March 2008

03/27/2008

TYPE OR DIE!

by Matthew Hawkins

Just a quickie update, for real…

Yesterday was a pretty decent day, despite being sick: first off, my shirts from Meat Bun arrived! I got three in total, the SUPER/NEO/MEGA/TURBO tee that I showed last time, The Four shirt, and cuz I still have a hard-on for Typing of the Dead, the Type or Die shirt. Each came in totally hawt plastic slipcases, similar to how they do it in Japan (so Meat Bun means SERIOUS BUSINESS). Which means I’ll actually feel bad for taking them out! I was actually going to take pics last night BTW, but got caught up in stuff. Anyjow, I plan on wearing each loud and proud at ICON in a few weeks.

Also in my mail was my Wii! Needless to say, I was ecstatic. Though when I checked out the report that Nintendo enclosed, I became more than a little confused and concerned; apparently, the Nintendo repair people were unable to replicate the problems I had reported, so they replaced the main circuit board. Which is fine and all, but I was under the impression that my problem originated from the graphics processor, which was what was replaced on Dave Mauro’s system (he had the same exact weird glitches). Does anyone know if the GPU is part of the main circuit board, integrated, or a separate unit? Hence why I was afraid of the worst before finally powering it up, but the problem is gone, thank goodness. And Dave’s “welcome back!” message that immediately popped up was really nice. Though from this point on, I’m going to be a little bit paranoid of it over-heating and the such.

So right after work, I tossed aside my original plans to go furniture shopping for a trip to the game store to get Super Smash Bros Brawl, which they thankfully had. And as soon as I got home, and after Katie was done with the episode of Trailer Park Boys she was watching, WE GOT IT ON! Via Brawl I mean. I also played some of solo stuff, primarily the classic adventure mode, which I don’t find nearly as fun as it was in Melee, but otherwise, everything is much bigger and better. Though don’t take me word for it… especially since I haven’t spent all that much time with it…. take Dave’s, who is actually prepping up a review of the game, which I guaran-damn-tee will be the DEFINITIVE SSB Brawl review to ever hit the web. Wait for it!

And of course, just as I got a ping from Dave to join in on a match (him and some folks needed a fourth), the dancer finally showed up. Oh, so the third pretty cool thing from yesterday was that I sold my eMac! To some dancer from Harlem. Guy was a tall black dude with a red beard and a funny hat according to Katie, though I didn’t notice at the time. Another nervous moment was when I ran a Apple Hardware Test disc right before he arrived, which I hadn’t done before, and was afraid of some major red flag coming up, right on the brink of another sale, though thankfully everything checked out. Didn’t get much for it I’m afraid… I’m pretty certain I got more for my old G3 iMac, which I sold to some snotty asshole photographer for his “retard son” (hey his words, not mine… again, the dude was an asshole)… but considering it’s a four year old machine, using a processor whose line is no longer the primary focus of Apple’s (and to think, we all thought the G5 would go long and far, till the G6′s arrival), with a OS that is no longer the new hotness (even at this early stage, Leopard does fix a lot of the more annoying things that Tiger did, even after, what, eleven updates?), a paltry amount of video ram, as well as super slow USB 1.2, plus has one of the first reputations of any recent era Macs, I should be happy that I got anything in the end. And I’m also grateful that no incident too place; he could have easily murdered us both. Though I will have to see him again, later tonight; the AC cord to the machine was accidentally left behind.

Back to the Wii; now that it’s back, Brawl will surely dominate all my free-time, though I’m also eager to finish No More Heroes as well (if anyone can offer advice on how to handle the one-legged, grenade chucking lady boss, it would be greatly appreciated). And just in time, because I have sorta given up on Echochrome, which was the one title I’ve been concentrating on for the past week or so, and which I was gonna write about last time, but totally forgot to…

Once again, Echochrome is that M.C. Escher looking title for the PSP. The concept is pretty sound; its a puzzler that relies heavily on perspective and optical illusions. The game has a figure that resembles a wooden drawing model walking along a path, back and forth; when it comes to the end, the figure simply turns the other way. The goal of each level is direct him towards a certain part of the stage is more or less inaccessible, generally another platform that separated by a gap, as well as distance and height. Because you can’t directly control the figure, nor can it climb or jump on its own, the challenge is to get it from point A to B by manipulating the level itself. To do this, one has to play around with the five “rules” that govern the game’s universe. FAKE EDIT: And instead of explaining them like I’ve tried to in the last thirty minutes with much confusion, how about everyone just take a look at this video once again, since each of the rules is completely illustrated in the first forty seconds.

The game simply looks and sounds amazing. Obviously, the graphics are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but I absolutely love the minimalist look, which handles the gameplay brilliantly. To be honest, Echochrome is not so different from Crush, but that game has such annoying and ugly aesthetics that it literally made me not want to go near it. In addition to the visuals, the soundtrack, which is mostly violins and violas, is also phenomenal. As for the game itself, I’m not certain what version I’ve been playing, since there’s a few variants that have been released in parts of Asia thus far, but the one I’ve been playing offers a good number of challenges to tackle right from the get-go, all of them pretty damn tough. This is not a puzzle game for the faint of heart. But I do love a good challenge, hence why I loved Echochrome… at first. Problem is, either there’s a hidden six rule that is never spoken off or the game has bugs. Not always, but sometimes your dude will fall off when there’s supposed to be a connected path that was “created” by moving things around; I thought the figure was supposed to just go back and forth when coming to the end of a path? Also, getting stuff to connect is not always easy, and as Dave puts it, that might have something to do with the poor resolution of the PSP when compared to the PS3′s version. I have to wonder if it suffers from these same problems, primarily the last one. Still, I hope the does well, as all the quirky, “bite-sized” games that Sony is supporting, like flOw and Everday Shooter, plus like flOw, I’m glad there’s both a PS3 and PSP version. Now, if they would just do a portable version of Everyday Shooter…

I also recently discovered that I have roof access at my building! I immediately considered about taking THE PARTY up there, but since it’ll still be cold by then, I guess later this summer. BTW, while Katie was taking a smoke and I was getting some fresh air last night, we witnessed a pretty strange scene, even for New York City; going down 181 St were two trucks towing something massive: each had a subway car! And all along the route, police cops were escorting the haul and halting traffic if need be it. As for the cargo, since it was late and dark out, plus we were sorta far away, neither of us couldn’t make out any details… though they did not appear to be the new ones, so it’s not like two fresh off the factory floor subway cars were being taken to join the rest of the fleet, or so it felt. Given the high degree of security that surrounded them, I kinda get the feeling that perhaps they were evidence? Anyhow, the procession was slow enough to make me think about rushing down to the street with a camera, but as soon as they hit Broadway, both trucks made a right and disappeared…

Anyhow, Katie and I have also agreed that we will not be acquiring an illegal cable box anytime soon, because Manhattan cable access is providing more than enough entertainment. Seriously. Two nights ago we saw some bizarre sketch comedy show starring a really cute girl and a very sassy gay guy. One of the sketches took place at a movie theater, with the aforementioned folks playing assorted movie theater employees, plus a second girl as a retarded, uni-brow ticket handler. All the customers were actually drawings that were super imposed… you just have to see it to understand the brilliance… man, I really wish there was a way to easily snap screenshots from my television. Especially for this other show that I caught late last night, all in Chinese, about the end of the world. Remember the date folks: 2012.

But anway, since I just updated two days ago, there’s not too much to report from the forums, which has been somewhat slow, on account of everyone being busy, or not too much going on, I think, but anyhow…

- I guess I should mentioned that the official ICON 27 thread has been updated with the tentative schedule, so scroll to the very bottom to figure out what’s going on exactly.

- Also, scroll to the bottom of this thread for videos of Shredz64, which features Jeroen Tel!!!

- Once again, another game I can’t play cuz I’m on a Mac (at least, for the moment) which sounds pretty neat.

- Jones Soda Company enlisting the help of LOLcats? Ugh…

- Call me a pathetic Star Wars fanboy, but I just found the Cloud City desk-lamp not just cheesy but also a tad bit upsetting.

- I miss Wally George.

Finally, just stumbled across the latest greatest video of all time, at least if you’re a fan of Tron, and was going to add this to the random videos thread, but while I’m here…

… Hey, my first embed!

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First things first: my eMac is alive and breathing! Yes, I have brought it back from the dead! My leet Mac skills have been once again reaffirmed and validated.

So, how’d I do it? I decided this past weekend to give it one final stab, before going ahead with an autopsy to strip away all the still good parts for sale. As stated previously, the hard drive was actually still functional, it just had no idea what it was and where it was, hence why it wouldn’t accept any attempts at formatting the machine. On a whim, I decided to loan it another eMac’s system folders, the ones belonging to Katie’s; despite not being the same machines spec wise (her system is one generation behind, with a slightly faster processor, slightly different ram, and faster USB bus), I figured it was close enough to give it a shot. I tried copying over the system, library, and application folders to a portable hard drive, but encountered permissions problems, so I then used Carbon Disk Copy, as suggested by Slonie, and that worked! I next moved all that over to my MacBook, then attached the eMac via a FireWire cable, and then booted that system as a FireWire drive (you hold the “t” key while powering up, for those who might be curious). Next I copied over Katie’s eMac’s system folders, which were accepted, then re-booted the machine off a Tiger install disc; I tried using the software install disc that came with my computer, but that didn’t work, and panicked a bit, and hoped for the best with Tiger… my eMac shipped with Panther btw… oh, and I would find out that it didn’t work the first time because I was accidentally using an Airport Extreme installation, which looked exactly alike! Anyway, things were looking fine when I ran Disk Utility and initiated another wipe with a seven zero passed with my fingers crossed. And it took! I next went ahead with the Tiger installation, and BAM! My computer, it still functions!

Now I can slap some software on it and sell that sucker on Craigslist for a much needed cash injection. As nice it is to have such a dear old friend back, I also need to have Smash Bros Brawl handy when my Wii comes back from the shop. Speaking of which, I finally got the email from Nintendo stating that it arrived. For a while, I was starting to get really nervous (mostly from Dave Mauro’s constant “So, do you have it back yet?” inquires). If disaster had befallen, I would have been more than prepared to tear apart Newark, NJ (I dropped it off at the Kinko’s near my work), which I’ve long wished for. Though I mostly just want a bomb to level the fucking place.

Speaking of Dave, and also back from the dead, is my PSP! Well, it wasn’t dead per say, but when the latest open firmware was applied, I lost the ability to play PSone games and emulators. I made a few attempts to fix the problem myself, but my lack of techno savvy in that area, plus having a Mac (lol) made it impossible. But in Dave’s expert hands, it is now back to it former glory. Granted, I lost all my emulators and roms when my Lacie died most recently as well, but Dave is hooking me up in that department as well. Though I’m still having problems with the CPS2 emulator, so no Pro Gear for me. I also passed along copies of Cool Cool Toon and Lack of Love to add to his library, but Dreamcast games, even when they’re already dupes, are apparently tricky business, And because the DC was not hooked up at the time, we couldn’t play them either, which sucked since I really wanted him to check out Cool Cool Toon.

For those who don’t know, I believe it was SNK’s very first game for Sega’s 128-bitter; a music game with a play mechanic that’s still unique to this day, though Ouendan/Elite Beat Agents is a tiny bit close. Here’s a vid of it in action. The game has a really fun, and totally different (especially for its time) gameplay, plus stellar art direction. Unfortunately the music ain’t that hot, which for a music game is… well, you know the rest.

Speaking of Dreamcast, and woes when it comes to getting games to work, yes, I am well aware of the Rez beta, aka Vibes, that’s floating around (at least, after reading this). And no, I haven’t played it yet, cuz I can?t figure out how to burn a DC disc on a Mac. Yes, go ahead and point and laugh. At least I have this video to tide me over (despite the fact that the person playing it doesn’t seem to be very good at it) till I get Windows onto my MacBook.

As noted in the thread, when I first saw the title and glanced over the info, I seriously almost pissed myself. Till I saw the video and carefully re-read the details, and realized that it’s not the super early concept version seen here and here. It appears to be more or less the final game, though with a bunch of differences in regards to music, graphical detail, transitions, even boss behavior (its noted that the third boss in Boss Rush is different… I wonder if its any better since the one in the final game is the only part of the game that I feel to be weak). Plus, it’s fucking Rez, so naturally, color me interested.

Third in the “IT RISES!” category was the surprise reappearance of channel 35, which some Manhattanites might recall being the dirty or porno access channel (those who went to SVA and lived in the dorms during the late 90s like myself should remember it being on channel 99). Its the former home of Midnight Blue (NEVAR FORGET) and I believe still the home of The Robin Byrd Show, as well as cheesy phone sex ads straight from the 80s till six in the morning. I stumbled across it by accident and was blown away to see those old and very familiar 976 ads. Believe it or not, but hearing the voice of the chicks with dicks chick actually gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling (sorry, not that kind) and I was overjoyed with the idea of introducing such a beloved college tradition to Katie, enough to almost wake her up (this was like three in the morning on Saturday). But alas, it was scrambled once again the very night. God damnit.

As for the rest of the weekend, got boozed up with Mooney at Kenka on Friday night, which has become the norm. The usual topics were covered: comics, pro wrestling, Howard Stern, and how stupid NYU students are. Had their little mini hot dogs for the first time, and they are quite scrumptious. And on Sunday, Katie & I hung out with Joe and June, and Jay and Melinder; highlights included Katie finding an Easter egg in the park, filled with Swedish fish, and an angry black woman clamming afterwards that it was hers and demanding it back (thankfully, Katie had already enjoyed her spoils. Katie also discovered that at one point, I almost married a Russian girl for money so she could stay in the country. I myself learned of some accountant that’s local and apparently good and dirt-cheap. Yes, I have yet to do my taxes because I have been dreading it; I just know it?s gonna cost a fortune, since I worked three full-time jobs last year, in two different states, plus had about seven different freelance clients, and considering that H&R Block charges by the form, you get the idea. Then again, if I get audited, H&R will stand by their client since their big and strong enough to deal with the IRS, plus this new person is apparently in the back of a nail salon? Joe also explained to be that the Jerry Springer Show is apparently VERY different; they have puppets, a stripper pole, and dude that has no lower body that hops around with just his arms as security guard? Cuz the old one got his own show, in case you didn’t already know.EDI: Oh God, Joe was NOT joking.

As for yesterday, that’s when I started becoming full blown sick, so its now Tuesday morning and I’m working from home. Though no rest for the weary: aside from doing blog posts for Zedge, I also have to work on my ICON presentation, put together books (just got a MAJOR order), continue sprucing up the eMac, wait for the internet guy, do laundry, figure out when and where Jerry Springer is on, plus continue cleaning up the place for THE PARTY!!! But since I’m feeling a bit lazy at this exact moment, how about some recent highlights from the forum? Which has been pretty busy as of late…

- Via the random video game videos thread comes a clip of a cat and dog going at via Wii Sports, which is both cute, and rather cruel looking.

- Be sure to also check out the recent vids in the Smash Bros Brawl thread as well, though I’m afraid the rest of the world already knows the insane, and very awesome, degrees of fan-service the game is bursting with. :(

- Does anyone else care about Guitar Hero DS besides me?!

- You guys have heard that there’s ANOTHER live action Street Fighter movie in the works, right?

- Then there’s Chile’s Pokemon crisis.

- God bless local news.

- And, you all do know that Digimon are for reals, right?

- Once again, the Japanese people, they so crazy!

- Via you know what…

Epic lulz.

- Plus “did you see that fucking split?” and some arrogant fucker’s “ultimate, sexy” World of Warcraft secret.

- More folks sexual advice on a message board.

- As awesome as the Gene Simmons sex tape is and all, I still need to see the Tom Sizemore one.

- The animated gif thread keeps getting hotter.

- As does the LOL, Craigslist one, too.

- My love for Japan will apparently lead to certain doom.

- Finally, Forty90 is getting ready for Fucking Hermione Week as well!

… And because my bosses always like when I remind the rest of the world that I have a cell phone blog, here’s some recent posts that I know most of you have missed, including…

- Did you know that you can turn you DS into a phone? BTW, Dave tried it out and it totally works!

- Like cute Korean girls in 60s retro fashion, posing with matching phones? Well here ya go.

- For those who miss that old, landline feel.

- A heart shaped… phone?

- I forget… when I went over the GDC, did I mention the awesome looking VIrtual On clone for the iPhone, or Earth Defense Force Mobile?

- Another oldie, but goodie: some crazy woman and Apple zombies going at it.

- And Takashi Miike + transformable cell phones = ME WANT!!!

… Lastly, remember me passing along the trailer to Kings of Power 4 Billion %? Well, it’s finally finished!

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03/18/2008

“It was rove at first saito.”

by Matthew Hawkins

… Just one of the many memorable quotes from this past weekend, a rather low-key one actually, and the only one that I seem to remember. Which makes them less than memorable I guess!

First off, I love technology but it sure fucking hates me…

- On top of my Mac dying earlier this week, one of my external hard drives also bit the big one. It was 250 gigs and by Lacie, a brand that everyone I know seems to have nothing but trouble with, except for myself, which is why I’ve always gone with them, even quite recently. I got a 500 gigger to back up my eMac, before doing the big wipe, which as everyone knows would ultimately die. Well, same thing happened really; I was moving stuff over from the 250 to the 500, to consolidate everything so I could wipe that the first one clean and make it a daily back-up drive, when all of a sudden certain files refused to copy over, which was annoying to say the least. I tried a bunch of disk utilities, and none of them gave me consistent results. Then last night… and I know this is kinda stupid… I tried doing some heavy-duty file modification in the drive’s environment, and not the Finder (due to the fact that Leopard still has plenty of stupid fucking bugs), which led to it freezing up and making a really loud clicking noise. I then knew then it was all over. Fuck. Didn’t loose anything super important, mostly television shows downloaded via the net (guess I’ll have to pony up the cash and actually buy Ducktales, Monty Python, and the Muppet Show on DVD… either that or rip whatever discs I can get a hold of from Netflix, lol), though I am pissed that I lost a fuck-ton of anime as well. About 50 gigs worth, all acquired a long time ago, which I was going to save for a rainy day, most of which have not been domestically released here. Double fuck. Also lost a ton of roms, which I guess isn’t the worst thing in the world, though included were a number of PSP iso’s that were a bitch to acquire. Though speaking off…

- So for a while I’ve wanted to get my hands on a PMP (portable media player) to watch the shows and movies I’ve downloaded on my way to and fro work or what not, and only recently realized that I already have one: my PSP. So I took a bunch of clips and put them through Handbreak, to make them conform to the PSP’s specs, and… nothing. WTF. So I looked around, and it seems that a bunch of people have problems watching movies on their units. Even ones from the official Sony site (everyone cited the God of War PSP trailer, not surprisingly) and on non-hacked systems. Naturally, no one seemed to have a clear answer. Great. So I finally got a high-speed memory stick pro duo and no games, nor no movies to store it with. EDIT: Okay, so ffmpegX works, somewhat; some files I were able to successfully convert, while others won’t for whatever reason. Better than nothing I guess…

- Back to my dead eMac: I decided to give resuscitation one last shot by trying a bunch of disk utilities, like Disk Warrior and Tech Tool Pro. And nothing. Oddly enough, Disk Warrior was able to see a hard drive, but wouldn’t let me do a damn thing with it. Even stranger was what happened while booting from Tech Tool Pro; I went out of the room just after start-up, and upon returning, saw this horrified look on Katie’s face. The apple boot-up screen was horribly garbled like I had never seen it before (and there were zero problems with the graphics card up till that point). Though it was cute seeing Katie so upset by the very sick eMac (she’s a fan of the hardware as well, so we at least have hers still around).

- Like many people, I have a text file on my computer that has all my passwords to all the assorted sites and online services I utilize. And if anyone else were to get their hands on it, major damage could be done. So Jason once suggested that I house it in an encrypted disk image, and that’s precisely what I did. And accessing it was a breeze on my eMac, because it remembered my password (which, yes, defeats the purpose of locking it up in the first place, I know). Well, for some stupid fucking reason, the password is no longer working. And I had it written down and everything, so its not like I’ve forgotten in. Just wonderful.

- I mentioned this on my cell phone blog site, but I’ll bitch about it here: I recently decided that perhaps my dignity was not as important as ease of use, hence why I purchased a Bluetooth wireless headset, the Jawbone, which the entire world unanimously loves. The fucker is hella expensive due to some military technology that’s behind it, hence the ultra high scores. Well it sucks dick. Or at least mine does; for weeks I’ve struggled to figure out what the fuck is wrong. See, that’s my problem: if one thing goes wrong, and I know what the cause is, that’s at least fine. It’s when one thing goes wrong and there are seven possible reasons, each with their own variables that needed fine-tuning, that’s when I want to blow my fucking brains out. As in the case of my eMac problem, the Lacie problem, and my PSP predicament, I had to figure out if it was my phone or if it was the people I was speaking, and thirty other factors, regarding the root of my shitty reception. In the end, it just doesn’t work for me, and because I bought it from eBay, the chances of getting my money back is zero. But its not like I haven’t tried.

… Oh, and for the thirty-millionth time, there’s also my borked Wii, which is getting fixed this very second. Though on the bright side, Nintendo was nice enough to wave the repair fee! So once again, they fucking rock. Still, its been over a week now, and I’m unable to kick back and relax at my crib with Super Smash Bros Brawl (nor get back into No More Heroes, which I’m desperate to finish). Though at least Katie and I got to play Brawl with Dave Mauro, who’s been messing with it non-stop since it came out, and before that, played through the import for a solid month (of course, anyone whose been following the Smash Bros thread over at the forum knows this already). Katie and I went out to Greenpoint on Saturday, played Smash Bros with some TGQ dude, and once he was gone, myself and Dave gave Rocketmen: Axis of Evil, a new downloadable game from Capcom a whirl.

I hate to say this but…. well, I guess I shouldn’t say anything, since Dave will be whipping up a review of that game a bit later on for this here site, though I can’t see him saying anything more than “Man, this game is awful.” And such a shame too, cuz after constantly chasing after Capcom for answers to questions and other media related requests, someone over there is finally getting back to me! And the first game I manage to get for review from them is this one. So I kinda wanted to make them happy with a flattering review. Oh well. Hopefully they’ll let us to a review of the new Strikers game that’s coming out (hey, I’m a fan of the series, and its a shump, so its up Dave’s alley as well), and in the meantime, Dave could write about Smash Bros; yeah, I know the game is out already, and its so high-profile that anyone who wanted the game already has it, regardless of the seven million reviews that’s already there, but I’m pretty sure none have been authored by such a Smash Bros diehard like our Dave Mauro!

Afterwards, I insisted that we play that horrible EA fighting game starring rappers, Def Jam Icon, mostly for Katie. This time around we had two working Xbox 360 controllers, though it really didn’t matter since the controls are so broken that is not funny, but holy shit, is the game still ever beautiful. And during dinner, our friend over at the west coast, Slonie, became a topic of conversation, mainly his love of cars and car related movies, specifically The Fast And The Furious 3: Tokyo Drift (or should we say, Tokyo Driftu). Thank God it was at Dave’s local video rental house! And it was AWESOME. If you love the idea of a shitty lead actor with a laughable Southern accent (which turns out to be totally legit), a “hot chick” with a GIGANTIC jaw, creatively applied fake ‘n bake tans, a bad guy that’s supposed to be Japanese but is so obviously a Korean dude (at least to us Asians), massive plot holes, and waiting on edge for that fucking Vin Diesel cameo, then this is the movie for you!

On Sunday, I went out to Long Island for the big scheduling meeting for ICON, where everyone figures out what will be running program-wise, and when. Once again, anyone whose familiar with forum might already know from the official ICON 27 thread that it’s been a very rocky road, and things have not come together as I had personally hoped and planned. There were all these grandiose ideas of a video game mini film festival and a chiptunes show that would kick the teeth in of the anime dance party, none of which have materialized. As is, its just more of the same, which isn’t necessarily the worst thing in the world mind you; a bunch of panels covering the broad spectrum of electronic gaming, from art to politics to gender roles and everything in-between, plus like the past four years, I will probably participate in a lot of them. As also stated, aside from it being my fifth appearance as a guest speaker for ICON’s e-gaming programming, this will mark my final one. Truth me told, I wanted to go out on a bang… at least I still have my one hour presentation. But I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to top myself from last year, and given with what I’m going with this year, let’s just say that there is a serious potential for it become a huge train-wreck. So maybe that there is incentive enough for some of you to come out and see me talk? Cuz there’s a very good chance, when all is said and done, that I could find myself lynched by some angry Final Fantasy cosplayer or furry.

The topic will be btw THE ANATOMY OF A GAMER: WHAT MAKES THEM TICK… AND WHAT MAKES THEM EXPLODE. Corny title I know, but its geared towards the ICON audience mind you. So yeah, the Matt Hawkins Ego Express comes to a climactic conclusion this coming April 4-6! And come see me do my best Ric Flair impression that Saturday, the 7th, at 5:00pm (its not at 6 like it normally is… which I’m afraid might result in some folks missing it… I got booted cuz at 6 is some fucking gay-ass Worlds of Warcraft user-meet).

Not too much else to speak off. For whatever reason, I’ve decided to give Final Fantasy 6 for the GBA a spin, which I picked up in Washington a few weeks ago. I had long heard it was the last FF to give a rat’s ass about, and never got the chance to play it for the SNES at the time. Thus far, I dig it. Also been watching copious amounts of cable access with Katie; I’m almost certain if you asked her what’s the best part of living in the Big Apple, her answer would be Wild Record Collection (that show were the dude plays old 45s and has stuff animals dance along). And after sitting down and exploring, I’ve discovered some new gems, like the all woman, pro-feminist, ultra low-budget sci-fi show, Star Crash. Though what we enjoy the most are the call in shows, and attempts at livening them up. Its enough to make me want to get a show of my own!

Oh, and thanks to the internet’s boy wonder, The Drunken Samurai, I was finally able to watch some Japanese slime porn. And my God, it is glorious. There’s no dudes whatsoever, just a cute Japanese girl, covered in thick goo, which I thought was glue… it was categorized under “glue/stuck porn” from the site that TDS pointed out for me… but he believes it to be high fructose corn syrup. Ironic considering how much I avoid soda like the plague. Or maybe not, whatever. It was damn near perfect (there’s even a cheesy sci-fi component), aside from the fact that the girl wasn’t some cute, nerdy white chick, she was wearing panties (and yet there was still that annoying pixilation that’s in all Japanese porn). But as Katie pointed out “She probably didn’t want any in her snatch.” Okay, so that there is another good line.

For those who are brave enough to see what the hell I’m talking about, you can catch the entire thing (including behind the scenes and trailers for other crazy j-porn), here ya go! And speaking off, I guess its been a while since I spotlighted stuff from the forums (for those of you who don’t frequent gaming boards/waste time on the internet as much as myself and company)…

- I can’t believe that one Sega Saturn game that I saw for years in the display case at J&L (or was it Game Express?), gathering dust, was something I should have nabbed. Dammit.

- The actually awesome video game clothing thread got a nice little update today, courtesy of Mike McWhertor from Kotaku

- I know its old news, but I’m still bummed that whole “Do you own a Dreamcast?” thing turned out to be some scam.

- So the dude who created that insane Bubsy 3D vid is back with a bunch of ways to creatively kill Tails (in Sonic 3).

- Another reason why I’m really pissed my Wii is in the shop? I never got the chance to even give Zak and Wiki a play.

- About damn time: a Takeru Kobayashi Game!

- Much like Mike, I also wonder, when will gaming’s WANG BARRIER be broken in a mainstream title?

- Via the stupid and pricey crap that I still want thread comes this…

… and that book on Pi also looks really swell.

- “There is a wrestler in Mexico called HI-YO SILVER, and another called Mini Bart Simpson. Why is there not this level of creativity in America?”

- We’ve already had an awesome desktop thread, so why not one about shitty ones?

- To the shit-tastic comics thread comes a new challenger: the Wiccan Chicken.

- I still can’t believe that coffee thread got so much play.

- I’ll be honest, I’m seriously thinking about going to this internet, the convention.

- Enter the shrine of… the ninja mall!

- Have I ever mentioned the political discussion thread before?

- Man, there’s been so many awesome additions to the random videos thread, such as some Mafioso responding to the subject of illegal aliens, an example of totally horrendous anime and totally awesome anime, exercise + learning English + being mugged + Japan = this video (which I think might be old, but who cares), the internet’s latest superstar, plus a good ol’ fashioned food fight.

- And the random pics thread has a few gems as well…

- Plus the S-S-S-S-S-SOUL CANCER!!! thread has seen some activity as well, but I really can’t pass any examples since it’s so NSFW.

- The countdown to FHW (Fucking Hermione Week) ’08 begins HERE.

- Hey guys and gals, the internet just got creepier!

- Like everyone else, I want to know who the heck is “Forty90″?

- Plus, I’m still not totally sure what a hybric means.

- Wanna see a transvestite midget from Mexico dressed as Amy Winehouse humping a bed? Then knock yourself out.

- And wanna make YouTube even more fun? Here’s how.

- Finally, the random assortment of blogs thread has this…

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