02/23/2010

Jesus Had A Thirteenth Apostille, And His Name Was “Adult Baby”

by Matthew Edward Hawkins

In this post:
1. The joys of being sick and not having health insurance.
2. For who might have missed anything during my last week at Tiny Cartridge.
3. The You Testament.
4. And Jerry Seinfeld X Gundam.

First off, greetings to all my new readers! It would seem that my two week stint at Tiny Cartridge was a rip-roaring success, one that brought in a massive influx of curiosity seekers, or those simply wanting a bit more of my overly verbose, plus way too heavy on the visuals style of blogging, which has more or less become my trademark. People always ask why I simply don’t go with more frequent/not as dense/all around easier to digest posts, and my basic response is: why? And ruin a good gimmick? Though I must admit, the change in format and structure that writing for TC brought with it has made me reconsider a few things…

Unfortunately, whenever there’s been a massive upswing in visitors, any appropriate follow-up has been usually nonexistent. At least with the advent of RSS readers, I’m hoping most have saved the link for when something does pop up. So, what’s the excuse this time? Actually, been really ill these past couple of days. The exact cause is unknown, but it all started when I ventured in the hell that is Williamsburg this past Saturday night, and I have zero problems blaming the dipsh*t hipsters that reside there for something else. At least some good did come from that evening, but I’ll get to that in just a moment.

Anyhow, since then, I’ve been more or less passed out (some of my sickness induced dreams have been totally awesome, though most have been on the so weird that it’s annoying side, mostly due to the fact that they just go and on and on, with zero pay-off in the end), and when I’m awake, severe dizziness, pounding headaches, bodyaches, and nausea has kept me at bay, unable to do anything remotely productive. It’s sad when sitting on the computer wears you out. So apologizes for anyone out there that I owe an email to. The worst part has been wondering if I’m in bad enough shape to warrant a trip to the emergency room, despite the total lack of health insurance. Thankfully, Katie found a clinic for those who are poor/uninsured like myself, which I’ll be going to tomorrow. And my appetite is slowly returning, though due to the lack of nourishment over these past couple of days, I feel super weak and wobbly. Plus my head’s still all jumbled (wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m suffering from migraines, but just a few notches below) and the sensation that I’m gonna puke at any given moment persists (with the worst part being how I only wish I could throw up, cuz then I might actually feel better, but my body won’t let me and I don’t feel like sticking my fingers down my throat, at least not yet). BTW, thanks for all the concerns and well wishes, via Facebook, email, or by phone! You know who you are.

Well, with all that in mind, gonna keep is short and sweet like before. And like last time, for the regular readers out there who might have missed any of it, highlights from my second week at Tiny Cartridge! Including…

- Proof that every boardroom meeting would be made 1000% more tolerable if puppets were involved. Also, Noby Noby Boy for the iPhone (which btw, is hella awesome, though it would seem that anyone whose using anything other than a iPhone 3GS should not bother, at least until it gets patched).

- Once again, very awesome Persona 4 fan art

- A heads up regarding the domestic release of the KORG DS-10 Plus, though it was mostly an opportunity to profess my love for Nobuyoshi Sano, aka “Sanodg”.

- A totally hawt custom Anamanaguchi Game Boy.

- Hey, a reason for me to give a rat’s ass about Super Street Fighter 4 at long last!

- Once again, recycled material from this blog, this time centering on a favorite piece of mine from Nickelodeon Magazine (RIP).

- Yet another reason why I am depressed as hell that I will not be making it out to San Fran and the GDC this year.

- Some more Sanodg love, this time involving a KORG DS-10 supergroup, consisting of Yasunori Mistuda and a guy from The Black Mages on a “DS-tar”?

- As well as another taste of Anamanaguchi, this time an 8-bit dance track, the result of a 48 hour challenge, taken up by the drummer, who calls himself Knife City.

- I’ll be honest; I’m bummed out that my discovery of how PaRappa The Rapper figures will never happen did not generate any buzz whatsoever. Oh well.

- Space Invaders, in my neighborhood

- What’s better than Klonoa and Katamari guest starring in a RPG? The car from Daytona USA in a fighting game, of course, duh.

- Something else that many missed the first time around, and for the ladies out there. Primarily those that love fashion, and Pokemon.

- Of all my updates, I’m perhaps the proudest of of the following, because I managed to combine an old (yet super cute) PSone ad, a Daily Radar shout-out, a mention of Rez, both Raina Lee’s zine plus her love for Typing Of The Dead, and with the grand return of Meat Bun in just one single post!

- Finally, an ultimately self-indulgent look at my personal collection of video game related curiosities, which I still hope is of potential interest to the rest of the world…

… I simply cannot reiterate enough how much fun it was guest blogging, even when I got several complaints that my posts were “not tiny enough”! On the flip side, being told that I was “[a giant] in the niche game blogging scene” who “should be respected, if not feared” by Eric is like the nicest compliment one could ever hope to receive. Perhaps even more so than being called the Harvey Pekar of video game journalism!

Meanwhile, and elsewhere, if I had to pick and choose just one Heavy dot come post to highlight, it would have to be my spotlight on the genius that is Mat Dickie, who dares to tell the greatest story every told, via the greatest game you’ve never played, at least not yet. It’s no exaggeration; the video that illustrates my point is quite easily the most insane thing ever, guaranteed.

Back to Saturday night, despite all the annoying hipster scum and flat out douchebags I had to deal with on the train, and on the bus, and on the streets (long story short, went out to Dave Mauro’s to play some games, but since the G train wasn’t running, the only way to Greenpoint was to take the L to Williamsburg and then a bus; there were also a**holes at the bar as well, but this was in Greenpoint, around the corner from Dave’s, in which my seat was stolen by some uptight and entitled pregnant women… again, a pregnant woman at a bar), much fun was still had that evening, mostly due to The You Testament, which myself, Dave, and Joe Salina all took turns playing. Joe could not stop lamenting out loud what a horrible game it was, whereas Dave could not stop exclaiming how awesome it was.

It’s actually become an obsession of Katie’s, who simply cannot stop watching assorted YouTube videos of the game in motion, plus it’s a regular discussion point with Pat, who has been playing the game for days now, ever since he first caught my initial report. And via the forums comes dmauro’s epic post on the subject; I sorta prefer his first character’s name, Adult Baby, but Judas Priest is equally fine…

So yeah, for you new folks out there, I also have a message board. Truth to be told, it’s not the biggest, nor the most active online community you’ll find. It’s simply a place for me and some of my friends, so at the very least, no one?s a jerk or anything like that. It’s also where you’re going to find…

… I’ll pass on highlights from the other popular thread on the forum, the awesome random videos one, for the time being. But one last thing! Also just updated the Life Meter blog, and the latest entry is all about Lamar

  • http://dmauro.com dmauro

    Adult Baby was a pretty great off the cuff creation, but his story was different, so I needed a new character. I’ll make sure to chronicle my next play through too. I want to get some magic Jesus powers.

  • https://www.fort90.com fort90

    Yeah, has anyone been able to figure out how to fly just yet?

    Pat, you reading this?

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