was implied that he’s be in attendance, though given how connected he had been for the past couple of months, it was practically a given regardless.

Here’s the deal: I’ve met a lot of “famous” folks over the years, and have always kept it totally professional, like a cucumber. Believe it or not, but when I met Shigeru Miyamoto, I did not go into full-on Nintendo fanboy mode as most might in my position. But for Ice, I actually brought along my copy of the first Body Count album for him to autograph (which I would normally NEVER do).

It was my very first CD, acquired before I even had a CD player! Was always going to get it, but the album being pulled due to the Cop Killer controversy necessitated a hasty purchase. Which in turn led me on a wild goose chase that ended up at the most ghettotastic record joint in Tacoma, WA. Was the only white person in miles (which is saying a lot, considering how whitbread the entire state is).

Well, one of two; my dad was less than thrilled with taking me to such an establishment. But the folks at the store were really nice! And had a surprisingly decent heavy metal section. I actually left my apartment super early, because I’d be damned if I’d be late due to rush hour subway traffic, and of course, I’d get totally caught in some burt pipe or what not.

Which led to the absolute most abysmal response to an unforeseen? well, anything really, by the MTA that I have personally witnessed. The way they were herding people around like cattle and their refusal to answer any questions made one honestly believe that there was something serious going on. It was that bad. And no, there wasn’t a terrorist attack, they were just being extra dicks.

And needless to say, I was fuming to hear that Ice wasn’t in the building, and instead, the musical guest for the night was some other guy who I won’t even bother to try and remember. I was also legit shocked to see, via Twitter, that he was instead seeing the crappy Straw Dogs remake that night instead. Though it was later explained that he had an early morning at the SVU set. Fair enough.

Instead I interviewed the producer from GoW, which was okay I guess. Cliffy B, whom I had last seen at my Heavenly Symphony opening last year, was also there, but super busy, so I left him alone. As for the rest of the night, mostly just hung out, played a little bit of the game, and enjoyed some free drinks. The usual. Though I did run into an old friend, one that I totally didn’t expect to see again in about a billion years.

Remember how I was once the assistant manager of Medieval Times? Well, the reason how I got the gig was because I was pals with the princess at the castle (seriously). And whom I had lost touch with. Long story short, she was there, because she hosts some kind of talk show for video game personalities, and I’m going to be a guest in a few weeks! Stay tuned for details.

Dead Wrestlers

I also recently caught some live pro-wrasslin’ with Steve. It was a Ring of Honor show, at the Hammerstein Ballroom, aka the Manhattan Center. I forget if I’ve mentioned it already, but my interest in sports entertainment was recently reignited by the CM Punk angle earlier this summer, like for so many others.

Though I’m still way into things, despite the WWE totally dropping the ball. Mostly by hunting down old Japanese matches via YouTube. The new ROH show has also helped. I’m also seeing and hearing about it more in general, or so it would seem. Like the Dead Wrestler Society art show. Here’s a few of my faves?

And Star Wars

Time for some odds & ends?

- My new fave thing? Infinite Trench Run By Takashi Aoki & Alexander Peverett:

I wanted to write about it for GSW, until I realized that it was from the movie and not the original Star Wars arcade game. Sorry, but in my old age, my senses are getting dulled. BTW, regarding the Blu-rays, I’m just as offended as everyone else, but at this point, I think it would be hilarious if Lucas actually updated the movies every three months. Why the hell not at this point, right?

- I’ll just say it: I sorta want to see Wolverine as a trainer to Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots movie. Sorry.

- This is basically my new favorite thing ever: Japan’s ultra creepy commercials for McDonalds of all things.

- And guess what: I might be designing Facebook games very soon. More on that as it develops as well.

- Has everyone gotten the chance to check out the fort90forums ver 3.0 yet? Sadly, I’ve been so busy that I’ve hardly had time to give it much love myself. Thankfully there’s already a decent amount of Emma Watson pics to be found. Also, be sure to check out the wacky pick of some semi-naked girl being comforted by a white Optimus Prime before it gets yanked for being NSFW!

- And my new favorite album is something by Chris Burke? well before he became the chiptune sensation that everyone knows him as today. Or the host of This Spartan Life for that matter. Last night I went to see foci+loci with by pal Bill and his pal Bill (whom I’m also technically friends with at this point). Bill number two asked if we were familiar with Idioglossia, since Bill number one and I are pals with Chris and all. We were not. Turns out, it’s a critically acclaimed record he produced back in 1989, which we had no idea existed! Some friends we are, I know.

And wouldn’t you also know, later that night, him and Tamara performed two pieces from that album; last night’s show was actually helped put together by Mode Records, which also published Idioglossia. Aside from the two taking their act to a whole new level (it was by far the tightest, most technically impressive performance yet), it resulted in my first CD purchase in like two years! I hate trying to describe music, but if you dig Negativland, The Residents, all that kind of stuff, then Chris’s masterful blending of samples is easily up there with his masterful blending of Game Boy audio.

This Saturday, In Williamsburg

This upcoming weekend is APE in San Francisco, which a couple of my best buds will be doing, namely Hilary and Adam. Meanwhile, and seemingly out of nowhere, I’ll be doing a show myself here in NYC! Brooklyn to be exact.

For those who missed the original heads up in the news section of this site, I’ll be at Pete’s Mini Zine Fest, which runs 2-7 tomorrow all-day long, in Williamsburg. For more info, simply hit the updated Facebook event page. An no, I will not have the brand issue for sale, which I’m still working on!

Instead, it’ll be #2 & 3 for those who have yet to pick up a copy. Or just swing on by and say hello. I think admission is free? I’ll more than likely be next to Kyle. Come here us talk about the virtues of Turn A Gundam!

Previous post:

Next post: